Survival Of The Fittest
by Pandora10001
Summary: 1953, The Red Room. Training all her life in one of Hydra's most militarized espionage programs, Katya has only a few months to prove herself and stay alive. Is she strong enough to survive what lies ahead? Will she finally become the asset she's been trained to be, or will her life turn to a new course?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Welcome to the new story! As always, let me know what you think. I appreciate constructive criticism. This is story is set in the Marvel universe, but the plot and some of the characters are my own. I'd appreciate no stealing/copying of any sort. Cheers :)**

 **Warnings (For the entirety of this story) – dark themes, age-gap, sexual content.**

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 **1953, Romania**

I've never left the Facility. I've never seen the outside world. None of us have. All twenty-seven of us girls were raised in the underground Facility since birth, but not by our parents. We never knew them either. We only knew instructors, doctors and scientists. Most, if not all, dressed the same, but few of them ever lasted long enough to remember.

As for the outside world, we studied and learnt of it through textbooks and weekly classes. We were taught the laws, the culture and about the people who matter. It's a strange place. A place I'd sometimes dream about; the ocean and land, big cities and small countries. I tried to imagine how the wind or sun would feel on my face. Up there is nothing like down here.

Down here it's cold, punishing and without comfort.

"One, two, three" clapped Madame to the sound of symphony "Point the toes Rachael. Not so sloppy. Yes?" her Russian accent is thick as she spoke.

Dressed in a black pencil skirt and grey blouse Madame, as we referred to her, is a tall and petite brunet in both beauty and elegance; even if she is in her mid-forties. Although she never likes to show it and could be harsh in her words, we all know that she cares about our success.

Standing in line with the other girls, were all dressed in matching black leotards and cream coloured stockings. Our feet are bound with bandages for support. With a straight face, I watched as Rachael glided across the wooden floor boards in front of us; her blonde hair in a tight bun. None of us complained as we danced for hours on end. Our lessons are routine for all of us.

Blinking in response, Rachael tumbled to the floor on the last number. Her body made a loud thud as she collided with the wooden floor boards. Clutching her left ankle, the blonde winced at the obvious pain but tried not to show it too much. The rest of us didn't move to help her; it's against the rules.

"Get up" snapped Madame, her eyes firm on the girl before her. It had taken Rachael far too long to move as she hobbled back to the end of the line. Continuing with our lesson, Madame smacked her hands together while she crossed the room. Her high heels made a loud clicking along the way "Begin Katya"

Stepping forward, I held my body straight and in position. I waited for the symphony to start before I followed in suit; graceful and swift like a swan. Dancing is a necessary pain, it teaches us to be light on our feet as well as flexible. It hurt excruciatingly at the beginning when we first started dancing; our feet ached, our toe nails split and we had blisters for days. But over the years our bodies and minds hardened and we learned to hold back the feeling of pain.

Jumping up high, I stretched my legs wide and pointed my toes. Landing with precision, I twirled with my arms held above my head for the last minute of the dance. When it had ended, Madame took the needle off the recorder just as a none-too-enthusiastic clap sounded in the room. I could tell the gesture didn't belong to Madame, it was coming from the other side of the room.

I looked up to see the girls standing with their heads held high. It was then that I realised the person to be none other than Doctor Krupin. In charge in overseeing our training, Krupin is a polite man in his late forties; dressed in an ashy brown suit and wire framed glasses. Although as polite as he may be, he certainly isn't a man you would cross. Like Madame, he takes our training and preparation very seriously.

"Good afternoon my girls" he greeted us with a smile on his face.

"Good afternoon doctor" we all replied in unison.

I'm curious as to why he's here. It's not uncommon for Krupin to look into our progress, but he tends not to bother when it came to ballet. He leaves it mostly up to Madame to instruct us and if needed, to inform him if any issues were to arise. Removing myself from the dance floor, I stepped back in line with the others.

Krupin walked to stand beside Madame. He looked at each and every one of us with his green eyes; scanning for every bit of detail "You all might be wondering why I'm here" started Krupin "As you may know, Graduation is soon. Through the course of your sixteen years of life, you've been trained in the art of espionage; to push your mind and body beyond the limits" Krupin clasped his hands behind his back "In the following months, each of you will be undergoing group and single training with a new instructor. You will listen, you will follow and you will learn. This is the time to show your knowledge and skills, and to show what it takes. Remember my girls, it's survival of the fittest – only the strong may live"

After doctor Krupin had left, we were soon dismissed our lesion. It's time to go to the shower before dinner. Proceeding down the dome cement corridor, we turned into the bathroom; a large room filled with half walled stalls and metal shower heads in the middle corners. Tiled with plain white, it's relatively clean like the floors which are made out of a light grey linoleum. Putting our towels and clothes on the bench lining one of the walls, we each picked a stall to shower in.

Taking our time, none of us rushed as we washed ourselves; some liking the hot water and others too busy fixing their wounds from ballet. Scrubbing at my skin with soap, it felt nice to work out the kinks and tension in my muscles. Leaning my head back, I felt the water drip over my hair as I wiped my face clean. It wasn't long until the alarm signalling dinner buzzed through the room and we quickly finished up.

Drying off, I placed on our usual uniform that's a form fitting long grey shirt and pants with white shoes "Katya" I heard someone call from behind me. Turning around, I found it to be Rachael. She's still sitting at the bench with her towel wrapped around her.

"What's is it?" I questioned while walking towards her. I don't know why I bothered asking when I already knew the answer.

"My ankle" she whispered, not wanting the last of the girls walking out to hear. I noticed her left foot is slightly raised off the ground and it had started to turn purple and yellow. Walking over, I leant down on my knees and cupped my hands around her ankle. She immediately hissed and grabbed onto the bench so tight her knuckles turned white.

"You've broken it" I spoke with a dull tone and sigh. At a time like this it's neither good nor convenient to have an injury so severe. It would be best to take her to the Doctor; the man who fixes us after combat training. But if I did, then Krupin would know. I moved over some towels "Lay down" I ordered.

"Why? What are you going to do?" her face went taught. She's worried. Pushing on her shoulder she laid back with her right leg bent while the left was laid flat. Grabbing a dry wash cloth, I twisted it and told her to bite down; I don't want someone to hear.

"Hold still and don't scream" Rachel nodded hesitantly before bracing herself.

Kneeling on the ground, I held her ankle and grabbed the soul of her foot. Twisting it, I pulled it up and then back before a crunch sounded out. I could hear the muffled screams she let into the towel. Grabbing the bandages that were used for ballet, I wrapped it around to secure her ankle in place. Getting up from the bench, she removed the towel from her mouth and wiped away the tears.

"Now" I said while looking up at her "Don't tell anyone. Leave the bandage on, you'll need it for training tomorrow. If there's something you need, come to me and only me, no one else. Understand?" she gave me a quick nod of her head "Now, we need to go to dinner"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

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Rolling over onto my back, I stared up at the white roof above my bed. I can see there's a slight crack forming in the corners as well as a yellow water stain. Closing my eyes, I waited with the few minutes I had left in silence. But it wasn't long until I heard the buzz and the bright L.E.D lights flicker on like clockwork.

It's time to get up.

Pushing off the blanket I sat up and stretched out my right arm, it had gone to sleep while I was laying on it. Tying my hair up into a pony tail, I saw the other girls immerging from their own beds. We're all getting dressed into a black sports bra and thick leggings; our usual combat training uniform.

After making my bed, I followed the other girls and started heading towards the mess hall. Located at the end of the long corridor, it's a large room filled with metal benches and several guards in their black uniforms. Although we eat together, they of course keep separate from us and remain on the left side of the room. Every day they whisper in hush tones.

I wonder what it would be about this time.

Not a few weeks ago the guards were gossiping about how doctor Zeken, a biomechanics doctor was killed, his head twisted completely around. Even to this day I'm still curious about how exactly the incident had occurred. What was the reason for such violence? Then there's the fact that it would've taken a lot of applied force for it to be twisted so far.

Passing through the open door way, I stood in line as they served out our mandatory trays. The food is nothing more than a balanced diet of protein and essential vitamins; enough to keep our bodies full and functioning. Waiting, the few minutes had passed when I was handed my own tray and I turned to see my usual table empty in the corner.

Heading over, I sat down and began to eat the slice of bread when a shadow figure sat across from me. It was Rachel. Ignoring her, I continued to eat but she had yet to move from the table "You need to leave" I said but didn't look up.

"You told me I could come to you" she whispered quietly and clearly confused.

"Is it about your ankle?" I questioned.

"No, but –"

"Then you need to leave" I interrupted.

"Please. Please, I need your help" searching my face for a response, Rachel scratched her arm. I noticed it's a nervous habit of hers.

"I've helped you enough Rachael. If it's about your ankle then I'll look at it later, but make no mistake, I'm not your friend" picking up the plastic cup full of water I took a long sip.

Shuffling closer, she ignored me and continued "All I'm asking is that you pair with me today for training" this conversation is wasting my time but she's persistent, I'll give her that "I can barely stand"

"Complaining won't help you" I huffed "Find a table that isn't this one, sit down and stop whining. The more you talk about it the more chance you have of someone discovering your injury"

"Please, Katya. I need your help, just this once" I could practically hear the need dripping from her voice. She's going as far as to beg me. It was disappointing to hear. All this training and here she is whimpering around for my help. I'm surprised she's managed to survive all these years.

I sighed. It's just once, I thought to myself. But if I'm going to help her, it would need to be discreet and confidential. I don't need the others finding out I'm lugging around dead weight "This stays between us" I spoke firmly "No one knows anything. If they find out I'm helping you, there'll be consequences; not just for you but for me as well"

Rachel nodded her head and rose from her seat with her tray in hand "Thank you" she mumbled as she went and sat at another table.

* * *

Bright lights lit up the room as we stood waiting. The walls and floor are a grey concrete and spread out across the room are black mats for us to spar on. On the left of the entry is a single door that leads into the adjacent combat room. With our backs against the wall, we had our attention on our main Instructor; an overall broad man with defined muscles and a scar on his left brow.

"I want you all to get into pairs, now" he commanded with a raspy voice. Separating, I moved towards a mat at the back corner and waited for Rachael. I noticed she was still limping lightly but not enough for anyone to notice right away "Start with the basic for warm up"

Changing my stance and moving my arms into place, I waited for her to start. As we flexed our arms and practiced our moves, my body became less tense and more comfortable. Stopping after a few more minutes we lined up again and waited for further orders.

"Nina and Yelena, on the floor" called the Instructor "From now on there's going to be a new rule. No one is allowed to concede. You fight until someone wins" he said while looking down at his clipboard.

I could hear the sharp intake of breath from beside me. Today the Instructor is choosing the pairings which means Rachael has a slim chance of getting me. Its things like this that are going to make the next few months even harder for all of us. Standing by, we watched as Yelena easily pinned Nina to the floor. Her nose is bloodied and her lip split from the punch thrown to her face in the first assault.

It's gruesome, but it's nothing we haven't all seen before. As Yelena reached over, Nina threw her head back. It made contact with Yelena's chin, giving her enough time to get up. Managing to get a few lucky punches in, Yelena had gotten back the upper hand and the match was over. Laying curled on the floor, Nina clutched her ribs as blood oozed from her nose.

Hours had passed as couples were paired off one after the other. Blood and other fluids stained the floor a crimson red "Rachael, and Katya" called our Instructor. I tried not to snicker at the luck and mercy Rachel had received. Walking out onto the floor, I stood opposite to her. If this is going to be convincing, then she can't leave unscathed.

Not waiting until Rachel had gotten into the proper position, I had already punched her in the windpipe. Gasping, she bent over clutching her throat whilst coughing. Grabbing the back of her neck, I kneed her in the face. Falling down into the floor I felt the warm patch on my knee as the blood seeped through. She was now huddled over on all fours trying to collect herself and get up.

Pretending to lean down and hit her again, I whispered "You need to hit me"

It took her a second to register what I'd said before snapping her head up into my face and splitting my eyebrow open. Blood streaked down my face in a thick stream. Getting up from the floor she had her hands raised and threw a punch. Letting it connect with my jaw, I fell to the sparring mat. I was letting her finish the fight and with one last kick, my ribs let out a sickening crack.

After the training session was over, I made my way to the Facility Doctor to have my wounds assessed. My ribs ached and stung with a splintering pain, but I wasn't allowed to stop my training. If someone's trying to kill you out on the field, there not going to stop and let you heal. Waiting for the Doctor, I sat on the gurney and watched as the clock ticked over four-thirty.

"Alright" I heard a male voice call as he made his way over. Snapping on his gloves, he said "Lift your arms. I need to check your ribs" I did as he said and the Doctor ran his fingers over my bones, feeling just underneath where my sports bra started. I can feel the pain spike like a red hot fire, but I didn't let it show. Sighing, the Doctor told me "You have a fracture. It'll heal in a few days. Try to avoid getting hid there again"

Pushing up his rectangle glasses further up his nose, he reached behind him to grab a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a cloth and a kidney tray. Bending my head down, the Doctor began to clean the blood from my brow and cheek. He took of his gloves afterwards "Is that it?" I questioned.

"Yes. You can go now"

Getting up from the gurney, I made my way to the showers and afterwards, to the mess hall. Once I finished eating, I headed to our sleeping quarters before sitting down on the edge of my bed. I can hear a group of girls whispering, including Yelena and Mira as they were standing huddled in the corner behind me.

Staring ahead at the wall, I listened in but only picked up slivers of their conversation. There too far away to hear it all "Join us" they said "Won't regret it. Won't make it" I came to the conclusion that they must be grouping up after today's training. They got a good view of everyone's matches in the combat room and now they know who to look out for.

"Alright" came a familiar voice "I'll join" it was Rachel.

I loathed and I praised. She knows that I won't help her after today's session, so she's using her 'win' as an upper hand. Now that Rachel has initiated herself into their little group, she won't have to worry about them going hard on her. It's smart, until they figure it out. I sighed. Laying down on my bed, I continued to listen as they talked and mulled things over about strategy; who to focus on.

* * *

 ** _Lab 46_**

 _The room is cold and bright. There's several consoles and computers, and a large cryo tube stood mounted in the middle of the room "Sir, where ready" spoke one of the head scientist as he looked to his superior._

 _Walking forward, Krupin gazed through the frosted glass. He's just a man. Flesh and blood. Yet when the others in his organisation spoke his name, they shivered in fear. Even in this frozen and almost peaceful state the soldier appears dangerous, but not nearly as deadly when awake. Krupin swallowed. He's never seen the Asset up close and personal. He's only ever heard the tales of murder, the angry outburst and the deeds he's done for Hydra._

 _Krupin remembered that the scientist had spoken "Good. It's time for him to wake up. I trust that he'll be well looked after in your care" Krupin turned his body and watched the scientist as he began to fiddle with a few consuls._

 _"Yes sir. I'll make sure of it"_

 _"Of course, I'll need him to be in peak condition if he's to start training my girls. What better way to learn, than from the face of Hydra itself?"_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

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Weapons, they can either be a valuable asset or a nuisance. Here in the facility there's many to choose from when it comes to training. There's long distance, like guns and grenades, or short distance for if you preferred up close and personal. All of us here specialise in both, some a little more than others.

Personally, I find knives are more suited for my taste. For one reason or another I'd grown to love the way it feels; how my fingers wrapped perfectly around the handle and how the weight was enough to anchor my sense of control. A blade is also much more efficient as it has several uses other than killing or maiming. In the end, it comes down to skill. Patient became a virtue worth having and for me, I have all the time in the world.

The practice room is large and wide with the same grey cement covered walls and floors. Large L.E.D lights hung from above to illuminate all for clear sight. The ceiling is extremely tall so it can accommodate the variety of indoor obstacle courses. Military in design the obstacles cover a half portion of the room at the back end. At the front end are the individual stations with gun racks and ammo shelves so we could practise our aim and reloading.

Dressed in our familiar black sports bra and pants, we waited in line for our Instructor who stood before us. Positioned with his legs slightly apart and his hands behind his back, I could tell that there's something not quite right about the Instructor today. His eyes flickered over us as if he didn't know where to look, and even from this distance I could see the sheen of sweat gathering on his forehead.

I know it wouldn't be because of us. He's never been like this with us before, so why change now. It has to be something more, something that hadn't settled right by the looks of it. I cleared my head. It's frustrating sometimes when I'd catch myself analysing someone; the way they spoke, looked or moved. However, the natural reflex had been engraved into all of us in order to keep alert and ready. Although at times, I just want to shut it off.

Deciding to swallow the lump in his throat, the Instructor finally spoke "Today you'll be taking turns on the courses" while gesturing behind him "Doctor Krupin wants to make sure you're all fit and healthy for tomorrow. As always, I'll be monitoring your time. While you're not on the course you'll be making use of the other stations. Katlin, you're first"

An orange haired girl with freckles stepped up to the yellow line on the floor and waited for the Instructors signal. Average in height and weight, her build is petite which gives her a disadvantage when throwing punches or pinning anyone during combat. She also a little too kind in nature, but she takes training relatively serious as well as the advice given to her. Which I found is always to hit harder, but Katlin never could even when she tried.

Making my way over to the left side of the room, I looked at the weapon racks. Scanning over each of the guns, I chose the Heckler and Koch P30. Built with interchangeable back straps for a fine grip, the P30 is extremely reliable. With a slide lever and an ambidextrous magazine release, it's easy to handle. Checking the mag I clipped it back into place and walked over to one of the ranges.

Holding up the weapon with both hands and perfect form, I pulled the trigger and shot ten rounds into the silicon dummy a few meters away. Pressing the red button on the station desk, I started to disassemble my gun as the dummy came forward. As it reached me, I pressed the button again whilst still working at my gun.

If I could disassemble and reassemble in the time it took for the dummy to come to me and go back then I'm doing it in time. I didn't bother to check if I'd hit the target, I knew I had. Firing the gun a few more time, I placed it back on the rack and turned to watch as the girls raced around the obstacle course one after the other.

Most of them made it around with no troubles, their breathing controlled and their timing short. However, I noticed Rachael's run around had been better than anticipated. It's only been a few days and although her face was scrunched with concentration, she showed no sign of discomfort. It's odd for such a rigorous exercise. Her ankle wouldn't have healed enough yet for her to be doing what she is now.

From my peripheral a thin figure had walked up to stand on my right "Do you notice it too?" from the corner of my eye I saw it to be the girl with the orange hair and freckles – Katlin.

My face is placid as I crossed by arms and replied "Notice what?"

"That she's managing to climb the net without so much as a sweat" she was quiet for second before she continued in a hushed tone "I know about her ankle. I sore the bruises when she got out of the showers the night she fell"

"And you never told anyone?" I questioned. If it'd been anyone else they would have told somebody by now, but it wasn't. Instead Katlin's unmistaken kindness was shining through again. Maybe not now, but eventually that kindness would be the death of her.

"I didn't because you didn't" she replied. Her eyes widened a split second after the words left her mouth. Sighing, she confessed "One of the guards asked me to find you and when I did, you were helping her"

"If you kept it a secret, why wouldn't you use it to your advantage? You could have helped yourself get ahead, use her injury to get through training. It would've been a smart move on your part"

Katlin mumbled while shaking her head slightly "I'm not the type of person who sneaks behind and stabs you in the back. If I had, the others wouldn't have invited her into their group. I felt sorry for Rachel. The odds weren't in her favour and she was in constant pain – until today that is"

"If you want a chance to live you should consider tipping the scales in your own favour, not everyone else's. The next few months are going to be hard and nothing like we've been through before. Doctor Krupin will be testing us at every turn, circling the ones who have a chance and the ones that don't. I've seen you fight. You're not strong but your quick, and if you play your cards right you might just survive"

Katlin shook her head "There's only one person that's going to make it all the way" she uttered more to herself than me "And it won't be me and it won't be Rachael, or any one of those other girls out there. They may not remember what happened, it was years ago, but I do – which is why you can't stand there and tell me I'm going to live"

It had taken me a minute to process what Katlin had said to me. I was almost shocked. I didn't think anyone still remembered, even I barely did. I'd hoped deep down that that moment, that nightmare, had disappeared. I guess I was wrong.

"Katya!" hearing my name being called out by the Instructor, I unfolded my arms and walked to the starting line before leaning down in a crouched position. The Instructor stood to the side, holding the same clipboard and timer "You'll do one lap, make it fast. On my mark – Go!"

Bursting from my position, I ran towards the first obstacle; a solid concrete wall a few feet high. With the momentum I used my foot to push up and give me leverage so I could grab the top. Jumping off the ledge, my feet hit the ground below. The force vibrated though my legs and knees, sending a shooting pain up my body.

Ignoring it, I pushed on and stepped through the hollow insides of the tires that had been lain out on the ground in two tight rows. Raising my knees high to avoid tripping, I had reached the end and jumped up onto the platform to cross along the series of thin metal bars; swinging across two at a time.

Next is the wall of black netting that went half way up to the ceiling. I remembered when we were young that this used to be the trickiest of all the obstacles, as our feet continuously got stuck. Most of us fell off to the floor below, but if we were lucky the net would twist around our ankle; leaving us to hang there. Of course no one ever helped us down, the Instructor insisted that if you got yourself in this mess and you'll get yourself out.

Although not comforting words at a young and tender age, it was now remembered as a lesson; that someone isn't always going to be there to help you. Focusing on my breathing, I finished the rest of the course. I knew I'd completed it in a satisfying time, as usual. Collecting myself, I slowly walked past Katlin to stand in front of the station. There's no point lingering around.

Grabbing a set of throwing knives, I started to hurl them one after the other; each of them sound with a thud upon contact. Although their approaching footsteps from behind are faint, I still knew who ever it was is there "You're getting faster" came the pitched voice of Yelena. She was referring to my course time.

"Never fast enough" I replied while throwing another knife. It lodged in the 'brain' of the dummy, right between the eyes.

A tall and broad shouldered girl with short black hair and beady brown eyes, Yelena is quite strong and sturdy which makes it easier for her when it comes to hand-to-hand combat "We want you to join us. There's no point going alone. Right Mira?" she's Yelena's friend.

Since those two had first met each other they were rarely ever apart, always chatting and discriminating everyone that weren't themselves. They'd had it in their minds a while ago that they were the ones that were going to make it to the very end. It was stupid in my opinion. Only one out of the all twenty-seven girls is going to graduate. Sooner or later there going to have to face that fact.

"Yeah" Mira agreed "The rest are all pathetic. No potential or chance of surviving. I say we're doing a favour by getting rid of them first. No point in drawing it out" flicking her golden hair from behind her shoulder she was, in all intents and purposes, the doppelganger of Yelena; big boned and no brains.

I didn't turn around to look at them as the pair stood behind me. I don't need to in order to give them my reply "No" I said all too bluntly. I picked up another knife from the table in front of me.

"No?" Yelena scoffed, insulted by my rejection "What do you mean?"

Even with my back turned to her I could feel the anger rolling off in waves. She's certainly quick tempered. Ignoring Yelena as I focused on the target before me, there was one place left on the dummy that I had yet to hit – the heart.

"Hey!" Mira blared from behind "Its polite to look at someone when they're talking to you" lining up I'd went to throw when Mira placed her hand on my shoulder, ready to hurl me to the floor.

I don't remember what exactly happen, but it had clicked in my body and my instincts came over me. With the knife still in my grip, I reached up and twisted Mira's wrist and torso until she slammed against the table with such a loud bang everyone had stopped what they were doing to look at us. I could hear the Instructors voice in the distance, but I didn't listen.

Holding Mira down, the knife I had in my hand came down quicker that light itself; heading straight for the heart. But before I could reach it, a painstakingly tight hold had clasped around my wrist leaving the knife hovering just a few mere centimetres from Mira's chest. I glanced to see who was inflicting my sudden pain when I found my wrist clutched into that of a hand. It was made of metal.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

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It made me shiver in both wonder and terror as I watched the plates that made up my assailants left arm _shift_. It was like nothing I'd ever seen. The metal limb before me is far into the future of today's technology. It's like something from a completely other time. I didn't know what else to think about it, other than the fact it came out of nowhere and that it's crushing my wrist.

Snapping from my thoughts, I winced in pain as my brows furrowed. The grip tightened causing the knife to slip from my hands and clatter to the ground.

Using the distraction, Mira had scurried from under me and back to Yelena's side. Loud footsteps soon echoed into the room and the voice of doctor Krupin began to sneer "Don't let her go Solider, and as for the rest of you – get in line" I could tell by his tone that he isn't impressed with what's transpiring.

I don't feel as if it's my fault. I was clearly provoked. Turning in my spot, I went to look at the so called Soldier who stood behind me. However, I was abruptly turned around. Releasing his hold on my wrist, the Soldiers hand clutched around my throat to slam my back down onto the table. I almost thought it might have broken from the force.

Reaching up with my hands, I clutched the Soldiers metal wrist trying to pry his metal fingers away. It wasn't working. Glancing up, I realised I had the perfect view of the man as he towered above and over me. Tall with a solid muscular build, his body is clad in a black military uniform and vest. Long brown hair framed around his face and a black mask covered the lower half of his face, leaving only a pair of steel blue eyes glaring down at me.

My lungs involuntarily gasped as I observed him. Everything about the way the Soldier stood and the way he looked, it all screamed dominance, control and most of all – danger. All my body wanted to do was fight to get away. Grabbing his arm for support, I kicked my left knee up and hit him directly in the left side of the face.

The Soldiers hold on my throat didn't falter, and instead it grew tighter as he squeezed. Anger flashed in his wild eyes, while my own began to flutter as the oxygen started to leave my body. I refused to give up. Defeat isn't what I've been trained for.

Reeling my leg back up, I went to hit him again only I didn't get the chance. Pushing his body further forward for more leverage, his groin grazed against mine. Lifting my upper body up with the strength of his metal hand, the Soldier slammed me back into the table. Stars instantly tingled across my vision. He didn't stop and continued to beat my head back against the surface of the table – darkness consumed me.

* * *

 ** _Flash Back_**

 _It was late at night as I stood in one the shower cubicles. My arms are folded over my chest and Madame is on her knees in front of me, scrubbing my body and face vigorously with a wet cloth. Looking down, I stared at the pinkish tinged water as it trailed down my flesh to whirl into the drain. Madame stopped what she was doing to speak._

 _"Listen to me" she took my face in her soft hands "You'll forget what happened. You won't speak of it again"_

 _I apologised "I didn't mean to do it" our eyes locked with one another._

 _With all seriousness Madame held me with a solid gaze and uttered the words "Yes, you did"_

* * *

I hadn't dreamt of that memory in such a long time. It was a constant reminder when it came to my everyday life. It was always there, those three words. It was as if someone was saying it over and over again in my head so that I didn't forget. My eyelids fluttered as I stirred on the medical gurney. I was met with the sight of a white ceiling and surgical lamp hovering above.

Glancing around, I willed my body to sit up when I felt a tug on my wrists. I looked to see I'd been restrained "Katya, your finally awake" my head turned to see doctor Krupin and the Doctor standing both patiently waiting "I was beginning to worry that you wouldn't" Krupin's lips had a hint of a smile, as if the situation were funny in some way.

"Why am I here?" I asked while tugging on my wrist again, trying to get free.

"You've been unconscious for days. I must admit, the Soldier was a little too rough" replied Krupin. That would be an understatement, because of the Soldier I'd have to catch up on the training I'd missed "The Doctor will take a quick look at you, then you're free to leave. Try not to cause too much trouble Katya" Krupin walked toward the door "There'll be plenty of time to kill each other later"

The door closed behind Krupin with a soft click, leaving just me and the Doctor alone. Walking towards me, he'd already snapped on his white latex gloves and was now unbuckling my restraints "You can sit up" pulling my body into an upright position, I swung my legs over the edge and clutched the edge for support "I need to assess you to make sure he didn't do anything too serious"

Blinking away the dizziness, I asked the Doctor "The man that did this, who is he?" it was a small chance that the Doctor would know anything about the man I was referring to, but it was worth a try; better something than nothing.

"Man?" the Doctor scoffed while moving his hands to the back of my "I would hardly call that thing a man" I can feel the pressure of his fingers press into various tender spots. Despite the Doctors cold remark, there was something in his voice. A slight tremble as he answered.

"You're afraid?"

"You would be stupid not to be" the Doctor sighed "The Soldier is going to be a part of the program. He'll be helping you and the other girls train from now on. Doctor Krupin deemed the other instructor incapable and he was dispatched" in other words, eliminated.

Taking out a pen light, he held a finger up into the air and asked me to follow the direction. After a few more examinations, the Doctor was happy with the results. Getting down from the gurney, I went to walk out but stopped mid-stride.

"The girl, Rachel" I said while turning to see his breath hitch "You've been helping her. Why?"

Looking up from his clipboard, the Doctors eyes landed on mine "I don't know what you're talking about"

The look on his face and the answer he gave me is all the evidence I needed to know that I'm right. The Doctor is the one responsible for Rachel's miraculous recovery. It makes sense. He's the only person in the Facility that's able to give her the medical attention that she needs. Only, I have no idea as to why he would have done so. Was she threatening him? Bribing him?

Leaving the room for the mess hall, I arrived to see that two extra guards had been stationed outside the door. It was most likely because of the incident. Standing in line to receive my tray of food, I sat down at my usual seat in the corner. Picking up a protein pack that consisted of a hard green, jelly like slices, I began to eat in silence. The usual banter of the mess hall filled the room, mostly that of the guards and some of the girls

"I see you've finally recovered" spoke Katlin "I was beginning to worry. They had you in there for days" sitting down across from me, she tore open a protein packet "What did he look like?"

I stopped mid-bite. The question was out of the blue "You didn't see?"

Katlin shook her head "No. After you were unconscious, the Soldier dragged you to the medical bay. We haven't seen you or him since then. None of us have had combat training for days"

Krupin mustn't have wanted to continue on without all of us there. I didn't answer Katlin's questioned. The Soldiers going to be our new instructor, she'll see him soon enough; most likely tomorrow. Not bothering to tell her to go away, I didn't have the energy. Sitting in silence instead, we ate the tasteless meals we were provided.

After dinner had finished, we all wandered back to our sleeping quarters and I walked over to my bunk. Rubbing the back of my head, I could feel my brain start to throb. Pulling the covers on my bed, Madame walked into the room holding a cardboard box. Without uttering a single word, she walked over to the closest bunk and instructed the girl to hold out her arm. Madame retrieved a set of handcuffs from the box and attached one end to the girl's wrist, and the other to the metal bar of the bed frame.

There handcuffing us now?

Making it around the room, Madame stopped in front of me "Hold old your wrist Katya" I did as she said and the cold metal contraption surrounded my skin. Pulling back to lay on the bed, the other end clicked into place. Madame finished with the last girl and left, the lights turning off soon after.

I could hear the other girl's cuffs clinking as they moved. Some were displeased by the inconvenience, while others tossed and turned. Tugging on my own, I was allowed very little movement and it chaffed against my skin. Between the headache and discomfort, it'd taken me hours to fall asleep and when I did, I only ended up back in my nightmare.

* * *

 ** _Flash Back_**

 _Standing in the room for combat training, it was me against Gretta; a blonde haired girl with a slim figure. Waiting for the Instructor to signal the beginning of our fight, the steel double doors suddenly opened and doctor Krupin and three other men dressed in military uniforms filed in. Their suits are decorated with all sorts of medals and pins. All three of them held an expression of excitement and curiosity as they looked us up and down, while doctor Krupin stood looking proud._

 _The Instructor walked over to the group and hushed whispers were exchanged. When they'd finished, the Instructor looked at us again with slight worry "No conceding. No mercy" he said. I'm still confused. Are those men going to stay and watch us?_

 _Turning, I looked at Gretta as we both got into our stances. A moment passed before I stepped forward and Gretta kicked her leg up into the air to hit me in the face. Dodging it, I grabbed her foot and pulled toward me. Her dainty body slipped onto the floor and I quickly went to stomp on her face. She rolled away in time and my foot collided with the concrete instead. Pain rippled up my leg._

 _Managing to get to her hands and knees, I kicked her in the stomach. Instantly she started to reach with dry air. Bending over, I tugged on her golden locks to get a good grip as my knee collided into her nose with a sickening crunch. I could hear the satisfied grunts of the men watching, but ignored it as the blood pooled down Gretta's face; thick and red._

 _We were young. I held back. Giving Gretta time to rise to her feet, I held up my fists. I went to punch her again bit she had blocked my attempt and landed her own blows instead, twice. Feeling the sticky liquid run down my cheek from the newly formed gash, I moved forward and hoisted my body onto her shoulders._

 _Wrapping my legs around her head, I twisted my own weight against us to send hers and my form slamming against the concrete. Taking the brunt of the fall, Gretta's back let out a sickening crack and a moan of pain flowed from her lips. Getting up to stand, I'd assumed that the fight was now finished and I went to go stand back in line._

 _Krupin tisked "Not so fast Katya" Krupin looked from the sergeants and then back to me "I want you to finished it"_

 _"Finish it?" I questioned. I know what Krupin means, but I didn't know why. It's clear who'd won the fight and he'd never asked any of us girls to kill a person before. Was he trying to prove a point to the men he's with? That were obedient._

 _I knew what he meant but I didn't know why he would. It was clear who had one the fight and he had never asked us to kill anyone before...he was trying to prove a point to the men he was with – that we were obedient._

 _Nodding his head, Krupin continued "You showed weakness today. Now, you must finish it"_

 _I hesitated. My mind went in all sorts of directions. Can I do this? Could I take a human life? It's all crashing down on me now. Looking at Gretta as she twitched on the ground in pain, I struggled to make my legs move. Approaching, she looked at me with eyes wide as saucers. Scrambling away, I grabbed and pulled her leg close._

 _Gretta continued to kick and squeal, like a pig to the slaughter "Katya" she begged "Stop it. Don't do this"_

 _I pulled Gretta up onto her feet. I can't stop myself. It's not me doing it. I swear. Swinging her fist in defence, she managed to punch me again in a fit to free herself. Losing my grip, Gretta went to run when I turned around and caught the back of her top. Yanking her toward me, I didn't hesitate this time. Hesitation is weakness._

 _Twisting around with my back pressing against hers, my hand grabbed behind me to latch onto her jaw under the chin with a vice like grip over my shoulder. Dropping down onto my left knee, I pulled with as much force as I could muster. With the added pressure of her weight falling back and my pulling, a sickening crack sounded out into the room like splintering lightening. Gretta's corpse dropped to the floor as I let go._

 _She's dead._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

"Come Eliza. We don't have all day"

Pulling away the needle from the recorder, Madame sighed and clutched her temple in frustration. We're perfecting the new steps of our dance and Eliza can't manage to twist without falling on her last jump. It's now her fifth attempt, and it seems like she's never going to get it right. Rising up from the floor, Eliza started again and was about to near the moment to jump when Madame stopped her.

Crossing the room with a click of her red heels, she instructed "Arms up" Madame placed Eliza's hands where they should be "As you move to jump, don't hesitate. Build momentum. Push your body up. It must be graceful and swift, like a dove taking flight – not a pigeon"

Walking back to the side, Madam started the recording again as Eliza positioned herself. The jump was better this time but as for the landing, she hadn't fallen, but it was far from graceful as her feet hit the ground with a thud.

A handful of hours passed us by when our ballet lesson was over. Heading toward the door to leave, Madame called my name "Katya. Come here" pausing, I turned around to see her sitting on a chair next to the recorder. The other girls had all filed out by the time I stood in front of Madam. Lifting her left hand, she clutched a lit cigarette and pushed the end between her red lips whilst breathing in "The Doctor wishes to speak with you"

"Did he say what for?" I asked.

"No" Madame took another drag of her cigarette.

Nodding my head, I could see she wanted to say something else but had refrained from doing so. Instead she looked away from me and placed the needle back onto the recorder, letting symphony play out into the air. I took that as my cue to leave and I proceeded down the hall to the Doctors office and knocked.

I waited "Come in" entering the room, the Doctor looked up from his medical tray "Katya. Are you done already?" he asked, trying to make light conversation. What for, I didn't know. Doctor Krupin isn't here so there's no reason for him to play the caring game and I highly doubt that he's being genuine.

"Yes. Madame said you wished to speak with me" my face is blank of any kindness and I'm being blunt and straight to the point.

"Ah, yes. Another examination. Come" he said while tapping the gurney "Take a seat" walking over, I sat in an upright position. With the tips of his fingers, the Doctor began to feel the back of my head again as well as using the pen light to see my pupils "Are you feeling better? No dizziness or headaches?"

"No, I feel fine" I didn't want to tell him anything more; that I do become dizzy and that I do have headaches. Now that I know he's helping Rachael, I don't trust him. There's something off about the Doctor and I couldn't ignore it.

"Alright then" he said.

Turning his body to the right, the Doctor reached to the tray he was working on before and lifted up a rather large needle. What was that? Furrowing my brow, he turned back and took the cap off while reaching for my neck. Grabbing his wrist, I twisted the hand holding it the needle away from me. The Doctor winced and gave me a wide eyed look.

"Katya, stop!" he shouted "You're going to break my wrist!"

Ignoring his plea, I took the needle from his hand and held it in front of him "What is this?"

"It's to help with your headaches. It'll make you feel better. That's it, I swear" the Doctor panted and drew his lips back into a thin line, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

"I told you I'm feeling fine"

"I know you're not fine" he retorted "You fractured your skull"

What? Squeezing his wrist tighter, the Doctor let out another cry of pain "You said I wasn't injured. Why didn't you tell me?" I have a right to know. Was he keeping it from me on purpose? To sabotage my health?

"I'm not allowed to tell you, it's against protocol. I only inform doctor Krupin. It's his orders, not mine"

Glancing over the Doctors face as it contorted, I shoved him back and he clutched his wrist to sooth the pain. After he was finished, he looked up at me as I held the needle out for him to take. Hesitating, the Doctor grabbed it and tilted my neck to the side. As it breathed in, I felt the sting of the sharp steel as it slid into my skin. The cold fluid inside travelled through my veins.

"Alright" he said while taking a step back "You can go now"

Hoping off the gurney, I'd gone back to the sleeping quarters to get dressed for our next lesson in the combat room. It wasn't until I read the clock on the wall that I realised I was a near half-hour late. Quickly hurrying to get ready, I rushed to get to the room when the door opened and two people stepped out.

Leaning against the guard for support Ashley hadn't bothered to look up at me. From where I was standing I could see the string of blood dripping down from her face, her ankle is swollen beyond recognition and several cuts and bruises are scattered over her body. It's clear the person responsible was less than merciful on their assault to the girl.

What happened?

Heading through the doors, only a handful of the girls were waiting in line. The rest were either missing or covered in wounds similar to Ashley. Walking down to the end of the line, I stood next to Katlin "Where is everyone?" I whispered.

Katlin nodded her head to the two guards standing either side of the separate door of the private training room "The guards told us that were to go in one at a time when were called. They haven't said who's in there, and none of the girls are allowed to say"

I noticed Katlin's voice and body trembled a little when she spoke. It took me a minute to process what she'd said when a jolt of realisation hit me, it must be the Soldier. It's the only reasonable explanation; especially if he's supposed to be our new Instructor.

I didn't speak of it any further. Minutes passed but it felt like hours as we watched the same scenario. A girl would be called in and a few minutes later, she'd emerge covered in bruisers and blood. Observing, I realised that as the line got shorter, the more severe the damage. The last two girls both came out with some sort of bone broken clean in half. Almost as if the Soldier in the other room is getting frustrated.

"Katya" a guard called from his roster.

Stepping forward, I walked to the closed doorway and waited for it to open. As the guard pressed the button, the entrance slid open and I stepped on through. My eyes started adjust as the room was almost pitch black. Only the centre lights had been turned on, leaving the outside rim of the room shrouded in darkness.

I couldn't see the Soldier as I stepped into the middle. Carefully glancing around, I tried to find him. Looking around I tried to find him. Keeping my breathing quiet, I listened to find the squeak of his shoes or the shift of his uniform, but there's nothing. It's just silence.

A minute or two had past when out of nowhere, my body was roughly pushed from behind and I landed on the concrete. Getting up, I looked behind me but found nothing. I would have laughed if it were anyone else – he's toying with me.

Remaining calm, I kept my stance strong and this time I was ready as he lashed out from my left. Hitting me with several punches, I managed to block only a few. His movements quick and precise like a viper. It was like nothing I had ever witnessed, and just like that, the Soldier was gone again – disappearing into the darkness like a ghost.

Wiping the blood from my lip, he'd managed to flip the extra light switches on which temporarily blinded me. Shielding my eyes, I was again attacked from behind as I felt a solid boot hit the back of my legs causing them to give way. A shooting pain shot up my legs and arms as I braced myself from impact with the ground. Letting out a puff of air, I turned my gaze up from the floor. My vision came in contact with a pair of black clothed legs and thick military boots.

I didn't have time to inspect any further as the Soldier reached over and took hold of my hair with his metal arm. Pulling me up, I let out a whimper as I clutched onto his cold metal hand, trying to relieve the searing pressure. Dressed in the same military uniform, the Soldier still wore the black mask that covered the lower half of his face.

Plucking up the strength and courage, I brought my knee up with all my might to hit him in the stomach. Loosening his grip, I hit him in the face and watched as he took a step back. My knuckles throbbed from the contact with the metal mask, but I pushed the pain aside.

Not giving him the chance to fully recover, I ran to the wall behind him and used it as leverage to jump up onto his shoulders. Hooking my legs around the Soldiers neck for support, I could feel his fingers dig into the flesh of my thighs. Taking a breath, I reached and wrapped arms around neck and pulled back to slowly choke him.

Squeezing tighter, I'd hoped he would've passed out by now. The Soldier's resilient, I'll give him that. Suddenly bending over, I lost my balance and fell forward. Grabbing me, I stood with my back now flush against his chest. Putting me into a choke hold, the air immediately left my lungs. Bitter sweet revenge. A low growl emitted from me and I elbowed him more times than I could count, each one hitting his ribs or stomach but none of them making him falter.

Planting both my feet on the ground, I used all my weight to push us back hoping he would let go of me that way. Sprawling to the ground in a mass of flesh, landed on top of him the fall had caused his grip to loosen enough for me to sit up. Scrambling to get away, he came to and wrapped his legs around my own before I was able to stand.

Tugging me back down, the Soldier trapped me again. Squirming my breathing was beginning to decrease as I wasn't given enough time to recuperate. This is all becoming so familiar, like that time in the practice room. I'm going to black out at any minute. I have to think of something before I do. Reaching up behind me I went for the one thing I could think of – his mask.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

The crack sounded incredibly loud.

Letting out an ear shattering scream, the searing pain arrived a split second later; a white hot agony. The Soldier had dislocated my right shoulder. Whimpering, my lip trembled but no tears slipped from my eyes. There's no point in crying. There's no point in letting him see the vulnerable side of me. Letting go, the Soldier pushed me off of his body and I rolled limply onto the floor beside him.

I suppose the last straw was drawn when I attempted to remove the object that kept his identity safe. It was a weak move on my part, but it was the only one I could think of that might get him to stop. The Soldier got up from the floor and I groaned in pain as I clutched my shoulder. Peering down at me from above, he held a solid glare in his narrowed eyes. It was if he were scolding me on my crude decision making.

Taking in shallow and shaky breaths, I watched as the Soldier took a step back; signalling that the session is over. Grunting as I stood, I stumbled my way out of the private room. I looked over to the three remaining girls who waited for their turn to face the menace. Good luck, I snickered to myself. The Soldier's worse than I thought he'd be. Stronger. Smarter.

Katlin immediately joined my side as I slid down to sit against the concrete wall. A harsh throb had set in my aching bone. I'm grateful in a way. The Soldier could have broken it if he wanted too, but instead he left me with a small mercy. Looking down to inspect my injury, I could see the jarred bone prodding at a deformed angle against my skin. It's a gross site.

"You don't look as bad as the rest" spoke Katlin. She hadn't noticed my shoulder.

I nodded in agreement to her statement. Even if I have a dislocated shoulder and a split lip, I didn't receive the same brutal outcome as a majority of the other girls. Then again, I doubt any of the others would have tried to choke him half to death like I had.

Keeping my shoulder hidden as Katlin sat next to me, her red locks are plaited to the side. Her knees are up against her chest, arms wrapped around to hug them tight. She's one of the last three to go in, and unlike me, she has no idea what she's walking into. I would have told her if I thought it might have helped, but it's better that Katlin doesn't worry herself. She needs to be calm, not frightened.

Another half an hour passed as the last girls and Katlin had entered only limp back out. Defeat is written on all their bruises faces. The door to the combat room opened and doctor Krupin stepped in "Ladies, settle down now" following behind him are the others girls that had been sent to the medical bay "My, my, look at you all. Judging from the site of it, I can only presume you've met your new instructor – not an inch unscathed" Krupin tisked as if he were expecting more "No matter. I'm sure you'll put in much more effort in the future"

Moving to stand in a formed single line in the middle of the room, I watched as the Soldier creeped out from the darkness of the private room. The bright light shining down on his solid form did little to make any of us comfortable. He still looks formidable. A permanent shadow seemed to linger around him, following the man wherever he went. Standing tall, the Soldier is silent and still.

You wouldn't think that he'd be capable of having such stealth, considering his heavy frame and clothing. But never the less, the Soldier was quiet as he began to circle the line of us girls. Not daring to twitch or move a single muscle, he stalked down the line behind us; one step at a time. A slight rustling noise and click echoed out, the sound being deliberate; making some of us anxious of his next move.

Stepping back into our view, we all looked as the Soldier clutched a gun his left hand; the silver of his metal hand contrasting against the black metal of the weapon. What is he going to do? Kill us? Krupin stepped forward to stand a stride away from the Soldier. The doctors' hands are clasped behind his back as he looked at us through his glasses.

"Unknown to you all, today was a test" started Krupin "A test that determines whether or not you're worth keeping in the program. Some of you passed" in a flash of metal, the Soldier raised his gun and fired a bullet. A thud sounded beside me as Ashley's body fell to the floor "And some of you were unsuccessful. Very soon, you'll find out who those people are" Krupin looked at the Soldier "Continue"

We watched as Krupin left the training room. I admit, it's an unexpected turn of events, but it was bound to happen. It's illogical to keep the ones that aren't able to keep up. I don't know how many girls would be dead by the end of the day, but doubt it would be many. It's too early in the game. As the minutes passed, bodies continued to drop one after the other; Eliza being among them. When the Soldier had finished, he holstered his gun.

"Leave" he said with a gravelly voice. I took note that there's eighteen of us left now, including Rachel and Katlin. I guess the kill count was nine.

The rest of the afternoon went quietly, especially dinner. The guards on the other side were mumbling to themselves about where the rest of us were. They hadn't been told yet, although I'm sure they'll figure it out. Sitting down at my table in the corner, the seriousness of my predicament had begun to roll over me in waves. Today's happenings only served as a reminder to me that I needed to step up my game, or I'll be next to drop dead.

* * *

Once again handcuffed to our beds, it's now mandatory procedure every night. Drifting off to sleep, I'd hoped that I might dream of something a little more peaceful, but unfortunately I'm not that lucky. Instead the events of the eliminations today played in the back of my mind like an old cinematic recording; the gun shots becoming louder with every kill.

None of us except myself had ever been forced to take a life. The people that I'd known since a baby don't know what it feels like to carry that weight, at least not yet. Although I know they'll have to eventually, and sooner that we all might think.

Gasping into the night air, my body felt like a furnace as I began to heat up. Tugging on my cuffs, I pushed down the blanket and the cool air made me shiver as it touched my searing skin. Taking laboured breaths, I began to tremble as beads of sweat rolled off of my skin to wet the sheets. I'm getting sick, a fever maybe.

Reaching up with my free hand, I fumbled around with a bobby pin from my hair and unlocked the link that bonded me to the metal frame. Swinging my legs over the edge, I got up on two shaky legs. I feel so dizzy and my stomach is churning. Making sure none of the other girls are awake, I stumbled out of the sleeping quarters and over to the shower.

It's still late at night as I turned the tap on one of the stalls. Getting under the spray of water, I tried to cool down but nothing seemed to be working. If anything I feel worse than before. My insides feel like shards of broken glass as a hoarse cough raked my body. Spluttering, I clutched my chest as I bend over to heave a mass of red, almost black fluid all over the floor and half tiled wall. My blurry eyes narrowed down at the site.

What's happening? I know it isn't anything ordinary, but I'd never seen anything like this before. Light headedness consumed me as I fell to my knees and slid down to a sitting position; the wall being the only thing able to keep me upright. The cold water continued to pour onto me from above as my vision continued to go in and out. There's something off into the distance.

I couldn't be certain, but a shadow had walked to crouch down in front of me. Taking my chin in their warm hand, they wiped away the few wet strands of hair from my eyes "Katya" the figure knows my name, but it sounds more like a dull echo to my ears.

Squinting, I tried desperately to see who the person might be, but I can't focus. Another harsh cough raked my body making me bend forward. More discoloured fluid dribbled from my lips to streak down my chin. It turned the water an odd colour as it whirled down the drain. There's pain all over; like sharp stabbing and acid in my veins.

The figure shook me a little and called my name again "Katya" that's when I saw it, a glint of something shiny and silver to my right. The world was coming into focus as I looked again. It's him, the Soldier. Is he helping? How did he find me? Is he supposed to be here? A million questions ran through my mind.

Clutching my face in his hands, I instinctively leant into his touch as the cold metal of his left arm soothed my burning skin. The Soldiers grey eyes wandered over my body and face as he inspected me; trying to figure out what was happening. Finding the courage to speak, I asked "What's wrong with me?" my voice sounds weak and frail.

The Soldier didn't hold back when he answered "You're dying" glancing down at my lap, I coughed again. Coming to a conclusion, I was pulled forward and into the Soldiers strong arms. Hooking an arm around his neck as he held under my knees and behind my back, he carried me to the medical bay "Someone poisoned you. Why?" he asked.

"I don't know"

My windpipe felt as if it might close over. I can barely breathe, and when we entered into the deserted medical bay, I started to convulse. My eyes squeezed shut as I clutched onto the Soldier uniform. Black fluid dripped from my mouth to form a wet patch on his shoulder. Quickly lying me down on the gurney, he'd turned back around to sift through the cupboards and draws.

Coming back over, he tugged down my pants and pulled the cap off a silver pen-like needle. Stabbing in the top left thigh, his hand rubbed the spot to make the injection spread faster. It only took a few moments for my body to stop twitching from the convulsion. My breathing slowly evened out to normal.

Once he knew I was alright, the Soldier turned back around to collect several items onto the metal trolley. Dazed, my eyes are half lidded as I stared a wall scattered with medical diagrams. Grabbing hold of my right arm, the Soldier searched for a vein before sliding it in and attaching a thin plastic tube. Watching as my blood ran out into a bucket situated below, he grabbed two blood bags labelled with my name and attached them to an I.V stand.

Walking around the other side of the gurney, the Soldier inserted another needle into my left arm before hooking it up to the blood bags. I knew what was going on, but my energy had been drained. I couldn't find it in me to ask or say anything as the Soldier started the process to filter my blood; not even a _thank you_. All that I could really do is wait until it's all over and hope that it works.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Shifting as I went to turn on my side, the gurney creaked from my sudden movement. A sharp sting pinched in the crease of my elbow. For a brief moment, I'd forgotten where I was and that the needles were still in place. Slowly blinking my eyes, the lights in the medical bay had been switched off with nothing but the hallway one's beaming in from under the door. Sitting beside me in a chair is the Soldier. He watched as I tried to wake up from my small sleep.

Slipping in and out of consciousness, a few more minutes passed when I felt a firm tap on my cheek "Wake up" he said as I once again fell asleep. My body is somewhat unaware and I'm still not certain about what's going on quite yet, even though the answer is just on the tip of my tongue. Giving another firm tap to my cheek, he clicked his fingers above my ear.

I heard the Soldier sigh as he took out the needles and began to clean the room, making sure everything is as it were. Picking me up from the gurney, he carried me out of the medical bay and down the empty hallway. His voice is an almost quiet echo, but I can steel hear him speak "I know you can hear me. Pay attention. Keep this to yourself. This never happened" nodding slightly, I couldn't hold back the darkness that enveloped me once again.

* * *

Firing several rounds into the dummy, each bullet went in with calculated precision. Looking to my left, Katlin sat at a table disassembling her gun. Her face is contorted with concentration. Following the Soldiers instructions, I hadn't spoken with anyone about last night's incident. It I'm going to find out who'd tried to kill me, then I needed to keep quiet for now.

Slowly rolling my shoulder back, I tried to relieve some of the ache that set in. Although the Doctor was gentle when resetting it after our private session with the Soldier, I didn't want any chances of it popping back out again. Keeping watch from the corner of my eyes, I could see the man dressed in his military outfit standing next to the obstacle course. His arms are crossed over his chest and his feet are a little ways apart.

I can never tell what the Soldiers thinking when he's around us. He still hasn't removed his mask since the day I first encountered him. Curiosity kept bubbling in my brain as to why he wore it. Maybe he doesn't want to be recognised. Maybe it's a scare tactic, or maybe he's disfigured. Halting my train of thought, the double doors opened to reveal Rachel. I didn't pay her much attention as she kept looking me up and down with a sketchy expression on her face. Crossing the vast space of practice room, she'd made her way to the gym section of the room. Hooking her legs over the elevated metal bars, Rachel began to do sit-ups.

"Katya, may I speak with you?" I turned to see the Doctor.

Looking away from Rachel, he stood not far away from me; dressed in his familiar white lab coat and rectangle glasses. Nodding my head, we made our way out of the training room. On the way to the medical bay, I couldn't help but notice how the Doctors stiff posture. His hands are clasped behind his back with fingernail digging into his wrists. My eyes trailed further up to his neck where he had a red blemish near his throat.

The Doctor gestured for me to go inside first "Right this way" he said, a half smile on his face. As I entered, I heard his breath hitch and his tone of voice raise as he spoke "I just need to check –" he didn't get the chance to finish his sentence as I turned and grabbed his wrist. A distinct needle hovered a mere few inches from my face.

"It was you?" my eyes narrowed and my voice lowered with a hiss. Twisting his wrist further back, I grabbed the needle from his hand and kicking him in the shin. Dropping to his knees, I glared with an intensity that could kill. Clutching the Doctors throat with a tight grip, I held the needle up to his face "What is this?" I demanded firmly "Answer me"

"P3X, a highly lethal and concentrated poison" he explained "You should be dead"

"Unfortunate for you" I sneered. It would have killed me if it weren't for the Soldier.

"How did you do?" he asked "Who helped you?"

"You're in no position to me asking me questions" I placed the tip of the needle against the flesh of his throat and squeezed tighter with my other hand "Why are you trying to kill me? Did Rachel make you do it?"

"Rachel didn't make me do anything. I wanted to do it. It's the only way" he managed to choke out. My brows knitted in confusion as I looked into the Doctors eyes "She won't survive it here if I don't do anything. Not with the other girls, and you" his face turned into a scowl.

"If Krupin finds out you've been helping her, he'll kill you. You know that, don't you?" I questioned. The Doctor didn't say anything in return "What did Rachel say? Did she tell you that she loves you? That she wanted to be with you? As soon as you're not useful, she'll leave you in this place to rot"

"Look at you" he said while looking me up and down with a sneer "You don't even know what love is"

"And you think she does?" I pulled his collar down to show the red blemish on his neck "Because of this?" it's pathetic the state this man is in. Rachel has the Doctor wrapped around her finger "Romantic love is an illusion, clouding the minds of those too weak to see the deception that's slowly killing them. Love isn't anything, it's just weakness. Rachel knows that, just like me"

Sucking on his teeth, the Doctor replied "The I guess I'm weak"

I cupped his face in my hands "You're just human" twisting with a jerk motion, I snapped the Doctors neck and his body slumped forward. It's better this way. If he's willing to kill me, he's willing to kill everyone else. Now that Rachel doesn't have someone to do her bidding, she's vulnerable.

The door opened in front of me and a gasp slipped from Katlin's lips "What happened?" her eyes are wide as she stood paused and staring at the body at my feet.

"Why are you here?" I questioned.

"I was sent to get you" she replied "It's lunch time"

Already? I sighed before instructing the red head and grabbing the Doctors ankles "Come here and grab his arms. We need to move the body" I won't be able to lift him across the hall fast enough without anyone else noticing.

Katlin did as I told her to "Why did you kill him?" she asked.

"He was trying to kill me, and if he has the chance he would have done the same to all of us. He's been helping Rachel" maybe the bit of information would make her more compliant and in my favour.

"It was him all this time?" it was more of a question to herself than me.

Lifting up the body, we hurried down the hallway and toward the staircase; making sure that no one was around to see us. Pressing my ear up to the door, I checked for no footsteps before ushering ourselves in and closing the door behind us "Lift him up and push" propping up the Doctors heavy body as much as we could, we gave him a push down the stairs and watched as his body tumbled down the steps like a ragdoll. Hitting the bottom, I could see blood leaking from a fresh cut as well as his nose.

I turned to Rachel and pushed her up against the wall "Listen to me very carefully. You're not to say a word to anyone. Understood?" she nodded her head and I took a step back "Be careful who you trust from now on"

* * *

The classroom is a small space set like a typical American learning room with Madame being our teacher. With single seated desks in aligned rows, it's here that we learned the more mundane of things like languages. Speaking into the microphone mounted on my desk, I answered the question asked in Mandarin; the current language were revising. Writing down a few notes in my book, a knock sounded into the room.

Entering, doctor Krupin went to stand at the front of the classroom alongside Madame "Good evening my girls" taking off our headphones, we gave him our full attention "I've received unfortunate news of tragic accident. Our head Doctor was discovered dead, a half hour ago at the bottom of the staircase"

"Terrible news" spoke Madame.

"Terrible indeed. However, I've appointed a new chief in medical – doctor Yossiv" a balled and stout man stepped into the classroom and gave a nod of his head "Treat him well, and I'm sure he'll do the same" Krupin paused "That will be all. Back to your lesson"

Waiting until Krupin and the doctor Yossiv left, we all went back to our work. I took a moment to peek in front of me. Rachel's hands are shaking as she placed her headphones back on. The news must have shocked her more than I expected. Reaching for my own device, I heard a whisper of a gruff voice from beside me. It was a guard.

"Doctor Krupin want to see you"

Nodding, I rose from my seat and went out into the hallway to see Krupin waiting for me "Katya" he said "Walk with me"

The guard escorted us as I walked with doctor Krupin. Turning down into a narrower corridor, I realized that were heading in the direction of his office. It's very rare that were ever summoned there as it's was usually Krupin's place of privacy. Walking in silence, we stopped and he opened the door to allow me in. When I stepped in, the room smelt strongly of leather, paper and ink. The guard was shewed away as Krupin closed the door behind him and sat down at his large mahogany desk.

"Please, sit" gestured Krupin to the leather seat beside me. I did as he said "I know it's rather rare for you girls to ever come to my office, but I have some important business to discuss with you. I don't need the others to pry on personal affairs"

I admit, I'm curious as to what he wants to talk about; especially since it's so private that we needed to be in his office "What did you need me for?" sitting straight, my hands are clasped together in my lap.

"You have an assignment" he said while pushing a folder across his desk. Taking it, I flipped it open to see that it's a profile. The first page contained the basic details of a person named, Marcus Gregory.

Clipped to the upper corner is a photo. Studying his face, he appears to be middle-aged and intelligent; with short brown hair and hazel eyes. As I flipped through, I scanned over several documents including; receipts, taxes, bank records and other personal details. I looked up at Krupin "This man works for an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. Who are they?"

"It stands for Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. There a powerful group of people who've recently begun to expand" he nodded to the file in my hand "This man, Marcus Gregory, previously worked for us. Unfortunately he's been compromised and is now a threat. He must be eliminated" Krupin leant back in his chair "I know this must be a daunting task –"

"Consider it done" I interrupted before shutting the folder and getting up from my seat "When do I leave?" this is going to be my first mission, which means my first time going outside. I know Krupin will be suspicious as to whether or not I'd be able to handle it, and so I know this just another test I need to pass. I can do it, without a doubt.

"Tomorrow morning. You have a week to find and eliminate your target" he replied "Katya. Your one of my best girls, and I have high expectations from you. Don't fail this mission" I nodded.

I won't.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

It was early in the morning when I had to wake up and get dressed into a black leather jump suit. The clothing hugged my figure for comfort and mobility. Pulling on a pair of black boots, I attached a few weapons that had been supplied; a handgun to my thigh and two small daggers against my lower back. Heading out into the hallway, a guard escorted me up several flights of stairs. I'd noticed that the smear of blood made by the Doctors untimely fall still stained the concrete a slight orange colour.

Continuing up until we reached Base Level, the layout is much large as it's located at the top. Twisting and turning through a variety of corridors, I realised how secure the Facility actually is. With an abundance of fingerprint locks and camera's positioned everywhere, it's nothing like the lower level I lived on with the other girls.

Arriving on a wide platform in a large tunnel, there's a black van waiting along with Krupin and three guards, who are more heavily armed. Stopping in front of Krupin, one of the men held open a silver brief case and Krupin took out what was inside. Loading a syringe gun, he pulled my hair aside and shot the capsule into the side of my neck "This is a tracking chip, to make sure we can locate you afterwards" he placed back the syringe gun "Now, what's you mission?"

"Find and eliminated Markus Gregory" I replied confidently. I'd spent hours after the meeting going through the files and memorizing all that I had on my target. Searching through the information, I found leads on where he might be, but the most secure option is to follow him from his work place.

"Good. Remember, you have a week. No more" nodding my head in confirmation, I stepped into the van. The door slid closed as I sat in the back. The engine rumbled beneath me. The experience is different. I've never been in a vehicle before. Moving forward, we headed out a giant metal gate that lead out of the Facility.

Watching though the tinted windows, the world in real life looks surreal in a way. It's different than the one described to us in the textbooks. Things are bigger or smaller than I imagined they would be. I had to come to terms with the fact that, for the first time in my life, I'm no longer in the confined space of my underground world; where everything is dull and sterile. Instead I'm in a vast open space that feels as if it's _unlimited_ in so many ways.

Pulling out a tablet, I searched the address of Marcus Gregory's workplace; which is an incredibly large building that's hard to miss. I decided that the best option is to wait in the opposite building and follow him home, after that I'd find my window of opportunity. Continuing to drive for several miles day and night, we eventually arrived in Dresden.

Reaching the drop-off zone in the cover of night, the door of the van swung open and I climbed out to see we'd pulled up in an alleyway. A guard handed me a black rectangle case that held a sniper rifle. I don't want to get close and personal when I didn't have to. One clean shot is all it takes "Meet us here for extraction" spoke one guard before closing the door.

Watching as the vehicle pulled out onto the main road and headed further away, I realised I'm now on my own. Being so late at night, there's no one around which makes moving about easier. Using the shadows as cover from the street lights, I rounded a few corners; the building lights and neon signs lit the way to where I needed to be. Standing across the road from the large building complex that's the workplace, I made sure it was the right one before slipping into another alleyway.

Coming up to the middle, there's a scaffolding that leads all the way up to the rooftop. Climbing up on to the large bin beside the brick wall, I jumped and grabbed hold of the metal bar and pulled down the ladder. Ascending with light steps and the metal case in hand, I made my way to the top with the wind blowing through my hair.

The building adjacent to the workplace has a quarter-walled trim going around the square edge of the roof which provides decent coverage. Placing down the rifle case, I stepped up to the quarter-wall and sat with my back pressed against it. It's cold tonight and my skin shivered a little with goose bumps. Peering up, I could finally see the tiny speck of stars coming from the sky. Those were the last things I saw before I drifted to sleep for the remainder of the night.

* * *

Waking up, the sun had already risen and I could hear the movement and various car noises coming from down below. Furrowing my eyebrows, I shook my head. I'm not used to so many noises – distractions. Even when studying the world inside and out, it still feels incredibly foreign. I don't feel as if I belong in their world. It's not the one I know.

Sitting against the quarter-wall, the day passed slower than anticipated. Looking up, an abundance of clouds crossed over the sun every now and then; temporarily blocking out the warm rays. Reaching down to my belt, I read the small toggle that told me the time. It's a few minutes from four o'clock and there's still no sign of Marcus Gregory. Sighing as an abundance of loud chirping sounded from above, I saw a flock of white birds flying over. Their wings are spread wide and they look free.

The day began to pass and the sun is setting in the sky; turning everything a mirage of colours. Watching over the ledge, I held a pair of binoculars as I looked over at the revolving door of the building. For a few minutes I did nothing but stare as men poured out of the building in a mass of bodies; all of them dressed in neatly pressed suits. Now's the time I assumed Markus would be leaving and I was right.

Standing in the middle, I spotted a familiar figure dressed in a grey suit and vest as he waved his colleagues good-bye. Tucking away my binoculars, I grabbed the metal case and quickly descended the scaffolding down the side of the building. I can't lose sight of him. Following behind, I weaved through the several buildings and alleyways.

After studying the local map, it was easier to predict his path even before he got there. Walking several blocks, Marcus eventually turned left and entered into an apartment complex made of orange brick. The sky had turned dark by the time we arrived.

Standing across the road, opposite of Marcus Gregory's apartment, there's a similar building that seemed to be abandoned. Going down the narrow space that separated in-between the abandoned building and the one beside it, I found a window and broke the old glass with my elbow. Dropping the metal case in first, I squeezed through the gap and avoided as much of the glass as I could.

Once I was on the other side, I glanced around to find I'm in a torn apart living room; graffiti everywhere and a few bits of rotting furniture. Finding my way to the front door, I brisked up the main stairs in the hallway until I got to one of the top levels. Kicking in the door for the room that I needed, dust began to fly through the air as a musky wet smell entered my nose.

Grimacing, I stood in the living room. There's a window that looked out across the road to overview Marcus' apartment. Old yellow curtains draped around the window which offered me coverage. Taking my time, I placed the case on the floor and opened it up. Assembling the sniper rifle, I laid the tip of my gun on the ledge of the window for some stability as I peered through the scope.

I still had to find which apartment he lives in. Scanning each of the windows, I waited patiently until I found Marcus taking of his tie after walking into the kitchen. Shifting, I made sure I had a bullet in the chamber before aligning my shot. But just as I was about to pull the trigger, he'd moved out of site only for a blonde woman in a blue dress to replace him.

The woman was talking with a smile on her face. Good news I suppose. Suddenly, Marcus stepped into view and the couple shared a passionate kiss. Picking her up, he spun her around before gently setting her back on the ground. The whole scenario was bizarre until the moment finally clicked. Marcus laid a gentle hand on her stomach and looked down. The woman is pregnant.

The sudden realisation took me back to doctor Krupin's words – that Marcus been compromised. The Facility must have been tracking him and the woman for months. It wasn't the fault that I'd previously thought; that he didn't do his job or someone had discovered what he was up to. Instead, it was because this man had fallen in love, and now he's a liability.

Of course, it'd crossed my mind that killing a father to be is a heinous and horrific act, but I'd come to terms that everyone has someone; a father, a mother, even friends. The fact is, no matter who you kill, there's always someone in the equation. It's not my job to sit here and ponder on what to do or whether it's right. I was sent here to kill Marcus Gregory, which meant pulling the trigger is the just the end of a mission.

* * *

 ** _Facility Surveillance_**

 _A large room filled with monitors and various screens, Surveillance is one of the many important rooms that the Facility contain. It allowed access to tracking chips, camera's, controls and is also responsible for both giving and receiving Intel and reports nationwide to other bases "The Asset has confirmed, target eliminated" announced a guard sitting at one of the many desks._

 _"Good, pull him out. She's done her job. We won't be needing him" sipping from a cup of tea, Krupin let out the breath he'd been holding. He'd hoped that the surprise news wasn't going to hinder Katya's ability to complete the mission, and he was correct. Although, if things didn't go according to plan Krupin had sent the Soldier to finish the job as a precaution. Perhaps, he thought to himself, Katya was indeed the girl he'd been waiting for._

* * *

The next afternoon I'd been extracted from the alley by the same black van, it was days before we arrived back at the facility. After showering and changing back into my usual grey uniform, I made my way to Krupin's office for debriefing. It was short and to the point, the way it should be. Of course I'd answered with the news of my success, but I suspect he would've known much earlier than now.

Weeks had passed as the rest of the girls one by one left for their own missions. Some of them came back and other didn't. It made sense that they didn't waste time in taking out the ones that fail their assignment. It only proved that it was indeed another test. I'd noticed over the course of time since getting back that we'd yet to see the Soldier. He failed to show up for training. I assumed he must be the one to get his hands dirty if one of the girls couldn't manage.

We stood in the showers, getting dressed after another ballet session with Madame. A conversation had sparked up "Josephine came back yesterday. She's in the medical bay. Her target shot her through the ribs" obviously stealth isn't Josephine's strongest suit.

"Is she going to live?" asked Juliet; a skinny girl with mousy hair.

"Fortunately for her, he's a clumsy shot. She'll live"

Pulling on my pants, I don't think fortunate would be the word I'd use. Getting up from the bench, I ignored the rest of the conversation as I made my way to the mess hall. Sitting down with my tray I started to think. Katlin was the last girl to complete her mission, she's only been gone three days so she still has plenty of time. If Katlin's smart she'll do what she's been ordered to. Knowing the red head, I have a feeling her kind heart will her downfall on the assignment.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

The room paralysed as the Soldier walked through the doors of the combat room. He's finally back. Currently doing push ups, I got up from the floor and dusted my hands. Rolling his shoulders back with subtle movement, the Soldier took long strides and reached the middle of the room in a matter of seconds. I glanced behind his form, trying to see if there was anyone following in – there's nothing. That means only two things, Katlin is dead and I'd been right. Kindness did end up killing her.

Now that Katlin's gone, I noted that there's only fourteen left in the program. The numbers are dwindling and faster than I expected them to. We still have two months left, but graduation is getting increasingly closer. My gaze had lowered to the floor as I blanked out.

"Katya" snapping my head up at the growling voice, the Soldier had his grey eyes trained on me "Pay attention" I hadn't realised the other girls had lined up and Mira was now standing on one of the mats "Get into position. You'll be fighting today"

Nodding, I hurried in position and waited as the Soldier gave us a nod of his head. Ever since he'd stopped me from almost killing Mira, I couldn't help but hope for the chance to finally be able to finish it off. Through the last few days, Mira's been nothing but irritating me. She boasted about her target and the woman screamed.

Pulling my fist back, I went to hit her in the nose when she wrapped her thick fingers around my wrist. Raising my leg, I hit her in the side of the head while twisting out of her grip. Mira charged forward and knocked me to the ground with her heavy frame. Straddling me, she clutched my throat and I punched her in the ribs. Gasping in short breath, Mira closed her eyes in pain.

Grabbing her hair, I flipped our positions. The fight continued with swift blows from each of us as we both gained and lost the upper hand. Ending a decent half an hour later, I looked up at the Soldier. His cold eyes and posture is hard to read. Standing with his arms crossed, he stared at our bloodied forms. He signalled for us to get back in line as another pair of girls positioned themselves on the bloody mat.

Watching from the sidelines, the girls were vicious in their fights as we all ended up with bruises and cuts. Since training with the Soldier, we've become more aggressive and violent than usual. I don't believe it's a bad thing. Standing on one end of the blood streaked mat, the Soldier pointed to Abigail "You" he said while pointing his finger to the other side of the sparing mat "Come here"

Diverting from the line, Abigail walked past the Soldier to get to her side when he stuck his foot out. Tripping to land on her hands and knees, he delivered a swift punch to the side of her face. My eyes widened a fraction at the display. I wasn't expecting that and neither was Abigail. Since the day we were all introduced to him in the private training room, he'd never paired with us personally; let alone hit anyone. It's certainly a turn of events.

Kicking Abigail in the ribs, she had enough time to cough before he stomped on her back. We watched in the line as the girl cried and whimpered on the mat. Her sniffles and choked sobs echoed out "You two, take her to the Doctor" instructed the Soldier. Two girls emerged from the line to drag Abigail's body away "Katya" he called.

I took in a breath.

Keeping my distance as I went to the other side, I quickly got into a defensive position. Knowing the Soldier was going to attack at any moment, I tried to form a plan and be prepared. Lunging forward, I knocked his arm away as he reached for me. Taking a couple steps back, he'd covered the distance instantly and pulled out a knife from behind his back.

I frowned in confusion. This fight had just turned lethal very quickly. Missing the Missing the thrust of his arm as he went to stab me in the neck, I kicked him in the stomach. The Soldier grabbed my leg before I could pull away. Tugging me toward him, he plunged the knife into my thigh. Crying out, I muffled my screams as much as I could as he let go of me and took a step back; leaving the knife buried in my thigh.

Reaching down, I wrapped my fingers around the handle and pulled it out. The knife had gone in deep and blood trickled out of wound in a dream of red. Taking a deep breath, I twirled the knife in my hand and pushed past the throbbing pain. Even with my skill in knives and quick reflexes, the Soldier was quick as he managed to block of my attempts. It's starting to get frustrating. Anger boiled inside of me, spurred on by the pain in my leg.

In an attempt to stab the Soldier in the chest, he twisted the knife from my hand and slid the blade right between my ribs. Stumbling into his chest the knife went deeper and I sucked in shaky breath. I could only hope that he'd missed my vital organs. He couldn't be trying to kill me after saving my life all those weeks ago. But at this point in time, I wouldn't put it past him.

Tasting iron in my mouth, I looked down to see a few drops of blood dripping down the wound. I winced when he slowly slid the knife out of my body. Dropping to the ground, I stared up at the room with hazy vision. The bright L.E.D lights began to blur into one mass of white, and then nothing.

* * *

The first thing I saw after I opened my eyes is that I'm in a small room and lying in a hospital bed. An I.V stand stood next to me as it dripped fluids into my system. Looking around to the other side, I could see doctor Yossiv writing on his clipboard before glancing at the heart monitor "Doctor" I mumbled to get his attention. Startled, the balled man turned to smile as he saw me awake.

"Katya, you're awake. Good, good. I must go tell Krupin" before I could stop him, doctor Yossiv had fled the room and left the door open a sliver.

Finding the strength, I sat up and pulled off the heart monitor cords as well as the I.V in my arm. The sound of the monitor going flat had my skull pounding. Pushing over the machine, it landed with a loud crash and the sound stopped. Flicking off the blankets, I placed my legs over the side of the bed and gasped as a sharp pain took over me. It pinched in my ribs and on my thigh but I ignored it. I need to get out of this room.

Getting down from the bed, the floor is cold beneath my bare feet. Reaching the door way, I stumbled down the hallway and into the shower; leaning against the wall as I walked. I feel disgusting, as if there's dirt caked all over me. Turning on one of the showers, I took off the gown I'd been dressed in and sat on the tiled floor. The warm water rained down and the steamed enveloped me.

My eyes caught sight of the two white bandages, one wrapped around my ribs and the other around my calf. A small patch of blood seeped through the gauze and I winced. Reaching down, I unwrapped them to see I'd torn the black stitches beneath. Collecting some water in my hand I began to wash the blood away, but it wasn't any use. The more I wiped, the more blood began to flow. Giving up, I sat back against the wall. My thoughts and visioning became a little clouded. They must have given me drugs of some kind.

"You weren't supposed to leave. They'll be looking for you" came the familiar gruff voice. Looking up, the Solider stood leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. When did he get here?

"Get away from me" I don't want him anywhere near me. Memory told me that he did this.

"You tore your stitches. You need to go back" leaning up from the wall, he made quick steps toward me and turned the shower off. Shivering, the cold air had wisped past my damp skin and the comforting heat left my body.

"Just leave me alone. I can take care of myself" the Soldier squatted down in front of me and stared with his grey eyes. There still the cold steel that dared anyone to challenge him. Reaching forward to pick me up, my hand flew up and quickly slapped him in the face. The palm of my hand stung as it made contact with the metal mask. I winced and anger flared in me.

The Soldier gave a harsh glare at my sudden assault. His flesh hand reached forward to clutch and press my wounded leg. Whimpering, my hands wrapped around his hand as I tried to pry it away "I wasn't asking for your permission" he tightened his grip and the pain worsened as my whole leg seared.

"You're hurting me" I growled through clenched teeth. The Soldier's only making my wound worse. Letting go, he pulled leant in and picked me up from the tiled ground. He didn't care that I was wet or naked. The only thing he cared about was that I went back; whether I wanted to or not.

Taking me back to my room, Krupin and Yossiv were in a heated argument when they turned to see us. Krupin was first to speak "Soldier?"

"She ran away" he replied before placing me down on the bed. I clutched the blankets tighter to cover my exposed form.

He nodded "I'm glad you were able to find her" spoke Krupin as he looked at me "We were beginning to worry. You won't do it again" I didn't answer but turned my head away.

Lying in that same horrible bed, I'd been locked in the room so that it wouldn't be so easy for me to slip out again. Nearly a month had passed since the Soldier had stabbed me, and when I returned, he was nowhere to be seen. I found it odd how he'd suddenly disappear. Instead of being taught by our instructor, we were forced to train by ourselves and a handful of guards.

Growing suspicious of the Soldiers long absence, I'd asked doctor Yossiv on one of my recent visits to the medical bay. He'd told me that the Soldier was _impaired until further noticed_. I had little to no idea as to what that could have meant.

It was early in the morning when I'd been summoned to see doctor Krupin in his office again. I wondered if it was another mission, but it's too close to graduation for that. I'd have thought that it'd be an intelligent decision to keep the remainder of us girls together and monitored for our final weeks.

Approaching Krupin's office door, I knocked before entering. Sitting behind his desk, he looked up from a file of paper "Katya. You have another assignment"

"Its two weeks until graduation" I replied.

"I'm well aware of the date, but this task is very important and must be taken care of immediately" Krupin handed me a folder "Find this man and bring him back to the Facility, alive. This mission won't be like the last. Your target is skilled and intelligent. It'll take you the remainder of your two weeks until graduation. Of course, this isn't what we had planned, but I'm sure you'll manage. I know you're more than capable to complete graduation"

I hadn't opened the file yet. There was silence before I nodded my head "Yes Sir"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

 **Important note: After this chapter 'Survival of the Fittest' will be moving into Civil War.**

* * *

It'd taken me far too long to find this man.

After leaving Krupin's office, I read over the file only to find that it contained very little; just bits of scattered information. Known by the name of Nathan Mathis, he worked and trained with the organisation S.H.I.E.D. for a few years. Thirteen months ago Mathis disappeared completely and no one's been able to track him down until now.

It took me six days to find his whereabouts; a remote location in Thailand. Mathis only ever stayed in one area, and more than for a few days. He was smart enough to cover his tracks wherever he went. The first country I tried to locate him in was South Africa, Johannesburg. Before I arrived he's already disappeared; not a single thread other than a local's word that he'd traded at one of the markets. The second country I visited was Luxor, Egypt. It ended the same way, Mathis disappeared. It wasn't until I found a firm lead in Cambodia that I was finally able to get somewhere. I knew after that that I needed to move fast I'm going to catch him.

My window of opportunity is dwindling with every second.

Sheltered with weathered blue and green tarp to shield the people from the cold night air, the market place isn't far from the local village. Standing near the edge of the tents that made up several stalls, I stood inconspicuous to the crowd around me. Dressed in local clothing, it hid the black suit and weapons I wore underneath.

Scanning over the area, I can see several people bartering and selling their various goods. The noise all enveloping me. Walking to stand at one of the fruit and vegetables stalls, I kept a careful eye on my surroundings. If Mathis is as well trained as I've been led to believe so far, then he'll spot me within an instant if were to make the wrong move.

"Khun Ca Sux" (Are you buying?) asked an old woman as she stood behind the wooden boxes of produce.

I ignored the question in favour of my own ""C̄hạn kảlạng mxng h̄ā k̄ĥxmūl khuṇ ca dị̂ h̄ĕn chāy s̄ī k̄hāw p̄h̀ān thī̀ nī̀ rĕw «nī̂? K̄heā xāc ca mī pheīyng khæ̀ kār mā t̄hụng c̄hạn kảlạng mxng h̄ā k̄heā thī̀ s̄ảkhạỵ" (I'm looking for information. Have you seen a white male pass through here recently? He might've only just arrived. I'm looking for him. It's important)

The old woman looked up to think before nodding her head and pointing with her finger. I looked to see where she was gesturing "Chı̀. K̄heā mā thī̀ nī̀ meụ̄̀x wān nī̂ khn thī̀ xāṣ̄ạy xyū̀ thī̀ nạ̀n nı b̂ān h̄lạng nận" (Yes. He came here yesterday. The man lives over there in that house)

I nodded my head and plucked one of the red apples from her cart. I handed her the money for it "K̄hx k̄hxbkhuṇ" (Thank you).

Taking a bite of the sweet and juicy fruit, I walked away from the busy market place and headed up the hill; it led to a small square cement building with bamboo roofing. Secluded, it stood close to the edge of the shadowy woods which meant that it'd be an easy escape for if he needed to run. Shielded by the darkness, I made my way closer; careful to stick to the shadows. Standing behind the building, there's a thin wooden door that made the back entrance. From the small holes at the top of the walls, I can see a faint flicker of candle light shining through.

Shrugging off my outer civilian clothes, I was left in my tight black suit. Grabbing one of the knives from behind my back, I used it to dislodge the backdoor from its place. Opening it slowly, I placed the dagger back and quietly stepped into the building. There's two small rooms, both with beaded curtains as their doorways; which would leave noise if disturbed.

Peeking into the closest room on my left, there's nothing but maps and a few weapons. Walking down the middle of the small square building, I pressed my back against the wall as I neared the furthest room at the end of the house. The candle light is brighter as it beamed through the beaded curtain. I hope he's asleep. Grabbing my gun, I quickly flicked around the corner and aimed into the room.

He's not here.

Gasping, a pair of strong arms wrapped around my neck in a choke hold. Subduing my arms to be pinned by my side, the gun was leant away from his body so I couldn't get a shot. I scolded myself. Mathis knew I was here and that I was following him. But why didn't he run? Shaking in his strong grip, his chin rested in the crease of my neck so I couldn't throw my head back.

Squirming around as I tried to throw him off, I reached up my right leg and kicked him in the face from over my shoulder. Staggering back, I was freed from his hold. Turning, I aimed my gun in his direction when he grabbed the end and twisted it out of my hands. He fired and I dodged by a mere few millimetres.

Kicking the weapon from his hands, I jumped and rammed my two feet into his chest. Mathis dropped the fun and fell back onto the ground. He quickly recovered before bolting for the back door. Chasing after him as he entered into the dark woods, I gained on him quick enough. Tackling him to the ground the first chance I got, I straddled his body and punched him in the face. His nose dripped a stream of blood before he rolled us over and wrapped his fingers around my throat.

I gasped for air before grabbing my knife and holding it up to his throat. Mathis relieved the pressure "Get off me" I demanded.

"Look at you" he snarled while eyeing me up and down "They sent a girl to find me. Hydra's pathetic if they think you can take me down. They'll have to a lot better"

Mathis started squeezing again when I reached down and stabbed him in the thigh. He cried out in pain and the distraction was all I needed to wrap my legs around his head and rolled to the side. Squeezing until he stopped moving, it wasn't enough to kill him. Slumping still, I reached into my sleeve to grab a small syringe. Injecting the drug into his neck, it'll give me enough time to get him to the extraction zone without interference.

* * *

Pulling up into the tunnel entrance of the Facility, I was immediately greeted by the face of Krupin. He held a pleased look "Well done Katya. I knew you would succeed"

Watching as the guard's dragged Mathis' unconscious body from the van. It'd taken me a little under a week to complete this assignment, which meant graduation was only a few days away. Walking along side Krupin, we made our way to the lower level where I'm usually kept with the other girls

"I must say, there's been a few changes that've been made since you left" announced Krupin "The numbers in the program have depleted drastically. There's only five girls now, including you"

"That's still four too many" I replied.

"Like I've said, there's been changes in the program. The man I sent you to collect, he'd been put in charge of safe guarding a formula. It's why it's been so incredibly hard for us to find him up until now, but no matter. Now that Nathan Mathis is here, we can finally start the first steps of the next phase"

"What exactly _is_ the next phase?" I asked curiously as we entered the ballet room. The remaining four girls stood waiting; Yelena, Mira, Tatia and Rachel.

Krupin spoke up "I have a very important announcement to make my girls. Let _me_ be the first to congratulate you all on your graduation. Out of twenty-seven, you five have proved yourself to be the elite of the program. Phase one is now over" my eyes flickered to the doctor beside me. This is a rather big change "And a few days' time, phase two _will_ begin"

* * *

 ** _Lab 92_**

 _"Good evening doctor Pavlov. How are things progressing so far?" asked doctor Krupin as he walked through the steel doors._

 _The lab is fairly large and full of technology; everything from computers to advanced instruments. The walls are painted a sterile white and the tiles on the floor are coloured just the same. Sitting down at one of the stainless steel tables, doctor Pavlov eyed through a microscope and onto a glass slide._

 _As soon as the formula had been distracted from Nathan Mathis, Pavlov was in charge of synthesising it into the Serum they needed in order for phase two to begin. Pavlov adjusted the nobs on the microscope. He jotted down a few things here and there, and switched in another glass slide for further observation._

 _"It's coming along quite smoothly. I must admit, this is the perfect opportunity for my career as a scientist. The formula can do so much for Hydra's cause, if we succeed. A perfect coincidence we already have the resources in hand. Trained and lethal, one can only imagine the service they'll provide" Pavlov stopped and turned to looked at Krupin "Though you do understand, don't you? Surely not all of them will be able to withstand the effects. Death is a serious probability"_

 _"Of course doctor" Krupin nodded "I'm well aware of the risks, but I've waited sixteen years for an opportunity such as this. It would be a shame to waste it when it could very well turn the tide" he placed his hands behind his back "As for the Soldier, has he been secured?"_

 _"Yes" replied Pavlov "He's been wiped and taken back to cryo. Just as well, he was starting to become rather agitated" after the stabbing incident, the Soldier had been immediately taken into custody and assessed. With his current aggressive condition, Krupin didn't think the Soldier was fit to continued training in such a state._

 _"Very good. We won't be needing him for a few weeks. But make sure he's prepared for when the trials are over. We'll be resuming training as soon as the girls are ready to continue" Krupin turned to leave the lab when he was stopped._

 _"What about Mathis?" asked doctor Pavlov._

 _"Make sure he has nothing valuable to offer us. If he doesn't, then he's fulfilled his usefulness. It's a tight enough place as it is. We don't need our guest taking up any more room"_

 _"And when S.H.I.E.L.D comes looking?" asked Pavlov. There's no doubt that there already aware of the Nathan Mathis disappearance._

 _"Rest easy doctor Pavlov. The existence of the Facility has remained a secret for sixteen long years and it'll continued to be so, and when this is all over, no one will be alive to tell the tale" Krupin gestured to the lab "Continue your good work. I'll make sure no one else interrupts you. I want this completed as fast as possible"_

 _Pavlov nodded his head "Hail Hydra"_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

The material of the blanket feels rough and irritating against my damp skin. I've laid in this bed for what feel like an eternity. I'm suffering. The pain is like nothing I'd ever experienced before in my life. It was like my blood is boiling inside of me. I've tried to call out several times. I tried to make them stop and take the pain away. None of them would listen to my pleas.

It's been a weeks since the mission in Thailand. When we were finally informed of doctor Pavlov's progress, the guards took us down to the lower level of the Facility. They injected us with the Serum they'd created from the Formula Nathan Mathis provided. In the first handful of hours, nothing happened. Everything was as normal until the next few hours ticked over. My body started to tingle and my mind clouded with a haze.

Not long after that, I began to experience the changes. Sweat poured from me to wet the sheets of my bed. My temperature started to rise. I became agitated at both the leather restraints I'd been placed in and the constant pain. From that point on they separated us into individual rooms to keep us as controlled as possible. The four walls are small and concrete, and the bed is the only piece of furniture inside the boxed room. I'm completely cut off from everyone but the doctor or nurse that would come to check on me every so often.

My teeth grinded against one another as a wave pf pain flushed through my body from the tips of my toes and up to the centre of my brain. The throb in my head pounded with a sharp ache. My eyes were squeezed shut when I felt a damp cloth placed on my forehead. A nurse wiped away the beads of sweat. I didn't hear her come in; that's how unfocused I am.

Giving a sharp tug on my restraints, a growl slipped from my lips and the nurse jumped back in fright. I just want them to stop touching me. I just want them all to go away. Everything hurts. Kicking my legs, I shook my head against the pillow as I struggled. The guards must have heard the ruckus I was making as they rushed in to see what was happening.

"What did you do?" questioned doctor Pavlov with an accusing tone.

"Nothing" she stumbled out "I was trying to help"

Pavlov shewed away the nurse with a glare before coming to the side of my bed. Opening my eyes, he checked my pupils with a shine of his pen light. I started to shake "Katya?"

I screamed as all my frustration bubbled to the surface like an erupting volcano. Pulling my right arm free from the leather restrain, I pushed the nearby guard with my hand. His body reeled back to collide into the wall with a sickening crack.

"Get me out" I demanded as more guards stepped into the room to secure me. I pulled my other arm free and sat up. My hands reached for Pavlov's throat. I squeezed as hard as I could and I watched as his face turned purple and blue "Let me go" I begged.

I can feel Pavlov kicking his feet, his hands clawing at mine to try and free himself from my death grip "Katya" he gurgled out. I didn't stop. I can't think straight. I only know that this man is the cause of my torment. A sharp prick stabbed me in the side of my neck and I dropped Pavlov's body before I started to see black creeping into the corners of my vision. Darkness consumed me within seconds.

* * *

 _"I hope your feeling much better doctor Pavlov" spoke Krupin as he sat in his office, checking the monitors that held several camera angles._

 _"Yes, much better" rasped Pavlov. In Katya's sudden burst of ferocity, she'd managed to bruise the doctors oesophagus "We've kept her sedated for the time being to prevent further incidents. But this does make me question her future in the program. If she survives the process, there's no telling if she'll co-operate. Her mental stability will begin to deteriorate. It may affect her ability to follow orders"_

 _"If our own assets can't follower orders, than what good are they?" questioned Krupin "I believe a fresh start is in order. When Katya's able, I want you to start the conditioning process. It's a harsh treatment, but it's worked so far. How can you fight what you don't remember?"_

 _Nodding in agreement, Pavlov wrote down a few notes on his clipboard "I'll see to it personally" there was a pause of silence "I must be the one to inform you that Tatia died not long ago. The effects proved too taxing. There was nothing we could do"_

 _Krupin sucked on his teeth "Unfortunate news. From now on, take every precaution. I want a firm eye on the remaining girls" it's only a matter of time in Krupin's eyes. He was told from the very beginning that not all may survive, but so long as it isn't his favourite._

* * *

When I woke up, the light above me beamed brighter than I usual. I'd lost track of time after they'd put me under, but I can still remember the soft flesh under my hands as I squeezed Pavlov's throat. The moment replayed over and over again; a constant cycle in my brain. Shifting on the bed, the worst of the pain had faded away. All that's left now is a raw ache in my muscles and bones, like growing pains.

I can't move too far. They've still kept me restrained even though I haven't caused any trouble since that day with Pavlov. I suppose they don't trust me not to act out again, and in truth, I don't trust myself that much either. Since being injected with the Serum, nothings been the same. My thought aren't as clear as what they were. I feel paranoid, and I'm afraid of my new found strength. It's all so incredibly foreign to me; to not be in control of my own body.

I feel lost.

Turning my head to the side, I heard the metal door open "Good morning" greeted Pavlov. A couple of guards filed in after him and I watched as they unbuckled the leather cuffs and hauled me up onto my feet. I wobbled a little. Supporting under my arms, they walked me out of the room. It's the first time I've left. I don't know where I'm going.

"Where are you taking me?" I muttered out as Pavlov walked ahead of us.

"Were taking you for a test" he replied simply.

Continuing on down the hallway, we entered a room filled with electrical equipment and a treadmill. There's another small split room with a glass window. I can see monitors and computers inside. It's some sort of observation room "Stand" said one of the guards as I was placed on the treadmill.

Stepping hesitantly closer, Pavlov attached several leads to my temple and chest before shewing the guards and heading into the other room. He spoke into the microphone and his pitched voice made me wince as I looked down at the running belt of the treadmill "Can you here me?" he asked.

I nodded "Yes"

"Good. Now, I'm going to turn on this machine and I want you to start running. We'll start of slow and work our way from there. Understood?"

"Yes" the machine made a humming noise before the belt beneath my feet began to move back and I started into a slow jog. The speed began to increase and soon I was running at an incredible rate. My legs felt almost numb. It's as if they working all on their own. I'm barely breaking a sweat and I never felt the distinct ache in my calves even after an hour of running.

The machine started to slow down before grinding to a halt. Pavlov came out of his section room and began to unhook the leads from my body one after the other. My chest panted, but there was no burn in my lungs or exhaustion "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Fine"

Pavlov nodded his head before turning to rustle through a few draws. I stepped off the machine when I saw him uncapping a needle. Stepping toward me, I moved back "No" I said firmly. I'll run miles, but I'm not doing any more of _those_ tests.

"It's necessary" Pavlov went to reach for me again when I knocked him over. Crashing into a nearby machine, he fell to the ground with a crash. His hair dishelmed and his glasses askew.

"No" I growled. The doctor leant up on his hands and knees; a flash of pure fear in his eyes.

Barging into the room, the guards took a hold of me with a rough grip. Letting them cart me out the door, the doctor called out "Wait!" Pavlov got up onto his feet "She's not going back to her room just yet – take her to conditioning"

The guards looked at each other before nodding their heads. Shoving me down the concrete hallway, we turned several corners and I became lost. I was too busy trying to figure out what the doctor had meant. Condition? I've never heard of it. Whatever it is, I don't plan on finding out. Suddenly stopping, I pulled my arms free and punched the closest guard and broke his knee cap. I turned to face the other one. He tried to hit me with a metal bat before I easily disarmed him. I reached forward and broke his neck with a quick snap.

Glancing this way and that, I saw doctor Pavlov standing a couple meters way. He has someone with him – the Soldier. I don't care. I'm not the same any more. I can beat him. Striding forward, the doctor coward back behind the Soldier and when I reached him, I threw a punch. A metal hand encased my closed fist just before impact.

He twisted and as much as I fought to gain the upper strength, I was failing. Kicking my leg out to hit him, he swiftly blocked my attack. We fought against each other, neither one of us winning nor losing. Putting me in a chock hold, I elbowed the Soldier in the stomach and head butt him in the face. He stumbled back and I kicked him in the chest.

My eyes caught site of Pavlov and I went to approach. I wanted to finish what I started. But before I could reach the trembling man, I was yanked back by my collar. The Soldier punched me in the kidney and I gasped for breathe as searing pain shot through me. Coughing, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. I felt my bones grinding under the pressure.

"Don't kill her" commanded doctor Pavlov as he stepped forward. He adjusted his lab coat before nodding his head "Follow me Soldier, and make sure she doesn't escape"

The Soldier picked me up in his arms. My feet squirmed above the ground as he carried me a few doors and followed Pavlov into a glum room. It's bare apart from a large machine. Forcefully pushed me down into a black leather chair. The Soldier kept his hand at my throat until cold metal restraints clamped my body still.

The wiring of the machine I sat in became louder. My lungs panted for air as I looked to see Pavlov standing at a control console not a few steps from me "What are you doing?" I demanded, but he didn't reply.

The cold metal of a hand clutched my jaw with a bruising grip. The Soldier squeezed until my mouth opened. Shoving in a rubber bite guard, I bit down. Staring at me with his cold steel eyes, I took the brief chance to _really_ look – I saw nothing. There's something not quite right. The Soldier moved out of the way to stand back near the doorway.

The machine started to hum and move. A head piece moved down to rest just around my head and under my legs eyes socket "Doctors orders" spoke Pavlov as he pressed at the console "Bite hard. This will be incredibly painful"

For the first time in a long time, I felt fear.

* * *

 ** _2016, Bucharest_**

 _The windows had been blocked with newspaper. A single mattress laid on the floor with a sleeping bag and pillow. The apartment is small and a little worse for wear, and filled with only the bare essentials. Glancing around, the scuffed wooden floor boards creaked beneath Steve's shoes as he walked over to the cramped kitchen._

 _According to Agent Thirteen, this is the place where Bucky's supposed to be located, but Steve didn't see anyone else in site. Noticing a brown diary sitting on top of the fridge, he picked it up to flip through a few marked pages. There's a picture of Steve in his Captain America uniform wedged in one of the pages. A slight, almost inaudible intake of breath made Steve turn around._

 _Bucky stood a meter away, silent and still as he stared. He's dressed in civilian clothes and a jumper to hide his metal arm. Steve was the first to speak "Do you know me?"_

 _Bucky nodded slightly "You're Steve" he replied "I read about you in a Museum"_

 _Steve took in the information. Falcon muttered a few words over the inter-com. He needed to hurry before they go here "I know you're nervous and you have plenty of reason to be, but you're lying" spoke Steve._

 _"I wasn't in Vienna" Bucky defended "I don't do that anymore"_

 _"Well the people that think you did are coming here now, and there not planning on taking you alive" Steve needed to get the message across. The situation there in is dangerous._

 _"That's smart" Bucky nodded "Good strategy"_

 _Steve sighed "Why did you come here, of all the places?"_

 _Bucky stared. He wondered if he could trust him. Maybe, if what he read at the museum is true, he could "I'm looking for someone"_

 _"Hydra?"_

 _Bucky shook his head "No. Someone else" metal fingers flexed into a fist as he squeezed "Things have started to come back. I've started to remember. All the things I've done. All the people that I've hurt – killed" Bucky paused. Maybe he shouldn't tell the Captain too much "I need to keep looking. I have to try and fix it, somehow – even if it's only one person"_


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Slumping forward, my head hung low as I sat strapped into the machine. My jaw ached from having bitten the bite guard so hard. My brained pounded with a sharp throb. My whole body trembled and my mouth is try and I swallowed. Stretching my fingers as they shook a little, I tilted my head up so that I could see doctor Pavlov. He stood in front of me "Can you hear me?" he questioned with a firm tone while snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I nodded my head and the Pavlov wrote down something on a piece of paper lying on his desk. Pavlov glanced at me as he picked up a red hard covered diary with a black star in the middle. My brows furrowed as I tried to think, but the more I tried to remember, the more I realised there's gaps. Black and fuzzy spaces like static in my brain.

I started from basic knowledge. I know where I am, who I am and who the men are in front of me, but at the same time I don't. It's hard to describe. It's as if I'm believing in all of this only out of instinct instead of pure fact. The recognition is all automatic "Look at me Katya" I trained my eyes on Pavlov "Listen, and listen very carefully"

The doctor waited for a response that never came. Opening the red book, he paused when I demanded "Let me go" my gaze never faulted.

"Listen, don't speak" replied the Pavlov. I wanted to snicker. If I wasn't restrained, he'd be nothing but a cowering mess of a man. Hobbled over in fright. There's was something scratching at my brain, a memory that was trying to push itself through. I can't remember.

"Let me go doctor. Let me go and I won't kill you" there all enemies. I can feel it in my bones. I know they've done terrible things. I know they've wronged me.

Pavlov's throat bobbed "We will see" he said while holding up the book and turning to nod at the Soldier. I watched as he stalked forward from near the doorway. Stepping over to the control panel of the machine. He didn't once look at me "Now we begin"

I lost site of the doctor as he started to slowly circle me. My tongue ran over my bottom lip as my hands clenched open and closed. What is he going to do? There was a pause of silence before he the doctor spoke in Russian "один" (One)

A current of electricity flushed through me for a second. It was enough to render me speechless and breathless. My eye site went a little darker before slowly tingling back to clear "красный" (Red) another wave coursed through me and fidgeted in my seat, wanting to get away from the pain.

"Stop" I begged, my lungs panting.

I feel so helpless, because neither one of them listened "Девять. Выживание. Три. Главная. Семь. Святилище" (Nine, Survival, Three, Home, Seven, Sanctuary) it continued, one word at a time until I felt as if I might pass out.

Just when I thought it would never end, that I'd never be free of this torment – it stopped. Beads of sweat dripped down the curve of my spine and from my forehead. My damp hair clung to my skin. I feel sick to the stomach. Pins and needles ran all over my body. I'm unsure of everything. Unsure of what I did to get myself here. Unsure of what went so terribly wrong.

"Are you ready to comply?" asked doctor Pavlov as he stood in front of me once again, the red book still in hand. I tugged on my restraints as my thoughts scattered to the idea of escape. I should have him when I had the chance. I should have killed them all. The doctor sighed as he looked me up and down "Then we will try again" the machine wired up.

* * *

 ** _2016, Bucharest_**

 _They still stood in the apartment, the soldiers outside getting incredibly closer "We can help you. We can find whoever you're looking for"_ _if getting Bucky somewhere safe meant promising to help him, then Steve would do it. Time is running out for them and they need to leave before it's too late._

 _"No" replied the brunette as he shook his head "I need to do this on my own" turning on the spot, Bucky began to collect maps and bits of paper that were strewn across his apartment. He'll need these if he wanted to keep with his search._

 _Taking a few steps from the kitchen, Steve's voice held a pleading tone "Bucky you need to trust me" he said while lowering his shield "We can help"_

 _"Who's we? The government? Stark? I don't need their help, I never have. I'm sorry, but I can't trust any of you – not with this. You wouldn't understand" Bucky turned his head. Their right outside, getting ready to storm the place._

 _Steve sighed "This doesn't have to end in violence"_

 _Bucky took off his glove to reveal the shining glint of his metal hand "It always ends in violence"_

* * *

My feet dragged against the floor as the guards dragged me back to my cell. My head lolled down and I was limp in their hold. I couldn't fight back. Turning left, we came into view of a large and tall room with a caged area made of black metal bars situated in the middle. Opening the barred door, I was pulled inside where doctor Krupin and doctor Pavlov stood with the remaining three other girls; Yelena, Mira and Rachel.

"Good morning my girls" spoke Krupin as I was dragged to the line. Shaking me from their grip, I lent up against the bars for support. My legs are weak. I can barely focus. Wincing, the bright L.E.D lights shining above us made my head throb even harder than before "As of today, you'll be continuing your training. You may notice that you've gained new _abilities_. I want you to use them. No holding back" out of nowhere the Soldier entered the cage.

My head tilted up a little to see Pavlov standing stiff beside Krupin. Glancing to the right, I heard the doctor call a name "Mira" I watched as she got into a fighting position. Her fists are held high as she waited for the Soldier to make his move. When they began, it was sloppy at first; as if she needed to get used to herself again. The fight continued and Mira's punches landed harder and harsher, but she still wasn't able to beat the Soldier.

"Good" spoke Pavlov as he stepped forward to check her heartrate.

Still leaning up against the bars, I'd zoned out of the rest of the fights. But I could still hear them as they kicked and punched, or fell to the ground. Focusing up at the bright lights, I couldn't help but replace it with the image of the Sun. I want to go back outside again. I want to breathe in the fresh air and feel the wind in my hair. Grunts and yells filled the room, but I swear I could hear the faint echo of cars driving by the sound of birds.

Pulling me from my illusion, a guard had grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into the centre of the room. Landing on my hands and knees, I looked up at the Soldier. His eyes are still the unfamiliar blue as they stared at my hunched over form. To them, I must have looked so broken and weak "Get up. Stop day dreaming" came the firm voice of Krupin. Even when I could hear what he was saying, it didn't register in my brain. His voice is a somewhat unrecognisable vibration as I drifted from this reality and into another.

Turning my head back to the ground, I waited when I heard the shuffle of footsteps. Kneeling beside me, I saw the familiar ashy brown suit and leather shoes. Grabbing me by the chin, Krupin tugged my face up to look at his, but my eyes drifted elsewhere in the room "What did you do doctor Pavlov?"

"The conditioning process is long and taxing" he explained "It'll take some time for her to respond correctly" letting go of me, Krupin stood back by the other doctor.

"Continue on Soldier" nodded Krupin.

In an instant I felt a solid knee collide into my face. The force sent me sprawled back to lay on the floor. Groaning as blood tricked down my nose, the Soldier walked over to me. Grabbing my hair, he hauled me to my feet and punched me in the ribs. I fell onto my knees when he let go of me. I didn't fight back when he kicked me again. Tasting blood in my mouth, it leaked down my chin to drip onto the cement ground.

The Soldier was about to strike again when Krupin spoke up "Stop. That's enough for now" the doctors hand shewed and I was lifted from the floor by the same pair of guards. They took me back to my room.

* * *

 ** _2016, Berlin_**

 _After the endless waves of government soldiers and running past cars, they'd eventually been captured. Steve scolded himself for not getting their earlier. Hoping out of the black van, he glanced over to see Bucky full secured in a chair inside of a small glass cage. Steve approached a man who stood beside Agent Thirteen "What's going to happen?" asked Steve._

 _"Same thing that'll happen to you" replied the man "Physiological evaluation and extradition"_

 _"This is Everett Ross" introduced Agent Thirteen "Deputy task force commander"_

 _"What about a lawyer?" Steve questioned seriously._

 _Everett chuckled "A lawyer. That's funny"_

 _"I need to speak with him" spoke Steve as he took a step forward "Just for a few minutes"_

 _"You're in no position to be making demands. You're lucky you're not locked up right beside him"_

 _"Please" begged Steve "I'm not asking for much. I just need to talk to him – it's important"_

 _Everett looked the Captain up and down. He was sceptical "Fine, but only for a few minutes"_

 _Nodding his head, Steve turned and followed where Bucky had been taken for permanent residence; a tight and secure room made of concrete. Stepping in, the two men were left alone "Buck?" Steve spoke softly. Looking up from where he sat in the glass cage, Bucky flexed both his hands. Metal clasps restrained his wrists as well as his torso and legs "You could have avoided all this if you trusted me – if you let me help you"_

 _"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you" replied Bucky with a cold tone "I told you already, I don't need your help"_

 _"I just" Steve glanced to the ground "You said you were looking for someone. Will you tell me?" the beeping green light of a security camera caught Bucky's attention. They're listening. Steve saw what he was looking at and apologised "I'm sorry" it's the least he could do._

 _Giving his old friend one last look, he left the room without another word. An hour passed, maybe two when another man came into the room. Zemo. Bucky didn't recognise him as he sat at the table in a brown suit and glasses. Pulling a few papers from his briefcase, Zemo clasped his hands together and spoke "Tell me Bucky, you've seen a great deal haven't you?"_

 _There was a pause before Bucky replied "I don't want to talk about it"_

 _"You feel that, if you open your mouth the horrors might never stop" Zemo glanced down at tablet that's resting on the desk "Don't worry. We only have to talk about one"_

 _A moment passed when all of a sudden the power had been completely cut. The room went dark and the red warning lights flashed to give an eerie atmosphere "What the hell is this?" muttered Bucky as he looked to the stranger._

 _"Why don't we discuss your home?" Zemo asked "Not Romania, certainly not Brooklyn. No" he pulled out a card cover red book with a black star in the middle "I mean, your real home" taking off his glasses, Zemo stood and shone a torch down onto the open pages of the book. Bucky recognised it immediately. The source of all his nightmares._

 _Stepping toward the glass cage, Zemo spoke the words Bucky dreaded to hear "желание" (Longing) he'd memorised the words perfectly "ржaвый" (Rusted)_

 _Bucky closed his eyes and thumped his head against the seat "No" he muttered as Zemo circled the cage._

 _"Семнадцать" (Seventeen)_

 _"Stop it" snarled Bucky as the man continued; pronouncing each word firmly and clearly._

 _"Рассвет" (Daybreak) Zemo looked up to make sure that everything's sinking deep within the dark corners of the Soldiers brain "Печь" (Furnace)_

 _Struggling in his restraints, Bucky's arm wired as he broke the clasps to free his body. He needs to get away; far away. He can't do this again. Leaning up against the glass door of his cage, Bucky pounded the screen until cracks formed. He didn't give up even when he felt his mind slipping back into that awful place._

 _"Девять" (Nine) Zemo called "добросердечный" (Benign) Bucky struck hard against the glass one final time before it gave way. He's too late "товарный поезд" (Freight train)_

 _Falling forward, Bucky crouched on one knee in front of the man. Slowly rising from the floor, the red book closed shut and Zemo glanced over the menacing form that stood towering before him. Deadly. Cold. Ruthless. Peering up into a pair of empty grey eyes, he knew it'd worked. He's one step ahead in his plan._

 _"Soldier?"_

 _The reply Zemo received was plain and automatic "Готов выполнить" (Ready to comply)_

 _Tucking the precious book into the pocket of his coat, Zemo gave his first instruction "Mission report, nineteen fifty-three"_


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

"Святилище" (Sanctuary)

My fists clenched as I gasped. Staring straight ahead, doctor Pavlov came to stand in front of me; the rest book clasped tightly in his hands. Taking a minute to look me up and down, he reached over and took out the mouth guard. My eyes moved away from the doctor. I don't want to look at his way, and instead I stared at the bland grey wall behind him.

"Katya?" he questioned.

Pavlov studied me closely; waiting for my answer with a hopeful look on his face. I'd been broken. I'd been put back together. Over and over again until it's too painful to think or remember. My chest panted as I still felt the buzz of electricity tingling my muscles "Готов выполнить" (Ready to comply)

* * *

 ** _2016, Berlin_**

 _Everything ached._

 _Lifting his head, Bucky's eyes fluttered as he looked at the grubby concrete and dry oil spills. Flinching, he realised that he couldn't move his left arm. Looking over, his brows furrowed when he saw his whole left appendage had been trapped by some sort of device. Glancing around for answers, Bucky didn't know how he'd gotten here. All he remembered were those words, and then nothingness._

 _"Hey Steve" called a man in front of him. It belonged to Sam Wilson._

 _Coming around the corner, the tall blonde Captain came into view and took a few steps towards the trapped brunette who sat uncomfortably "Steve?" Bucky questioned while wincing._

 _"Which Bucky am I talking to?" crossing his arms over his chest, Steve wanted to make sure this wasn't a trick. That the man who's sitting in front of him is the man he claimed to be – the real Bucky._

 _"Your mums name is Sarah" he replied before giving a faint smile "You used to wear newspapers in your shoes" smiling at the memory and mention of his mother's name, the Steve nodded in response. That's all the conformation he needed, however it wasn't enough for Sam._

 _"So just like that we're cool?" questioned Sam sarcastically with a nod of his head. He couldn't believe with a few facts that's all it was going to take for Steve to think this is the real James Barnes. The guy from Brooklyn._

 _Bucky looked up at Steve and ignored Sam's remark. There's more serious issues to be dealing with "What happened?" Bucky asked. He knows he must've caused mayhem when the man who'd interviewed him spoke the trigger words._

 _"Enough" replied Steve. He didn't want to give Bucky the details. He knows that he's already feeling guilty about it all. Steve had to admit, it was shocking to see Bucky the way he was. When he first found him in his_ _apartment in Bucharest, Bucky looked different – lost, in a sense. Back at the government facility, while he was being controlled, that wasn't the man Steve Rogers grew up with – it was the Winter Soldier._

 _"God" Bucky said while shaking his head "I knew this would happen. All he had to do was say the god damn words" he bowed his head in shame. This is just another nightmare. Bucky thought it was all over and that the book which controlled his life had disappeared or been destroyed._

 _"What happened in there?" Steve asked, referring to the interview. When the power went out no one could see what was going on. No one knows what really happened._

 _"I don't know" Bucky replied._

 _"Come on. We have the whole government resources looking for us, so you're going to have to do better than I don't know"_

 _Furrowing his brows, Bucky looked to the ground and back at Steve "He wanted to know about Siberia, where I was kept – he wanted to know about the program"_

* * *

I'm numb.

Punching Rachel in the throat, she reeled back which gave me enough time give four consecutive punched to her chest and ribs. I can see the sweat rolling down her neck. Crouching, Rachel swiped her leg out to knock me down. Jumping up, I planted my feet back on the ground and kicked her in the head. She's weak. Grabbing a fistful of her hair, I wrapped my fingers around her throat and slammed her to the ground. Stomping my boot into her face, a crack sounded out before blood trickled from her nose.

Rachel clutched her nose to try and stop the bleeding. The girls all stood in a line off to the side. Krupin and Pavlov stood a little ways away as they watched with pleased smiles on their face. I've changed. I can feel it. My eyes landed on the Soldier as he stood in the corner. A pair of hands clapped together as Krupin spoke "Impressive. She's become quite the fighter"

My fists squeezed tight and my nails dug into the palm of my hand. Breaking the skin, the half-moon punctures began to weep blood. My lung breathed in and out as I watched Pavlov approach me. Taking my wrist in his hand, I yanked my arm free from his grip. Something isn't right. Back handing him in the face, he landed on the floor. I felt something blunt and hard hit me on the shoulder from behind.

Turning, I saw it was guard. He had his black baton raised high in the air, ready to strike. Glaring, I snatched the weapon and hit him in the stomach. The guard hunched over and I took a hold of his head and snapped his neck. Dropping to the ground with a thud, I turned to look at Krupin. I could see shock and fear in his green eyes. I could hear the other girls as they rallied to fight the guards.

Krupin took shelter behind the Soldier "Get me out of here!" growled the doctor.

I went to follow them when I a hand pulled on my shoulder. Taking the guards hand, I twisted his wrist behind back and kneed him in the spine; he fell paralysed from the waist down. Looking around, the Soldier punched one of the girls as he guided Krupin to safety. I ran toward them, but the Soldier had already closed the barred door before I could get there; separating me from the man I wanted to kill.

* * *

 ** _2016, Berlin_**

 _Bucky struggled. He didn't know what to do. His mind reeled a mile a minute as he tried to think. Should he tell them? Could they be trusted? Shaking his head, Bucky leaned forward to stretch the muscles in his back. They'd set his arm free so he could at least sit straight._

 _"This program, you were a part of it?" asked Steve._

 _Taking in a breath, Bucky leaned back on the crate and nodded his head "Nineteen fifty-three. They woke me up and transported me to Romania for an assignment – program Red Room. A secret Facility beneath a mountain. I don't remember much. Just that I had to train them"_

 _Steve nodded his head "Natasha, she trained in the Red Room"_

 _"No. This was years before that" replied Bucky "They didn't just teach them how to fight. They experimented on a handful with a Serum they got from of S.H.I.E.L.D's agents. The whole thing didn't last too long. They got too extreme – uncontrollable. They shut it down when they knew it wasn't going to work"_

 _"Then who were you looking for, if there all gone"_

 _"That's the thing. There not all gone" replied Bucky "Katya, she's still there"_

* * *

There here.

The metal door of my solitary room creaked opened and a pair of guards stepped in alongside doctor Pavlov. Leaving me restrained to my bed for a week after the riot, this was the first time they'd come to visit me. Staring up at the room, I could see the Pavlov's eyes flickering over nervously. Stepping up to the side of my bed, he injected me with a needle. I didn't flinch. Nodding to the guards, they unbuckled from the bed.

"Get up" ordered Pavlov.

Doing as he says, the guards grabbed a hold of my arms and lead me out of the room. Following down the hallway, we continued down the stairwell; deeper than I've ever been before. I wonder if it ever ends. Coming out of the stairwell, we walked down a straight and narrow cement corridor. It's dark and cold, and at the very end is a thick metal door.

Pressing the passcode into the console mounted on the left hand side, the metal door made a deep groan as it opened up. Entering inside, Krupin stood alongside two other unknown doctors in white lab coats. There everywhere. The guards let me go and I felt cold metal fingers take their place with a firm squeeze. The Soldier.

Glancing over at Pavlov, he fumbled over several control consoles right next to a large and tall cryo tube. There's several thick cables plugged in at the top and white smoke spilled out of the cylinder capsule. Krupin walked up to me from where he stood earlier. My body had begun to become sluggish as I slumped in the Soldiers hold. The injection from earlier is taking affect.

Krupin reached out and tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear "I wish this ended differently Katya. You are –" shaking his head, Krupin stopped what he was going to say. Instead he called out to Pavlov "Are we ready doctor?"

"Yes. Were ready doctor Krupin" replied Pavlov.

"Good, then put her in" he ordered before taking a step back.

I twisted in the Soldiers grip and used my large burst of energy to step toward Krupin "Why are you doing this to me?" I asked "What did I do wrong?"

Krupin was surprised before answering "I do this to protect you, and to save my work for Hydra. You aren't needed now, but the future holds many promises"

I squirmed "No" I shook my head "I don't want the future. I don't want promises. I did everything you asked. I am what you wanted me to be"

"And you're my pride because of it" replied Krupin "My legacy will live on through you. All the actions you will commit in the name of our organisation, it will be because of what I made you. Understand Katya. This isn't the end. It's just the beginning"

Tugging on the Soldiers grip on my arms, my body started flail as I struggled to get out of his hold. Krupin nodded and I was dragged across the room and toward the cryo tube "No. I'm not going in there" anger gave me the strength to fight. Elbowing the Soldier in the ribs, I knocked my head back into his face.

Clutching my throat, the Soldier shoved me down onto the leather seat and secured the metal restraint around my neck. Strapping me down, I was harness to the seat until I could barely move. "Look at me" I hissed at the Soldier as he stood, his cold eyes flickering to mine "I want you to see"

He didn't give away one ounce of emotion. Instead he stood back to let the other doctors take his place. Attaching wires to my body, I squirmed under them and turned my head to the side when I saw a black breathing mask being brought up to my face. Strapping it into place after a moment, they secured it with velcro straps; it pinched on my skin and hair.

Stepping away, I saw Krupin leaving the room. He wasn't going to stay to see me go under. Turning my eyes back to Pavlov, he stood looking up at me from the control panel. My heart thudded beneath my chest "Functioning at full capacity" Pavlov said while pushing and pulling levers and buttons.

Closing my eyes for a second, I snapped them open when I heard a loud beep sounding out. My hands opened and closed as I quickly glanced around the room. I saw the Soldier standing there with his arms by his side; watching me as the metal casing of the cryo tube lowered. My body continued to squirm. I don't want this. Everyone was soon blocked from my site and I felt isolated and alone. A puff of white icy gas was released into the tight surroundings.

Gasping an intake of breath – darkness consumed me.

* * *

 ** _2016, Romania_**

 _Zemo's efforts so far haven't been in vain._

 _Since the bombing of Vienna to the interrogation of the Soldier, he'd collected all the information he needed. The location the Soldier had given him was far off the grid and in a place where there's no sign of life for miles; just dense woods and a worn in trail. Rubbing his hands together for warm, he breathed out a faint puff of white smoke. It's cold._

 _Walking down an old and abandoned concrete hallway, it was narrow and straight. Stopping at a thick and large metal door, he saw the console mounted on the left hand side. Taking off his back pack, Zemo reached in and retrieved the red book he'd been safeguarding. Not long now. Flicking through the pages, he found the digits and entered them into the panel on the left of the door._

 _Taking a step back, the metal door let out a rusted groan as it opened up. Shrugging on his back pack, he shone the torch and entered into the dark room. The temperature is even colder inside of the isolated room. Searching around, he found the metal cryo tube and pressed his hand up against it. It's still cold and there's a slight hum of a vibration signalling that it's still on._

 _Finding the necessary console, Zemo wiped his gloved hand over to discard the thick layer of dust and cob webs. Pushing a few buttons, a wiring noise started up before the bright L.E.D lights flickered on to reveal the_ _entire content of the room. No one's been here for a very long time. The technology primitive compared to todays. The place has been abandoned and forgotten since nineteen fifty-three; just over half a century._

 _Turning his sites back on the metal casing of the cryo tube, Zemo referenced the red book and managed to figure out the basic controls of the console. Pressing one last button, the sound of gas puffed out before the creak of the metal casing began to lift up to reveal the weapon hidden inside; dormant until the day she's needed._

 _"It's time"_


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Let me know what you think, I'd love the feedback.**

* * *

 **2016, Romania**

I can feel the life flowing back into me.

My body feels incredible stiff and sore. Twitching my fingers, I still only see darkness as I tried to make sense of reality. I know I'm sitting. I know that it's cold. Inhaling a sharp breath, the mask over my face a hissing noise as I breathed. The metal casing of the cryo tube had been raised and the white gas spilled from the machine to evaporate into the air as it crept along the concrete floor.

There's someone here.

I wondered if it was Krupin or Pavlov. I wondered if it might even be the Soldier. Lifting my head as I slouched in the chair, my eye opened to see the blurred figure standing in front of me. It's a man. He's standing at one of the control panels, dressed in unusual clothes. The more my vision began to focus, the more of him I could see. Who is he? Where did he come from?

Squinting from the beaming L.E.D lights above, I saw his eyebrows knit together with a cautious gaze. His hazel eyes analysed me from head to toe "Katya?" he spoke. How does he know my name? I've never met him before. He's not a doctor or a guard. Taking a few steps forward, the man paused "You've been asleep for a very long time"

I wanted to ask how long, but I can't speak with the mask on my face. Shrugging of a bag from his shoulder, he placed it onto the ground before holding up a red book. My eyes narrowed in on the weathered object and my muscles tingled at the site of it. Squirming in the chair, I wanted to escape. Stepping closer, the man flipped through the pages before glancing up at me.

"один" (One) he spoke clearly "красный" (Red)

I can feel the pain of that machine; the one that surged waves of electricity through every inch of my body. My teeth grinded against one another. Memories bombarded me from all around as the man continued to speak the words. Everything rolled over me in one intense rush; all the faces that I've destroyed, all the lives I've changed and all the men that've hurt me. I felt myself being chewed away once peace at a time. I can feel myself losing – disappearing.

"Святилище" (Sanctuary)

The world is gone. It's all faded in the background and I have nothing but a tunnel vision toward that aimed straight toward the man in front of me. Closing the red book, his boots scuffed against the concrete. His eyes are staring right at me as he reached to unhook the mask from my mouth and the restraints from my body.

"Katya?"

"Готов выполнить" (Ready to comply)

* * *

 ** _2016, Romania_**

 _Making their way to a remote location in Romania, Steve, Sam and Bucky all sat in a four-wheel drive as they drove through the dense woods. The man by the name of Zemo had collected all the information he needed_ _to find the Facility, and he's now gotten a good head start since the incident back in Berlin headquarters._

 _"Are you sure you know where you're going?" asked Sam from the passenger seat._

 _The car rocked a little side to side from the uneven ground. Far away from civilisation, Bucky had led them to a faraway location where there's nothing but large mountains and uncharted terrain. Hydra certainly knows where to hide their operations, that's for sure._

 _"I'm positive" Bucky replied with a firm tone. Pointing from the back seat, he directed them to a small faint track that led through the trees. It was practically invisible to anyone who didn't know what they were looking for, but Bucky could remember "There, see that? Follow it. It goes straight to the Facility"_

 _Steve turned the wheel and got onto the covered track "This girl that you're looking for, they've kept her frozen for sixty-three years?" Steve asked curiously "Why didn't they kill her? I didn't think Hydra's the type to hang on to things"_

 _"It's complicated" replied Bucky "I'm not sure what really happened. I was just told the Program was terminated"_

 _"Then how do you know for sure that she's alive?" asked Sam "That she's really here, of all places?"_

 _Bucky looked down at his metal hand, the shiny digits flexing as he squeezed "Because I'm the one that put her there" he admitted with a guilty voice._

 _The rest of the ride was silent as they continued to follow the track. It took fifteen minutes to get rough the fallen branches and washed out pathway. Eventually arriving at the tunnel entrance of the mountain, Steve pulled up and they all climbed out "Lead the way" spoke Steve with a motion of his hand._

 _Continuing on foot, they shined their torched into the darkness as they descended the never ending staircase that went even further down into the mountain. The air smelt stale and filled with dust. Sam shivered and rubbed his hands together "Damn it's cold"_

 _With Bucky at the front to guide them, flashes of memory began to flicker into the Soldiers mind as he walked the narrow and straight hallway. It's nothing how it used to be. He remembered bright lights to lighten up the placed, and an array of scientist and guards. Now it's nothing but abandoned and silent. A tomb._

 _Stopping at the large metal door, they could all see that it'd already been opened. As suspected, Zemo had already been here. Still being cautious, Sam drew his gun as they entered single filed into the room. Flickering the lights back on, Bucky's eyes landed on the now empty cryo tube "She's gone"_

* * *

 **2016, Germany**

The massive place is grounded with swarms of people. They all rushed to get their flight terminals or make their way of the building. I've never seen so many, and all in one place. Things are much different now. The world is bigger and advanced than what it was. It was hard to believe at first. The man who'd taken me from the Facility had introduced himself as Zemo, nothing else. In a few minutes he'll be boarding a plane in order to get to Siberia.

"Take this" he said while holding out a card and key "Fifth Avenue, room twenty-one. Everything you need will be there" taking the things from his hands, I nodded my head and Zemo picked up his luggage "When you're done, you know where to find me" he gave me one final look before a voice called out the boarding off his plane.

Watching him leave, I waited long enough to make sure he'd gotten on the plane before turning and finding my way out of the airport. Stepping outside, the air is cold and fingers rubbed against one enough another in the pockets of my jacket. Proceeding to the location Zemo instructed it was a small and old hotel.

Jogging up the flight of stairs, I walked the corridors before finding the number I needed and unlocking the door with the key. Inside is untouched. The bed is made nice and neat with no other mess. It smelt of lavender. Shuffling through the apartment, I checked the draws and crouched to look under the bed.

Reaching out my hand, I felt the material of a bag. Pulling it toward me, it was black and heavy. Zipping it open, I sifted through to see Zemo had left behind a black tactical suit and a few weapons. At the very bottom are some separate manila files and basic blue prints. It must be wear I'm heading. After Zemo broke me from my prison beneath the mountain, he'd instructed me with a new mission – to kill Sergeant James Barnes.

Pulling out the manila folders, I sat down at the nearby wooden desk and studied the content. There's several profiles; members that work with the organisation S.H.I.E.L.D. My head began to throb as a memory tried to force its way back in. That name sounds familiar, it's resting on the tip of my tongue but I can't quite figure it out. It's frustrating but not important. My focus is the mission at hand, not on things I don't remember.

Keeping myself hidden inside of room twenty-one of the small hotel, a woman came everyday with my meals. I didn't let her see me, but she'd often try to talk to me. I didn't like conversation. It's not something I feel comfortable with. I feel as if I open my mouth, I don't know what might spill out. It's better if I just don't say anything.

Two long days passed since Zemo left for Siberia. It's finally time that I made my way to Leipzig Airport. The target and the others will be going there to board the Quinjet. It's the fastest way to get to Zemo in Siberia, and it's the perfect opportunity to intercept them.

Standing at the highest level of the airport building, I looked down through the large tinted glass windows. They'd had the place evacuated. It's dead silent with not a single person apart for the divided team of the Avengers and a few others. Watching below, Steve Rogers jogged out onto the tarmac but he didn't get too far as he was intercepted by two men in metal suits; James Rhodes and Tony Stark.

Looking down, I glanced at the small scanner on my wrist. There's three dots in the centre tarmac and two on the other side of the building; high level. Zooming out, I found another two signals fast approaching toward my direction. I don't know who they are, but there running fast. I briefly thought that they might have found me, but I thought differently of it. There trying to go around.

* * *

 ** _Leipzig Airport_**

 _"Who the hell is that?" mumbled Tony as he found an extra body count on his scanner "Do you know?" asked Stark to his friend beside him. Shaking his head, Rhodes shrugged "Friday, find out who that is would you?"_

 _Standing in a western stand-off, Rhodes, Stark and Rogers all waited in a poised position as Friday responded "I'm sorry sir, but her facial records don't match with any database" humming to himself, Tony looked at the scanner again and watched as the figure stood waiting in the lobby behind him. The same one Barnes and Wilson are supposedly in._

 _Steve tapped his inter-com on his left ear "Buck, Sam. Be cautious up ahead"_

 _"Copy that" spoke Wilson as he looked at Barnes as they ran together down the empty lobby "We got company" he announced. Slowing down, the pair came to a stop as they saw a figure clad in black. They stood still and faced toward them, as if they knew they were coming "Who the hell is that?"_

 _Eyeing the figure, Bucky found it to be a young woman on close inspection. He knew who it was the moment he saw her face. The way she stood. The way she looked. It all started coming back to him "That's her"_

* * *

It's him.

Taking out my gun, I fired a round and the Soldier dodged it with his metal arm; the bullet bouncing off with a small spark. Firing a few more, I watched as metal wings emerged from Falcons suit and he flew to kick me in the stomach. Knocking me back, I landed on the floor with my gun raised as I fired my weapon. The man soared through the air, dodging my assault.

"Don't hurt her" called the Soldier as he looked to Falcon.

"It's kinda hard when she's shooting at me" he defended with a sarcastic tone. Getting up from the ground, Falcon descended from the air to land on his feet; metal wings folding up as he did. My attention turned back to my target, the person that mattered the most.

Taking a few steps toward him, the Soldier didn't move as neared closer. Throwing away the useless gun I raised my leg and kicked him in the ribs, he winced. Throwing an array of punches, the Soldier started to react and defend himself. What did he expect? Stepping to kick him again, he grabbed my foot and yanked me toward him.

Clutching the sides of my face with his cold hands, I used the leverage I had to push my body up to sit on the Soldiers left shoulder. Grabbing the cable from my back pocket, I wrapped it around his necked but he quickly moved his right hand up to keep it from chocking him. I could hear him taking in a sharp breath.

"Katya" he muttered.

When I didn't respond, the Soldier reached up to try and throw me off of him. Pulling the wire tighter, his hand pressed into his throat. Small beads of blood began to weep from the palm of his hand as the wire dug into his flesh. I could feel the Soldiers body struggling beneath me, and then a wave of pain flushed over me.

Feeling my muscles seize as an electrical jolt ran through me, I looked to see Falcon with his arm held up. Using my moment of weakness, the Soldier bent over and flung me to the ground. Landing on the floor with a thud, my body laid limp and splayed out. I watched with tremors as the pair of men began to run from me; the Soldier giving me one last look.

It took several minutes for the pain to disperse enough for me to move again. Sitting up, I used my hands as support as my legs slowly came back to life. Standing up with a shaky breath, I stumbled over to the glass window and watched the fight that was being conducted below. It was a complete battle arena with explosion and crashes sounding everywhere.

Collecting myself, I ran as fast as I could push myself. I need to hurry up or I'll miss him. Whizzing down the corridors, I made it to ground level. They'll be trying to head to the Quinjet soon. Sneaking past the field of debris, I headed toward the large shed that housed the aircraft. Keeping hidden, I waited and watched from behind a large crate.

The whole building seemed to shake as a loud explosion went off, the front half of the shed was caving in until a red mist encompassed the falling entrance. Holding it enough for the two super Soldiers to enter, the background soon came crashing down behind them. I looked to see Natasha Romanoff reveal herself.

It's not time yet. Patience.

Listening from behind the crate, the Black Widow continued to converse with the two men "You're not really giving up, are you?" asked the red head with a solemn tone in her voice.

No one answered and I heard a heavy body fall to the ground. The agent had chosen a side; to let Steve and Bucky go. Moving out from my cover from behind the crate, I was quick to land a kick in the back of the agents leg "Natasha!" called Steve as I knocked the Russian unconscious. She should have seen that coming.

Grabbing the woman's gun, my gaze landed on the crumpled over form of the man in the Black Panther suit. He won't be waking up anytime soon "Katya" spoke the Soldier as he held up his flesh hand.

"This is her?" questioned Steve. He didn't make a move to lower his shield. I pondered for a moment how far he's willing to go to save the man beside him – his friend.

"Look at me" ordered the Soldier "I'm the one you want"

I didn't want to hear his voice. Raising the gun, I fired at the Soldier but the bullet jammed in the chamber. It have Steve enough time to throw his shield and I tumbled to the ground. They both ran toward me. Quickly getting up, I swung a knife at the Soldier. He ducked and I stuck again, the metal of the blade grating over his metal arm.

My head pounded again as another memory tried to surface. It was stronger this time and I lost concentration. The knife fell from my hands as I clutched my head. The men stopped to look at each other with a face of confusion. Flashing in my mind, all I could focus on are the images that began to click in the back of my mind. It's all so familiar. A phantom like pain in my thigh and ribs. I reached down to clutch the places, trying to figure out if it might be real.

The last thing I remembered is Steve raising his shield before bringing it down on my head, rendering me unconscious. From there, I continued to drift through an empty space of darkness. A void. I felt weightless as I floated, but there's a heaviness in my chest that I can't seem to ignore. It's hard to breath. I feel as if I'm being crushed by some invisible force, before the trauma of my body woke me up.

My eyes fluttered open and I turned my head to see that I'm inside of an empty Quinjet. We're not moving, so I could only assume that we're at whatever destination they've taken me to. Reaching a hand to the cut in my forehead, I felt dry blood. My mind is a little hazy, but I know that I need to get moving. I've lost time and I still haven't eliminated the target.

Finding the strength to sit up on the bench I'd been laying down on, I watched as a scratchy blue blanket fall from my body to crumple down onto the floor. Getting up on my two legs, I stepped over to the front of the vessel to look out the windscreen. There's snow, and lots of it. I know where we are – were in Siberia. The place I needed to be.

Sifting around the aircraft, I figured my way around and pressed a button to open up a gun rack. Grabbing a few things that I might need, I lowered the ramp of the Quinjet and headed outside. Following the boot tracks, there's a large metal door that heads inside of an underground complex; the entrance is already jarred open.

Heading into the structure, I followed the snow tracks that had turned into little puddled of water. Navigating my way through, I followed the signs that had been painted in Russian. I could hear the voices of Tony and Steve as I turned the corner. Stepping into the large open room with my gun in hand, I saw Zemo standing behind a protective window in a separate room.

"There she is" he addressed my presence and the others turned, including the Soldier "Just in time"

"Katya" spoke the Soldier.

I aimed my gun toward his direction "Stop" I demanded firmly. I can't handle it. Every time he says my name, it's filled with nothing but guilt. The sound is starting to grind on my nerves. I know what the Soldier did to me. I know that I hadn't forgiven him for one second, and I never will.

Stark stepped forward and gestured to me with his finger "That was you I presume, back in the airport" his helmet had been lowered so I could see his bruised face "Seriously" Stark squinted at me before turning to look at Zemo "She has to be what, sixteen? Seventeen? She's only a child"

"Don't be fooled Stark. Appearances aren't everything" replied Zemo in a calm and collect tone "Isn't that right, Soldat?"

The Soldier didn't answer and instead, he held my gaze "Fight it. I know you can" putting down his gun, he walked toward me until he was but a step away; the end of my gun so close to his chest.

"Bucky, what are you doing?" asked Steve with a hesitant voice.

"It's okay Steve" peering into the Soldiers eyes, I found those familiar steel orbs "Remember" he said and my brain began to pound.

"I remember everything" I retorted. It might not have been all of it, but it was enough "There all dead now. You're the only one left" my muscles tensed as my stance straighten. I was going to do it and end it all "You're my mission"

Grabbing the end of my gun, I pulled the trigger but it'd shot off into the air above. The Soldier knocked my weapon up into my face and I stumbled back. Gasping, I felt the phantom pain in my ribs again. Only this time it's different – it was real. Pulling me into his chest, I gripped the Soldier close as I felt the blade move inside me. My vision began to blur and my legs gave way from under me before I fell to the ground.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Another chapter! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 ** _2016, Siberia_**

 _It had all fallen apart and so now, they stood divided. This wasn't at all how it was supposed to go, this wasn't what they stood for. How could the Avengers manage to protect the world when they were flat out protecting themselves from each other?_

 _Everyone knew in that room, after Zemo had shown Stark the recording, that this was the last straw. There would be no going back after that. Steve didn't blame Tony for his actions, he just wished that Stark would understand that Bucky wasn't responsible._

 _After the fight between the three had ended, Bucky was left damaged, bloodied and bruised. The blast from the suit had almost obliterated his metal arm – almost. Left with a sizable chunk missing, Bucky was hardly able to operate it._

 _With laboured breathes, Steve had gotten up from his hunched position over Tony's shocked form. Ripping the shield from Starks suit, he staggered over to help his friend "That shield doesn't belong to you" spoke Tony "You don't deserve it. My father made that shield"_

 _Steve paused before looking up at the cement ceiling. He dropped it and the shield clattered to the ground. Tony's right. The two super Soldiers continued to walk forward "What now?" asked Bucky as they wandered the narrow, silent halls._

 _Steve replied with a sigh "I don't know Buck"_

* * *

I'd blacked out.

Staring up at the high concrete ceiling, I whimpered as I felt the sharp pain erupt in my ribs. I can taste iron in my mouth. Looking look down, I found the black handle of a military knife sticking straight out of my bleeding wound. He missed. My frowns furrowed in confusion. The Soldier never misses.

Laying down, I didn't dare move as I could feel the blade scrape up inside of me. It's close to a view of my essential organs and arteries. A centimetre over and I'd be dead in a matter of seconds. Carefully reaching up, I was going to try and pull it out when I heard the sound of boots approaching. Closing my eyes, I went limp as they approached. I could feel warmth as someone crouched over me. Fingers pressed against my neck for a pulse.

"She's alive" spoke the Soldier "And awake"

I opened my eyes with a glare. He stood crouched beside me and peering into my brown eyes. If I had the chance, I'd kill him now. It's not over, not yet. Glancing over me, the Soldiers eyes trailed down to look at the knife. His flesh hand took hold of the handle, and my hand shot out to clutch the material of his jacket. Is he going to finish it? Is he going to kill me?

Pulling out the blade with one quick movement, I sucked in a breath as my teeth gritted from the pain. Blood started to drip out of the open wound. Stepping into view, Steve Rogers nodded his head "Alright, we'll take her with us" he said before swapping position with the Soldier. Leaning down, he picked me up into strong arms. My vision of the world began to turn a little as I became disorientated.

Carrying me into the Quinjet, the Captain sat me in a chair on the side of the jet and harnessed me with the buckles "We'll need to make a stop first. Natasha's given me the location of where they're keeping the others" turning around, Steve went and sat down at the control chair next to the Soldier "Are you sure she's going to be okay?" Steve asked while nodding his head in my direction.

"It'll heal by itself" replied the Soldier as he flicked a few switches. Giving them a quick glance, I felt the engine of the jet rumble. The ramp closed up and soon we were taking off into the sky. I winced at the pain the turbulence caused.

Flying, I watched the clouds turn to grey as small drops of water started to pour onto the windscreen. I was silent as the hours ticked by. We'd made it out on the sea and the large structure soon began to uncover itself from the fog "There" said Steve as he looked up ahead "The Raft. It shouldn't be too hard"

Going into stealth mode, the Captain landed the jet on the large ship like building and pressed a button. The ramp of the Quinjet opened up and I felt the cold gust of wind and rain blow in. I felt a chill run up my spine. Getting up from the control chair, Steve walked past me to collect the rest of his friends from their captives.

It was quiet once the ramp door closed and I was left with only the Soldier as company "Where are you taking me?" I rumbled out, my throat tight and dry.

Turning in his chair, he replied "Steve knows a place. Somewhere we can lay low until everything settles down. They can help you there – fix you"

We stared at each other "You want to fix me?" I asked "What makes you think I'm broken?"

"Whatever they did to you –" I didn't give him the chance to finish.

"What _you_ did" I snapped "Or did you forget?"

The Soldier shook his head "Of course I haven't, but that wasn't me. I wasn't myself. I didn't know what I was doing" he defended. A crease formed on his forehead, as if the Soldier were in deep thought over the matter.

"You can't blame them for everything. You might think you've never had a choice in the things you've done, but there's _always_ a choice" I replied "Your friend won't be able to save you. _No one_ can save you. There's no going back. The James Barnes he remembers died seventy-six years ago when he fell of that train. What's left now is just – damaged goods"

A minute or two passed before the Soldier go up from his seat. Walking toward the side of the jet, he found a medical box and came over to me. Tearing a piece of gauze, he bandaged it over my wound to try and help with the bleeding and infection "I can change and so can you" he said "Even if it's the last thing I do. I'm gonna make this right"

Half an hour passed before the ramp of the jet opened up. Stepping on board are a handful people. I've read all of their files. I know everything about them. Steve had redressed out of his captain uniform and into something more casual. Sitting back down at the main control chair, the others all looked toward me as the ramp closed and the engine of the jet began to rumble for take-off.

"Well, this is awkward" spoke Scott Land as he sat on the other side staring at me.

Falcon gave me a displeased look "No offence, but why are you here?"

Steve flicked a few switched on the control console "She's coming with us" he answered.

Falcon shook his head "You're joking right? I mean you're not seriously going to let her stay anywhere near us. She'll kill us the first chance she gets"

"She's a security threat, I know" replied Steve "But we can't trust anyone else. I can't let her fall back into the hands of Hydra"

The captain would have been right had it been sixty-three years ago, but the times and circumstances have all changed. The people who once trained and cared for me are long gone. Even if I completed my mission and managed to escaped, I wouldn't know where to go. As far as I'm concerned, I'm alone in the world. There's only one person alive who could even remotely link me back to my old life, but after what I've seen – I don't think the Soldiers the same person I remember.

"Hydra doesn't even know she exists" replied Flacon "She's a trained assassin who's been brainwashed her whole life. You should have left her on the Raft when you had the chance. At least there she can't hurt anyone. Maybe they could have helped her"

"Like they were going help Bucky?" retorted Steve with a cold tone. The captain sighed before the Quinjet went silent. It was a tense moment among the group.

My brows suddenly furrowed when I felt a warm tingle inside of my brain. It was small and faint, but I could still feel it. It was like a wave on subtle invasion, as if I weren't alone. It only took me a moment to realise who it was coming from before I turned to look at the enhanced. The brunette quickly looked away from me and the feeling stopped.

Bowing my head, I stared at the metal floor as we flew day and night. It was a long journey in relative silence. No one wanted to speak even though they all wanted to. It was mid-day as the sun shined down us. A light mist hovered on the air above the thick mass of jungle below us. We'd headed to somewhere remote. It was a smart idea.

"Where here" spoke Steve.

Landing the Quinjet on the instructed platform, the ramp lowered and the group began to walk down one by one. Steve came over to me and started to unbuckle me from the harness. Grabbing my arm with a firm grip, the Soldier stood by my other side as we walked down to stand out in the sun. We were instantly greeted by a familiar looking face.

"Welcome to Wakanda" spoke T'Challa.

"Thank you for giving us refuge you're Highness" replied Steve.

T'Challa gestured to a small escort team as they approached us "Please, my people will take her from here"

Two buff looking men stepped close before seizing my wrists and ankles with thick metal cuffs made out of Vibranium. Switching places with Steve and the Soldier, the guards led me away and into the modern looking building with large glass walled windows that viewed out to the jungle.

Passing down several halls, we ended up walking past several labs and scientists in their lab coats. This was no doubt a facility of some kind for their medical research; most likely bio-weaponry. Turning into a medium sized room, the walls are covered a sickly white and there's a single chair with built in restraints centred in the middle of the room; it faced a two way mirror.

Sitting me down on the chair, my feet were propped up on a metal plate below as I heard the solid click of the restraints as they wrapped around my ankles. Placing my arms on the arm rest either side of me, they too were cuffed into place. It didn't take the guards long to finish harnessing me in until was barely able to move. It felt eerily uncomfortable.

The guards left and I stared at my reflection through the two way mirror. Taking a quick glance around, I saw the few bits of technology; some of which I'd never seen before. Hydra never had things that looked like that "I hope your comfortable Katya" spoke T'Challa as the two way mirror faded to clear. I can see him now "I'm not here to harm you"

"The Soldier wants to fix me" I said. I remember the last time he tried to do that; when he strapped me into that machine and took it all away with a flick of a switch.

"Yes, he wants to help you. You've been brought to a safe place Katya. Away from the people who've caused you pain" replied T'Challa. Is he trying to tell me I'm free?

"Not yet" I replied "It'll never be safe, and there not all gone"

T'Challa nodded his head "James Barnes"

"My mission"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 _It's been three days since the team had arrived to the safety of Wakanda. In that span of time, Clint had gone back to his family while the rest stayed in hiding. T'Challa had even appointed people to fix Bucky's arm and it's now back to full function._

 _Sitting in a room with a long wooden desk, Rogers had called a small meeting with the rest of the group. Now that they've settled in, it's time they discuss a serious matter "Is there anything you can do to help her?" asked Steve while looking at the Prince. He's the only one with the resources and willingness to help._

 _T'Challa nodded his head "I've spoken with my leading Doctor. He says there may be a way to reverse the damage that's been done, but it won't be easy" he glanced at Bucky. Since finding him innocent in Siberia, the Prince felt guilty of the things he'd done and almost did._

 _"I can help her too" replied Wanda "I can look into her mind. I know how she feels and thinks. It might be useful if she can remember her old memories"_

 _"That's what I'm worried about" spoke Steve "Katya's not like Bucky. She doesn't have a past she can go back to, or memories she would want to remember"_

 _It would be difficult getting a response out of Katya that wouldn't be one of anger and violence. Unlike Bucky, the team has nothing to work with; nothing to really help her recover. All she knows is the life that Hydra had taught, and that wasn't one the team could accept._

 _Looking over to his friend, Steve wondered why Bucky was so silent "Buck?" since they'd sat down, he hadn't said a single word. Steve thought he would've had at least one thing to say in the matter. After all, Bucky knows her better than anyone else in the room._

 _With a crease in his brow, the brunette sat with a dull look in his eye; as if he were remembering a bad moment "I can't" he said before getting up from his seat and leaving the room. The others were a little shocked at the sudden turn in events. Steve excused himself with a slight cough before following after his friend._

 _Turning a few corners, Steve found Bucky standing outside on a veranda. Leaning on the railing, he looked out onto the forest. Approaching, the blonde stood beside him for a moment before asking "What's wrong?"_

 _Bucky answered with a defeated sigh "I can't do it. I can't help her" he hadn't forgotten that moment on the Quinjet. What Katya had said him was slowly eating away at his conscience. Even after telling her he'd do anything to make it right._

 _Steve stared with confusion "Why not?"_

 _"How am I supposed to help her when I can't even help myself?"_

 _"What are you talking about?" questioned Steve "Buck, that's behind you now. You're not Hydra's weapon anymore. If you were, I wouldn't be here"_

 _"What if that's just it?" he retorted "You might not be dead now, but what happens if I flip back? What if something sets me off and I start killing again? They messed with my head just like they did hers. I don't know what I'm capable of – I don't want to hurt anyone" Bucky sighed "She's right Steve. I'm not the Bucky you remember"_

* * *

Sitting on the metal chair with my eyes closed, my whole body is still and a little sore. During the last couple of days, they'd cleaned my wounds and dressed me into a pale blue uniform similar to the one I wore in the Facility. Since waking up from the cryo, I'd gotten very little rest and I was trying to fit in as much as possible; but it's hard when I'm constantly being watched.

"Are you going to stare at me all day?" I asked as I felt an intense glare through the observation window.

My eyes opened to see Steve standing with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't look to pleased "What did you say to him?" he asked with a cold tone.

"You need to be more specific"

The muscled in his jaw went taught as he shifted on the spot "I'm talking about Bucky. You said something to him and I want to know what it was"

I know the captain is protective over his friend. Like me, the Soldiers the last link he has to his old life. But I wonder how he could still care for a man that's committed so many wrongs "I told him what no one else would – the truth" I replied.

"That isn't the truth and you know it. If it was then he would have killed you and everyone else back in Siberia"

"Don't be so quick to put it past him yet. He still has plenty of time to kill us all, and that's if I don't get to him first" I watched as Steve relaxed his arms to his side. Something had clicked inside of him but it was interrupted by a guard. He whispered something to the captain before they both left. It's only a matter of time.

* * *

 _Standing in the middle of the hall way, Wanda was just on her way to her room when she'd been stopped by the last person she expected to see "What are you doing here?" she asked with her brows pulled together. Somehow Vision had managed to find their location and now he was standing right here in front of her._

 _"Mister Stark requests that I take you home" the humanoid responded._

 _Wanda shook her head in protest. She thought she'd made it perfectly clear "I'm not going back there. He locked me in my room and then left me in a prison" there's a scowl on her face, but it isn't directed toward Vision._

 _"Yes. Although that wasn't Mister Stark's intentions, I understand it was for your own protection as well as that of civilians" Vision replied as he tried to reason with the women._

 _Crossing her arms in defiance, Wanda took a step back "You can leave vision. I'm not going with you. This is where I belong now" her place is here with the Captain as well as the others. Stark had betrayed her too many times for Wanda to change her mind otherwise._

 _Steve came to a halt behind Vision and the humanoid turned to greet him "Captain Rogers"_

 _"What are you doing here?"_

* * *

The doctor approached wearing a white lab coat. Wheeling the trolley behind him, a buff man stood guard by the doorway. Coming up beside me on the left, the doctor gave me a quick look before turning to the metal trolley; which contained a few syringed and bottles of unknown clear liquid, as well as other supplies.

Watching the Doctor approach through the door, I looked him up and down. Wearing a white lab coat, he had dark skin and short brown hair. Wheeling the steel trolley behind him, he nodded for the single guard to stand watch in the corner. Coming up beside me on my left, he gave me a look before turning to the trolley; which I had noticed, contained a few syringes and bottles of unknown liquid, as well as other supplies.

The doctor didn't speak a word as he lifted the bottom of my blue top. Looking at the faint scars that littered my body along with the recent one I'd obtained on my lower ribs, he nodded to himself before pulling my shirt back down. Writing on the clipboard he had in his hand, the doctor placed it down before tightening a tourniquet just above the crease of my elbow.

Tapping a few time, he pressed his fingers into my flesh as he searched for a vein. The doctor stood with an obstructive view toward the guard. It's the perfect opportunity. Pulling my wrist against the metal restraint, I gritted my teeth when my thumb broke. I could feel the sharp tip of the needle puncture my skin when I punched the doctor in the face and pulled him down into a choke hold.

"Toss your gun and do as I tell you, or he dies" I told the guard who'd stepped forward with his weapon raised. The doctor struggled in my hold as he yelled in a foreign language. The guard placed his gun on the floor "Now get me out of here" he was hesitant as he moved "Hurry up"

Pressing a few buttons, the latches unlocked and snapped the doctors' neck before grabbing a scalpel from the trolley and slashing the guards' throat. Clutching the open wound, the buff man gargled as blood oozed. Falling to the ground, a puddle of crimson quickly formed around him. Discarding the weapon, I patted down the guard and found the key card for the room.

Opening the door, I jogged out and down the hallway. Avoiding anyone that walked passed, I know it'll only be matter of time before the place is swarming with guards. I didn't miss the security camera's that are in the room and everywhere else in this place. Memorising the way we came in to the building when we first arrived, I navigated my way around; trying to find the Soldier and a way out of this place.

The complex is much larger than I thought as I followed signs. Nearing a corner, I pressed my back up against the wall as I heard voices. I assumed it to be a small group of guards "Phantsi apha. Musa ukubulala kwakhe Prince ufuna ephila" (Down here. Don't kill her the Prince wants her alive)

Waiting until they got close enough, I jumped around the corner and knocked the first man unconscious. There's only three of them left. Taking the weapon from the man's holster, I shot two of the guards in the leg and shoulder. Turning to the last, he stood holding a gun of his own despite being told that he's to take me alive.

"Yeka. Beka phantsi isixhobo sakho. Ndiza ayifunayo umva" (Stop. Put down your weapon. I'm taking you back) spoke the guard.

My head tilted a little to the side as I took step forward. Firing a bullet, it hit him straight in the forehead before he slowly fell to the ground; his eyes rolling up into his head. Not wasting anymore time, I continued down the hall when I saw the Soldier walking in my direction. Pulling the trigger, I emptied the rounds until the gun was knocked from my hand.

Punching the Soldier in the face, I kicked him in the ribs. Tackling me to the ground, we rolled on the floor in a constant fight before he pinned my arms above my head. His heavy weight straddled me and I kneed him in the groin. Flipping onto my stomach I crawled to reach the gun when I was dragged away by the legs.

Turning in the Soldiers grip, I kicked him in the stomach and got up onto my feet. Swinging punches and kicking my legs, he dodged most of them. Threading his fingers into my loose hair, my teeth grinded on another. Wrapping his thick arms around me, my back pressed up against his chest as I elbowed him and threw my head back.

Dropping onto to my knees, the gun was right there and I quickly grabbed it. Turning, I aimed right at his forehead as he stood only a step away. Pulling the trigger, my breath hitched in my legs. Nothing happened. There's no bullets. Pulling the trigger two more times, the shock wore off and the Soldier backhanded me with firm force.

Tumbling to the ground, my lip had split and I tasted iron. Taking deep breaths, the Soldier loomed over me; the light from above casting a looming shadow over him. The site sent chills down my spine "Well done Soldier" I mocked "You've cheated death – but only for now"

"Bucky, stop!" came the urgent voice of Steve, as he stood not far from us. The rest of the team stood behind him, including the Prince and the humanoid looking man.

"Damn" mumbled Falcon "Remind me never to get on their bad side"

* * *

 _Standing in the observation room, Steve had his arms crossed again as he looked through the screen. With the help of a group guards including the Soldier, Katya was relocated back to her room and away from any harm she may cause. The two way mirror had been turned back to black and the audio had been silenced._

 _"I don't know what to do" mumbled Steve._

 _Vision stood next to the captain "It's a human's basic instinct to try and escape captivity. Therefore, I don't believe it should be punished"_

 _Steve watched Katya through the screen "I don't blame her for trying to escape. She's been a captive her whole life. But that doesn't excuse the fact she almost killed Bucky"_

 _Vision replied "I agree. Only I do wonder. How can you excuse the action of your friend, but not the ones of this women? They're much alike, even if you refuse to believe it"_

 _Steve sighed. Vision's right. It isn't fair to discriminate the two. He glanced toward Vision as he watched through the screen "So, what are you preposing?"_

 _"That it may be wise you allow Mister Barnes to help in her recovery" he said "As much as I despise it, with the help of Wanda's gifts there stands a chance that they can relinquish her from the hold that Hydra has"_

 _Shaking his head, Steve didn't think it was a good idea "It's too risky for both of them. There's no guarantee that she won't lash out again. She won't stop until she's dead or he is" stated Steve with unease. After Katya managed to escape so effortlessly, he wasn't confident that she would stop._

 _"Of course there's complications. But if this works, you may very well have saved her life and that of your friends"_

 _Steve sighed "I just hope it's the right thing"_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

My fingers flexed and my knuckled cracked. With nothing to do but sit in this chair and stare at my own reflection, I'm beginning to grow restless and agitated. Looking over as the door to the room opened, I was greeted by an unexpected guest. Her long brunette hair is flattering and straight, her form is petite and her brown eyes big and beautiful. She wears a lot of red.

"My name is Wanda" she spoke with an accent as she stood by me, but not too close "I'm here to help you, but I can only do that if you let me"

I didn't answer. The two way mirror faded to clear and I was allowed to see through to the other side. Steve and the Soldier stood behind the screen with a poised look "Stay out of my head" it was directed to all of them. I've had enough people prying and poking inside of there.

Wanda glanced from me to Steve; silently asking for permission. The captain nodded his head and she sucked in a breath before emitting a red glow from her hands. It creeped toward me and I could feel that same warm tingling feeling worm its way into my brain. Unlike before, it hurt as she began to sift through my mine; searching for something I don't have. All of a sudden memories began to flash up like old recordings I used to watch in the Facility classroom.

* * *

 ** _Flash Back_**

 _We were young._

 _The girls all stood around watching us roll around on the cement floor. Blocking the girl on top of me as she swung her fists down. I don't remember how I'd gotten here or what I'd done to cause such a fight. All I know is that my body ached and the girl on top is relentless._

 _Punching her in the nose, she gasped as it broke upon impact. Clutching the wound with her hands, she wiped away the stream of blood before I tossed her off of me "Get back!" called the angry voice of Madame "What are you doing?" she made her way over to us "Explain yourselves this instant"_

 _We both rose from the floor and the crowd of girls backed away. I could feel a gash on my brown and a sting on my bottom lip. The girl beside me had blood all over her shirt and along her nose "It won't happen again" I said._

 _Madame shook her head before doctor Krupin walked in "What's this? Another fight" he tisked and wagged his finger at us both "Your causing trouble again Katya" turning his head, he nodded to the guards behind him and they grabbed both me and the girl by the arm "Take them to level two"_

 _The girl beside me squirmed as she glared at me with hate. Going to level two isn't a punishment were normally dealt in the Facility. They strip us of our clothes and they leave us in cramp cell with no lights. It smells of mould and rust. For days we'd go for little or no food before were finally released back to the others._

 _For a reason I don't remember, it was my all my fault._

* * *

"Get out! Get out my head" I yelled as the red mist hovered around me. Wanda held a perplexed expression on her face. What did she except? What did she _think_ she was going to find?

My head lowered to stare at my lap. My chest panted as a light sheen of sweat formed on my brown. Steve spoke through from the other side of the screen "Keep going" my hands squeezed into white knuckled fists.

"Please" I whispered "Please, Bucky. It's hurts"

There was a pause of silence. I couldn't hear anyone talking "Keeping going, and don't stop" came the Soldiers voice. He didn't sound convinced. He knows too much. He knows how _things_ work.

Flipping through my thoughts and memories, Wanda saw more of my life than I wanted anyone to see. She dug deeper and deeper and resurfaced things I barely recognised; moments you wouldn't normally remember. When I first learnt how to walk. When I lost my first tooth. I was helpless as I watched my whole life play before my eyes. I admit, it's painful and uncomfortable.

"Do you remember the day your brother died?" I asked wonder through the pounding headache that swelled in my brain "Do you remember how it must have hurt – to feel him die?

Wanda stopped and took a step back. Her doe eyes are wide as she looked at me "How do you know that?" she stuttered.

"Do you think about it? During the day or at night when your tossing and turning in your sleep? Do you hate yourself for killing the only person you had left?" I looked right into her eyes "Now you're all alone. He's buried in the ground because you were too weak to save him, even with all that power"

"Don't listen to her Wanda" said Steve with a stern tone "She's trying to get inside your head"

"It's only fair, isn't it?" I retorted with a quick glare toward screen.

Wanda shook her head "I didn't kill my brother"

"No? And what about all those other innocent people, if not your brother. Think about all the hundreds of lives you destroyed. Sokovia. Lagos. You're nothing but a murderer. If anyone should be sitting in this chair, it's you"

Wanda stormed out of the room with tears welling in her eyes. I watched from the screen to see Steve leaving to catch up with the brunette. It was silent for a moment "She didn't deserve that" replied the Soldier.

"Apparently _no one_ deserves anything" I sighed. No one can handle the truth.

* * *

 _Wanda held a shaking hand up to her forehead as tears streamed from her eyes "I can't do this. I'm not going back in there" she spoke with a trembling voice "How does she know all of this?" demanded Wanda._

 _Steve took her hand in his for comfort "Look at me. You can't let her get you, no matter what she says. I know you don't want to go back in there and I won't force you, but this our only chance" pleased Steve "Without you we might not be able to help break free"_

 _Wanda took her hand from Steve and gestured back to the room "She doesn't want to get better. She isn't like your friend. She doesn't feel guilty about the things she's done. I saw what was inside of her head. I saw the torture – the hell she's grown up in"_

 _"I know" replied Steve. He bowed his with a sigh "But there has to be something. She's only a kid. She doesn't know what she's doing. We need to help her Wanda"_

* * *

It's been a week since they sent the enhanced to sift through my brain. Each and every day Wanda would come into my room for sessions. Sometimes it's for an hour and sometimes it's a lot longer. I still don't know what she's looking for exactly. Hope? Goodness? Something she can bring forth to make me have some sort of epiphany. I know that it's starting to hurt, the more she scrapes at my mind. I'd get these hot flushes and I'd be drenched in sweat by the end of it.

What I hate the most is the confusion she leaves behind.

I can feel myself slipping away and coming back all at the same time. It makes me nauseous. There's days when I don't know where I am or who I am. Those are the times when he feel completely lost, like right this very moment.

"Katya" echoed the faint voice of the Soldier. My head tilted down as I felt weak and sluggish. I was barely awake "Katya. Look at me" he brushed away a few strands of wet hair "What happened?" he asked Wanda.

"I don't know" she replied with a concerned tone "Everything was fine. I don't know what I did"

I can feel the calming cold of the Soldiers metal hand as he pressed it to my cheek. Snapping his fingers near my ears, my eyes fluttered as I began to wake up a little more. Shifting forward in my seat, my brows knitted together as I felt sick to my stomach "Where am I?" I asked.

"You're in a remote facility in Wakanda" he replied.

It doesn't feel right. Leaning away from his touch, I stared down at my lap. I don't know what's going on. The restraints holding me down feel eerily familiar. The walls are closing in and morphing. I can feel the swell of pain splintering inside of my skull. I can hear the faint wiring of a machine "It's happening again" I muttered. They're going to make it all go away.

"Katya" I struggled in the chair as the world around me twisted into my old reality. The cold concrete walls. The sea of doctors and guards. The metal chair they'd strap me into when I wasn't doing well enough. It's all coming back to me now "No one's going to hurt you" spoke the Soldier. He looked deadly; dressed in black military gear and half his face covered by that mask he always wore.

"Get away from me" I don't want him near me. I looked to see Doctor Pavlov walking into the room. He was talking but I could hear. He's coming straight for me, holding a needle. I screamed as it punctured my skin. My body is going numb and my vision hazy. The surroundings of the Facility had all faded back to the clinical white and advanced room – and then darkness shortly followed.

* * *

 _They stood in the corridor of the medical bay, peering through the window to see Katya peacefully sedated. Her unconscious body lay still as a beeping from the heart monitor echoed from the room. Steve looked to the_ _doctor "What happened?" he asked._

 _The doctor held a clipboard "In laymen's terms, the brain can only handle so much strain. When your friend used her gifts, it became too much for the body to handle"_

 _"Will she be alright after she wakes up?" questioned Bucky as he stood beside Steve with a worried look. Maybe they took it too far. May they should have found an alternative solution._

 _"We won't know until she wakes. Even then, the part of her brain your friend was tampering with is one that controls memory. I speculate Katya won't remember anything from after she was taken from cryo" explained the doctor before sighing "As bad as this may look, you may have solved your problem. If she can't remember, then you can start over. Let her form new memories"_

 _The doctor was right in a way. This is what they wanted. Steve just wished it didn't go quite like this "Thank you doctor" spoke Steve. Nodding his head, the doctor excused himself and left the two super soldiers to talk with each other in private "He's right. This could be it" said Steve "It'll better that she doesn't remember what happened"_

 _Bucky thought about the situation for a moment. He agreed with what Steve was saying, but there's something else "What happens after all of this?" he asked "Say she gets better and we can help her. What happens then? I doubt S.H.I.E.L.D's going to let her out in the world"_

 _"Well, I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it"_


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

The white lights beaming down from above made me wince as my eyes fluttered open. My mouth feels incredibly dry and when I went to swallow, I instantly found myself gagging. Gasping as my heads fisted the sheets with a white knuckled grip, I panicked. There's something down my throat. Reaching up, I went to take out the intruding object when I realised I'd been restrained to the bed. Struggling as tears welled in the corner of my eyes, I kicked the sheets off of me as I squirmed.

Where's the doctors? Where's Pavlov?

Turning my head, I watched as the door opened and a pair of dark skinned men with lab coats rushed in towards me. Who are they? I don't recognise them. I don't recognise this place. One of them tried to hold me down while the other spoke "Katya, can you hear me?" I nodded my head "You must be still. Can you do that?"

I calmed my breathing and stopped squirming. The man nodded before reaching forward and carefully removing the tube that had been placed down my throat. Gagging a little, I coughed "Where am I?" I rasped "Where is Pavlov?"

The man shook his head before glancing at his colleague "We don't know who that is?"

My head rested back and the top end of the bed was lifted up so that I could sit in an upright position. The unknown doctors began to ask me a series of questions before righting them down on a clipboard. My eyes roamed around the unfamiliar place. There's medical equipment and wall mounted cupboard.

"Can you tell me where we are?" asked one of the doctors.

"The Facility" I answered.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked while shining a pen light into my eyes and checking for pupil dilation.

There was a pause as I looked into the muddy eyes of the doctor who stood on my right "Classified" I answered. This doesn't feel right. None of this is making any sense. First I wake up in a strange place I don't recognise and then I'm asked questions by people that I don't know. Wherever I am, it isn't the Facility.

The man went on to try and ask more questions, but I refused to answer. I don't know this man. Giving up, the two of them finished checking the monitors still attached to me before leaving the room without another word. Taking in the room more closely, I found there's only one window and through the metal shuttered I can see that it peers into a corridor.

My eyes roamed a little to the right when the door to my room opened again. I was expecting another foreign doctor I didn't know, but instead it's the Soldier; someone familiar. Walking toward me, I looked him up and down as he stood dressed in his black uniform. For the first time, I've finally seen him without the mask.

"Mission report. September twelve, nineteen fifty-three" he ordered with a gaze that never left me.

My brows furrowed a little. I was supposed to track and retrieve a man named Nathan Mathis. I know I succeeded in finding him. I'd followed his trail to Thailand, but that's as far back as I remember. Everything else is a blur "Target, unknown" I mumbled as I tried to push my mind to think. That can't be it.

The Soldier shifted in my line of vision and I looked at him "Did you fail?" he prodded. I don't know. There's a part of me that says I didn't, but I have no knowledge that I'm correct.

"I don't remember" I replied and I tilted my head down to stare at my lap.

"What _do_ you remember?"

"I found Nathan Mathis in Thailand. That's all I know. Everything after that is missing. I don't understand" I looked up at the Soldier again "I'm not in the Facility. Where am I?"

"Listen, and listen very carefully" he said and I gasped. A shot of pain erupted to fill my skill. The words he spoke triggered something familiar. I can hear someone else saying it – it was Pavlov. My eyes opened again and I peered down at the restraints to see the harsh black metal fade away to simple brown leather "Katya?"

"What's wrong with me?" I muttered just above a whisper. This isn't me. I'm never this vulnerable, but for some reason my world has somehow been turned upside down.

The Soldier didn't answer straight away "In nineteen fifty-three you were sent on an assignment to retrieve your target, Nathan Mathis. You completed the mission"

"The why don't I remember?"

"Because you've been asleep for sixty-three years" he explained without hesitance.

I shook my head in disbelief "No. That isn't right. You're lying" I seethed through my teeth as my body began to tremble.

"What I'm telling you is the truth"

Pulling on the leather cuffs, I quickly lunged up on my knees and wrapped my hands around his throat. His own caught hold of my wrists and squeezed. The door to my room opened again and a man I'd never met entered with a stern face. His eyes are blue and his hair yellow like the sun "Let him go Katya"

I trained my vision the Soldier "How does he know my name?" I demanded.

"He helped save you" he replied. I squeezed a little tighter as I looked into the steel eyes of the Soldier. Deep down I can see their different. They aren't the cold violent eyes that I once knew. Instead they'd softened into a distasteful look of guilt and regret "You're safe here. No one's going to hurt you again. I promise"

"I don't want your promises" I growled before slamming my fist into his face. Scrambling off of the bed, the blonde went to reach for the Soldier as he clutched his face. Using the distraction, I ran out of the room and down the corridor.

I can hear my name being called and I pushed my legs faster. Winding and twisting down hallways, I haven't the slightest idea as to where I'm going. All I know is that I need to get out of here before they catch me. Coming to a halt, a woman I'd never met but felt so familiar with had stopped before me.

"You're awake?" she said before taking a step toward me. I flinched back and she frowned "Do you remember me?"

I didn't answer. I don't have the time. Listening to their pounding footsteps behind me, I sprinted past the woman in red and tried to find an exit. Ignoring the constant calling of my name, I ran down more hallways until I stopped. I managed to find myself in an open planned area where men and woman in lab coats all stood staring at me with confusion and shock. I saw a pair of armed guards rushing toward me with their guns raised.

"Get on the ground!" they shouted "Now!"

Reaching to his shoulder, one of the guards spoke through the radio "Don't shoot!" ordered the blonde man from before as he stood not far away with the Soldier beside him.

The blonde had his hands raise and I could see the guards creeping ever so closely. Flickering my gaze to the Soldier, he gave me a look – don't do it.

Waiting until the guards had gotten close enough, I twisted a gun from one of their hands and shot the other in the hand "Katya, stop!" bellowed the Soldier as I punched the remaining guard in the throat. Running off into an unknown direction, I didn't get far when I was tackled to the ground by the Soldier. Rolling around on the ground, the gun was knocked from my hand and he straddled me. Grabbing my face in my hands, he made me look up at him "Stop it. Stop fighting" he said as I squirmed and kicked beneath his weight.

"Let me go Soldier" I demanded.

Slapping him in the face, I gasped when that same pain shot through my skull again. My eyes tightly closed as I watched scenes flash in my head. I'm once again strapped into some sort of chair. It feels incredibly cold and my lungs burn. I can see Pavlov standing a foot away but I'm being closed in. What's happening to me? Why does it hurt?

The pain slowly subsided and the flashes faded away. Opening my eyes, I looked up at the Soldier with fluttering lashes. A sudden wave of fatigue washed over me as I looked over his shoulder. The large electronic clock hanging on the wall displayed the date and ticked down each second. Maybe there telling me the truth.

* * *

 _Steve stood beside Bucky as they peered into the corridor window of one of the rooms in the medical bay "How's she doing?" asked Steve._

 _"They gave her something to calm down. She's alright for now" replied Bucky as he crossed his arms. He'd changed out of his old black uniform and insisted on keeping watch over Katya "I don't think it's a good idea for her to be here. She doesn't know any of these people. She doesn't know the new world"_

 _"No yet, but you could help her" replied Steve "She knows who you are"_

 _Bucky shook his head "She remembers the Soldier, not me. It didn't take her long to figure out something wasn't right. Katya remembers everything up until her last mission. Nathan Mathis, September twelve nineteen fifty-three" he said "Everything else after that, the serum, the experiment, the airport, she doesn't have a clue"_

 _Steve nodded his head. Katya had turned onto her side "Let's hope it stays that way. It's better for all of us if she doesn't figure it" Bucky didn't say anything as Steve gave a gentle squeeze to his friends shoulder._

* * *

Sitting up in the bed, I pushed my food around with a plastic fork they'd given me. The door opened and the soldier came to stand by my bed. He always visits at least once a day "You need to eat. You're starting to look frail" I ignored him and pushed the portable table away from me. I'm not hungry.

"When are you going to start answering my questions?" I asked with a sigh "It's been nearly three days since I woke up and no one will say a word" I looked over at the Soldier as he stood dressed in civilian clothes. It's hard to see him like that. He looks so different without the mask and all of his black clothing and tactical gear.

He nodded his head "Alright. What do you want to know?"

"Everything" I said "Who put me to sleep, and why?"

"Krupin _ordere_ d you to be placed into cryo after your last mission. It was to keep you safe" he replied.

"And you? How are you still here?" I asked "If it's really been sixty-three years, you should be old or dead"

"It's complicated" he said with a quick glance to the ground "Hydra, they kept me on ice and used me when they needed something done" it made sense, somewhat. Taking a moment for everything to sink in and process, it still didn't explain the important part; like how I don't remember going under. Maybe loss of memory is a side effect of the cryo machine.

"What about the other girls?" I questioned.

"They didn't make it"

"Then it's just us" I muttered to myself "The Facility is gone and it's all over" a pang of something unfamiliar tightened inside of my chest. It's hard to think my entire world has been wiped out only to be replaced with something I hardly recognise. What's the point of it now if none of it matters anymore? I looked to the Soldier "What happens now?"

"You start over" he answered.

"Like you did?"

"Yeah" he nodded "Like I did"

It went silent for a moment. It's somewhat uncomfortable having a conversation with a person who's now completely different. I don't remember this man to be caring or friendly. I remember him to be cold and lethal. For however long he's been free in this new world, he's managed to drastically change. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing.

"I don't want to stay in this place forever" I spoke up "When are they going to let me go?"

"I'm not sure when you can leave, but you can go access a few places in the building as long as you have someone with you" he replied.

"Do they think I'm going to hurt someone again, or try and escape?"

The Soldier paused for a second before stepping forward and pushing the portable trolley away from me. He didn't answer my question "Come on. I have something to show you"

Giving the Soldier a suspicious look, I pulled off the blankets and stepped out of bed. Following beside him as we walked out of the room and down the corridor, I took in the scent of cleaning chemical and lavender "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Somewhere that might feel familiar. You can't break habits overnight and you're used to a particular routine. We'll start from there" I nodded my head. It's better than lying in that hospital bed all day long. I remember a time where I was stuck in a similar situation. Only it didn't end too well when I tried to leave. I still have the scars he made.

Looking to my right, I caught a glimpse of something red out amongst the gardens below; located in the very centre of the massive building. Inspecting further, I stopped walking as I saw it to be the same woman who'd stopped me yesterday. She's with a humanoid looking man. I gestured "That woman down there. Who is she?"

The Soldier took a look and replied "Her names Wanda. She's a friends"

"She knew my name yesterday, when I was running away. She stopped and asked me if I knew her" I looked at him "What did she mean by that?"

Even three levels up, I noticed the clear attraction the two people below have with each other "I'm not sure" his eyebrows knitted together when he answered. I wanted to push the subject. I know he's hiding something, but I highly doubt he'd tell me what it is.

Continuing our walk, we eventually stopped at an open class door to the left of the hallway. Walking in, I took a glance around the room filled with training equipment; similar to the things in the Facility but more advanced "Training?" I asked.

He nodded "Every afternoon we'll come in here for a few hours" closing the door behind us, the Soldier walked over to a treadmill "There's some clothes on the bench in that room. Get changed and come back" doing as instructed, I went and redressed into a black sports bra and pants; similar to the ones I'd wear in the Facility. The Soldier pressed a few buttons on the machine "We'll take it slow for the first day. Six miles should be enough"


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

My breaths are controlled as I breathed out through my nose and stared straight ahead at the mirror wall. Now that I'm able to leave the confinement of my room, I'd started to feel a bit better. The distinct beep of the machine rung out and I slowed my pace before stopping. My six miles for the day are done. Getting off, the Soldier held out a metal water bottle. Taking a few mouthfuls he stood with his arms crossed over his toned chest.

"I didn't tell you earlier, but you'll be moving into you own room"

"How come?" I asked as I followed him out of the training room and down the corridor.

"Steve thinks that you've adjusted enough and you should be allowed your own quarters. Of course you'll be monitored, but it's better than having to be in the medical ward" he replied while turning down a hallway I'm unfamiliar with.

Following along, we entered a quieter area of the building. Stopping, the Soldier pulled out a key card and swiped it down a panel next to the door. Stepping inside he flipped a switch and the lights came on "This is where you'll be from now on" he said while I glanced over my new residence. The room is a decent size with plain walls and carpet. There's a single bed and study area along with a small adjoining bathroom.

"Thank you" I muttered to the Soldier.

He nodded in return before holding out the key card "Here, and try not to lose it" taking the peace of plastic, I clutched it tight and moved over to the neatly made bed. There isn't much but a few necessary things. I don't mind. It's more than I've ever had. The Soldier walked out of the room "I'll wait outside"

"Alright"

Waiting until the door had closed, I sifted through the bag that had placed on the bed. Grabbing a few clothing items, I took a quick warm shower to get clean before I went for my lessons with Wanda. Since my first outing to the training room almost three weeks ago, I've slowly had more things added to my daily schedule to help keep me busy.

After doing my usual training, the Soldier would wait until I've showered and then take me to my _education lessons_. Wanda had offered to help teach me about what's happened during the last sixty-three years. Some of the things are interesting, although it's only basic knowledge and not anything too in-depth.

After dressing, the Solider took me up another level before dropping me off at the door. Sitting on two soft chairs, we faced each other as we read the same book "November twenty-two, nineteen sixty-three, the president of the united states John Kennedy" Wanda paused to look at me "Katya? Are you listening?"

My mind had wandered. I've been here for an hour reading the same book I'd already read in advance last night. I didn't want to tell Wanda that I already knew all of this. I know she's trying her hardest to help me "That _man_ your always with, who is he?" I asked with a soft tone as to not make it sound as if I were demanding personal information.

I don't know what it is, but for some reason I can't get my mind off the couple. I know they like each other, maybe even _lov_ e, as some would describe it. But I've never seen two people react like to each other. I've never seen two people hold hands and smile in an indescribable way. It's sparked my interest.

"His name is Vision" she replied. I could see that look in her eye. Pupils dilating a little and glistening with a shine.

"And he isn't human?"

"No, he's not. But he's more human than you might think" Wanda replied "Despite what _they_ all might say, he understands me. Vision doesn't look at me as if I'm an explosion ready to go off at any moment. He doesn't try to supress me or my gifts because he knows there a part of me, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that"

I understood and I know the subjects a sensitive one for her by the way she looks away and plays with her fingernails. Although my olds self isn't usually _in touch_ with people's emotional sensitivity, I now know that I shouldn't go any further. Continuing with our lesson, it was nearing two hours when a knock sounded on the door.

"Come in" answered Wanda. I thought it might have been the Soldier, but instead it's Steve.

"How's the lesson going? Learn anything useful?" he asked while giving us a white toothed smile.

"We've just finished the long lecture of John Kennedy" replied Wanda replied. Closing my book, I'm still unsure about the blonde man that stood by the door. It's isn't that he's done anything wrong, I'm just cautious "And what do we owe the pleasure? We still have a few minutes left" she joked.

Steve apologised "Sorry to cut things short, but the doctor needs to give Katya a check-up" he replied before looking toward me. I nodded my head and handed Wanda the text book before getting up from my seat.

"Thank you for the lesson" I said to Wanda.

"Not a problem" she replied with another smile.

Heading out the door, I walked alongside Steve as we made our way to the medical bay. I didn't make an effort to start a conversation. I didn't have anything I really want to say to him "How are things going for you here?" he asked.

"It's comfortable" I replied. Steve cleared his throat a moment later and didn't ask anything else as we arrived to our destination.

* * *

Half an hour had passed until the doctor left with his fresh blood sample. Rolling my sleeves down, the Soldier walked over to me from the door way "There you are. Wanda said you went for a check-up. Are you all done?"

Nodding my head, I followed the Soldier as we made our way to the cafeteria. Turning here and there, I eventually asked "Why is your friend trying so hard?"

"Because he cares about you" he replied. I didn't understand why. I don't know Steve and he doesn't know me. As far as I'm concerned, the only reason I speak with him is because he's old friend with the Soldier.

"He's _your_ friend, that doesn't make him mine. I don't understand why someone would go through the trouble when we barely know each other. I have enough people helping me as it is. Do they think I can't take care of myself?"

The Soldier shook his head "No one said that" he replied "Me and Steve, we come from a different time. In our old lives the morals of our world were different. You have to realise that just because the everything around us has changed, it doesn't always mean where the same"

"Haven't you changed?" I questioned as we stopped in the middle of the hallway "Wanda told me the reason you're here. Your friend might think he's the saviour in the equation. He thinks he's helping those around him. Look at where you are" I said with a gesture "You're hiding away because of the decisions he's made. The people need to realise that their _Captain America_ isn't the hero the world thinks he is"

The Soldier took a step toward me "Steve has done nothing but protect us. We all wouldn't be here if it weren't for the things he's done"

"Your right" I agreed "Your all here because of the _things_ he's done. _Fixing_ the problem doesn't count if you're the one who caused it in the first place"

Giving the Soldier one last look I turned the way we came. I very rarely go to the cafeteria as the some of the others don't particularly agree with my being here; even if they don't physically voice it. I felt a warm hand grab a hold of my arm "Where are you going?" asked the Soldier.

"Back to my room. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable"

"You can't keep confining yourself. If you make the effort I'm sure they'll do the same" said the Soldier. I sighed as his light grip didn't falter. Turning around, he let go of my arm and we made our way to the cafeteria.

Entering inside, there's hardly anyone but a large group of familiar faces down the back end. As we approached a dark skinned man with no hair spoke up before taking a sip of water from his cup "I didn't realise we were having extra company"

Wanda gave the man a look before speaking "I don't believe you three have officially met. Katya, this is Sam Wilson and Scott Lang" she referred to both the men who sat side by side. The man named Scott didn't make eye contact, and the other didn't look away "Come sit with me" spoke Wanda.

I contemplated the situation. I think it would be best if I left and ate in my room like I usually do. Suddenly I felt a solid presence behind me and I knew it's the Soldier. Keeping in a sigh, I went and sat next to the brunette woman as she gave me a tray of food. I'm still getting used to the change in sustenance.

Looking to see the Soldier sitting beside Steve at one end of the table, a complete silence had washed over us "So, did anyone see the game last night" asked Scott, clearly trying to defuse the tense situation.

"You know, I'm starting to think you two are related" spoke Sam as he gestured to me and the Soldier, although his muddy brown eyes never left my face "You both just sit there like a bunch of robots" he spoke with an unfriendly tone. I know his real quarrel isn't with the Soldier, it's with me.

I leant back a little, my posture correcting as I glared "Sam, just let it go" said Steve with a hushed tone.

"Let what go Steve?" the man asked mockingly "The fact that you think it's perfectly okay for a cold blooded killer to walk around without supervision?"

Steve shook his head "You know that's not true. Bucky's always with her wherever she goes"

"Oh, you think that makes me sleep any better at night?" Sam spoke sarcastically "Well, let's not forget she sleeps right next to us too"

Scott snapped his head up "She does?"

Ignoring him, I sat collected although angry at the man who's against me. Getting up from my seat, I watched as Wanda went to say something, but I couldn't as I'd already left. Striding down the hallway I didn't get very far when a hand pulled me back "Katya, stop. He didn't mean it" spoke the Soldier as I hurled around to punch him in the face.

He grabbed my fist before it could make contact "Not everyone's going to understand you like I do. They don't know what's it's like to be us, not even Steve. I can't help you if you're always trying to run away" he let go of me "If you want to leave, I won't stop you. But once you're gone that's it – you're on your own"

How could he say that to me?

"You have _no idea_ what it's like to be me" I spoke with a venom in my voice "You might have done Hydra's dirty work when they need you, but at least you know who you are. All I have is what they _taught_ me. What they drilled into my mind and body. _Now_ look at me. What do I have to show for it? I wake up in a strange place with nothing but your word that everyone I knew is dead. That the man who raised me from a child is _dead_. That he put me to sleep for sixty-three years only to leave me with nothing but _you_ " I shoved the Soldiers chest "I would give anything to know what it felt like to have a mother and father. To know what it feels like to have ever been held or – loved"

The Soldier nodded his head "Fine. I might have known what it felt like to have all those things, but now I know what it feels like to have it all taken away from me. The friends, the family and the woman I loved – they lived their lives and died and I wasn't there. Sometimes it better to have nothing than something"

The Soldier gave me one last look and left.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

I kept a steady rhythm as my feet continued to pound as I ran on the treadmill. Taking calm and controlled breaths, I glanced up from the moving feet to look into the mirror wall in front of me. I was as my skin refused to glisten with sweat, no matter how hard or how long I run. Hearing the door to the training room open, I saw it was Steve as he walked over to me.

"You've been doing this all day. Do you plan on stopping?" he asked before I simmered down to stop and turned off the machine. Taking a drink and collecting my things into a bag, I walked past him when he called after me "You can't keep ignoring me"

"I want to be left alone" I replied before turning the corner. It's a simple request.

After the heated argument outside the cafeteria with the Soldier, I don't want to be near anyone right now. So far I'd skipped Wanda's teaching lessons and remained in my room for all meals and spare time. I don't want any more arguments. I don't want any more conversation. I don't even have to be followed anymore. I'd argued that it was impractical and they'd allowed me to roam by myself so long as I wear the tracking bracelet.

Turning into a familiar section of the building, I made my way into my room. Placing down the duffel bag on my bed, I collected a few items of clothing before walking into the adjoining bathroom. I zoned out focus as I turned on the shower. My mind drifted back to the Facility. Even when I remembered my time there so clearly, I feel as if there's always something missing. I don't know what it is and I don't want to ask anybody. For any reason, I don't want to be taken back to the medical bay.

Stripping myself and stepping into the warm spray, I closed the blue curtain that covered my modesty. Leaning against the wall with my hands, I let the steaming water run down the length of my body. Sighing in content, I always find this moment to be comforting as I enjoyed the feeling and solitary.

After washing and turning off the tap, I felt the remaining droplets of water slide down as I stepped out to face the mirror. Wiping away the fog, I couldn't help but stare at myself. I never realised how many scars I have, or where exactly they all came from. We never had mirror in the Facility. Starting at my shoulder, my eyes wandered down as I looked at the mark marring my body; some faint and others distinguishable. Tracing my fingers against my ribs, I felt the rigid line of flesh – I remember the Soldier gave me this.

An abrupt knock from my door quickly snapped me out of my trance as I tucked the cream towel to cover myself "Katya? It's me, Wanda. Can I come in?" I made my way over to the door and jarred it a little ways open.

"Oh" she said in shock "I'm sorry. I can come back later"

"No" I quickly ushered "Please. I just need a moment" opening the door wider, Wanda stepped in after me and sat down on the bed. Getting dressed in the bathroom, I came back out and stood waiting. Wanda didn't talk as she looked down at her shoes "Is there something you need?"

She looked up and shook her hand a little "I was just going to see if you wanted to take a walk with me. Get some fresh air. I know it can get restless here – always being inside" I looked her over, Wanda's gaze flickered to me and then back to the floor.

I admit, I feel guilty for avoiding Wanda as much as I have. I've always felt a _connection_ of sorts with the Sokovian and I enjoyed her company. I mustered a smile and nodded "That would be nice" giving me a smile, I could tell that she's happy I accepted her offer.

Getting up from the bed, Wanda gestured and opened the door "Shall we?"

Nodding my head, we walked beside each other until we ended up in the centre garden of the complex. Looking down, I stared at the green grass and various array of exotic flowers. They look much different in real life than the pictures I'd seen in books. Breathing in the scented air, I found my spirits slowly lifting. Everything around me is so – beautiful.

As we walked, Wanda and I talked about several things. Everything from her old life in Sokovia to finding her new family with the Avengers and Vision. I'm sure what made Wanda so different from the others. Maybe it's because she's easy to talk to and she's a woman. But whatever it may be, I always find it easier to confide in her when I speak. Although we don't talk about all the things that have happened in my life, I do tell her a great deal more than I would any other person.

"Will I be able to leave soon?" I asked, diverging from our previous conversation.

Wanda stopped and relieved a small sigh before sitting down at a bench. Patting the spot beside her, I sat and we looked out over the garden and green grass "I don't know when you'll be able to leave. The decision isn't mine to make. But despite what you may think, we do care about you Katya. Not just me, but Steve and James as well. We only want what's best for you and right now, it's to stay here"

My brows furrowed "James?" I questioned.

Wanda gave me a brief look of confusion before explaining "The Soldier. His real name is James Barnes" I looked away from her and gripped the edge of my seat a little "What's wrong?"

I shook my head lightly "We were never told his name" I replied even though something deep inside me kept saying the name is somehow familiar. I took a second to collect myself "It makes him sound – human" I blinked as my eyes trained onto the thick grass beneath my shoes.

"That's because he is" Wanda said softly "I know what happened back there. I know it must be difficult to see him so, differently"

Yes, it is.

I've never known the Soldier to be this normal or vulnerable. He isn't how I remembered and even though I don't want to admit it out loud, I'm afraid. How could someone like him be the person he is now? What could have possibly have made him change? There's time when I still wonder if maybe this is all just a dream, but a dream could never feel this real.

* * *

Sitting down on my bed, I spooned in a mouthful of carrot and parsnip. Tonight is _roast night_ as I'd been informed by several people in the cafeteria. Apparently it's a very popular food as everyone I seem to encounter enjoys the meal very much. So far, it isn't terrible and over the past few weeks I'd gradually managed to eat more. After all, I need to keep up my strength if I'm going to keep running so many miles a day.

Looking from my food and up to the small rectangle television built into the wall, I watched as the film I had chosen payed across the screen in black and white. Historical and educational, it's about a person called Martin Luther King; a man responsible for the African-American Civil Rights Movement. With a trained eye and observation, I memorised the man and his good deeds. I found it unfortunate to hear that he'd been assassinated because of things he'd accomplished.

Switching off the television, I got up and grabbed the leftover food tray before opening the door. Pausing, I watched as the Soldier swiped his card across the hallway in order to get into his room. I didn't make a sound as I saw water drip from his damp brown hair and onto the towel that draped around his neck. The Soldier must have sensed that I was there as he looked over his shoulder and eyed me up and down. Turning back around, he went into his room before slamming the door behind him.

I heaved a heavy sigh. I have the distinct feeling that the Soldier won't be talking to me for a few days, maybe weeks. After taking my tray back to the cafeteria, I slowly walked down the hall as I looked out the large glass panel windows. It's nice and dark outside with stars and dense shrouded jungle. Squinting, the moonlight caught the large statue of a black panther; its jaw wide open in a fierce roar.

"Are you enjoying the view?" I turned to see a man standing in a long sleeved black shirt and jeans. With dark skin and short black hair, he holds an aura of authority but friendliness. The man introduced himself "We haven't officially met. My names T'Challa"

Holding out his hand, I shook it as is the custom "It's a pleasure to meet you, your grace"

"Please" spoke with a faint smile "Titles and formalities aren't necessary" I nodded my head in understanding. He turned to look out the window "A magnificent creature, such strength. I admire it all the time" T'Challa glanced toward me "I hope your comfortable here. Forgive me for not finding you sooner"

"The apology isn't needed. I know you must be quite busy with your duties" I replied "And thank you for allowing me to stay here" standing all by ourselves, it went quiet for a moment as neither of us spoke.

"It's late to be wandering the halls. Were you not able to sleep?" he questioned while clasping his hands behind his back.

"There's too many things on my mind"

T'Challa nodded "I've heard of the tension between you and the others that reside here. Some are not quite as accepting of your presence. I understand that you might find it difficult to adapt in social circumstances, but rest assured, it happens to all of us"

"I don't feel as if I belong. I know it"

"Do you wish to leave?" he asked.

I sighed "Where would I go?"

"Anywhere your heart desires" he replied "You can start over and recreate yourself to be who you wish to be. Your life is your choice now"

"The _only_ real option I have is to start over, but I can't do that when my past still haunts me. I can see the gaps. I can feel the emptiness. There's so much missing" I sighed "In truth, I feel lost without the purpose that I had before. I don't know what to cling onto beside the confused emotions I have for the last person there is that means anything"

"I give you words of advice, that revenge isn't the answer" he said "I once led a similar path. It will only cause you more pain and suffering, perhaps even regret"

"I don't want revenge" I replied "I only seek my redemption and liberation, wherever or however that many be"


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 _Gasping, I inhaled a much needed breath of air before slumping to the ground "Get up!" barked the Soldier as he stepped in front of me, my line of site directed on his black military boots "Get up" he repeated. This time I followed his command and pushed myself up from the ground._

 _I can feel the stinging of cuts and bruises as they littered my body. I let out a faint wince of discomfort. Holding my fists up, I aimed and struck with a heavy swing of my arm, but I didn't make contact. Blocking my attack, the Soldier back handed me; the cold metal of his left hand leaving a tingle on my cheek. It was then that I recognised the moment._

 _It's a memory. One I never knew I had, but recognised almost immediately._

 _My gaze stared right at the cement ground as the Soldier began circling me like prey. He watched my every move as I stood silent and still. I wasn't prepared as he fisted a clump of my brown locks and winded the strands around his hand. Pulling me backwards, his elbow came down on my chest; knocking the air out of my lungs again. Coughing from the assault, my body wanted to give in, but instead he held me in place._

 _His chest pressed against my back "Kill me" he whispered by my ear. My brows knitted together in confusion. I glanced around to find the background fading. What's happening?_

 _Pulling on my hair again, I fell back into a black metal chair. I looked down to see my arms and legs restrained in metal clasps. The Soldier is standing right in front of me with a red book in his hand. Listening to him speak the words that electrified my brain, I squeezed my eyes closed. I can feel myself screaming but no voice is heard as a white hot pain crawled through my veins like a raging fire. This is a memory turned nightmare. This is a memory turned real._

 _It's all coming back to me now._

 _Opening my eyes when his voice and the words stopped, I stared at the Soldier "Kill me" he demanded again, but this time it sounded much firmer. The book vanished from his hands as he now knelt right before me "Get up and kill me"_

* * *

My eyes snapped open as I felt a solid weight sitting on top of me. I can feel the cold hard ground pressing against my back and I'm in a room that isn't my own. Focusing back on the crushing force above me, I suddenly realised that it's the Soldier. He held a firm expression on his face "What are you doing?" I hissed "Get off of me"

I squirmed beneath him as he pinned my arms beside my head. Looking me up and down, the Soldier let go of my arms to retrieve a glinting knife. My eyes narrowed before he finally said "You were trying to kill me"

I stared at him "What are you talking about?"

"You broke down my door and started swinging a knife" he said with a little wave of the blade "What the hell's wrong with you?"

My brows furrowed when I couldn't come up with an answer. I don't remember anything except for the dream. I don't remember waking up and I especially don't remember breaking down a door. I heard heavy footsteps before a pair of guards appeared with startled look at the scene before him "Sir, are you alright?" one them questioned.

"I'm fine" he replied before tossing the knife up onto his bed beside us. Getting up of me, the Soldier pulled me up from the floor and kept a firm grip on my upper arm "Taker her to the medical bay. She needs to see the doctor"

The guards nodded in agreement and I protested "No!" I tried to move away from the Soldiers hold but I was helpless as he held me still while the guards cuffs my hands behind my back. I glared at the Soldier "I didn't do anything"

Handing me over to the guards, they tried to pull and tug me down the hall. Yanking my body free from their grip, I kicked the man on the left in the back of the knee. Watching him crumple to the floor, I kicked the other in the chest and he tumbled back. But before I had the chance to run, a strong pair of arms turned me around before scooping me up over his shoulder. The more I struggled the more he'd dig his fingers into my thigh.

"I didn't do anything. I wasn't trying to kill you" I said.

"Then what _were_ you doing?" he questioned and I didn't answer. I couldn't.

Looking out the glass wall as I was carried down the empty hallways, I could see the fog lifting from outside as the sky turned bluer as the sun started to rise. Walking down a corridor, his shoulder dug into my ribs with each step he took. I heard the door slide open before he carried me through and tossed me over his shoulder.

Landing on a patient bed with a thud, creek and groan "Stay here and do as he says" spoke the Soldier before giving me one final look and leaving.

I watched him leave until the site of him disappeared. The guards who were supposed to take me are now standing posted outside the door. Looking away, the doctor entered and I recognised him as one of the usuals.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine" I stated with an agitated tone "There's nothing wrong with me"

* * *

 _Standing in the hallway Steve and Bucky stood patiently as the doctor made his way out of the patient room to stand by them "Katya seems to be in good health, although her pupils are slightly dilated. I'd like to keep her here for extra precaution" explained the doctor "Can you explain what happened earlier this morning?"_

 _Bucky crossed his arms before answer "I was asleep when the door broke open. She started swinging a knife at me and she wouldn't listen to anything I said. She had this blank look on her face, like she wasn't really there" he explained "Then I managed to push her down and she hit her head on the floor. That was it. She snapped out of it, but she couldn't remember anything that happened"_

 _Steve rubbed his hand down his chin before asking "Do you think it could be something to do with the brain damage?"_

 _The doctor nodded his head "Possibly. Something might have triggered the action in her sleep. A dream or nightmare perhaps"_

 _Letting out a sigh, Bucky knew this couldn't be good "Do you think she's starting to remember?" he asked "You didn't say it was impossible"_

 _"We can't know for sure as of now. So far Katya hasn't given us any evidence that she's remember her past. Give it a few more days. We'll know by then if she's really starting to remember. It could have just been an episode of sorts" replied the doctor "However, if it's the latter, you'll have to take it in steps. I don't imagine she'll take it all too well"_

* * *

A week had passed since I was admitted from the medical bay and back to my room. In that span of time and including up until I was found in the Soldiers room, things have started to change rather drastically. The others keep their distance now, and the only person to have ever of came to see me is the Soldier; the last person I wanted to look at.

It was difficult not to react the way I wanted to – with violence.

His voice grated in my ears like chalk on a blackboard, and even the very smell of him made my stomach twist and turn with sickness and anger. I remember the Facility and now I'm beginning to remember much more. The Serum. The machine. The day they shut me into cryo. The gaps and the emptiness I'd felt before is now being pieced together one part at a time.

My days awake are filled with constant triggers that make me see things I'd never realised before, and at night it's a constant nightmare of events. I'd asked for my redemption and liberation, and I wondered if this is it – to see through their cunning lie. Of course I didn't tell a single soul of my discovery and instead I played the part of confused and misunderstood.

I know that if they ever realised I learnt the horrifying truth of my past that they'd never let me leave this place. I imagine they'd start their therapy all over again. Sift through my brain until it can't take anymore and I forget again. I find it amusing that they believed what they did to me was for the greater good of myself and society. In truth, they're no better than the people in the Facility.

Heading back to my room after a doctor's visit, the night is starting to take over and I'd yet to encounter anyone familiar in the hallway. I don't have intention in seeking them out myself. Laying in my bed, I stared up at the ceiling and listened closely. I can hear the faint buzzing of the light from above. The detail isn't something I'd noticed before. It's another thing that's been happening; I can feel and hear more things than before.

Wincing as my heart and stomach clenched, a wave of a nausea washed over me. Rolling over on my side, I saw an image of a man; the one who released me from the cryo tube a few months ago. I remember how he spoke the words and gave me my orders. Zemo made me do all those things. He made me try to kill the Soldier. But when I had the chance to end it all, I did the one thing I wasn't trained to do – I hesitated.

Because deep down I do realise the Soldier isn't the one responsible for my years of pain and suffering. As I'd said in that cold damp room in Siberia, the people in the Facility are all long dead. Perhaps T'Challa was right all those nights ago. Maybe I did want some sort of revenge, but I know killing the Soldier isn't the answer. He was just another pawn in their game.

Trembling as my whole body shook, I jolted awake from the shaking of my body and opened my eyes. I looked down to see my dishelmed form; the sheets twisted and my hair tangled. Finally I realised that a voice is calling my named. I trailed my eyes and found the source of my name. The Soldier is crouched beside my bed and his steel eyes are worried as I slowly blinked in hazy confusion.

My whole body is freezing cold and yet I can feel sweat dripping to dampen my skin salty and wet. I felt a silent tear slip as my breath hitched in my throat, I lowered my gaze before feeling the cool metal of his hand as he pressed it against my flushed cheek. Shutting my eyes as more tears continued to slip, the Soldier reached with his flesh hand to wipe them away.

Shivering when the blankets were pulled completely off of me, I curled up as his armed reached to pick me up from my bed. Wrapping an arm around his neck, I realised by the warmth of his flesh that he isn't wearing a shirt, only jeans. Carrying me over to the bathroom, the lights turned on and he sat down with me under the shower head.

Pulling me to sit between his spread legs, my back rested flush against his chest as an arm wrapped around my waist. I gasped when the water sprayed down from above to immerse us in warm water. My shivering slowly subsided and my stream of tears mixed in with the whirl of running water. Leaning against him, the Soldier held me close. Neither one of us spoke a single word. It was silent.

As a few minutes ticked by, it didn't feel like very long when he'd turned off the shower. Not letting me go from his embrace, I could feel the soft rumble of his voice as he spoke "What did you remember?" he asked calmly. I frowned. I didn't want him to know, but I was sick of keeping it all in.

"I remembered everything" I replied. Looking down at his metal arm, my fingers brushed the water droplets that sat on the metal plates. I felt his muscles stiffen against me and I stopped. I don't know if it's because of my answer, or because I was touching him "It doesn't matter anymore" I added.

It's the truth. It's all in the past now.

The Soldier shifted behind me and stood up. Hooking his hands under my arms, he lifted me up and guided me out of the shower. Pulling a cream coloured towel off of the rack, he handed it to me "Go back to bed and get some rest" he said before waking out of the bathroom. I heard as the door clicked shut behind him.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Swinging left and right, the punches of my bandaged knuckles made a noise against the leather of the Soldiers padded gloves. Concentrating, I continued my assault of attacks; never once missing and each with more force than the last. Like most days in the training room, were the only ones here today.

Since the night the Soldier had comforted me in the shower, our _relationship_ hadn't reformed itself completely. We still barely speak to one another and when we do, it's with brief and direct replies. It seems as if we constantly have some sort of _wedge of tension_ between us. Sometimes I find it difficult to deal with.

Letting out one last punch, I could tell it held my anger as the impact pushed his arm away further than the rest. Letting out a sigh, I paused and looked to the ground. I didn't want to meet his burning gaze. I know he wants to say something, but he always holds back. Unwrapping the bandages, I made my way over to my gym back.

I think today's session is done.

Taking my cue, the Soldier took of the padded gloves and dropped them carelessly to the side. It was silent for a moment more before he spoke "Were going to have to talk sooner or later. You can't keep avoiding me forever"

"If I were trying to avoid you, I wouldn't be here" I replied while picking up my duffle back and shrugging it onto my shoulder.

"Then why haven't you said anything since the night I found you?"

"Because it's difficult to talk to you. I don't know what to say" I said before adding "You lied to me – all of you"

"I was doing what I thought was right Katya. I was trying to protect you"

"You don't _need_ to protect me, and I deserve to know my own life, my own memories" I replied "Instead you and all the others kept it from me. A cruel and dangerous secret. How did you ever think it'd be that simple What were you hoping? That when I'd wake up you could start all over?"

"Yes" he answered without hesitation "I wanted you to forget – all of it. All the things that they did to do. All the things that I did to you. I wanted to take back the mistakes that were made even if they weren't fully my own. If you were in my shoes, wouldn't you do the same for me?"

I shook my head "No, I wouldn't. I'd tell you the truth instead of letting you live a lie. I would have helped you push through. Forget all the anger, the guilt and the regret" I replied "I would never have done what you did"

The Soldier lowered his eyes before relieving a gentle sigh. I can tell he's exhausted and clouded with too many thoughts. It's easy to see the strain and heavy weight that rested on him "I was afraid" he said "Every time they pulled me out it was just another mission before I went under again, and then it changed. I met someone I didn't recognise, but I felt a connection. After I found Steve, things have never been the same. Everywhere I look, I remembered things I didn't even know were there. I didn't know who I was. I'm _still_ confused" he shook his head "I didn't want you to go through that"

I let the Soldier words sink in for a moment. He didn't want to see me hurt. I quickly glanced to the floor, my finger curling into a fist as my nails dug into the flesh of my palm "Thank you" they probably weren't the words he was expecting "You could have killed me, or left me behind – but you saved me"

The Soldiers brows knitted in confusion for a moment as he mulled over my words. He nodded his head "And I'm sorry, for now doing it sooner"

* * *

Rubbing the back of my neck as I headed into the cafeteria, I scanned the room. There aren't many people as it's getting quite late into the night, but one person in particular stood out from the rest – Steve. Watching from a far as he sat hunched over at one of the back tables, I could tell he was troubled.

Pushing aside my conflict with the man, I made my way over to the blonde captain and sat across from him. Watching as his sea blue eyes widened, Steve looked surprised that I'd joined him "Katya, what do I owe the pleasure?" he spoke before abandoning his fork and meal to give me full attention.

I took a moment to reply. I couldn't quite get the words to form in my mouth. Since remembering everything, I wanted to make a change. I didn't want to be the cold person I once was. I wanted to followed T'Challa's advice and make myself into who I wanted to be "I understand we have our differences and that might never change, but I do want to remake our friendship"

"You want us to be friends?" he clarified.

"I wanted us to become better acquainted"

Steve gave me a light smile and nodded "I think that would be great" he cleared his throat and I watched as it was replaced with a seriousness "There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about"

"What would that be?" I asked, although I high doubt it would been any more tests in the medical bay. The Soldier usually informs me of those.

"It's been a few months since settled in Wakanda. Since things are looking much better for you, we discussed whether or not you would be ready to move on"

I leant back in my seat "Leave?" I questioned hesitantly. What did he mean? Where would I go? I don't have anywhere else but here.

"The decision was made between Bucky, T'Challa and myself. We all agreed that it's the right choice. In a few days' time you'll be moving back to the mainland where you can start fresh. Your new life" the way Steve spoke made it sound as if it were inevitable, and that somehow I'd thought about all of this. Suddenly my want to renew our friendship had vanished and I was yet again angered by the captain.

"Where would I go?" I questioned "I don't have anything left. Perhaps you would have realised that if you'd bothered to include me in the decision"

Steve pushed his tray aside and clasped his hands together "We already considered that and it isn't an issue. You'll have a home and you won't be alone either. Since Bucky is the closest you have, he'll be going with you. We've already sorted out the other technical details"

"Why do you want to get rid of me?" I questioned firmly.

"Were not trying to get rid of you. We'd be more than happy for you to stay" replied Steve "Some of us have grown very close to you. Where only doing this so that you can move on. There's nothing left for you here in Wakanda. It's time that you find your own footing, and I've got no doubt that you'll do great out there. And if you're worried – I know he'll protect you as best he can"

My eyes stared down at the metal bench of the table. Silently getting up from my seat, I ignored the call of my name as I walked out of the cafeteria. Marching down the hallways and corridor, I ended up at the Soldier bedroom door and banged my fist in a string of knocks. Almost pounding down the door, I don't know if he's here or not.

Stopping once the door clicked and swung wide open, the Soldier stood looked confused and a little irritated "What's wrong?" he questioned.

I shoved him but he didn't budge "Why? Why are you sending me away? You know I can't go out there. I'm not ready" I said before pushing him again. He still didn't move.

Taking a step forward, he took my arm in his flesh hand "Calm down, alright. No one's _sending_ you away. I'll be right there with you" I shrugged my arm out of his grip "Katya" he said while reaching for me again "Stop it"

"No one gets to decided what happens with my life. I've had people do that to me for years and I'm not going to keep letting it happen" I hissed as I took a step back.

The Soldier sighed and withdrew his hand "Your acting childish. No one's trying to control you. Were just trying to help"

"Just stop it! I'm so sick of you people always saying that. It's all you ever tell me now, that you're _just trying to help me_. I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask for any of this!" I gestured all around me "This is all because of you and your friends"

I winced when the Soldier grabbed my shoulders with a firm grip. Pulling me into his room, he slammed the door shut "You're not a child Katya you never have been, so grow up and stop acting like one. You were taught better than this and you know it. After your examination were leaving Wakanda and that's final"

Glaring, I hated the way he scolded me as if we were in training and as I were a petulant child. If that's how he wants to be, then fine. If he thinks I was raised better than this, then I'll show him just how much better I can be "I don't want any part in what you or anyone else has to offer. When we leave, it'll be the last time you ever see me"

I turned and reached for the door handle "I'd like to see you try. We'll see just how far you get before I find you"


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

The days past and the medical examination went accordingly. I've been deemed fit and healthy to leave, and now here I am packing what few belongings I have before I board the Quinjet. Folding a plain black shirt, I tucked it neatly into the suitcase before a knock interrupted me. Opening the door, I saw Wanda as she stood with a solemn look on her face.

"I heard you're leaving soon" she spoke with a quiet tone.

I nodded my head and opened the door wider so that she could come in and I could resume my packing. I only have a little under an hour before I have to go "I didn't want to leave" I said as I placed in a small totem of a panther T'Challa had given me.

"I know. You've gotten comfortable here. We all have" Wanda sighed "I think it was a poor decision on their behalf. They should have included you when they discussed it. It's your life after all. I know you wouldn't have taken it lightly had you been there, but still"

"It's done and I can't change anything now" I replied. Zipping the edge of the suitcase, I pulled it up from the bed and sat it down on the floor. Glancing around the room, it was now completely bare and empty. I looked at Wanda as she still seemed upset with the fact that I'm leaving.

It was silent.

Suddenly stepping forward, my brown eyes widened when I felt her arms enclosed around me in a warm embrace. Standing as still as a statue, I didn't know what to do or how to react. I've never been hugged before and it felt strangely intimate and foreign. I'm not sure if I like it or not. Taking another second to process the action, I decided it was best to return the favour.

If I'm going to live in the new world, I'll have to learn to act somewhat normal. Slowly wrapping my arms around Wanda's waist, she squeezed a fraction tighter at my positive response "Please be safe and make the most of it. You deserve this much" she spoke gently. Letting me go, she took a deep breath and gestured to the door way "I'll walk with you"

Heading down the hallways one last time, I heard the loud whirl of the Quinjet's engine as we entered onto the platform. The whole team stood waiting for me; even Sam Wilson. Handing my bag over to a tall guard, I waited for the Soldier to finish his conversation with Steve. A slight cough drew my attention as Sam walked over to me.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I misjudged you" he said with a regretful tone "I hope you make a good life for yourself Kid"

I nodded my head in acceptance of his apology and fair well "Thank you. I wish you the best as well" Sam nodded before stepping back to stand beside Scott.

The Soldier and Steve finished their conversation with a quick and tight hug. Making his way over to me with a duffel bag on his shoulder, the Soldier is dressed in casual civilian clothes; jeans, a navy shirt and a jumper to hide his metal arm along with a black glove. At a glance by any _normal_ citizen, the Soldier would appear to be like any other man. It was somewhat unsettling, but I quickly dismissed it.

"Time to go" he said while walking past me and up the ramp of the Quinjet.

Following behind him, I looked over to Wanda one last time as she gave a wave goodbye. Giving her a small smile, I turned and sat down in one of the seats on the side. The ramp of the jet sealed closed moments later and I buckled myself in as the Soldier did the same. Soon we were up in the air and flying toward my new home.

* * *

It'd taken us many hours, but it felt like a short eternity as we sat in nothing but pure silence the whole journey "Were here" feeling the soft but abrupt touchdown of the Quinjet, the Soldier immediately got out of his harness and came to my side "Stay close to me and don't wander off" he commanded before combing his fingers through his hair and placing a black cap over the top.

Getting out of my seat, I grabbed my bag and followed him down the ramp as it descended. Taking a look around, the layout of the area looks familiar to the airport in Leipzig. Listening to the wheels of my suitcase make a raking noise against the concrete bellow, I followed the Soldier off the tarmac and into the main building. Wincing as we entered, my eyes fluttered as the wave of loud noise invaded my ears.

There's so many people.

Glancing over, I felt a stern grip on my upper left arm and saw it to be the Soldier "Come on" he said while tugging me alongside him.

Glancing around the crowed, I mustn't have appeared too inviting as some people gave glances between me and the Soldier as we walked by. Winding our way through the mass complex, I listened as a loud cry echoed from one of the waiting areas. It's a baby. Slowing down my pace, I watched the small infant as it wailed in its mother's arms. I'd never seen a baby until this moment, especially one so young and so close.

Giving my arm another tug, I was snapped from my trance by a grunt from the Soldier "Keep up"

Finally making our way through the maze of the airport, we crossed the pick-up zone and headed toward a small yellow coloured building with a sign named _LCG Car Rentals and Parking._ Holding the door open, the Soldier nudged me inside and pushed me lightly to sit down on one of the waiting seats. Walking up to the desk, he started to talk to the young man behind the counter.

I didn't listen in on their conversation and instead waited a few minutes until the Soldier tugged me from my seat and we walked through the back entrance to where rows of vehicles had been parked. After explaining a few things to the Soldier, the young man handed over a set of keys and went back inside.

"You can let go of me" I snapped at the Soldier as he continued to drag me to the car "I can walk by myself"

"I'm sure you can, but why would I when you threatened to leave?" he retorted "I don't need you running off on me before we even get to the house. I don't have time to chase after you" I glared at him before we stopped and he clicked the car remote.

Watching the yellow lights of the car blink twice, he popped the trunk of the four-wheel drive. Chucking in the bags and closing the lid, he walked me around to the passenger side of the car. Opening up the door, the Soldier nudged me "Get in" barely having enough time, he slammed the door shut and I could feel the anger bubbling beneath the surface. He's being ridiculous, and if he doesn't snap out of it soon then I'll definitely be leaving.

After getting into the driver's side, he started the engine and pulled out of the carpark. Soon enough we were out of the bustling area and onto another, the highway. Sighing internally, I couldn't help but silently reprimand the driving of some people as they sped past us in a rush to get wherever they needed to be. An hour past before we turned off and onto an exit ramp.

Heading into a small neighbourhood, we aren't that far from the city but were still far enough that there aren't as many people as I'd thought there'd be. Driving through several blocks, we stopped at a set of red traffic lights and waited as a group of teenagers consisting of a group of girls and boys strutted across the road; laughing and chatting to one another.

"That reminds me. I've enrolled you into school" announced the Soldier as the traffic lights turned green and the car sped back up.

"Why would you do that?" I asked with a confused look. There's no reason for me to be in the education system.

"Tony, he helped get you in. As far as the world knows, you've completed all your education up until this year. You're still sixteen" he said "It'll be good for you get out of the house and find some semblance of a normal life. Plus, if your there for five days a week then I'll know where you are at all times"

"It's already halfway through the year. There isn't any point in me going into a place like that. I won't learn anything I don't already know. And what happens when I finish? Where will I go then?"

"It isn't just about learning Katya. It's about meeting new people and becoming familiar with the culture. The time are different and you don't have very good social skills. You're going to need to make some if you want to survive and have friends of your own" he replied "As for when you're finished, I'll figure that out another day. But for now, this is how it's going to be"

Driving through a few more blocks, we turned down a separate road and then into a driveway shortly after. Looking up at the cottage type house, it looks comfortable and ordinary. Two story in design, the outside is made of wooden boards and there's a decent front yard. Getting out of the car, I wandered my eyes around the surrounding neighbourhood. So far it's quiet, but I can still hear the faint noise of children playing down the street.

Not having time to help, the Soldier had grabbed our bags and is now heading inside. Following behind him, I inspected the furnished interior to find that it's rather cosy with a slight modern touch. With wooden floorboards, three rooms and a decent size kitchen and bathroom, the home is definitely spacious so that we won't be in each other's way.

Standing in what I assumed to be my room, a single bed had been placed against the wall under the window, while a desk and draws are pressed up against the other sides. Unpacking my belongings the room didn't feel as empty as I imagined it would be, as there's already clothes in the cupboard along with a few other items.

An hour or two passed when a delicious scent wafted under my nose. Following the invisible fragrance out of my room and down the stairs, I headed into the kitchen to sit down on a stool at the island counter. I watched as the Soldier guided himself through the kitchen as he cooked. The muscled of his back flexed beneath his form fitting shirt as he glanced over his shoulder.

"You can cook?" I questioned.

"Yes. I can cook" he replied while concentrating on the pots and pans.

I caught the faint shake of his head when the Soldier paused for a second. He didn't say another word as he continued to make dinner, and neither did I. Only taking a few more minutes to prepare, the meal was soon served in front of me; steam rising from the cooked meat and vegetables. I watched confused as the Soldier left his own plate on the bench before marching up the stairs in a swift exit. I heard his bedroom door close with a thud and I sighed.

I wonder what I said this time.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

"Do you remember what I told you?" questioned the Soldier as I tied my shoe laces. Nodding my head, I got up from my position on the stairs and grabbed the bag he held out for me. It's still early in the morning and were going over my alias. Tugging the bag over my shoulders, it rested against my back "Do you need a ride?"

"No" I said while grabbing a green apple from the wire fruit basket on the island counter.

Taking a bite, I made my way out the front door before letting out a sigh and breathing in the fresh air. Last night had been another endless pit of silence. The Soldier didn't surface from his room after locking himself in there. I contemplated on going in, but changed my mind and thought it would be better if I left him alone for now. We both need to cool off and have time to ourselves.

Starting my journey down the footpath of the street, the school isn't far away and I have the route memorised. Watching a small group of kids on the opposite side of the road, I listened as they laughed together. I know I'm going to have trouble doing what the Soldier asked me to do. I don't think I'll bother. As long as he thinks everything's fine and well, then that's all he needs. I don't have to make friends or socialise. I didn't need them before and I don't need them now.

Getting closer to the large building, kids of all sorts of clothing, sizes, age and ethnicity swarmed around. Quickly scanning my surroundings, a yellow bus unloaded another group of smaller children before taking off. Parents in their four-wheel drives waved their children goodbye before doing the same and no doubt leaving for their jobs.

Following the general direction of the students, I entered the wide double doors and looked around to try and find someone who appeared to be in a state of authority. But all I found was nothing but a sea of bodies; most whom talked amongst themselves while a few couples stood with their tongues jammed down each other's throats. Inappropriate. Disgusting. Immature. I shook the thoughts from my head. The world isn't like it used to be.

I have to remind myself that things are different now.

Spotting a mature older woman in a knitted orange cardigan with thick white rimmed glasses, I quickly approached "Excuse me" I said to catch her attention "Do you know where I can find this person?" I handed over a note that the Soldier had given me.

"Yes, of course. You must be the new student. It's good to have you here" spoke the older woman with a smile. Following after her, we walked down the corridor while several teenage boys and girls eyed me up and down; trying to decipher me in their little minds. We entered an administration and waiting area "Right through here. Miss Harrison will be with you shortly"

"Thank you"

Not expecting the sudden sound, I jolted as the bell rang with loud rattle. I could hear the teenagers in the hall scurry their way into their allocated classrooms, and it soon became deathly quiet. Turning my head, the door to an office opened beside me and the click of heels sounded on the linoleum flooring. I frowned when a brief image of Madame crossed my mind.

"Amelia?" a voice came into focus and I turned to look at the woman.

The blonde gave me a white toothed smile. Tall with long legs and an hour glass figure, she's dressed professional with pressed clothing and a natural appearance "Hello" I greeted.

"Good morning" she replied with a gesture of her hand "Please, come into my office"

Heading into the square room that smelt of leather and wood, I wiped my hands against my jeans and placed down my bag to sit in the plush chair. Watching the woman do the same behind her desk, I took in the site of cupboards filled with medals, trophies and school photos of achievement. A typical set up.

Wheeling her chair under the mahogany desk, she folded her hands in front of her before speaking "My names Miss Harrison. I'm the high school's principal. I understand that you and your guardian, Nathan, move around a lot. Am I correct?"

"Yes" I replied.

Nodding her head, Miss Harrison tucked a few wisps of her blonde hair. Still fairly young and beautiful with blue eyes and thin lips, she has a sort of graceful look about her. Looking down at the folder with papers, she spoke "I can also see your grades are impeccable. I'm very glad you chose to finish your education here Amelia. And please, if you need anything, my door is always open. Don't be afraid to ask"

Giving me a rich smile, she's certainly nice and polite. I nodded my head "Thank you for accepting me. I'll be sure to do my best"

We both stood and Miss Harrison opened the office door "I'll give you a quick tour of the grounds and show you where your locker is" handing me a slip of paper with a timetable, she continued "I'll be happy to walk you to your first class. Miss Munroe is a very lovely lady. I'm sure you two will get along just fine"

Looking down at my schedule, I have a list of classes; most of which are advanced. Trust Tony Stark to put me in those instead of the normal classes. As if I didn't stand out enough already. Following the principal around the school, I found the layout to be simple but large. Coming back into the main hallway, the blonde women knocked on a light blue door labelled _Ancient History_.

The lecture from inside came to a halt before Miss Harrison opened the door with a smile "I apologise for interrupting, but we have a new student to introduce"

The first thing that came to mind wasn't the fact that all those teenagers are staring at me, or the fact that I hadn't spoken. What came to mind was the thought of the Facility classroom and how it looked similar to this one. Immediately I scolded myself for the straying thoughts and turned to see that Miss Munroe is the very same woman who helped me earlier; the one in the orange cardigan.

Dusting her aged hands of the white chalk, she turned to the class audience "Everyone, this is Amelia Corvine. She'll be joining us for the rest of the year. Please be polite and introduce yourselves at lunch. I'm sure Amelia won't bite"

I heard the distinct _pop_ of someone's chewing gum. The tension of silence is thick. Giving a slight clear of her throat, Miss Harrison gave me a pat on the shoulder before I walked over to one of the empty desks and sat down. The blonde gave me one last look before leaving the classroom so we could continue.

Listening along, the subject Miss Monroe is discussing is all very familiar. Taking out a book and pen, I wrote down the notes she gave on the board "Now" she said before turning to the class "Who can tell me one thing August Caesar did during his reign in Rome?"

* * *

The last bell signalling the end of the day had finally come and I watched as the mass of bodies flushed out of the classroom. Taking my time, I didn't want to get caught up in the rush of the crowed. Stuffing the thick physics text book into my bag, I'd been given a large amount of homework from Mister Hagen; the young physics teacher.

Out of all the classes I've had today, Physics had been the most interesting; but not because of the content of the class. When I first met Mister Hagen, I couldn't help but notice how similar he looked to the Soldier. It wasn't identical, but there were a few key similarities that had sparked my curiosity. In my mind, Mister Hagen is what I imagine the Soldier would have looked like if he had shorter hair, a shaven face and professional clothing.

Glancing around, I realised that me and the teacher are the only ones left. Shrugging on my heavy bag, I went to walk out of the room when I was stopped "Amelia, can I talk to you for a minute?" I turned and stepped over to his desk "Since it's the middle of the years and I don't usually get very many new students for advanced physics, I just wanted to make sure you're doing alright on your first day. I like to make sure my students are on the right path"

I nodded in understanding "I'm familiar with the topic were on and I understand everything you've taught so far" I replied with a reassuring tone. Nothing in today's lesson is new to me.

His eyebrows raised and he scratched his jaw "That's good to hear. But if you do have any trouble, just come find me. I'm always in here during lunch breaks" he said with a smile.

I nodded my head again "Thank you Mister Hagen and have a good afternoon" turning, I left the room and made my way outside. If I'm too late getting home, the Soldier will be wondering where I am. Jogging down the few front steps of the school, I proceeded in the direction of the house.

Keeping a steady and even pace, I walked up the pebbled driveway and up the steps of the porch. Patting down my pockets, I opened the door with my own set of house keys and watched as the Soldier walked out of the kitchen "You're late" he said with a firm tone "Where were you?"

"I was held back by a teacher" I replied, but it gave the wrong impression.

"Held back? What happened?" he asked as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing happened. My physics teacher wanted to make sure that I understood what he taught. I wasn't causing trouble if that's why you're angry" I walked up the stairs and toward my room.

Pushing the door open, I dropped my bag down as I heard the sound of his footsteps behind me "I wasn't angry. I was worried"

"Why? Did you think I ran away?" I asked with a dull tone and sigh. Sitting down at my desk, I took out my textbook and homework from my school bag. It all needs to be done by tonight "You gave me the chance to do that this morning when I left for school"

The Soldier crossed his arms and leant against the door frame "But you didn't"

Nodding, I repeated " _But I didn't_. So there's nothing for you to worry about" picking up my pen, I began to sift through my tasks.

Ignoring the Soldiers lingering presence, he stepped forward and grabbed the back of my chair. Swivelling me around to look at him, he'd crouched down in front of me "Are you angry at me?" he asked, clearly noticing my sour attitude.

I peered into his eyes "Yes, I'm angry" I replied "I'm angry that you moved me away. That we came _here_ of all places, and that you want me to make friends, be social and go to school. I'm angry that you want me to be _normal_. I thought you understood. You said so yourself that I'm not a child and that I never will be. So why are you treating me like one?"

The Soldiers face morphed into that of recognition and regret. He knows that he's contradicting himself "I know what I said that day, and – I was wrong. You do need to know what it feels like be _young_. To worry about homework and what's happening on the weekend. You shouldn't be waiting around for someone to come and take you away. You should know what it feels like to be carefree. I realise you're far from _ordinary_ , but we have to make up for it – otherwise what's the point of all this?"

When the Soldier stopped speaking, I'd slumped in my chair a little as I gazed into his steel blue eyes. He's doing all of this for me. He could have left me on my own or dropped me off to be someone else's problem, but he didn't. Instead he's staying by my side through all of it. The least I could do is do my own part. Eyeing the Soldiers shifting form, my body was suddenly quick to lean forward before I could catch myself, and I.

* * *

 **To be continued**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

The contrasting cold and warmth of both his hands held the sides of my face. It was only after a brief few seconds when he gently tried to push me away. Wrapping my arms around neck, I kissed him harder as I searched for the fleeting response that he first gave me. I don't know if this is a mistake, but if it is then there's no turning back now.

Leaning back, the Soldier succeeded in separating us but his hands still remained on my heated cheeks and I watched as his face mixed with several emotions. I don't know what he's feeling and it makes me feel confused and left in the dark. Letting go of me, the Soldier got up from his crouched position on the floor and walked out of the room.

A moment later I heard his bedroom door sound shut with a thud. I'm beginning to regret my actions. Turning in my chair, I glanced at my homework before getting up and grabbing a few clothes before rushing off into the privacy of the bathroom.

Locking the door behind me, my hands clutched the sink basin as I stared into the mirror. It was a moment of unclearness. I wasn't thinking. Shaking my head, I turned to the shower over bathtub and pulled back the milky white curtain to twist on the tap. Listening to the spray of water as it filled the small room, steam soon began to fog the air around me.

Stripping myself and climbing in, I winced but didn't care as the hot water ran down my skin. I need a few minutes to think to myself uninterrupted. Standing in the ceramic white tub, I closed my eyes as I let the water run through my hair and down my body. I was starting to relax when a knock echoed "Katya?" spoke the Soldier but I didn't answer "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" I called out loud enough that he'd hear.

"When you get out we need to talk" he said through the door.

A moment past and I assumed he'd left as I hadn't heard him speak again. Slowly washing my hair and body I wanted to savour the peace before what's to happen. Turning off the water, I climbed out and dried myself before dressing. Wiping off the steam from the mirror, I looked at myself as droplets of water dripped from the tips of my brown hair to wet my shirt. I took a deep breath in before leaving the bathroom.

Looking around in the top level of the house, I couldn't manage to fine the Soldier which meant he must be downstairs. I couldn't help but think that this is all being drawn out. Making my way down the steps, the last plank creaked to announce my presence. Standing a few steps away from the island counter of the kitchen, the Soldier stood leaning on the bench with his hands and his head bowed down a little.

His eyes flickered up and landed on me. I wanted to shrivel up and disappear. I hate feeling vulnerable to anyone, including myself. Keeping my eyes trained down to the ground, I listened to his voice as he spoke softly "Do want to tell me why?"

I don't know what else to say "I wasn't thinking" it was an irrational action that I wasn't quite sure was supposed to happen.

I heard shuffling of feet but didn't look up "Come here" he instructed. It took me a few seconds to make my legs move before I walked toward him. Opening the draw, the Soldier handed me a vegetable peeler "Help me" he said before grabbing a pile of mixed vegetables and placing them into the sink. Following along, I peeled and washed them in silence as I was too _afraid_ to speak.

There were small sounds of pots and pans clanging behind me. When I finished, I called over my shoulder in a whisper "I'm done"

Placing down the peeler, I was about to move away when the warmth of a body enveloped me from behind. Watching as both a metal and flesh hand reached around me to grab the vegetables, my body instantly seized stiff a little. The scenario reminded me of a frightened rabbit waiting for the fox to pass by without notice.

"Thank you" he said.

I felt the rumble of the Soldiers voice from his chest and waited for him to leave before darting off to the safety of my room. Sitting down at my desk, my forearms rested against the cold wood as my mind drifted off to an unknown void. Shaking my head, I started on my homework that I'd previously abandoned. This needed to be done regardless of personal interference. Once I finish then, then I'll have dinner and got to bed.

Placing the piece of physics homework into my book, I made my way down stairs. The Soldier should be near finished preparing dinner by now. Setting the table for two, I sat quietly by myself until he was done. Watching as he fed the tea towel into one of the cabinet handles, he picked up the two plates and walked over to place them down before taking a seat on the opposite side of the table.

I heard nothing but the scrap of knives and forks as we ate in silence "Did you do anything today?" I asked, trying to break the silence.

Looking up from his meal, the Soldier replied "Running errands" I looked away from him and placed down my cutlery. Suddenly I'm not so hungry anymore "How was your first day at school? Did you meet anyone?"

I shook my head "No. I didn't meet anyone and school was satisfactory"

The Soldier paused for a moment before finishing his meal and leaning back in his chair. Picking up the glass of water, he took a gulp as we were drawn back into the realm of silence. It wasn't long before my chair squeaked along the floor boards as I got up from my seat and took my plate into the kitchen. Scrapping the small excess of food into the bin, I placed the dirty plate into the dishwasher.

"Goodnight" I muttered as walked past the Soldier and up the stairs. I'm not going to sit at that table a second longer. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I turned off the lights and climbed in-between the soft sheets before slowly drifting off to sleep.

* * *

I woke the next morning earlier than usual and decided it would be better if I left the house before the Soldier woke up. Dressing and eating, I closed the front door quietly before making my way down the footpath. Taking my time, there's no rush and I took small relaxed steps toward the school; the summer breeze flowing through my hair. Arriving in a lazy half an hour, I walked up the empty and almost abandoned front steps of the entrance. There's only a handful of people arriving as of now, but soon enough there'll be the familiar swarm.

Pushing through the double doors, I made my way down the deserted corridor before stopping at my light blue locker. Opening the dinted metal storage box, I started to put away and collect anything I needed for the day "Your Amelia, right?" came an unknown voice to my right.

My guard instantly raised as I turned, but it faulted when I saw it to be only a girl my age. Standing in jeans and a dark green blouse, I glanced her up and down. She held a sort of familiarity about her. It has something to do with her free flowing orange locks of hair. Holding a stack of books and papers, she managed to reach out her hand in greeting.

"I meant to introduce myself yesterday but I was a little busy. I'm Cassidy" she said with a smile as I shook her hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you" retrieving my hand, I watched as she shuffled on the spot as to try and balance the weight she's carrying "Do you need help?" I asked with a gesture to the books.

Nodding her head eagerly, Cassidy handed me three thick text books "That would be great" she pointed down the corridor "I have to take these to Chemistry morning class" signalling for her to lead the way, we continued down the hall next to each other.

Opening the door to one of the rooms, three other students that I didn't recognise stood in lab coats and goggles as they fiddled with their experiments. Storing the books on a mounted shelf, I turned back around to follow Cassidy into the hallway "Why are you here so early?" I asked.

"Oh" she said with a swatted of her hand "I just help out. Plus, I go to catch-up session with Miss Baker before school. It helps me get all my work done. I'm a real mess when it comes to _time management_ " nodding my head, we'd stopped in the middle of the main corridor. More people had filed in and the noise is starting to pick up. I heard Cassidy speak "Do you know where you need to go?"

"Yes" I replied "It was nice meeting you" I added before leaving for my first class of the day.

* * *

The first lesson I had to endure this morning was gruelling to say the least, and it wasn't because of misunderstanding of what the woman was teaching. It was purely the fact her voice is incredibly high pitched and whiny, which had left me with a thumping headache. A headache that I most certainly don't need.

Focusing on the crunch of lettuce leafs in my mouth, I chewed away on my food with little to no emotion on my face. Scanning the surrounding area, the noise inside of the cafeteria is incredibly loud and a little overbearing. I hated it.

Sighing to myself as boys in matching jerseys tackled each other with smiles and manly laughs, I couldn't help but also snicker at the group of blond girls who giggled femininely and whispered amongst each other.

Sitting alone on the left side closest to the door, no one had yet to approach me up until now "Amelia" greeted Cassidy as she sat down in front of me, her orange hair fuzzed around her face "I finally found you" she added with a smile. I didn't say a word in response as she began to eat the various foods on her tray "How was your morning? Are you settling in well?"

"Good and yes, I am" grabbing the small carton of milk, I took a sip before glancing around "Where are your friends?" I asked, curious as to why Cassidy had chosen to sit with me. Normally people don't stray far from the familiar.

Stopping mid-bite, Cassidy froze before swallowing to then stare down at her tray. I could instantly see I'd struck a nerve of some description "I don't have any. I mean, I have people that I talk to" she justified "But they usually just want something from me"

Blurting out my question, it didn't dawn on me until after I'd spoken that it might have come across as rude "Is there something wrong with you?" to me it was only a simple question, but the people around me are more sensitive than what I'm used to.

Shrugging her shoulders, Cassidy placed down her spoon and yogurt before looking up at me with her green eyes "Not that I know of" she replied "I'm just, not very attractive or popular like those other girls" she said with gesture over her shoulder. Following the line of site, I saw the same group of petite blondes with their faces thickly covered with cosmetics.

"They don't accept you because you're not attractive?" I restated. I wanted to scoff at the petty excuse. I'd found yet another reason why I don't want to be a part of this new society.

Cassidy nodded her head in agreement. Looking the red head over again, I took in her appearance. Slightly overweight, she doesn't dress like most female teenagers; with provocative clothing and cosmetics. Instead, Cassidy belongs to the small faction that prefers many layers and little alteration with her appearance.

Wandering my eyes along her face, I found small faint red patches on her pale while freckled cheeks. Continuing down her profile, there's a small scar resting on her chin; most likely a childhood injury. When I finally finished my observation, I found that besides the slight deformity of the scar on her chin, there's nothing that would lead me to believe she's _unattractive_.

"You look like you're in deep thought" spoke Cassidy before shaking her head with a saddened expression "You probably agree, and that's fine"

I cut her off.

"Where I come from, we don't linger on things as vain as beauty or attractiveness. It doesn't define who we are or what we're capable of, and it never should" smiling, Cassidy took my statement as a compliment as I'd intended it be.

She smiled "Thank you Amelia"


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Closing the front door of the house, I'd finally arrived home to peace and quiet. Letting out a breath of air, I dropped my bag onto the floor next to the coat hanger before making my way into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I searched around for something to quench my thirst and found a half full carton of orange juice. Clutching it in my hands, I closed the fridge with a gasp as I instantly saw the Soldier standing on the other side.

"When did you get home?" he questioned casually before taking the juice carton from my hand.

"Not long ago. Didn't you hear me?" I replied while giving him a once over. Slightly sweaty, his hair looked as if he's been out in the wind. What had he been doing today?

The Soldier shook his head and nodded to the back door "I was doing something outside" he replied.

Opening the carton, he took large gulps before walking off and up the stairs. Raising an eyebrow, I ignored him and peered around, contemplating on what I'm going to do with my spare time. I don't have any homework and I don't have any chores. Life seems to be utterly boring at the moment. Grabbing my school bag from the front, I jogged upstairs and listened to the sound of running water. He's showering.

Entering into my bedroom, I sat down my bag and took off my shoes and socks. Sitting down at my desk, I rested my forehead against my arms as they folded in front of me. Suddenly I feel exhausted both mentally and physically. Falling asleep for an hour, I woke up to a warm hand gently rubbing my back. I looked to the side to see the Soldier standing next to me with a plate of food.

"Eat" he instructed while placing down the food "Then you can go to sleep"

"I'm not hungry" I said while getting up and walking past him to the shower. I hadn't forgotten the scenario between us two, and I doubt I ever would. It's still fresh in my mind. Shutting the white door to the bathroom, I stripped and climbed into the descending warmth of the water.

Taking my time to finish, I headed back into my room to find that the Soldier had gone but the food still remained. Ignoring the dish, I grabbed it and headed down stairs. Coming to a halt at the bottom, the Soldier sat on his usual seat at the dinner table. He's barely touched his food and his right hand held his head in a troubled sort of way.

"What's wrong?" I asked just above a whisper. I hardly ever see him like this.

Looking up, he watched me walk to the kitchen and wrap the uneaten food "Don't worry about it" he grunted before getting up with a scrape of his chair and marching back up to his room. Ever since we moved here the Soldiers been doing that; stalking back into his bedroom like a bear to its cave.

Pushing the fridge door shut, it slammed a little harder than intended because of my anger. Turning around, I marched up after him. And as I took the few remaining steps to his door, the hall began to oddly stretch and time seemed to slow. What am I going to say to him? Would I scream and yell, or would I try and be civil?

Stopping at the last step, I collected myself and my emotions. I don't want to argue with the Soldier anymore, and I mean it. Turning the door knob quietly, I jarred it open ready to speak when I froze. I'd forgotten that I've never seen his room until now, and it's odd to say the least. There's no bedframe, just a mattress on the floor with a few thin blankets and a pillow. There's a desk pushed up against the wall with various papers scattered all over, and above it rests a corkboard with a map. There's photos pinned to it, and it's all tied together with red string.

"What are you doing in here?" demanded the Soldier with a firm tone as he realised my intrusion. I was able to take another quick glance around when he roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room; shutting the door behind him "You weren't supposed to see any of that" he spoke with anger.

I wrenched my arm from his grip and the tightness of his grip left red imprints. Narrowing my eyes, I looked at the Soldier and pointed behind him "What is that?" I demanded.

"Nothing that you need to concern yourself with" he retorted. Spinning me around, he pushed me with his metal hand; trying to get me to leave. The Soldier expected me to give up so easily, but I refuse to do what he wanted.

I turned back around "Tell me what that is. What did I just see?" I demanded once again.

He crossed his arms and the metal prosthetic glinted "Turn around and leave Katya. I'm not going to tell you" he replied.

"I'm not going anywhere until you answer me"

The Soldier uncrossed his arms with a sour look before turning around and heading back into his bedroom. The door slammed in my face. Standing in the hallway alone and boggled, I was almost beginning to fume. How hard was it to tell me? I stood there for a minute more before deciding to leave back to my own room.

* * *

Waking up the next morning expecting to go to school, it'd dawned on me during the third bite of my apple that there aren't any classes today. It's the weekend. Finishing my fruit, I disposed of the core into the bin before pulling on my jogging shoes and making my way out of the house. I decided I'm not going to wait around the house all day long, and instead I'm going to take a walk. To where I don't know, but anywhere is better than back there.

Winding and twisting my way through several streets, I ended up on a strip of road where all the ships are located. Taking my time to look around, I saw a group of teenagers walk toward a large building called _WestField Mall_. I decided to follow their lead and I eventually ended up inside of a massive complex filled with even more shops; including food, clothing and homeware.

In all my life I've never seen anything so extraordinary. There's hundreds of people surrounding me, all of which are carrying bags with different logos or drinking various drinks. Bumping me in the shoulder, a busy women with a wailing toddler gave me a glare as I stood in her way. Moving to the side, I started to make my way around the enormous lay out.

Taking a look through the shops, there's an abundance of things I never knew existed; especially technology wise. For an hour I'd fiddled around with display phone at a store. I remember back before I was put into cryo, the closet thing that came to this device was a rotary dial. But now, all you have to do is _touch_ the screen. The phone would even talk to you.

Moving on, I stood in a bookstore and scanned the isle for only a few minutes before a familiar false named was called in my direction "Amelia" I turned my attention to see a flurry of red hair "What brings you here?" asked Cassidy.

"I was looking for a book" I replied and gestured "The Second World War"

She nodded her head and gave an instant look of concentration while she shuffled through the section "Well, we have a few. What were you looking for specifically?"

"In general, everything" I answered. In honesty, I don't know much about the Second World War. It was one of the only books the Facility never provided for us to read. When finding bits of information later on, I assumed it had something to do with Captain America and the destruction he'd caused Hydra.

I briefly looked over at Cassidy to see she stood in a uniform and name tag. I assumed that she must work here. The information didn't come as a surprise being the type of person she is. However, the thought made me thing back to the old days. Women didn't usually have jobs as it was the man's duty to provide for his wife and children. It's another thing time has changed.

Clearing my head, Cassidy pulled out a thick book and handed it to me. Looking over it, I nodded with satisfaction of the content "This is good"

"Glad I could help" she said with a smile "Come on. I'll put it through for you" following the red head over to the register, she scanned the book through and I paid the amount "Are you doing anything tomorrow?" she asked with a tilt of her head and slightly shy face.

"No. Why?"

"I was wondering if maybe I could come over and, I don't know. Hang out?" she said the last part with a squeak of hope. I looked her up and down. I'm not sure about the request. We've only had small encounters so far, and yet she's already insinuating us as friends. But then again, it would be an advantage for me if she did come over. It would stop the Soldier from bickering about the subject.

I nodded my head "Alright" I grabbed a nearby pen and wrote the address before giving it to her "You can arrive whenever you'd like" grabbing the book, I made my way out of the complex and toward home.

Arriving just over half an hour later, the Soldier was far from pleased when I walked through the front door "The least you could have done was told me where you were going!" he bellowed with anger. Apparently he's been worried for the last three hours when he found that I wasn't in my room.

"What did you want me to do? Slip a note under your door?" I retorted "You _never_ talk to me, and when you do your always yelling at me. I'm _sorry_ I don't tell you where I am every second of everyday!"

"You're insufferable!" he said while throwing his hands in the air "After everything I tell you, nothing seems to get it through your skull that you're _not_ safe. Anything would have been better than you disappearing on me without a word" he huffed "We might have moved Alena, but your life is still endanger"

"Endanger from what?" I questioned "Hydra? S.H.I.E.L.D? What do you think they're going to do? Storm into the neighbourhood. It's been weeks since we left Wakanda. If anyone wanted to do anything, then they would have done it by now" I held the book I bought tight to my chest as I barged past him to head up to my room.

Dumping the heavy book onto the desk, I sprawled down on the bed and rested my face into the pillow. Tightly scrunching the fabric in my hands, I wanted yell and scream. Turning my head to face the wall, I heard a heavy set of footsteps move up the stairs and stop at the open entrance of my room. I could hear the Soldier stepping closer but I didn't acknowledge him when he sat on the edge of the mattress.

He sighed "I'm sorry"

I didn't reply and he shifted forward. I thought he was going to leave when I felt him lift me up enough to slip in underneath my body. I squirmed in the Soldiers hold as he pulled me up to lay back against his chest, but he only held me still and close. I felt warm lips pressed on the top of my head and on my temple.

"I'm sorry" he repeated. I didn't say anything as I sat in his arms. I know he means it. He always does.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Groaning as I sat up in bed, a sore ache had formed in my lower back from the odd position I'd slept in. Glancing around, I noticed by the lack of extra warmth and body that the Soldier must have left back to his own room during the night. Cracking my joints, I tossed off the blanket and walked into the bathroom to get ready.

Thinking back to last night, I'm happy that we didn't part angry on angry terms; which happens more often than not. But I know that it was a serious situation and I should have listened. I should have told him when I'd left and where I was going. I know that we still aren't in the clear. I'm becoming too reckless and careless – too relaxed.

I stopped the movement of the toothbrush when I heard the distinct faint sizzling of food from down stairs, the smell is already wafting under my nose. Wincing at the sting of the toothpaste as it burnt my tongue, I quickly spat it out and gargled with water before heading down into the kitchen. Sniffing the air, I sat down at the island counter and watched as the Soldier cooked breakfast on the stove.

"Good morning" he greeted without having to look over his shoulder.

"Good morning" I replied as he started to plate strips of bacon and eggs. My mouth watered at the flavoursome site.

Leaning on the opposite side of the bench, we ate in relative silent before I spoke up "A girl named Cassidy, she'll be coming over today"

The Soldier looked at me "Is she a friend?"

"Yes, she's a friend" I finished the last bite of my meal before getting up. Placing my dish in the machine, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a sip. I assumed this moment would be as good as any "Will you tell me?" I asked softy.

The Soldier knitted his brows together as he navigated around the kitchen "Tell you what?" he asked before leaning against the counter with his arms crossed and eyes pinned onto me.

"About what's inside of your room" I clarified. It's been bothering me.

"I told you already. You don't need to know about what's in there"

"Does it have anything to do with me?" I pried before he had the chance to walk away.

He gave me a stern look that told me to drop the subject, but I'm not going to "Yes" he answered simply as he walked toward the stove and grabbed the pans and dirty instruments he'd used to cook breakfast before putting them away in the dishwasher. I can tell the Soldiers going to do what he always does; buys himself to avoid the question.

"If that's true then I have a right to know" I argued. He heaved a sigh and placed down my water bottle "Please" I begged "Please tell what you're doing. I just want to know"

"No" he said with a tone of finality "It's not the right time. You're not ready, and I'm not sure you ever will be" bowing my head with a defeated look, it's clear that he isn't going to tell me anything I wanted to know "I'll be outside if you need me"

* * *

After a small peculiar knocked sounded on the front door, I'd opened it to be greeted by the flushed faced of Cassidy. Dressed in a blue printed top and jeans, she carried a black bag over her shoulder. I eyed her shuffling body up and down before asking "What's wrong?" I couldn't find anything obvious.

Opening and closing her mouth, the Cassidy couldn't form words so she pointed behind her "Does your dad always wash the car without a shirt on?" she asked with a pitched squeak. Her cheeks turned redder than before and I looked at her with a confused expression. What?

Peeking out the door, I turned my head to see the Soldier standing on the driveway with a green hose. Strands of hair clung to his face in a damp sort of way as he continued to spray water onto the soapy four-wheel drive. Either oblivious to our attention or ignoring us, he didn't bother to say anything.

From this distance, I could see wet patches on his jeans and his shirt lay discarded on the ground in a soaking pile of fabric. I could only assume there must have been some sort of incident with the hose "No" I eventually answered "He doesn't" turning my attention back to Cassidy, I stepped back and to the side "Please, come in"

She nodded her head furiously before stepping inside. I can tell that she's nervous "Ugh. Did you want to do anything in particular?" she asked before scratching the back of her neck; a clear sign of being uncomfortable.

"No I didn't. What would _you_ like to do?" I didn't think this far ahead when I'd agreed to her proposal yesterday, and there isn't anything exciting in the house that I could think of.

"Do you have any games, or something fun?"

I shook my head. Games are for children. It's a complete waste of time. Feeling an awkward tension bubble in the air, a light sheen of sweat had formed on her forehead as she played with the strap on her bag "I'm sorry" she suddenly apologised "I'm _new_ to all of this. No one's ever aloud me over to their house before. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do"

Listening as she rambled, the Soldier came through the front door and Cassidy's cheek flared to a blush as she caught site of the exposed torso of the man. I found the display both interesting and unintelligent. External appearance is nothing more than that, but that isn't to say I don't understand attraction. I suppose to me, nakedness isn't such a taboo subject as it is in the modern world.

Watching as the Soldier glanced at orange haired girl who now has her head bowed in embarrassment, he soon turned to walk up the stairs in silence. I heard a distinct sharp intake of breath as Cassidy must have seen the scars that marked his back amongst other things. After the Soldier had retreated from view, she spoke up in a curious whisper "What happened?"

"An accident in the army" I lied. Talking about war and violence usually makes a person seize with guilt and pity; Cassidy is no different as she nodded with a sad face.

Switching through one activity after another, it's been five hours and our _fun_ had eventually faded into me helping Cassidy with the work she still has due for school, along with the upcoming Mathematics Exam. When I first met the shy girl, Cassidy had told me she struggled with management and learning. I thought in my mind it wasn't anything serious. However, knowing what I know now, I'm finding myself to be wrong in that assumption.

Cassidy had absolutely _no_ idea what she's doing and I'm surprised how the education system allowed her to pass classes when she's this far behind. Sitting on the office chair in my room, Cassidy glared down at the formula I'd given her "I still don't understand" she whined. Pointing the flower print pen down onto the paper, she asked "Why can't we just do it this way?"

"In order to get the answer for _B_ , you need to us _A_. If you skip this part" I pointed down at the piece of paper "Then your answer will be incorrect and so will the rest of your data. Mister Glyson explained this on Friday" I watched as she scanned over it again with a dumbfounded look "It's a simple formula to calculate. Follow the instructions I gave you and you'll do well on your exam on Monday"

I glanced up at the small clock sitting on my bedside table "Yeah, I'll just study – I guess" nodding her head in self-assurance, she muttered "Yeah, that's it. Everything will be okay. No worries" a silent moment passed when Cassidy leapt from her seat and hurriedly shoved her belongings back into her bag "I didn't realise the time! I have to go. My mum gets angry if I'm not home before dark"

Guiding her back downstairs, Cassidy shrugged on her bag and adjusted the straps "Have a good afternoon" I said while opening the front door. Turning to me, my eyes widened when Cassidy latched on for a tight hug.

"Thank you so much. This means a lot" she said before letting go of me. I nodded my head and Cassidy looked at me with a bright eyes "I forgot to mention earlier. There's a parent, teacher interview this Tuesday. They told us ages ago but you weren't here, but just ask the Principal and she'll tell you everything"

"I will" I replied with a smile. Giving me a wide one of her own, Cassidy ran a hand through her fuzzy orange locks before starting her journey down the road.

Shutting the door with a small thud, I stood in place with my hand still on the knob "How did everything go? You two spent a lot of time together" spoke the Soldier as he walked down the stairs with a new set of clothes on "She seems nice – different than what I'd expected"

I followed him into the kitchen "Different? How so?"

Shrugging his shoulders, the Soldier opened the fridge door and grabbed a plum "She looks familiar" he said while closing the metallic door and taking a bite of the fruit. I know what he means.

"A coincidence" I uttered "And it wasn't as if I had a choice. She hasn't left me alone since the day she introduced herself"

"I thought you said you were friends" stated the Soldier as he gave me a sly look.

I sighed "She seems to have determined that we are, so I suppose it must be true" turning around, I headed upstairs before he could get another word out. Getting redressed into excising clothes, I grabbed my running shoes and sat down on a kitchen chair "Apparently there's interviews on Tuesday. I'll talk to the principal tomorrow and find out what it is" slipping my sneakers on, I tied the laces "Will you go?"

"Don't worry about talking to her. I already know and yes, I'll be going. There mandatory" he said "Especially since you've only been there for a short time"

Looking the Soldier up and down as he stood in the kitchen, I tried to imagine him sitting in a chair a little too small for him while he discussed my _education_. I found the thought a little difficult to stomach. It all seems a little too _fatherly_ , and it makes me uncomfortable. This isn't normal for someone like me and him.

Getting up from my seat, I nodded to the door "I'm going for a run"


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Glancing up from my exam paper, my eyes landed on the familiar red head a few seats over. I can see her face becoming paler as the time ticked down. Finishing half an hour earlier than the rest, I sat and listened to the sound of scribbling pens and the tapping buttons of calculators. A raspy cough sounded from the front of the room and I diverted my attention to the old man sitting behind his desk. Mister Glyson stood up with a groan of his chair.

"Alright everyone, times up. Hand in your paper on the way out" listening as the bell signalled for lunch, a few sighs echoed out into the classroom.

Getting up from my seat, I picked up my bag and walked toward the desk. Placing down the sheets of paper on the growing pile, I exited the room and followed the crowd to the cafeteria "Amelia! Wait up" I slowed down at the sound of Cassidy voice. Walking beside me, she sighed in relief "I'm so glad that's finally over"

I looked at her and asked "Did you do well?"

"Well" she started off none so confidently as we both lined up at the lunch que "I don't know about that, but maybe I did. How about you?" Cassidy laughed to herself before I had the chance to answer "What am I saying? You're the smartest person I've ever met. I don't even know why you're here at this school. With your brains you should be going to one of those private fancy places"

After paying for our food, we both walked over and sat down at our usual table "I believe everyone has an equal chance of becoming successful. It doesn't matter what school you attend. If you don't want to learn that that's your fault. Don't blame anyone but yourself" Cassidy nodded her head in agreement before taking a bite of her sandwich.

" _Attention. Amelia Corvine, please go to the principal's office now. Amelia Corvine, principals office now please"_

Stopping mid-chew, I glanced up at the speaker above the door as it bellowed my name. Looking at Cassidy, she shrugged her shoulders as I got up and grabbed my tray. Placing it onto the ledge above the garbage bin, I headed down the hallway and turned left into the familiar waiting room before knocking on the door. Miss Harrison's voice sounded on the other side.

Stepping into the office, the principal gestured to chair "Please, take a seat. You're not in trouble. I'd just like to go over tomorrow night" I sat down and gave the blonde my attention "Now, I sent a letter to your guardian letting him know of the details. It's nothing to worry about, so please don't stress" she spoke with a friendly chuckle "All that's going to happen is we'll all sit down and go over how your doing so far. I know you haven't been here for very long, but it's mandatory that we inform your legal guardian how you're progressing. Sound good?"

"Yes, thank you. That sounds good" I replied with a smile "Is there anything else?"

"Yes actually" she leant in a little "How are you getting along here at school? I know you're more than capable in your classes, but I was wondering more along the lines of socially. Have you made any friends?"

I wanted to snicker "Yes, I've made a friend. Her name is Cassidy" I caught myself in time as I soon realised that I don't know her last name "She has red hair" I added.

Miss Harrison gave me a surprised look "Cassidy Michaels" she clarified "She's a very lovely person. How are two getting along?"

"We're getting along just fine. She came to my house on Sunday" I added, giving the extra information. The principal is asking too many questions and I want to leave. I have more important things to be doing than sit here and be counselled on my social life.

"That's fantastic to hear Amelia. Well, that's all I wanted to talk about" she said with a smile as I stood up and grabbed my bag "Have a good rest of the day and I'll see you tomorrow night"

* * *

The rest of the day had gone smoothly after the talk with the principal. Going on an afternoon jog after returning home, my breaths are controlled as my arms swung a little in motion. Glancing up at the sky, I watched as it formed a swirl of orange, pinks and blues. It was a reminder of how beautiful I knew the world could be.

Slowly lowering in the sky, the sun is starting to set which meant I needed to head home soon. Finishing up the last block, I made my way back. Turning left, I slowed down along the footpath as I came to the start of my street. I nodded as Miss Ferguson, an old woman, stood watering her petunias. Waving her thin hand in my direction, she smiled wide "Afternoon dear"

"Afternoon Miss Ferguson" I replied.

Walking past her house and a few more others, I made my way up the driveway and into the house. Heading into the kitchen, I made a glass of water and took small sips "Your back" stated the Soldier as he went and sat at the kitchen table. Nodding my head, I eyed the instrument in his hands.

"What are you doing?" I squinted in his direction. Holding a pair of scissors, the Soldier ran his fingers through his brown locks of hair.

"Come here" he said while waving me over with his metal hand. I moved to stand in front of him "I want you to cut my hair" grabbing my hand, he handed me the scissors "Just don't cut it too short"

I glanced from the scissors and back to the Soldier. I wondered if he was joking for a moment, but I found no sign of trickery. Letting out a shaky breath, I made my way around to stand behind him. Looking of his hair, I was hesitant as I touch the few strands; combing my fingers through the surprisingly soft locks. Starting, I snipped the first few bits and watched as the hair dropped down to the floor.

It took me longer than I thought it would to cut his hair, as I wanted to make sure I did it just right. Discovering the length I liked, I trimmed away until the rest was even and neat. Not too short but not too long. I found my hands designing it to be the way he _used_ to look. When reading the book on the Second World War, I'd discovered some old photos of the Soldier. Including one of him in his army uniform, and another of him standing beside Captain America with a smile on his face.

"Stay here" I instructed.

Placing down the scissors, he joked "You didn't mess it up did you?"

"Trust me" I said.

Quickly jogging upstairs and into the bathroom, I grabbed a razor and shaving foam. Grabbing a bowl of water, I went back to the Soldier and sprayed some cream into my hand and patted it over the stubble along his jaw. Putting the can down, I held the razor up and went to start shaving when his metal hand reached up and wrapped around my wrist. Wincing from the tight grip, I looked at him and watched as his adams apple bobbed and his eyes glistened with awareness.

"Trust me" I repeated softly to reassure him that it's safe.

Taking a minute to respond, the Soldier slowly unwrapped his metal fingers and I pushed the razor closer to his face. Running it down, I watched as the blade collected foam as it travelled along his skin. Making swift and careful work, I noticed he hadn't taken his eyes off of me the whole time. Putting down the razor when I was finished, I grabbed a clean towel and wiped his face.

Stand back to admire the Soldier as he sat before me, a frown formed on my face. I couldn't help but feel a little sad. For some reason, I felt as if I was staring at a ghost of a man. I'd made him look like the James Barnes he once was, but we all know that isn't who he is. The knowledge made my stomach feel unsettled.

The Soldier gave a light cough "How do I look?"

I looked over his face once more before staring into the depth of his blue eyes. It's the one thing that couldn't be changed. The one thing that told you who he really is "Not who are, but who you were meant to be" I replied. He gave me a quizzical look before I turned and left upstairs.

* * *

Heading to school the next day, the Soldier didn't emerge from his room like usual during the morning. Not bother to knock or try to enter his room, I left without a word. When arriving at school, I went along with the usual loud bustle of the day's work. Exchanging few words with Cassidy as we barely spend time together other than lunch.

Walking down the familiar footpath back to home, my eyes focused on the ground. Turning my head, Miss Ferguson stood out on her lawn on the other side of the white picket fence. Instead of watering, she stood in a blue gown with a faded yellow apron while trimming the plants. Looking up from the garden, her eyes went wide as she waved me over.

I approached with a curious look "Is everything alright Miss Ferguson?"

"I'm not so sure" she said while standing near the fence "The most peculiar thing happened this morning"

I waited for a response but she'd zoned out "What happened?"

She looked around before talking a little quieter "Well, I was out getting the paper when I saw – _him_ "

I gave a confused expression. The description isn't very elaborate "Who's _him_?" I asked. It could be anyone. A burglar. The postman. A neighbour.

"Bucky" she said "I saw Bucky"

"Bucky?" I repeated. I wanted to make sure I'd heard correctly and that I wasn't being deceived. Nodding her head with a smile, I could see in her eyes she's recalling a fond memory.

"I remember seeing him when I was a young girl, like yourself. He was so handsome" she fluttered out "You see, my father owned a barber shop in Brooklyn. I was riding home on my bike one day when I dropped in to see him, and there he was! Dressed in his green uniform" she laughed "He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. Hard to forget a face when you think you've fallen in love. Silly me"

There was a pause of silence as I let it all sink in "You saw this _Bucky_ when you were sixteen, and you think that the man you saw today is him?" I questioned. It's a normal response. I couldn't tell Miss Ferguson that it who she saw is most likely the very same person she'd met all those years ago.

"Yes" she smiled "Yes, it has to be. I _saw_ him"

I gave a light sigh before diverting the subject "And what happened to him, after the day you first met?"

"Well, we never talked. But my father told me that he stops by the shop every month like clockwork. He said that he has to look good for the misses" she paused before adding "It was a foolish thing, but I admit I was jealous when he said that. I kept thinking to myself that, whoever she was, she's the luckiest girl in the world to have a man like him – but beside that day, it was the last I saw him"

I could only assumed "He left for the war"

Miss Ferguson nodded in agreement as she played with a flower petal between her wrinkled fingers "Yes dear. He left – but he came back, didn't he? I know. I know I saw him earlier this morning, coming out of that house and walking down this street. I know what I saw" she repeated.

I realised something. Miss Ferguson said that he'd left early this morning, but he didn't take the car. Which means that he was gone before I got up this for school, and he didn't want me to know about it. I had to make sure "Exactly how early this morning did you see him?"


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Closing the front door behind me, I pressed my back up against the warm wood. Dropping my bag quietly onto the floor, I wiped my hand down my face with a sigh. After Miss Ferguson told me what time the Soldier had left this morning, my thoughts had been lost in my mind. Apparently he'd gone several hours ahead of me, but came home not long ago. Which means that he's somewhere in the house, waiting for me to announce my return.

Marching up the stairs, I hustled into my room before he could realise I was home. Sitting at my desk, I stared at the blank white wall in front of me; raking my brain for answers. Trying to come up with an explanation as to why he's leaving all day and not telling me. Overwhelming myself with the possibilities, I don't know which to believe or if any of them are true.

Getting up from my chair, I stripped off all of my clothing and changed into fresh ones. I still have to get ready for the interview tonight. Looking myself up and down in the full length mirror in the corner, I found my distraught face staring right back at me. I don't feel like going anywhere tonight. The calm light energy I once had is now long gone.

Opening the door to my room, I went to step out but was met with the firm impact of the Soldiers fabric clad chest. Not looking up to meet his eye, he spoke before taking a step back "Wasn't sure if you were home or not"

"I just got back" I replied while darting past him and down the stairs.

Shaking my head, I should have asked the Soldier right then and there. I should have pounced at the chance to argue about why he'd left this morning, but I didn't. If the Soldiers keeping it a secret from me then there's no point in trying to get him to tell me. I know he won't. He hasn't for anything else. It would be better if I acted as if I didn't know anything.

Listening to his footsteps as he came after me, I opened the fridge for something to eat but found nothing. Our resources in food are dwindling, which means we'll have to go shopping sooner rather than later. Closing the door, I turned around to find the Soldier standing near the dining table as he tied a dark blue tie around his neck. I hadn't realised he'd changed into an oddly professional look of dress pants and an office shirt. His newly cut hair had also been styled back with gel.

"I know it's early" he said, not looking up as he pulled the knot "But I thought it would be a good idea if we got dinner before we headed to the school" waiting for an answer, he added "Where not due for the appointment until six-thirty"

"What happened to you not liking me going to public places?" I questioned. Since the incident with my outing at the mall, the Soldier had made it clear I wasn't to go out in public again. That there's too many people who could see me; too many people watching. He wants to keep me safe and that means keeping me out of site; for the most part.

He nodded his head "I changed my mind and beside, we have no food in the house"

Looking at me from across the kitchen, I came to like the idea he'd proposed "Alright"

"Good. Are you ready?" he asked while shrugging on his matching jacket and black leather glove to hide his metal hand.

"Ready" I replied.

Driving into the city, it didn't take us very long to get to our destination. Looking over the mass of buildings around me, I gave a faint but genuine smile as the Soldier opened my door before getting out. Breathing in a breath of fresh air, a shiver ran down my spine as he placed a hand on my lower back while guiding me into the restaurant.

Looking over the odd brick building, you could hardly tell it was of anything importance from the outside. However, after walking in I immediately changed my mind. I gathered the Soldier noticed as he gave me a low chuckle "This used to be a place I would go to – in my younger days, of course. They've done a good job keeping it going, even though it's a little different than it used to be"

Glancing around the large open plan restaurant, I found it to have a cozzie and inviting feel; especially with the large crystal chandelier balancing above. It illuminated the room with a soft dim glow. Looking to my left, I sifted over the various couples as they sat at white cloth covered tables. Even at this early hour there's still a few people.

Watching as they laughed and smiled, I listened to the distinct clink of dazzling glasses and silverware. Looking to my right, however, is a different story as that side of the room appeared to be older; in some mysterious way. A handful of couples swayed on the dance floor as a waft of jazz music filled the air.

A thin woman in her mid-thirties sang on the stage with an elegant move of her cherry red lips "Not many people can sing like that anymore" spoke the Soldier next to me as he nodded to the woman "I miss it"

After finding a seat, we ordered our meals. As usual I didn't realise what I was missing out of until he waiter had given us the exotic menu of delicious foods; most of which I'd never heard of before. Resting at the table after we were done, we'd eaten in relative silence. I didn't bring up my thoughts from earlier.

Glancing back around the room, I picked up my glass of water and took a sip before asked "Do you know how to dance?"

The Soldier paused before giving a short nod. Taking a mouthful of his own drink, the beverage wasn't water but whisky "I do, but I'm a bit out of practice" he admitted while placing down the glass "Beside, dancing in this century – well" he said with a chuckle "It's not exactly how I remember"

"Would you teach me?" I asked and his attention focused on me "The _old_ way"

I didn't want to give the Soldier a hopeful look, but I know that's what I'm expressing. There aren't many things I've done with my life, but the least I could do is know how to dance properly. Shifting in his seat, I can tell that he's uncomfortable with my request. I don't know as to why. It isn't outrageous. It's a simple thing and I gather it wouldn't take me very long to learn. So why does he look so pained?

"You don't have to" I then added.

"No" he said with light shake of his head "It's not that I don't want to. It's just" I watched as he lowered his eyes and his jaw clenched. Leaning back in my chair, I looked confused. I don't know what to say or do. Suddenly I felt a leather glove brush against my hand as it rested on the table "I'll teach you, one day" he said.

I nodded.

* * *

Parking the car out the front of the school, the lights lit up the building with a bright glow. Getting out of the car, I waited for the Soldier and we walked in together. Pushing through the doors, we were instantly enveloped with the sound of people talking amongst each other. Lining the corridor, teenagers and their parents waited as fellow students came and went through several of the classroom doors.

Ignoring some of the blatant stares as parents looked up to see us walked past, I focused on finding the principal in the mass of the crowd. Eventually finding her, she stood conversing with one of the mother before glancing over with a white toothed smile. She called out my name "Amelia"

As the blonde walked over to us, I felt the Soldier press closer to me from behind "Who is she?" he asked with a whisper in my ear. I felt his hands resting on my shoulders.

"The principal, Miss Harrison" I replied.

Stopping in front of us, I felt the Soldiers hands on my shoulders disappear "I'm glad you could make it" her blue eyes trailed behind me and they lit up with surprise "Is this your guardian?" I could only assume she was expecting someone much older and less attractive.

"Nathan" replied the Soldier as he stepped to stand beside me "It's a pleasure to meet you. Amelia's told me a lot about you"

I internally rolled my eyes as I watched her cheeks tinge a little with a pink blush. I noticed how she discreetly looked the Soldier up and down and how her pupils dilated. I wanted to scowl at the woman "I hope there all good things" she replied with a small giggle "Right this way" she gestured.

My chest felt heavy as I felt an unreasonable moment take hold of me. I feel protective and undeniably _jealous_. Something I've never felt before. Something I've never _needed_ to feel. Shaking out of my thoughts and emotions, we followed her into the office. Sitting down on the two seats, the principal tucked herself in behind her mahogany desk.

"Well, Nathan, I'm glad to say that Amelia is one of our finest students this high school has ever had the pleasure of enrolling" she said "I'm sure you're very proud to hear that"

The Soldier nodded his head and looked me in the eye "Of course. I'm very proud of her achievements" he turned back to the principal. Getting comfortable in the chair, I could tell this is going to be a very long interview, and night in general.

Waiting as the conversation ticked on, I nodded and answered to all the questions I had to. Now all I'm doing is sitting here as a third party while Miss Harrison continued to not-so-inconspicuously flirt with the Soldier. Snickering to myself, I wonder what would happen if she ever knew the truth about him. If she knew that the man she's so dangerously comfortable with was a former assassin for Hydra. That he's killed more people than those who inhabit this entire school.

I know she'd run. I know she would cower and plead for her life like all the rest. It's all so predictable. Sitting up in my chair, the blonde principal twirled a strand of hair as she laughed once again before continuing to talk.

I know who Miss Elizabeth Marie Harrison is, but she'll never know who _we_ are. Just like she'll never know how it feels have the Soldiers arms wrapped around you to hold you tight, or the feeling of his warm body and soft lips. It's something I won't allow.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

It's been a very long week.

Between catching up on all of my school work and socialising with Cassidy, I'm beginning to become mentally and physically exhausted. Which is something that doesn't happen to me very often "Amelia. Did you hear what I said?" asked the orange haired girl beside me.

Sitting down at the usual table in the cafeteria, I'd yet again been stuck with the incessant talking of Cassidy. If the topic of what she's bothering to talk about made any sense or if it was in any way relevant, I might find it easier to answer. But as always it's nothing I could fathom to relate to. Which is why I'm internally groaning with a headache. No matter what I do, Cassidy always keeps talking and I'm starting to doubt whether or not she'll ever stop.

Nodding my head to whatever the up-beat teen had said, I watched with disinterest as the pale girl gave me a wide smile "Thank you so much! You're the bestest friend in the world" she gleamed. There's another thing I dislike; people using words that don't exist. Obviously Cassidy doesn't do well in her English classes either.

Chewing on my food, a flyer of some description was suddenly shoved in my direction "Excuse me. I'm Shay, the school sports captain" looking up, I follow the girls mocha coloured hand all the way up to her face "Were trying to recruit members for the summer sports team and you look like an athletic person" she placed a flyer down on the table "The sport is netball and we need a few strong players. If you're keen, get your parent to sign the form. Try outs are on Friday second period" after explaining the details, the girl walked away.

"Are you gonna do it?" asked Cassidy as she gestured to the form with her plastic fork "It's not a bad idea"

"I don't know" glancing at the piece of paper, I wondered if I should give it a go. It's not like I'm a busy person, and I don't have much of an outside life apart from Cassidy and the Soldier.

"Just watch out for Mister Baygov. He used to be in the military. A drill sergeant or something. He's a bit on the rough side and not to mention, he bellow when he talks" spoke the red head with a wince.

I looked around to see that Shay is greeting other people with the same speech and flyer. Folding the piece of paper, I shoved it into my bag as Cassidy stuffed another large piece of Lasagne in her mouth "I'm sure I can handle him"

* * *

Blowing away a loose piece of hair from my face, I continued to lift another set of plastic grocery bags into the house. Placing them on the counter, I started putting away some of the items; knowing that the Soldier is doing the last round of grocery bags. Grabbing two cans of tinned vegetables, I placed them in the cupboards neatly when I heard familiar footsteps getting closer.

"You didn't tell me your friend would be coming over" spoke the Soldier as I turned around to see him putting down the bags.

I looked in confusion "What?"

"Yeah" he said while nodding to the front door "She's waiting outside for you. Said something about you agreeing to something" I moved past the Soldier to see Cassidy standing on the porch with her back faced toward us while rocking on her heels "Go ahead" he said from behind me. Putting his hands on either side of my shoulders, he squeezed a fraction "I'm sure it'll be _fun_. I know _close_ you two are" he teased knowing that it's the complete opposite.

"I could say the same thing about you and Miss Harrison" I retorted. Shrugging his hands from my shoulders, I walked over to open the front door "Cassidy" I greeted and she turned around.

Watching her smile turn to a frown, she looked me up and down "Oh, you're not ready. Did you forget?" she went on to elaborate "In the cafeteria today, you agreed to take me running with you"

Mustering up a smile, I nodded my head. Perhaps I should start paying attention instead of ignoring her "Right. I'll get dressed" leaving her at the door, I jogged upstairs and redressed. Coming back down, I closed the door behind me and walked with her down the driveway. Stopping, I started to stretch my arms and legs for a quick warm up "How come you're doing this?" I questioned curiously.

"Well" she said while copying my movements "I'm not exactly skinny like those other girls, and the other day one of the guys, well the one that I like – he made a comment about my weight. It upset me and I didn't like it" she said "I thought of going to the gym but I'm scared everyone's going to laugh if they see me, and then I remembered that you always go on runs"

I glanced up at the sky and took in a deep breath before nodding to the path up the road "Do you ever exercise in your spare time?" I asked.

"No. No, not really" she said hesitantly "I like to read books"

"Alright" I nodded, the information was no surprise "We'll start off slow, but try to keep up"

Heading off up the street, I kept an even and steady pace to get us both adjusted. However, it wasn't long when I had to stop as I realised that Cassidy had vanished from my side. Turning around, I tried to find where she'd disappeared to when I eventually spotted the familiar red hair as it caught the sun light.

I jogged back a few paces to reach her "Cassidy?" I questioned.

Staring down at the slumped over form, I could see sweat had drenched her hair and body "I can't do it. I can't go any further" she heaved out while trying to catch her breath "I'm dying" she breathed out.

I watched with an amused glint in my eye. I can't believe the site before me. Listening to her heave for oxygen, she'd completely slumped down to sit on the middle of the footpath. Sighing, I glanced around to see passer-by's giving us odd looks. Ignoring their watching eyes, I crouched down in front of her "Cassidy" I said "We've barely run two blocks"

Waving her arms in the air, she pointed to a woman across the road; jogging while pushing a pram "My legs are on fire" she cried out "How does anyone do this for fun?"

"For some it's not necessarily _fun_. We do it to keep ourselves fit and healthy. It's not good for the body to be so immobile" I explained to try and reason with her.

"Oh god" she whimpered while rubbing her calves up and down "I don't care anymore. I'll be fat. It's fine, really. I'll become a millionaire and be like one of those people who get their fat sucked out instead"

I grimaced and shook my head "No, you won't. And how do you expect to become a _millionaire_ when you give up so easily? Fortune comes to those who work hard for it"

Groaning, Cassidy waved me away with her hand "I'll find a way. Just, leave me here. I'll get up when my legs top burning. It's okay" she said before adding "Go on"

It was tempting to say the least. If it wasn't for the fact that the streets in this century are not exactly safe, and that I also simply refuse to give her the satisfaction of giving up, I would have left her. Reaching over, I gripped Cassidy's arm "You're getting up whether you like it or not. I'm not going to leave you here" I managed to haul the red head up onto her feet and I gave her a nudge "Come on. I'll take you home"

* * *

After much protest and groaning, I'd successfully gotten Cassidy home and upon her return it didn't surprise me when she said that she isn't going to exercise again. The girl's statement made me annoyed with her. I wanted Cassidy to not give up and to do what she's supposed to do, not huff because it's too hard.

At times I found my odd friendship with Cassidy to be too much. It makes me wonder several times whether or not I should cut our ties, but I could never bring myself to do it. Instead, I found myself thinking back to what she'd told me when I asked her why she wanted to do this in the first place. I felt a pang of anger toward the boy who'd insulted her at school.

Cassidy is a handful, but she'd never harm anything or anyone. She's a kind young girl that doesn't deserve to be treated that way and I very much wanted to find out who exactly this person is "Right on time for dinner" called the Soldier from the kitchen as I entered through the front door. Following the sound of plates, I went and sat down at the dinner table "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine" I replied, not wanting to go into depth "What did you make?"

Coming over with two plates, he settled one down in front of me before placing down his own "Risotto. You'll like it, trust me" he said while taking a scoop and placing it into his mouth. Looking over the dish, it definitely smells delicious. Taking a mouthful of the creamy rice and chicken, I hummed in satisfaction. The Soldier gave me a quick smirk before turning serious "Before you left" he started.

"I'm sorry" I apologised immediately. I know what he's talking about; my snarky comment about Miss Harrison and himself.

"You know it's nothing like that, right? It won't happen" the way he said it made my stomach churn a little. What does that mean it won't happen? Does it mean the Soldiers doesn't like her, or that a relationship in general is out of the question?

"What won't ever happen?" I questioned while putting down the spoon "You and her, or in general?"

"I'm just trying to tell you that there's nothing to worry about" he said with a sigh "Nothing's going to happen between me and your principal. It never was, and I'd never do that to you"

It was silent for a moment "And what if you didn't have to look after me. Would you do it then?"

I can't forget that the Soldier could have a life if it weren't for the fact that he has to worry about me and my safety. He could find someone that could fill the hole that I know I never could. I feel guilty knowing that I'm what's in that way of him and everything else. It's all because of me.

"Where did _that_ come from?" he questioned with a scoff while raking his metal fingers through his short hair "What's with all the questions? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong" I replied with a huff. Getting up from my seat, I took my plate over to the kitchen. The turn of conversation had deflated my appetite once again. Putting the plate down on the bench a little harder than necessary, I leant against the counter with my hands as I heard the Soldiers chair scrape against the wooden floor "I'm going to bed" I announced before turning around.

Not having a chance to move, I was met with the solid chest standing a molecule length away from me. Taking in the warmth of the Soldiers body, he swiftly bent down to pick me up and set me down on the island counter bench "Why are you always lying to me?" he asked while looking at me firmly.

"I'm not lying"

"You're doing it right now" he interjected "You're lying to me and I hate it. I loathe it so much you have no idea"

"I'm not the only one in this house that lies" I snapped. I knew from the moment I'd said it that I shouldn't have, but I'm angry. He'd accused me of lying when he does the very same thing "Your always in your room doing god know what. You leave for all hours of the day without telling me, and you're keeping me from something that involves _my_ life. You think lying's bad? Try having the man you're supposed to trust keep secrets from you"

I leant away a hair fraction "How long did you know?" he said referring to the times he's left the house.

"Long enough" I sneered "How about _you_ tell _me_ something for a change"

I watched the Soldiers face morph into unrecognisable emotion "I said that I would tell you when the time was right" when is the time _ever_ going to be right? What's so terrible that he has to keep it away from me?

"I'm ready. I want to know. I need to" it was quiet for a moment before the Soldiers lifted me up from the bench to stand on my two feet again.

I heard an anxious sigh "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid"

I nodded my head and we slowly made our way up the stairs and down the hallway. Unlocking the door, he held it open for me and I stepped inside where a soft glow from the lamp barely brightened the room "I had to find out why you were so special to them. Why Krupin wanted to keep only you" glancing around, my line of site landed on the same map; covered in a web of red strings and photo's "I found your parents along the way"

My throat went tight "My parents?" I questioned. The Soldier found my parents. What could possibly be so secretive about that? They'd most likely be dead by now. It's been seventy-nine years since I was born. If anything, they'd be holding on with their last breath.

Walking over the desk, the Soldier picked up a thick brown envelope. Standing still just a step through the threshold of his room, I didn't dare take another. I feel that if I did, I might end up in a deep dark void that I wouldn't be able to come back from. Standing in front of me, the Soldier held out the package.

"Remember what I told you" he said, referring to me not doing anything stupid

Gently clutching the envelope, I took it from his hands and began to unwind the brown string at the top. Flipping the lid open, I slipped out the contents; a manila folder. Flipping the cover open, my eyes landed on the two picture that revealed my parents. The people that had given me life. What I found – it shocked me.

Doctor Abram Krupin.

Galina (Madame) Grekov.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

"Katya!" bellowed the soldier.

Racing down the stairs, I grabbed my hooded jacket off the coat hanger before ripping open the front door. Ignoring the shouts of my name, I kept running down the driveway and into the night. I don't care where I'm going, I just know that I need to get out of that house. I can't believe any of it. Out of all the people in the entire world, _they're_ the ones that had to be my parents.

I _want_ it to be a lie.

How could someone do that to their own flesh and blood, their own daughter? And for what? Hydra? The greater good? They made my life a living nightmare and the whole time they knew who I was and who they were doing it to. It was monstrous.

Blocking out all the noises around me, all I can hear are the vibrations of my feet as they pounded against the concrete footpath. My chest is tight and a flutter of emotions persisted to crawl along my body. I didn't look back to see if the Soldier had followed me. He isn't going to stop me. Turning onto the main road, I continued down the street.

When I'd briefly read over the profile, I caught an address. Krupin had died, but Madame is still alive and she currently resides in a nursing home not far from here. It's where I'm going now. I have to see her. I want _her_ to see me and look into my eyes – just one last time.

Crossing several streets and keeping to the shadows, the night time breeze blew over my face as I peered into the front entrance of the building. Lit bright, a young woman sat behind a counter sifting through something at the front desk. Watching her take a sip of her drink, I know it would be a matter of time before she needed to go relieve herself. All I have to do is wait.

Taking a step back, I tugged my hoodie closer to my face as a car drove past. I need to be careful. I don't want the Soldier to find me yet. Furrowing my brow at the suddenly loud and obnoxious laughs, I watched as a small group of women stumbled down the street in their high heels. Their clearly heading home after an adventurous night out. Turning back around, the women who I'd been waiting for had just left her desk.

Spotting my chance, I quickly made my way through the front door. Looking up at the corner of the room, I spotted the green flicker of the camera. Its recording. Glancing down the hallway the woman had gone down, I made sure I was alone before heading behind the front desk. Typing away, I found Madame's room and deleted any evidence of my being here.

A door opened and I silently hid behind the corner of a wall as the woman came back to sit at her desk. When it was safe, I continued on to find the room labelled _Grekov_. So many scenarios ran through my head. What am I going to do? What am I going to say? Would she even remember me? What's going to happen?

Taking a deep breath, I entered into the room I needed. Walking into almost complete darkness, I closed the door behind me without a sound. The first thing that came to mind is the steady but slow beep of the heart monitor; telling me she's asleep. Standing at the foot of the bed, all I have is the light of the city outside as I looked at her. Her face is wrinkled and old, as is her entire body. Her beauty had long since perished and now she's nothing but frail and dying.

It's how I should be, right now.

Turning on the tall soft glowing lamp, I watched as the women squirmed from the light "Is it morning already?" she muttered with a croaky voice. Opening her eyes, she scanned the room with a squint before landing on me. There was a short pause "Am I dreaming?"

"If only it were that simple" I said while stepping forward and gripping the edge of the bed.

"He told me you were dead. I must be dreaming – look at you" she croaked with sadness "You haven't aged a day. Still as beautiful as I remember" closing her eyes, she continued "I should have taken you faraway"

I played along with her delusional state and questioned "Where? Where would you have taken me?

"When you were born, you were so small. I could hold you with just one hand" opening her eyes, she looked down at me "From the moment I laid my eyes that little face, I knew there would be nothing in the world I'd ever love more than you"

"Then why did you do it? Why did you do this to me?" I saw Madame's eyes water with tears. The more I talked, the more I could feel small parts of me breaking down inside. All those years she had a choice. She could have helped me, but she didn't. Instead she made herself an accomplice to something that would damage my life.

"I should have said no. I should have protected you. I regret it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Katya" she sobbed. I listened to her whimper as wet tears streaked down her cheeks "I didn't mean to" I walked over to the side of her bed and I remember back to the time I told Madame those very same words; the day I had to take a life. It was ironic in a way.

Taking her cold hand in mine, I raised it to my lips to leave a single kiss. This woman may have given birth to me, but she's never been my mother. Taking the pillow from behind her head, I placed the white fabric cushion over her face and pressed down hard "Yes, you did"

* * *

Walking down the empty footpath, I turned left into a local park. Feeling the bark give way beneath my feet, I went and sat on one of the cold metal swings. Wrapping my hands against the thick metal chain that held the seat, I couldn't help but let a tear slip from my eyes. It's all over now. There really is no one left but the Soldier.

Sniffling, I looked up into the night sky and stared at the bright moon. What am I going to do now? Everything that I've lived for after being released from control had a part in fuelling me. I wanted revenge on the people responsible and now I have it. There's nothing left keeping me here. Looking to my left, I heard a large figure approach me. I can already tell who it is by the gleaming metal arm.

"Katya" he called.

"Leave me alone" getting up from the swing, I started walking in the opposite direction. Looking down at the ground, a chill ran down my spine as the wind blew over my body. It was soul shrivelling cold for some reason, but I don't care. I'd dealt with worse things.

"Katya, stop" demanded the Soldier loud and clear. Ignoring him, I kept walking at a moderate pace. There's no point in running. If he wants to catch me, then he will "Is that it? Are you going to keep walking away? From your problems? From _me_?"

I stopped and turned around with a glare "Leave me alone" I sneered each word with venom. I'd never held more anger toward the Soldier than right now. Does he know what I did? Does he know what I'm feeling? How lost I am?

Turning back around, I continued my aimless journey when a metal hand suddenly took a hold of mine. Pulling myself free within seconds, I'd swung my fist toward his face and I heard a familiar sickening contact of flesh. The Soldier took a step back and wiped the splotch of blood under his nose. Looking from the crimson liquid to me, I could see his face morph into under the moonlight.

I didn't have time to defend myself when he lashed out and curled a fist full of my hair between his fingers. Yanking me toward him, I groaned when he back handed me. My head began to turn at different angles and a stinging tingle blossomed on my cheek. Letting go of my hair he clutched the back of my neck as he dragged me across the park. He's taking me home.

I squirmed but he only held tighter "I don't want to go back"

"I don't care what you want" reaching the parked four-wheel drive, the Soldier yanked open the door and shove me into the passenger seat "If you run you better hope to god that your faster than me" the door slammed shut and he walked around to the other side before climbing in and starting the engine.

The entire journey home was nothing but pure silence as the Soldier clutched the steering wheel tight. Pulling into the driveway, I heard the creak of the break before I pulled on the handle. It wouldn't open. Leaning back in my seat with a sigh, I didn't look at him "Let me out"

"I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer me honestly" he said while looking out through the windscreen. His face is set blank but stern, and I know he's serious "Do you _want_ to be here?"

I looked out of my window. I didn't expect that. Sighing, I replied "I don't want to live like this. I don't want to go to school and be normal. It isn't what I want, and I know it's not what you want either"

"It doesn't _matter_ what I want Katya. I came here for you and only you. I didn't do this because Steve told me to, or because of my own agenda. I did this so that I could give you a better life, but ever since we moved here we've been constantly fighting" he ran his hand through his short hair "I'm tired Katya. I'm tired of having to fight with you everyday"

"You never _once_ bother to ask me what I wanted in Wakanda. You didn't want to _know_ what I think is best for _myself_. Instead all three of you whispered behind my back and decided for yourselves because you _think_ you know everything. If you'd have asked me, maybe things would have been different. Maybe I wouldn't _have_ to fight you everyday"

"Then what's your answer?" he pressed "Do you want to be here or not? Because if you do then things are going to change, but if you don't – then I'll let you go"

"What was the point of telling me about my parents?" this time I turned to face him "You could have told me anything"

"I didn't plan on telling you. I didn't think you could handle it and I was right" he replied "But it's over now. It's what you needed and now you can get over it and move on"

I couldn't believe it. Reaching over, I pressed the button to unlock the car door before hurtling myself out of the vehicle. Marching up the porch stairs, I opened the front door with a slam. When I heard the sound of the Soldiers boots not far behind me, I stopped and turned to look at him.

"And what happens now? How do you plan I'm going to _get over it and move on_?!" I bellowed. I couldn't believe that he'd said that to me. As if my past is an annoyance of some kind and that I'm being childish for holding onto it.

Watching with trained eyes as the Soldier made his way toward me, I pushed him away when he got too close, but he persisted forward. Pushing again and again, it soon turned into vicious shoves in attempt to get the man away from me. Peering down as I stood only the height of his chest, he took my face in his hands and suddenly crushed his lips onto mine; our teeth clanged against one another. My hands pushed against his chest, and when I didn't kiss back he moved away.

"I do everything for you"

The Soldier slipped his hands under my calves and hoisted me up. Wrapping my legs around his waist to keep from falling, he held on tight as he carried me over to the kitchen table. I gave a firm warning "Put me down"

Dropping me to sit on the edge of the table, the Soldier stood between my parted thighs. Taking my face into his hands again, I felt warm lips on mine as he tried to kiss me again. Squirming in his hold, I kept my own unmoving as I tried to turn away. Biting his bottom lip with a nip of my teeth, I heard him wince as he pulled back.

The Soldiers voice rumbled with a low growl as he spoke "Why is it that you get so angry and jealous, but you never do anything about it?"

"Because it isn't right" I retorted "None of this right"

Jolting my legs forward, I slapped him across the cheek but it didn't deter him. His steel eyes stared down at me "It's better when it feels wrong"

Grabbing the hem of my jogging pants, he yanked them down the length of my legs before pushing me to lay back on the wooden table. Pinning his body over mine, I can feel the hard bulge in his jeans grind against me. A shaky breath parted from my lips and his tongue immediately delved into my open mouth. He tastes warm and sweet, but this isn't what I need.

Not right now.

My hands enclosed around his throat and I could fell the bob of his adams apple beneath my fingers. I wanted to squeeze until there was no light left. Still kissing me, I could hardly breathe as I felt my chest tighten and my lungs restrict. Riding my shirt up to expose my stomach and ribs, a chill ran down my spine despite the warmth of the house and his body. I feel so exposed.

This is one thing I've never been trained for. An _intimate_ moment.

The Soldiers hands worked on the belt and zipper of his pants before freeing himself from confinement. When I glanced down he was already hard and ready. Moving closer, my thighs shook when I felt the tip prodding at my entrance. A swell of butterflies erupted in my belly and I barely had time to look back up into his eyes when he filled me with a hard thrust of his hips.

A chocked whimper escaped me as tears welled in my eyes from the tearing pain. Clamping my legs tight to the sides of his waist, my hands squeezed his throat and the Soldier thrusted again with a slight grunt. A moment or two passed when the slow rhythmic pace started to increase into an almost battering force as I jolted against the wooden surface.

Gasps and moans echoed out and I still couldn't find pleasure; just the feeling of him rubbing up inside of me and pressing into the walls of my uterus. Uncomfortable and tight. My hands unlatched from his throat and wrapped around his torso as I held on. The Soldiers lips pressed against my cheek and along my neck like the ticklish gentle touch of a butterfly's wings.

I could hear the splintering of wood as his metal hand gripped the edge of the wooden table too tight. Panting sounded beside me ear and I winced at the hard pounding he gave me. Clinging to him, my skin glistened with a slight sheen of sweat as the air around us began to heat up. A tingle in my groin began to spark on and off amidst the pain. It's hard to tell if the act is something to be loved or hated.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

The shrilling ring of the bell signalled yet another class completed and the start of lunch break "Now" spoke Miss Monroe while dusting her hands of white chalk "Your homework for the weekend is the sheet of paper I handed out earlier. I want you to complete both sides" pursing her lips, the teacher narrowed her gaze "You can roll your eyes all you like Barry"

The boy let out a grunt "Whatever you say Miss" he replied before giving a mock salute.

Ignoring the regular banter and protest of the class, I collected my books and piled them into my bag. Sauntering my way from the back of the classroom, Miss Monroe suddenly stopped me "Amelia. Can I speak with you?" I nodded my head and stood by her desk "I'm worried. You missed school yesterday and as for today, well" she said before gesturing to all of me "You don't look so well. Have you seen the school nurse or gone to a doctor?"

Shifting the heavy bag on my shoulders, I nodded. I knew I shouldn't have missed school yesterday. I should come no matter what. People who don't do ordinary things get questioned. But I couldn't find it in me to attend the school. I needed some time to myself and here wasn't the place to be.

"Yes. Everything's fine. I caught a small stomach bug, but it's getting much better" I explained while adding a smile.

Miss Monroe returned the favour "Alright then dear. I'd just thought I'd ask. Are you alright with the –"

"Yes" I interjected "I'm sure I haven't missed much from last lesson. I'll hand in the homework on Monday" after a moment of silence, I shifted my back again and continued to make my way out of the classroom and down the familiar hall.

Coming to stand in front of my blue dented locker, I opened it before taking out the books from my bag and exchanging them for others. Looking at the dented door of the locker, I saw the Netball form I was supposed to take home. Sighing, I stood in place staring at and wondering if I should still give it a go.

I was supposed to bring it in as soon as possible but that didn't end up happening. Although I'm sure they'll have a position. From the looks of it, not many people are jumping at the chance of _being a part of the team_. Maybe the sport will get my mind off of everything. Pulling the paper off the door, I grabbed a pen and signed the bottom with a scribbled signature that looked convincing.

Grabbing my extra gym clothes, I closed the locker and headed to the bathroom. After getting changed, it didn't take me long to arrive at the gym. Pushing open the double doors, I entered to see a burley muscular man in his mid to late thirties wearing form fitting clothes. I assumed this to be Mister Baygov – the military man.

Turning around from my intrusion, he faced me "What the hell are you doing here? Private practice. Get out" shewing me with a whistle in hand, the coach went to turn back around when he was interrupted by the girl who handed me the flyer.

"Coach, this is Amelia. I asked her to join us" she said in my defence while coming to stand in-between us.

Raising his eyebrows, Mister Baygov looking me up and down with a scoff "Well she should have handed in the form on time, like _everybody_ else" already I'm starting to regret my decision to come here. Maybe this isn't a good idea after all. It hasn't been three minutes and I can already feel an itch to punch him in the throat.

"Give her a chance Coach" replied Shay "I've seen her run track. She's athletic. Amelia, here might very well be the valuable asset we need" gritting my jaw, I tried not to scowl at the words _valuable asset_. It sounds too familiar and I don't like it.

"Fine, but if you fall behind then you're out. No second chances" he said while pointing a finger at me with a firm tone.

"Yes Coach" I replied before dropping my bag near the gym wall and jogging to stand in the line of boys and girls.

"Good. That's what I like to hear. Now, we'll start on some basic exercises to get you all in tip top shape" he blew his whistle "Get to it people. Let's not wait for the grass to grow. Start running laps!"

Filing along with the other people, we all started running around the giant gym and I began to slowly pick up my pace. Edging onto my tenth lap, I could see behind me as several boys and girls lagged a bit further behind, including Shay.

"Well, that has to be a first" scoffed Mister Baygov as he stood in the middle of the gym watching me "What's wrong with the rest of you? Pick up the pace!"

Listening to others groan behind us, I couldn't help but role my eyes. When are these people ever not complaining about something? No wonder this world has never gotten far. Everyone's too lazy even when it comes to their own health and wellbeing. After doing another two laps, Baygov blew his whistle again.

"Alright that's enough for one day. There's only so much misery I can take" shewing us over with his hand, we all stood in line again "Right" he said before coming to stand in front of us.

I winced as a sudden flash of memory triggered in my vision. Shaking my head, I rubbed my eyes "Now as you all know, the next few months are very important. Some of you have been training all your life and others are new. How you choose to improve is up to you, but remember" he said while pointing his finger "Like Darwinism intended, it's survival of the fittest people. You want to make the cut, you pick yourselves up"

I blinked rapidly as a ringing noise sounded, making everything else turn into an echo. Not here. Not now of all times. I can feel sweat forming on my forehead and body. A warm hand rested on my upper back "Hey Amelia, are you alright? Do you want to go to sick bay?" I shoved her hand away.

Staggering forward and toward the gym doors as the world began to distort, I fumbled with the double gym doors. I need to get out of here and breathe some fresh air. Pushing through the doors, I could hear the masculine voice of the Coach call out behind me "Someone chase after her for gods sakes. I don't have time to write out an injury form"

Ignoring him as I continued down the empty hall, I could only assume that the others had all gone back to class. Placing my hand on the wall of nearby lockers, I used it to stabilise myself as well as feel the cool metal on my burning skin. Tugging at the collar of my shirt, I tried to get some breeze over my body but nothing's working.

I winced as a stinging pain ran through my skull as well as another flash of memory. Watching as the school hallway began to warp, it soon faded into the familiar cement corridor of the Facility. Staring straight ahead, I found a door and opened it. Tumbling into the small dark room, I closed the door behind me before sliding down the wall. It must be the janitor's closet.

It wasn't long until a knock sounded out and the same girly voice of Shay spoke through "Amelia, can you open the door? Is everything okay?" she asked before knocking again "Just stay there. I'll go get the nurse" blinking my eyes, another image came to me. Why is this happening to me?

There's another knock "Amelia. Can you talk to me? Can you please come out of the closet?" asked the principal. I thought Shay said she's getting the Nurse. Why do people always have to lie? Why can't they never tell the truth?

"Go away" I muttered in a whisper before finding my voice and calling it out louder "Go away!"

"Amelia, I called Nathan. He's on his way"

I groaned at the bit of information. It's not at all comforting. He's the last person I need. I don't want him anywhere near me. Slouching against the wall, my breath fell short as my chest restricted. I closed my eyes and tried to focus. I have to make it all go away.

Focus.

"Amelia" my eyes snapped wide open at the sound of the Soldiers voice. I looked in the direction of the door and the glowing strip of light underneath. I can his shadowing figure "Open the door" he ordered in a quiet and gentle voice. I scoffed. He's stupid if he thinks I'm going to simply do as he says. Staying seated, I listened as the knob jiggled as he tried to open it.

I soon heard shuffling of something on the other side and then a crack as the knob had been broken off so the door could open. Squinting at the bright light from the hallway as it hit my eyes, I watched as the shadow figure turned on the exposed light bulb hanging from the ceiling of the closet. After adjusting my site, I looked the Soldier up and down.

Wearing his usual shirt, jumper and jeans, he also wore a black baseball cap. Crouching down in front of me, the Soldier reached out with his gloved hands and pulled me along the floor and into his arms. I pushed against his chest in resistance, but I couldn't focus enough to fight back. Picking me up with a hand under my legs and behind my back, he whispered in my ear.

"It's okay. I'm taking you home"

* * *

On the incredibly long car ride home, I trembled the entire way. Pulling up in the driveway, the Soldier came to my side of the car and picked me up into his arms to carry me into the house. Continuing up the stairs and into the bathroom, he set me down on my feet. My eyes trained on the ground to avoid his eyes.

Stumbling on the spot, I closed the toilet seat behind me before sitting down. Rubbing my arms, I could feel the stick sweat coating my skin and I grimaced. Slightly rocking back and forth, I heard the spurt of the sink tap as the Soldier dampened a wash cloth before kneeling in front of me on the toilet mat.

If I was so angry or so disorientated I would have pushed his hand away, but the metal is incredibly cooling against my skin as he brushed my loose wisps of hair. Placing the cool cloth against my forehead, he gently cleaned my face.

"What happened?" ask the Soldier.

"I don't know" I replied while still shaking "I was in the gym. I was standing in line with the others, and – I don't know what happened"

Shaking my head lightly, he continued to clean my face. Keeping my eyes open, I was too scared to close them again. I don't want to be in the dark or in _tha_ t place, but I could feel it creeping inside of me. Tears began to fall down my cheeks and I wiped them away furiously. I don't cry. This isn't me. I'm stronger than this.

"Katya, stop" spoke the Soldier as he dropped the wash cloth to hold onto my shoulders. I can't stop trembling. I can feel myself working up to hysteria.

"Make it stop" I whispered as a buzzing noise began to hum in my ears. Emotions are twisting and turning inside of my stomach. Sadness. Regret. Anger. I'm feeling everything all at once. Sucking in a breath, I tried to calm myself as more tears began to drip from my eyes "I don't want to go back"

Hushing me gently with his voice, the Soldier tried to pull me forward and off the seat. Suddenly I stopped crying and my eyes snapped up to stare into his own. Shaking his hands off of me, I shoved him away with all the force I could muster. Getting up from the seat, I raced out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

"Katya. What are you doing?" I heard the Soldier call out after me. I didn't stop when I reached the front door. Thick heavy arms wrapped around me from behind and lifted me up off the ground. Reeling my head back, my skull slammed into his face.

Dropping his grip, my feet thudded against the floor before I turned around and kicked him in the stomach. Watching the Soldier stumble back, he gave me a confused look. I didn't give him a chance to speak before I marched forward and punched him in the jaw. He tried to block my attacks, but I managed to get in a few. Landing a final blow, his head turned to the side upon impact.

I watched as he wiped away the blood that had formed from his busted lip. The Soldier stared at me and I saw his eyes turn dark with anger and frustration. It's familiar. Straightening his stance, my mind began to melt as his towering form strode toward me. Grabbing me by the neck, his metal fingers squeezed and I struggled to break free.

Pulling me toward him, my back pressed against his torso as I squirmed. Shifting my arm, I was about to elbow the Soldier in the ribs but I didn't get the chance. Locking his arms around me in a choke hold, he tightened his grip and the air in my lungs hitched. I can't breathe. Slowly fading, darkness creeped into the corners of my vision before I became unconscious.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

What happened?

Twist and turning, my body lie tangled amidst the bed sheets. I could already feel a pounding ache in the back of my skull and my throat felt sore. Blinking back the haze that clouded my eye site, I turned my head to see the Soldier sitting on the desk chair "What did you do?" I mumbled. My voice sounded croaky.

"I did what I had to. You were going to hurt yourself" he replied while looking me over. I found myself doing the same and I could see that his bottom lip had been split. The Soldier deserved a lot more "What's gotten into you?" he questioned.

"I could ask you the same thing" I replied with venom. Shifting in the seat, the Soldiers jaw clenched as he leant back. I could clearly see that I'd struck a nerve, but I didn't care in the least "Why would you do that?"

"I'm sorry" he apologised.

"You're _sorry_ " I scoffed before shaking my head "That doesn't change anything and it isn't an answer. Sorry doesn't take back what you did" getting up from the bed, I went to leave for the bathroom when his hand shot out hold my wrist.

"What do you want me to say?" he questioned "That I did something that stupid? Something that I shouldn't have? What's it going to take?"

I looked him in the eye "Nothing" I replied, the answer being simple "There's nothing you can do or say that'll make any of this better. You asked me if I wanted to stay. Why should I if this is what I get?"

He sighed "I don't know how to show you that I care. It's difficult for me when I don't know what to do with you" he replied "You never listen, and you never understand. It wasn't right, but I did it because I wanted you to know what I felt"

"For a person who claims to care, you have a cruel way of showing it" I replied before pulling my hand free from his grip "All you've ever done is push me away, and down it's my fault because I didn't know what you were feeling"

Ending the conversation, I left the room and headed into the bathroom for a shower. I need to feel clean; as clean as I can be. Washing my hair and body twice, I came back to my bedroom to see that the Soldier had left and it was now eerily quiet. He must have gone back to his room or out of the house.

Deciding to get changed into my jogging gear, I tugged on my shoes and tied the laces. Heading downstairs, I opened the front door and made my way down the driveway before starting on the footpath. Feeling the wind blow through my hair and across my skin, I began to slowly feel somewhat normal again.

Blankly staring straight ahead, I couldn't help but think back to yesterday at school. I still can't understand what had happened to me. One minute I was completely fine and then the next, things began to trigger inside of me. It almost felt like the time after I went through the conditioning in the Facility; when all my memories starting to flash before me. I could only assume that familiarity is what caused it.

"Hey, Amelia. Is that you?" slowing my pace, I stopped at the sound of the voice. Looking to my left, I realised that I'm standing outside a small corner shop. Cassidy stood with her radiant red hair "Hey. How are you? I heard about what happened. Is everything okay? Everyone was really scared. They didn't know what was wrong"

I gave a reassuring smile after the bombard of questions "Everything's fine Cassidy. Don't worry about me"

She gave me a confused look "How can't I? You're my best friend. Of course I'm going to worry"

"Thank you" I nodded before looking down to see her holding several grocery bags "What's all that for?" normally I wouldn't have asked, but it's a lot of items for only her mother and self. It peaked my curiosity, and I wanted to divert the conversation.

"Oh this?" she said "My birthday's tomorrow night. I was meant to tell you yesterday but then everything happened.

Watching her struggle to hold the bags, I decided to act out "Would you like some help?" giving me a relieved smile, Cassidy nodded her head quickly. Passing me several bags, I carried them with ease as we began to walk down the footpath and toward what I assumed to be her house.

"Thanks by the way" she said "I was _dying_ just thinking about having to drag all this back home"

"It isn't a problem" I replied.

Making our way past several homes and buildings, we turned down into a narrow little street. With the footpath having ended at the main road, we were forced to trek along the uneven grassy terrain. Glancing beside me as Cassidy stumbled every now and then, I could hear her loud breathing. Heading up a worn driveway to an old looking house with peeling paint, we arrived at the front door.

I stayed outside as I handed Cassidy the groceries "Hey Amelia" she said after coming back to the front door "Do you want to come to my birthday?" she asked with a stutter while scratching her forearm.

I'd almost forgotten about the detail. I tried not to sigh when I nodded my head "Alright. I'll go" I replied.

Pursing her lips, I could see she was trying to keep in the girlish squeal she so desperately wanted to let out. Giving her a wave goodbye, I turned and began my journey back home. At least Cassidy's birthday will give me an excuse to leave the house.

* * *

Mixing the herbs in the kitchen at home, I pulled out the cleaned pieces of chicken and began to coat them evenly. Pulling the last out of the bowel, I placed it into the sizzling pan on the stove before taking the dirtied mixing bowl to the sing and washing my hands. Checking on the vegetables I could see that everything looked fine so far.

The food I'm preparing is nothing exciting, but it still smells rather good. Keeping a watchful eyes on the Soldiers all these week had taught me a few things here and there, and I decided to take preparations into my own hands for once "I didn't know you were home yet" spoke the Soldier himself as he'd surfaced from his bedroom.

"Dinner's almost ready. Can you set the table?" I asked although it was more of demand.

Holding out the placemats and cutlery, he gave me a nod before taking them. Grabbing the metal tongs, I turned the meat over to expose the crispy golden side. Waiting a few more minutes in silence, I then began dishing up the cooked vegetables onto the plates taken out. After adding the meat, I made my way over to the table and placed down the dishes.

Finally, I can sit down.

The sound of cutlery filled the air. Stabbing a few green beans, I was chewing when I paused to see the Soldier sitting still and silent. He isn't eating "Don't you like it?" I questioned simply "I can make you something else" waiting for a response, the Soldier continued to stare down at his plate of untouched food.

He suddenly got up from his chair "Thank you, but I'm not hungry"

The Soldier didn't look at me as he left to storm back up the stair. I sighed and wondered what the problem is this time. Listening as the door slammed shut, I dropped my knife and fork with a clang. My appetite had been ruined. Sitting back in my chair, I stared at nothing in particular. All this effort and it's all going to waste.

He's insufferable.

Looking down at the meal I'd prepared, I quickly rose from my seat. Marching up the wooden stairs, I headed straight down the hall toward his bedroom. Not bothering to knock or announce my presence, I turned the nob and swung the door wide open. I found the Soldier sitting on his office chair by the desk.

Stalking toward him, he turned away from the piece of paper he was reading to look at me. I rested my hands on either side of the arms rests and pressed my lips against his without hesitation. Instantly hands held my face as he went to pull away from me. I took a second to catch my breath.

"Stop pushing me away" I said.

Through his stormy grey eyes, I could see the Soldier thinking it through; deciding on whether or not he should or shouldn't. The decision only lasted a moment longer when he pulled me toward him to press those warm lips back onto mine. Our teeth clanged together and I shivered as his hands gripped my thighs to pull me forward.

Losing balance, I fell to straddle his lap before the Soldier stood with me still in his hold. Moving away from the desk and over to the mattress on the floor, I wrapped my arms around his neck for support. Kneeling down, he fell forward to lay on top of me. I couldn't help but ask myself. What am I doing?

Wrapping my legs tighter around the Soldiers waist, I looked up into his eyes as he leant back on his knees. Taking off his shirt, his short brown hair became frazzled as I traced my sites down the pink coloured scar tissue; where the metal of his arm met flesh. I wonder if it still hurts. I wonder if it's uncomfortable in anyway.

Arching my body enough to take off my own shirt, I threw it to the side and laid back as I felt the Soldiers hands move down to the edge of my pants. Hooking his fingers into the waist band of the fabric and my underwear, they were both tugged off to leave me bear with nothing but a bra for coverage. Aimlessly discarding the articles of clothing, his hands reached down to unbuckle the belt of his jeans.

I shivered at the site.

Freeing himself from the restraint of his clothing, the Soldier leant over to envelope me in his warmth. The weight of his strong body kept off of me and both his hands dented into the mattress beside my head. Shakily breathing as he began to guide himself into me, I felt the blunt tip push past my entrance to fill me up with one slow stroke. Whimpering at the stretching sensation, I clung to him tighter.

Locking his mouth back with mine, warm and soft, the heat of the room slowly began to rise. Strong calloused hands roamed down the sides of my soft stomach and rested on my hips with a tight grip to keep me still. I felt a tightness forming in my stomach as his thick member rubbed up inside me; prodding every inch with deep sensual thrusts.

Running my blunt nail down his back, I could feel only a few light scars that marred his flesh; the texture feeling rigid against the pads of my fingers. Breathing him in, I came to love the way the Soldier smells; familiar with a hint of nice cologne. Moaning, the slow pace turned rough and my body jerked upward with every slam of the Soldiers hips. The nudging of my uterus felt incredibly good.

Gasping, the Soldier pulled me up into his arms and flipped me around to lay on my stomach. Hoisting my backside to arch up into the air, he slipped out only to plunge back in. Suddenly I can see how addictive all of this is. I can understand how people can get so lost in the bliss and pleasure. Clutching the sheets with white knuckled hands, strands of hair clung to my face as my lips parted in a flow of moans.

The tense feeling in my stomach is almost too much to bare and with a few more hard strokes, I broke with a whimpering cry of pleasure. Gasping to try and regain my breath, my eyes remained closed for a moment as I calmed my racing heart. Slumping forward to lie on my stomach, the Soldier shifted from behind as he tugged my almost limp body to rest against his own. With my flushed cheek pressed against the Soldiers chest, I felt his voice rumble.

"Останься со мной" (Stay with me) he said.

"Всегда" (Always)


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Tightening my legs around his waist, my hand slammed up against the tiled wall of the bathroom shower as I tried to steady myself as much as possible. It felt incredibly good. An echoed moan left my lips as he jolted me in his arms to get a better grasp on my body. Continuing to thrust up into the warmth between my legs, I'd awoken early this morning to wash only to be interrupted by a visitor. Although I can't really complain about what followed.

Pelting down on the other side, the hot water rained down to create a somewhat thick air of steam. Small beads of water and sweat glistened on our skin and my hand squeaked in protest as it slid down the tiled wall. Leaning in, I kissed the Soldiers warm and inviting lips as he buried himself over and over again with deep strokes. Small and faint manly grunts escaped him and I revelled in the sounds of his pleasure.

Feeling the grip of strong hands beneath my thighs squeeze to dig in a little, I spread my legs wider as I was pressed closer against the wall. Burying my face into the side of his neck, my fingers threaded into a small patch of the Soldiers short hair and tugged. His thrusts came harder and I whined as the ties in my belly snapped to a wave of euphoria. Moaning as he filled me up, sticky wetness dripped to leak down my inner thighs.

I gently sighed as my limbs trembled a little in his arms. Taking a moment to recuperate, the Soldier eventually lowered me down to stand and I slipped past him to stand under the spray of water. Washing my skin with soap, I spoke up as he stepped out to wrap a towel around his waist "I won't be home today"

"Where are you going?" he asked with a tone of concern and curiosity.

"I agreed to go to Cassidy's _birthday_ " I hesitated on the last word. I'd heard of it, but I'd never experiences the event. Birthday's weren't considered necessary in the Facility.

"Just be careful" he replied "I'll pick you up when you're ready" nodding my head, I wasn't going to argue. I know he only wants to make sure that I'm safe.

Turning off the tap, I stepped out and wrapped a towel to cover myself. The Soldier had left the bathroom and so I have plenty of room to dry and get dressed. Making my way down stairs, I found him in the kitchen brushing his finger through his slightly dried hair before placing a black cap over the top.

"Where are _you_ going?" I questioned with a furrowed brow.

"The hardware store. I need to pick up a few things" he replied while picking up his keys and wallet "Do you need a lift?" I shook my head "I'll see you tonight then"

Watching as the Soldier left with a small thud of the front door, I heard the engine start shortly after before the sound disappeared down the road. Sighing, I pulled on my shoes and ate some breakfast before making sure the house is locked. According to the tradition, it's necessary to buy the person a gift in celebration. If I'm going to find something for Cassidy then I'll need to leave now.

Making my way out the front door, it took me fifty minutes to walk to the shop and then to her house. Usually it would have been less, but I was stuck on what to buy the girl. I knew almost nothing of what she really liked. However, I did remember Cassidy vaguely expressing her love for exotic tea cups. With that my choice was final and I'd bought her a Noritake set. The woman at the store _assured_ me she'd love it.

Trekking down the final grass covered strip to the withered house, I made my way up the stairs to her front door. Knocking, it didn't take long for the red head to unceremoniously swing the door wide open before letting out a squeal "You came! I wasn't sure if you would. Please" she said while waving me in "Come in! I want you to meet everyone"

Tugging me by the hand, I balanced her gift in the other as she guided me through her home and out to the backyard. Noise blared from the stereo and yellow beady lights had been hung above to create the illusion of a starry night. Several simple plastic tables had been sprawled out for what I assumed to be members of her family; both young and old.

Approaching with a wide smile, Cassidy's mother held a tray of food. With ruby red hair and green eyes, Rosalie and her daughter held an almost identical image; only Rosalie is taller and quite thin "I'm so glad you could make it sweetie. Cassidy here has been so excited. She's been waiting all day to see you"

The teen in question flushed a tinge of pink "Mum" Cassidy scolded with clear embarrassment of the confession.

"Oh, you know I'm only teasing Munchkin" giggled Rosalie "I'll go put the foot out and leave you two alone then. Your cousins will be here shortly and you know how much they like to eat" she spoke with a friendly roll of her eyes.

"Why did you invite them?" whined Cassidy, clearly disliking the idea of her distant relative's arrival. I wondered for a brief moment as to what the problem could be. Picking up on the small details, I could only assume that there boys and perhaps they had an attitude of some sort.

"Cassidy, there your family and as much as they can be annoying little brutes, they still care about you" replied Rosalie "Besides, you Uncle Gus has been dying to see you. Make sure you give him a big hug when you see him. He just got his tube out yesterday"

Nodding her head in defeat, Cassidy looked away from her mother to smile at me. I suppose this moment would be as good as any. I held out the gift "Here, I brought you this. I hope you like it" I said before Cassidy squealed again.

Tearing open the wrapping paper, the girl trotted on the spot with happiness after seeing what's inside. Carefully placing it down on the nearby table, she launched herself onto my body with a bone crushing hug "It's the prettiest thing I've ever seen! Thank you so much. You're the bestest friend"

Nodding my head, I patted her shoulder slowly. Despite everything that's happened, hugging Cassidy still feels foreign and uncomfortable. I'm not quite ready for closeness with _other_ people yet. Following Cassidy around for the next half an hour, she'd introduced me to the bulk of her family. All in all, there quite relaxed and normal considering the _up-beat_ attitude Cassidy and her mother share.

Sitting down on one of the plastic chairs, I turned my head with a cup of punch in one hand when I heard a loud uproar of laughter and greetings spread across the yard "Gussy boy!" cheered Cassidy's Grandfather while swooping in to give the man a firm handshake and pat on the back "How have you been? Not too bad by the looks of ya. These trouble makers keeping an eye out for ya or what?"

Cassidy's Grandfather gestured to two identical twin boys. I could only assume that there in their early twenties. They both have short brown hair and green eyes with an equal body build "Those are my cousins" spoke Cassidy from beside me "Absolute pranksters they are. Always trying to get in a good laugh. The one of the left is Reggie and the one on the right is Ronnie"

Raising an eyebrow at the twins' names "Your Uncle name them after the gangster twins of London?"

"No, my Aunt Rebecca did. She was from London, but she died a few years ago from heart complications"

"I'm sorry to heart that" I spoke with a sympathetic tone.

Cassidy shook her head "It's alright. I didn't really know her that well. I was young at the time"

Falling into relative silence, the party had quietened down after a while. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Ronnie and Reggie are heading toward our direction "Well looky here" spoke Reggie "It's the one and only birthday girl"

Cassidy crossed her arms with a displeased look "What do you want?"

Ronnie placed a hand over his heart "Oh, don't be like that. We just wanted to congratulate you on old age and everything in between" Ronnie pinched Cassidy's freckled cheek in a teasing manner but she quickly swatted his hand away. The twins turned their attention "And who might this be?"

"This is my friend Amelia. Be nice or else" doing a squint with her green eyes, she tried to look intimidating as she puffed her chest out but failed rather miserably.

Holding both their hands up in the mock surrender, the twins slowly backed away "We were just curious, that's all"

"Haven't you ever herd the phrase curiosity killed the cat" replied Cassidy with an attitude a she placed a hand on her hip.

The two boys smirked before retorting "But satisfaction brought it back" looking toward me, they both gave a mischievous wink before leaving to the food table.

Cassidy gave a disgusted grimace "Ignore them"

"I've dealt with worse" I replied.

Continuing on with the party, the drama had dissipated for the night as the twins left us alone and everyone else held a good mood. After dancing, participating in a few games, going through birthday presents and then the finale of the double stacked chocolate cake, it was soon time that people slowly began to disperse.

Heading into the kitchen I asked Rosalie "Are you sure you don't need my help?"

The older woman gave a smile and shew of her tea towel "Don't you dare lift a finger young lady. I've got this all sorted" taking a step back, I turned to see the twins standing outside finishing their bottles of beer. Those two and the Uncle are the last to leave.

I diverted my attention when I heard Rosalie "Is that your father?" she asked while pointing to the four-wheel drive that had parked on the curb while a man stepped out.

I internally grimaced at the question "Yes" I replied. Grabbing what little things I'd brought with me, I gave Rosalie a warm smile "Thank you for having me"

"Anytime Amelia. You're always welcome" she replied before stepping over to poke her head out the backyard door "Cassidy! Amelia's leaving. Come say goodbye" a knock sounded at the door "I'll get it"

Waiting on the spot, the red headed teen bounded her way toward me before wrapping her arms around my body "Thank you for coming. It wouldn't have been as much fun without you, and thank you for the present. I really love it"

"Your welcome" I replied before Cassidy unlatched herself with a wide smile "I'll see you again at school"

"Sure thing" heading over to the doorway, the Soldier stood waiting for me with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded. Making our way down the stairs and over to the car, we both got in and the Soldier began to drive us home "How was it? The party"

"Good" I replied before adding "Different"

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

I nodded "It isn't very practical, but I suppose I can see the reason as to why people have them"

"Maybe we should have one of our own. You can take the turn of being birthday girl for a day" he said while turning a corner. The road is dark and quiet. The inside lights of most of the houses are off as it's quite late into the night.

"I don't think so" I replied with a huff.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't have anyone to share it with. There's just you, me and her. I don't think it would be quite the same with so few people"

"That's not true" he said "I'm sure the team would be more than happy to come down and join in. It wouldn't be just us"

I thought about it for a moment. Maybe I should take the offer. Maybe I should let myself experience this sliver of normalcy. Opening my mouth, I was going to speak when a loud bang sounded from outside and the vehicle sharply swerved to the left. Bracing myself before I could even think of what was happening, the car had rolled over to flip a few meters down the street.

I lost unconsciousness.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Letting out a light groan, my skulled throbbed as I felt my entire weight being pulled down. Fluttering my eyes open, I quickly glanced around to see that were upside down in the vehicle. Blinking back the haziness that clouded my vision, I tried to think back to what had happened. Who was that? Where did they come from?"

I knew instantly that the accident hadn't been caused by a faulty tire or sharp object on the road. I heard the distinct bang of a gun before the tire was punctured. Turning my head to the right, I looked over to see the Soldier isn't critically injured but rather unconscious. Peering out the windows, the street is empty from what I could see. I found it rather odd that someone hadn't hurt the crash.

Reaching over I shook the Soldier "Wake up" I shook him harder "Wake up"

Finally letting out a relieved sigh, the Soldier grunted "Are you okay?" he asked before opening his eyes and leaning his head back. Turning to look at me, I saw the Soldiers eyes widen as he looked down at my torso. It was then that I felt the sting of pain as I followed his line of sight to see a piece of jagged metal sticking out from between my ribs.

Touching the metal, I winced as I felt the sticky ooze of blood on my fingertips as it bled through my shirt. I was too concerned about the Soldier and what had happened to realise my own condition. The adrenaline staved off the pain for a short while, but I could feel it starting to come back. Trying not to move too much, the Soldier had already gotten out of the car to round the other side.

Ripping off the passenger door, he crouched down to assess the situation. I felt a wave of fatigue wash over me and my mouth started to turn dry "No, no, no" he tapped my cheek "Katya, you have to stay awake"

Carefully position his arms to support my body, the Soldier unclipped the belt and I slowly slipped out of the seat with a groan. The jagged metal is still firmly jammed and every inch hurt with jolts of pain. Pulling me out onto the cement of the road, he pulled me to lay against back against his chest. I felt completely exhausted and the allure of sleep felt too god to ignore, and before I knew it I'd drifted back into darkness.

* * *

 _Once checking to see that Katya's heart hadn't stopped, the Soldier immediately dialled the only man he knew would be able to help in a dire situation like this – Tony Stark. After a brief plea and explanation, the response after that had been quick. The vehicles had arrived to their location to pick them up, including a private medical team from Stark Industries._

 _Now here he is in Stark Tower, standing out in the hallway behind a wall of glass as Doctor Helen Cho assessed Katya's injuries. So far he'd been informed that the surgery to remove the piece of metal had gone somewhat according to plan, but that she'd woken up halfway through the procedure due to the enhancements of the Serum. Watching the doctor carefully, Bucky's eyes roamed over the unconscious girl; her face clear of emotion._

 _Several I.V's and wires protruded from Katya's skin and underneath her clothing, and the site unsettled Bucky a little. Turning as the door to the room opened, he looked at doctor Cho with crossed arms "Katy's doing well, but I've given her something to calm down. She was very distressed when she woke up earlier" spoke the doctor._

 _Nodding his head, Bucky muttered "Thank you" before facing back to the glass screen that looked into the girls' room. He noticed from the corner of his eye that the doctor had yet to leave "Is there something else?" Bucky questioned with a hint of agitation. Right now he just wanted to be left alone._

 _"There is actually" she replied with a slight clear of her throat. Bucky picked up on the nervousness and gave her his full attention once again "Mister Stark informed me that you two have been living together for a few months. Is that correct?"_

 _"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked._

 _Doctor Cho heaved a sigh before handing him a folded bit of paper she had tucked in her pocket "Katya's pregnant"_

* * *

Shifting, an uncomfortable pain shot through my body before I opened my eyes to the view of a white ceiling. Scrunching the smooth sheets beneath my fingers, I turned my head to see that I'm lying down in a medical room. I wondered if this was a hospital. Not having the chance to think any further, a young woman of Asian heritage stood beside my bed.

"You're awake" she said "How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?" I asked, ignoring her question. I need to know where the Soldier's taken me. I need to know where he is. A million questions and scenarios ran through my brain.

"You're in Stark Tower. We brought you here after the accident" she replied "Don't worry, everything's going to be fine. My name's doctor Cho"

"Where is he? The Soldier"

The doctor was about to speak when she was interrupted by a familiar face, but not the one I'm looking for "You're up. How are you feeling?" asked Steve as he came to stand by the bed. When did he get here?

"Better" I replied "Why are you here?"

The doctor excused herself to give us some privacy "Stark told me what happened last night. I jumped on the first plane here, and so did Wanda. She wouldn't let me leave without her" he spoke with a chuckle. The thought made me smile as I couldn't help but miss the brunette Sokovian.

The smile soon left my face "Where is he Steve?" the blonde gave a gentle sigh before dragging a chair over and sitting down near my bed "Is something wrong? Is he hurt?"

Steve shook his head "No, he's fine. Just a few scratches here and there. Bucky's just getting some sleep" he explained "The accident took a toll on him. But I promise, he'll see you as soon as he can" slowly nodding my head, my eyes lowered down to my hands.

"When can I leave?" I asked after a brief pause.

"Well you can't get up just yet, the doctor –"

I interjected. That isn't what I meant "Home" I said.

Steve was silent before answering "We think it's better you stay here in Stark Tower for now. Were still trying to find out who was responsible for last night. So far we haven't gotten anything, but we suspect it might be Hydra"

"I thought they didn't know that I'm alive – that I exist"

"Well, we all know Hydra has its ways. But like I said, were not hundred percent sure" replied Steve "Hopefully we'll get to the bottom of it soon enough"

Spotting the blur of black and red from behind Steve, I craned my neck to see Wanda leaning against the doorframe. The blonde captain turned around in his seat to see who it was before getting up with a cough "I'll go"

Leaving the room, Wanda walked in and immediately embraced me with a warm hug that felt strangely comforting as of now "I'm glad you're okay. I was so worried when Steve told me what happened" leaning back, Wanda took my hand in hers.

"I'll be alright Wanda" I said with a smile "There's nothing to worry about"

* * *

 _Steve was never a person to be angered, but today he has a good cause to be. Heaving a sigh, the blonde wiped a hand down his face for the second time in the span of a couple of minutes "What were you thinking?" he questioned firmly. The two super soldiers both stood in a spare room with a few stacked cardboard boxes and some office chairs._

 _After being told the shocking news, Steve didn't know what to think or how to react. At first, he thought it was all just a misunderstanding. But one look at his old friends face and he knew, it most certainly wasn't. Especially when he had the evidence printed on paper right in front of him._

 _"I didn't plan it" spoke Bucky in a whisper "It just happened"_

 _Steve scoffed at the explanation "How on Earth does a getting a sixteen years old girl pregnant just happen?" his voice rising the more he spoke. Silence came between them as neither one knew what to really say to each other. This is the last scenario anyone would have ever imagined "When are you going to tell her? She's going to find out eventually. You know that, right?"_

 _"I know Steve" replied Bucky with a firm tone "I just need some time. I didn't think things through and there's no changing it now. Just, give me a few days and then I'll tell her. It's better if I do it than someone else"_

 _Staring at the brunette, Steve nodded his head. Katya still needs time to heal, but when the time comes, Bucky better be prepared. Who knows what's going to happen when the day comes and she finds out._

* * *

Staring down at my feet as they dangled over the side of the bed, doctor Cho stood before me and I looked back up "Alright, left" she instructed while flashing a pen light into my eye "Now right" nodding her head, she tucked away the pen before scribbling down some information "Everything seems to be good. Your recovering quite fast" turning around, she grabbed the handle of a trolley where a machine sat on top "Could you lie down and lift your shirt"

Doing as instructed, I lifted my top up enough to expose the bottom section of my ribs. I watched as the doctor adjusted the screen away from me and grabbed a bottle of gel "What are you doing?" I asked curiously. I've never had this sort of test done before.

Unclipping the lid of the bottle, she squirted a small amount of cold gel onto my stomach and rib area "This is just a mandatory ultrasound. It'll let me see what's inside so that I can check to make sure everything's healing well after surgery" she explained.

Nodding my head, I felt the small ball type device move around my stomach before trailing up to my ribs and back down again. Watching the doctors look of concentration, a moment past when her eyebrows rose a fraction higher. Clearing her throat and glancing over to me, the doctor turned off the device once she was satisfied with what she saw.

"Well, everything looks perfectly fine to me" spoke Cho as he grabbed some paper towel and wiped my stomach; avoiding the line of black stiches that held my wound together "A day or two and we'll be able to take those out" discarding the paper towel, she added "I'll get one of the nurses to bring you some food. I'm sure you'll be hungry by now"

"Thank you" I said and the doctor gave me a smile before leaving the room.

* * *

 _Standing back in the spare room, doctor Cho handed Bucky a black and white picture "I managed to squeeze in an ultrasound with one of her check-ups this afternoon, and I have to say – I've never seen this before" taking a sharp intake of breath, Bucky stared down at the picture "From what I can tell, the foetus is growing at a rapid pace. I can only assume it had something to do with your genetics"_

 _Peering over Bucky's shoulder, Steve's eye squinted as he looked at the picture. Back in the forties there was no such technology. A woman would conceive, show signs and then wait until the birth. There were no ultrasounds to see what the baby looked like in the womb, or what gender it was going to be. Everything was a complete surprise. However, today's modern medicine offered no such thing. Now there's an answer for everything._

 _"What exactly does that mean?" asked Steve while glancing up at the doctor._

 _"According to the scans and my own personal judgement, I'd say anywhere from five to six months until the baby is fully developed" replied Cho as she glanced between Steve and Bucky; who' still staring down at the image of his unborn child._

 _Everything's happening too fast. The soldier's heads spinning and Bucky took a step back to sit down on one of the office chairs. Five to six months. That's all he has until Katya gives birth to their baby. It's all the time he has until James Buchanan Barnes becomes a father._


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

"Are you sure you want to get up? There's plenty of time Katya, you don't have to rush" shooting a solid look at the concerned face of Wanda, I watched as she pursed her lips "I'm just worried. I don't want you hurting yourself. Doctor Cho said you should still be resting"

Standing up from the hospital bed, I heaved a sigh. I both loved and hated Wanda's need to constantly worry after me "Nothing's going to happen" I replied "I feel perfectly fine and the doctor took the stiches out two days ago. There's no point in me lounging around in a bed any longer. I'm starting to get restless"

Although Wanda's the most concerned out of everyone, both Steve and Cho had told me to rest for another week. Apparently I shouldn't be doing anything too strenuous. Taking a few steps forward, I turned to look at Wanda as if to say _I can do this_. People need to understand I'm not as fragile I look, which is hard to prove when I'm in the body of a teenager.

"Alright" spoke the Sokovian with a defeated sigh "But I'm coming with you" she added with a point of her finger and a squinted look.

Nodding my head, we both moved out of the solitary room of confinement. Heading down a few of the long hallways, I'd yet to wander into anyone familiar. All of the people here at Stark Tower seem to be either doctors, scientists or military personal. Turning left down another corridor, Wanda followed close beside me.

"Now that you're up and about, what do you plan on doing with your knew found freedom?" she asked.

"I'm willing to do _anything_ at this point" I sighed whilst peering into the several rooms and labs; most of which aren't very fascinating. Where has everyone gone I wonder? There has to be someone here that I know other than Wanda, surely. Even the Soldier has yet to come see me. I'm beginning to worry.

"We could go to the home theatre" suggested Wanda "Tony said we could use it whenever we want. It's quite large. Comfortable chairs" not answering, I continued my search around the area when Wanda rested a hand on my shoulder to stop me "Who are you looking for?"

"Anyone" I said as I wanted to sound casual; even though my only true desire is for one man in particular "Where's the rest of the group?"

"They're in a meeting" she answered "They still haven't figured out who was trying to kill you"

"And you're not with them?"

"I wanted to, but Stark doesn't think I'm ready to be going back out on the field" Wanda replied "He doesn't agree with my gifts, and I don't think he ever will. I thought at the very least if I can't help out there then I can keep you company"

I nodded my head in understanding. Giving Wanda a faint smile, I asked "What movie do you recommend?"

* * *

 _"Nikolai Vairone" spoke Everett Ross as he dropped a yellow folder onto the mahogany table "He used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D, but turned out be another rat in the system. As soon as he was discovered he disappeared back to Hydra. Vairone's been doing their dirty work ever since you ran off" he pointed to Bucky._

 _Picking up the folder, Steve skimmed through the details as Natasha spoke up "We went on a mission together in ninety-three. He knows what he's doing" uttered the red head before sitting back in her seat._

 _Closing the file, Steve laid it back onto the table "What do you plan on doing with him?" asked the Captain while focusing his attention onto Ross; the man stood at the head of the table with his hands in his pockets._

 _"We're going to kill him" replied Bucky with no hesitation or doubt. This man almost killed Alena as well as his unborn child. There isn't an alternate reality in the whole universe where this man lives._

 _"Buck" interjected Steve "You know I'll help you catch him, but killing isn't the answer. We'll deal with him the right way"_

 _Bucky scoffed "The right way?" he questioned "What's that Steve? Lock him away? Give him a stern talking too? Is that it?" he added "If you think I'm going to sit here and let you play good guy, then you don't know me at all. Give me twenty-four hours and I'll find him"_

* * *

I sat staring at the ending credits with a look of confusion "Is that it?" I asked Wanda "Rose specifically said she wouldn't let him go, but she lets him go anyway" I can't believe I've wasted an hour and a half of my life watching this movie, Titanic.

"But it's beautiful" replied Wanda "Despite the ending, it's about romance and love"

"It's everything a woman wants?" I finished in a robotic tone. The brunette has said it a dozen times already.

During the entire movie I'd inconspicuously glanced in Wanda's direction so that I could see her reaction; which was nothing more than complete absorption of the film even though she's seen it countless of times. I remembered back to the beginning when Wanda had told me this was _light_. It made me dread having to watch the next one called, the Notebook.

Wanda took a breath in before turning to face me in her chair "I know that isn't what you were trained for, but haven't you ever wanted to feel a love like that?" she asked with a gesture to the fading screen.

I looked down at my lap as my brows knitted together. Of course I do. Maybe not at the beginning when I was devoted to the ways I'd been raised, but afterwards – yes. Deep down I do have the want to feel a certain love. Although the Soldier and I have a complicated relationship, I wouldn't count it as being love.

"Maybe one day in the future" I replied with honesty.

A moment passed before Wanda looked down at her watch "The others should be out of the meeting by now" nodding my head, we got up from the leather seats before making our way down the hall.

Walking around the building, it didn't take us long to reach the growing sound of familiar voice as they came closer. Spotting Steve and the Soldier walking side by side, the two men paused when they saw us approaching. The Soldier gave me a firm look before turning to his blonde friend "I'll talk to you later Steve" he said before walking back in the direction he'd just come from. It's obvious that the Soldiers avoiding me, but I don't understand why.

Storming off after him, I followed in suit with his large stride as we both turned into an empty corridor "Why are you avoiding me?" I called out to the Soldier as he continued to walk three paces in front of me, never once slowing down.

"I'll talk to you later. I'm tired" he replied without stopping. I don't understand at all. He's spent weeks looking over my shoulder when we lived together. He always wanted to know where and who I was with. Now he won't even look at me. Did I do something?

Following a few more strides down the hallway, I finally had enough "James, stop!" the man immediately ceased his movement and I could see the muscles under his shirt tense. I'd never called the Soldier by his real name "Why didn't you come to see me?" I asked "Have you been ignoring me this whole time?"

Still facing away from me, the Soldier had yet to turn around. Looking at him from behind, I noticed the length of his hair has grown back. Not quite as long as it was before, but it's getting there "I was going to see you" he replied before slowly turning around "I just, feel guilty for what's happened. I should have been more careful"

I sighed "What happened isn't your fault. You should know that. No one's blaming you"

Stepping toward him, I stood only a few inches away. Reaching up, I touched his forearm. I haven't seen the Soldier for day, a time that now feels like forever. Feeling the cold metal of his hand resting on my waist, he pulled me close to envelope me in a hug. Sighing at the warmth of the Soldiers body and his strong arms, I relaxed under his gentle touch.

Reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck, the Soldiers own moved down to lift me up by the underneath of my calves. Tightening my legs around his waist, I looked down into those steel grey eyes before planting my lips onto his. Pulling me closer, I didn't care in this moment if anyone saw us. They don't know anything. They don't know what we've been through.

Carrying me, my back pressed up against a nearby door and the air around us grew thicker and hotter. Moving his right hand down to fumble with the door handle, we continued to kiss with heated passion before the solid wall behind me gave way. Stepping inside of the empty room, he kicked the door shut with his boot before setting me down on the cool wooden surface of a desk.

Moving my hands from around his neck, I immediately went to work on his pants where a firm bulge already pressed through. Unbuckling his belt and pulling down the zipper, I gasped as the Soldier yanked down my white pants and underwear. Shivering from the coldness of the air, he spread my legs before stepping to fill the hollow space with a caress of my thighs.

Guiding himself in with a snap of his hips, I clutched the fabric of the Soldiers shirt as he built a quick and hard pace. Panting beside my ear, I could hear items clatter to the ground as the desk shook with every thrust he made. Closing my eyes, my body clenched from the feeling of him inside of me; warm and tight. Moaning out, my orgasm was fast approaching with the perfect angle – when suddenly my stomach lurched.

Snapping my eyes wide open, I ignored it for a moment as I thought it might go away. Gripping the edge of the desk as I moaned again, the Soldiers fingers dug into my thighs as he pounded me against the desk. Suddenly my stomach twisted again and I felt as if I were about to be violently sick. Pushing the Soldier away, I slipped off the desk to crumple onto the floor.

"Shit" I heard him mumble.

Reaching for the nearby trashcan, I made it just in time as a wave of sickness rushed through me to empty into the bin I now desperately clutched. I heard the zipper of the Soldiers jeans before he knelt beside me and rubbed my back. Brushing up my hair so that it isn't in the way, he held it back as I continued to empty the contents of my stomach. What's happening to me?

I never get sick.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 _Bucky knew this was going to happen. Like everyone kept telling him, it was only a matter of time. Nodding his head, Bucky and doctor Cho stood outside of the medical room Katya had been assigned to "I'll make sure she stays this time" he said._

 _"Thank you" replied Cho. Glancing through the observation window, Katya had lied down on the bed to stare up at the room. The doctor felt sympathy for the girl who knew nothing about what's going on. Sighing, the doctor looked back at the Soldier "The symptoms are only going to get worse from now on. She'll get sick in the morning and during the day, her temperament fill fluctuate and she'll start to crave"_

 _Bucky nodded his head "I know what happens. Don't worry about it. I've got it handled"_

 _"I know it's none of my business, but when are you going to tell her?" asked Cho "The sooner you're able, the sooner I can start running the proper scans and tests"_

 _Wiping a hand down his face, Bucky sighed. He wanted to avoid the question at all costs, but he can't – not for any longer. The soldiers' time is up and now he has to confess; less the doctor does it for him "Alright" he nodded._

* * *

Lying down on the fresh sheets of the hospital bed, I turned to see the Soldier walking into my room. Sitting down at the chair near my bed, he gave a heavy sigh. There's something wrong and I know it "What were you two talking about?" I asked curiously.

"She just wants me for another check-up" he replied. Nodding my head, the look on the Soldiers face seemed as if he were completely drained and exhausted. I heard him take in another breath before I went to ask him again what was wrong.

"Are you sure –"

Cutting me off, the Soldier looked me dead in the eyes; as if he were about to tell me every misdeed he'd ever made "I need to tell you something, and I want you to listen" my brows furrowed in confusion before I slowly sat up. What is he going to tell me? Is he leaving? Did something happen? I started to panic. The Soldier looked away for a moment to clear his throat "We've been doing some things" he started.

"You don't want me anymore" I stated. It's the only possible explanation to the conversation I could think of "Am I not _good_ enough?" I questioned sincerely with a somewhat saddened look. The thought that I maybe wasn't had struck a deep and sensitive nerve.

The Soldier shifted up in the chair and shook his head "No, that's not it. Don't worry about that" he said, quickly trying to get the idea out of the conversation "I just want you to know that I'll be here and right beside you every step of the way" the Soldier sighed before adding "The night you first came in after the accident, the doctor found out that your – pregnant"

I blinked.

Staring at the Soldiers face I looked for any trace of a lie, but I found nothing. Swallowing, my mouth had gone completely dry and I started to shake a little. An eruption of emotions swirled inside of me and I didn't know what to do or what to think. I tried to breathe as best I could "How long have you known?" I asked.

There was a pause "Since we got here"

Closing my eyes, my hands cupped my face. He's known for over a week and he hasn't said a single word about it "Is that why you've been avoiding me?" I questioned with a sneer "It wasn't because you needed _time_ or because you felt _guilty_. It was because you didn't have it in you to tell me"

The Soldier didn't get a chance to respond before I sprung from the bed in a flurry of sheets. Marching past him and down the hall, I knew he wasn't far behind by the call of my name "Katya! Just stop and let me explain" I'm not stopping.

I can't be _near_ him.

I can't even _look_ at him.

Making my way around the corner, a strong hand pulled me by my arm "Don't touch me!" I yelled while turning around and pulling myself free "You've been nothing but a liar since the day I woke up. Not once did you visit me. I started to think you didn't care, but I should have known. I should have known straight from the start, but I was too _stupid_ and too _trusting_ to realise" turning back around, I started marching away when I stopped to ask one last thing "Did Wanda know about this?"

"No" replied the Soldier.

I didn't say or do anything except for leave to the one place I knew I could go. Reaching up, I knocked on the wooden door and it didn't take long for the humanoid man to answer "Miss Katya. Are you here to speak with Wanda?" I nodded my head "I'm sorry, but she's currently unavailable"

"Where has she gone?" I asked in confusion.

"With Mister Rogers. They only just left" he replied. I wonder if the Soldier told Steve that I knew, and now there rounding everyone up to share the big news. I wished that isn't the case but I knew it's most likely what's happening "Is there something else I might be able to assist you with?"

I went to speak before clutching my stomach as another wave of sickness reach up from the depth of my belly; threatening to spill out at any given moment. Covering my mouth, I felt a cold oddly comforting hand rest on my shoulder. I turned to see that it's Vision.

"I think it best that you sit down" he said "You shouldn't strain yourself in such a condition" letting the humanoid guided me toward the couch in their apartment and I sat down.

"Tell me the truth Vision. Have they told everyone?" I asked while looking into his complicated yellow eyes as he stood before me.

"I presume you already know the answer to that. You must understand, Mister Rogers and Barnes only want what's best for your health. Informing certain people to you vulnerable state is necessary" he replied before I leant forward to put my face in my hands.

I breathed once and then twice. The room had gone silent and a moment past before I had to jolt forward and race to the bathroom. I can't hold it back any longer. Dropping onto the tiled bathroom floor, I braced the sides of the ceramic toilet before hurling the contents of my stomach. I haven't eaten very much since I first started to become sick. I don't know where all of _this_ is coming from.

Once I'd finally finished, I slumped down on the floor exhausted. Resting my head against the wall beside me, I felt my eyes begin to water. Everything's catching up to me; all of those details. Trembling as sobs left my body, I sniffled as more tears leaked down my cheeks. I can't do this. I can't be a mother and a parent. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not now. Not ever. Not with the Soldier.

Too absorbed in my own thoughts, I didn't hear Wanda come in until a gentle hush echoed out. Kneeling down beside me, she pulled me into her arms and held me. Wanda always knows what to do. Resting my head on her shoulder, I felt like hours as we sat together in quiet; my hitched breathing returning to normal.

"Everything's going to be alright" spoke Wanda "I'll be here for you" brushing a piece of loose hair away from my face, I shifted a little.

"I'm scared" I admitted with a whisper.

"I know, but I also know you're brave" she replied "You can do this. You're a good person Katya. You might not think it because of your past, but you are. It's early, but just think – a piece of you is growing right in here" she said while touching my stomach "And when the time is right, you'll look into its eyes and you'll smile. Because this baby will be your happiness and your own bundle of joy. It isn't a bad thing – you'll see"

A moment passed.

Wiping my face, I slowly leant away "I should be going. It's getting late"

Getting up from the bathroom floor with Wanda, I gave her a crooked smile "Do you want me to walk you back?" she asked with a gesture of her hand.

I shook my head "No, it's alright" heading out to the front door of the apartment, she held it for me as I stepped out "Thank you" I said.

"I'm here if you need me" she said before I turned and headed off down the hall. Crossing my arms, I sighed. Is this really what I want? Am I ready?

* * *

Waking up the next morning, I sat in bed with the remote to the new television; which Tony had installed. Being a new found luxury for me, I often spent my time watching either the history or discovery channel. There isn't much else I could be doing in the medical ward since I'm not allowed to leave.

"Well, at least you're not completely bored out your mind" turning my head, I saw Steve standing at the door "I came to see how you're holding up? Did the doctor give you another check-up yet?"

I shook my head and answered "No. It's not until this afternoon" continuing to watch the moving picture on the screen, I could see Steve still standing in the corner of my site "Is there something else you wanted?"

"Yeah" he replied before scratching the back of his head "Buck won't be able to make it to your appointment today" Steve sounded as if he were the poor messenger sent to deliver the unfortunate news.

"I never said I wanted him here" he looked down to the ground and squirmed on the spot. Sighing, I reached up with the remote and turned the television off. Sitting up in the bed, I gave the blonde captain my full attention "Why won't he be here?"

"He's coming back, he's just – gone to take care of something" he replied. I narrowed my eyes a little at the very vague reply. Steve sighed before adding "Bucky wanted to handle it himself"

I understood now "He's going to kill him you mean" I restated. Knowing how the Soldier works, that's exactly what he's going to do. Steve nodded his head in conformation "And you're letting him do it?"

"He didn't really give us much of a choice. He was pretty angry about the situation, and especially after" Steve paused before glancing away "Buck's probably on his way by now"

"I know you're going to try and defend him, you always do" I replied almost immediately "But I need time for myself. I need to figure out what I'm going to do and how I'm going to make this work"

Steve nodded his head "Just, don't be too harsh on him when you do see him. Bucky's been through a lot and I know he doesn't want to go through that again" I furrowed my brow in confusion for a moment. I didn't understand what he was saying before it clicked.

Steve went to leave before I spoke up "It has something to do with that girl, doesn't it? The woman he used to be with before the war. I know because he mentioned her, but didn't tell me her name. I think it slipped out. He was angry at the time"

Turning around, Steve stepped forward "Yeah. It's a touch subject for him. For what he still remembers"

I quietly cleared my throat. I'm almost afraid to ask "Is she still alive?"

He shook his head with a look of guilt "No, not anymore. But he got to say goodbye – that's the main thing"

"I know it's not something you would want to tell me, or if you're the right person to ask, but you must have met her" I said "What was she like? What happened?"

Still standing by the door, I wasn't sure if he'd stay or not and tell me. But after a few more seconds, Steve nodded his head and sat down in the chair by my bed "Well, her name was Adeline Brennan, and she" he paused "She was beautiful, with brown hair and chocolate eyes. She was awfully kind too. She used to work at the Hospital"

"Is that were they met?" I asked.

Steve shook his head "No. Actually they met at a place called the Downs. It was a dance bar, I'm not even sure if it's still there"

I frowned as I wondered if it were the same place I'm thinking of "Is it near the Brooklyn Bridge?"

"Yeah" replied Steve "How did you know?"

I looked away with a gentle sigh "Because he took me there"


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

"Katya" fluttering my eyes open, I rolled over to see doctor Cho standing by my bedside. I must have fallen asleep after Steve had left "It's time for you examination. I'll try not to be too long" she said before I nodded and sat up "Please hold out your arm for me"

Doing as instructed, Cho wrapped a grey piece of material around my arm. Listening to the beep of the machine, a tight pressure began to build around my arm. Once it was finished, Cho wrote the number down on my personal chart "Alright, just lay back down and lift your shirt up a little"

Lying down on the bed and raising my white shirt, it came to me what Cho had _really_ been doing when she used that machine to see inside of me. It wasn't for my injury, it was so she could see the baby. Drizzling some gel onto my abdomen, Cho rolled around the ball shaped receiver. I waited before eventually asking "Can I see it?"

I have to admit, I'm curious.

The doctor looked at me before nodding with a small smile. Tilting the screen, she pointed with a gloved finger "This is your baby, right here. Fit and healthy" staring at the white blur on the screen, I could barely believe what I'm seeing. Is that possible?

"It's bigger than it should be. I don't understand" I said while staring at the image. I've been educated on the human growth cycle and that's not what it should like in any remote sense. It should barely be a dot and yet here it is, much bigger than it's supposed to be.

"This isn't a normal pregnancy" explained the doctor "The baby's growth has doubled or perhaps even tripled since the time of conception"

"What does that mean for me – and the baby?" I added.

"I'm not quite sure, but we'll be monitoring you closely for the next couple of months" placing down the receiver, Cho cleaned my stomach of the left over gel "In the meantime, if you think anything's unusual I want you to contact me immediately" I nodded my head "I can also say that you won't be needing to stay in the medical ward"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I've already talked with Mister Stark so there shouldn't be any problem" she replied "Do you have any other questions before I leave?"

I shook my head "No"

Cho nodded before turning and leaving the room without another word. Still lying down, I stared up at the white ceiling before flinging myself from the bed and heading straight into the adjoining bathroom. Making it just in time, the sound of sickness filled the air. I wish it would stop. Taking a deep breath in, I felt tears water my eyes from the acid sting that burned my throat.

A small disgruntled sigh came from behind me and my hands tightened on the edge of the toilet. Feeling my stomach churn, I didn't both to turn to see who it is when I already know "You're back" I said "Are you going to tell what you did?"

The sound of boots thudded on the tiles before the tap on the sink turned on "Don't worry about that. I took care of it" he replied. Wetting a wash towel, I watched from the corner of my eye as the Soldier crouched down beside me to wipe away the sheen of sweat "Are you feeling any better?"

"I'm fine" I replied before getting up onto my feet and flushing the toilet. Washing my mouth with some water, I turned only to run right into the Soldiers solid chest "Move. I want to go to bed"

He only continued to look down at me with those steel grey eyes. Leaning down, I didn't see it coming as he pressed his lips against mine. Pulling away, I tried to move out of the way but he wouldn't let me. Pressing himself closer, the Soldier picked me up from the floor to sit me down on the bathroom counter.

"Tell me about the appointment" he said "Did everything go alright?"

"I told you, everything's fine. You don't need to keep worrying. I can take care of myself" leaning back on the counter, I wanted to put some distance between us.

"Would you rather I don't care?" he asked seriously and I sighed. That isn't what I want "The doctor, she said you could leave?"

I nodded "She did, and I'm going to"

"Then you can move in with me" he said "I don't want you by yourself. If you stay with me then I can keep a good eye on you" I shook my head. This is my chance to move into a place of my own where I can have the independence I need "I already have your things" he added "Tony delivered it from the house"

"I don't want to be with you. I want to be by myself"

"We all _want_ things Katya, but we don't always get what we _want_ " he retorted "There's plenty of space in my apartment. I'm not living in a shoebox" picking me up from the bathroom counter, he placed me back onto the ground. Steering me into the other room, we stood by the bed "Get some rest. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning"

Shrugging his hands off of my shoulders, I scowled as the Soldier left the room. Why doesn't he listen to me?

* * *

The next morning had come and was ever so slowly leaving. I still haven't gotten out of bed yet. Partially awake and asleep at the same time, I felt a ghost of a hand run along my cheek. Fluttering my eyes open, the site of buckled jeans and the edge of a navy blue shirt stood before me. I huffed. I was hoping the Soldier had forgotten.

"Good morning" he said.

Pulling the covers off, I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes "There is nothing _good_ about this morning"

"And why do you say that?" he asked with an amused tone. I scoffed. How is any of this amusing? I'm the one being forced to live where I don't want to, and I barely got any sleep last night. I was too busy throwing up or getting headaches, but I'm not going to tell him that. The Soldier will start to worry again and I've already had enough the nonsense.

"I want to move into a place of my own" I replied "I don't need you to _looking after me_. It's childish" getting off of the bed, the cold floor sent shivers up my spine.

The Soldier crossed his arms "It's not childish, it's logical. You're in a vulnerable state"

"I'm pregnant, not dying"

"If something happens and there's no one there to help you, what's going to happen?" he questioned "It's better for the both of you if you live with me from now on. I honestly don't see what the big problem is. We've lived together before"

"And look what happened" I retorted before pursing my lips. I shouldn't have said that.

There was a pause of silence before the Soldier spoke up "Come on" he said with a nod to the door "I'll show you where it is"

Keeping my mouth shut, I followed close behind and made sure to memorise the path. Taking a good five minutes, the Soldier jingled a set of keys before unlocking the door. Heading inside, the apartment appeared much larger than I thought it would be. The floor is made of expensive polished wood and the wall paper is fancy but clean. The apartment held a certain masculinity to it, which I could understand.

Open planned, straight ahead I can see an entire wall made of glass panelling that gave a clear view on the city. On the far right-hand side sits a large television mounted on the wall and a long white curved lounge chair in front of it. Closest to us on the left is the six seater dark wooden dining table and beside it on the other side, is the large modern looking kitchen with an island counter.

Continuing on the tour, the Soldier pointed to anything he thought I might need to know before taking me down the hallway "Down the end is the main bathroom. My room's on the right and yours is opposite" he said while gesturing "All of your things are in the boxes" I nodded my head and opened my bedroom door "I'm going for a run. I'll be back in an hour"

Turning to look at him, the Soldier didn't wait before heading into his room and closing the door to change. Stepping toward the stack of three cardboard boxes, I knelt on the floor to sift through my belongings. At least I have something to do. When the door to his room opened again, I noticed that the Soldier didn't appear to be too happy and I think I know reason as to why.

I definitely shouldn't have said what I did.

Heaving a sigh, it was hours until I finished unpacking and setting up my new room. Hanging the last piece of clothing, I closed the cupboard with a sigh. Glancing around the room, I saw my bed adorned with the dark purple sheets, the office desk with my computer and a few accessories; including the small panther T'Challa had given me. So far everything is starting to look a little more familiar and no so blank.

Looking at the clock, I know it's starting to get rather late and the Soldier has yet to come home. Heading out into the hallway, I checked his room just in case but found no sign of him. I beginning to wonder where exactly he went. Walking into the kitchen, I rummaged around before starting to prepare a simple dinner. Hopefully by the time I finish cooking he'll be home.

After another hour, I placed the bowel of freshly made garden salad into the fridge to keep cold. Resting my back against the island counter, I watched as the chops continued to cook in the oven. Slowly zoning out, I started drifting into oblivion when a loud splattering noise echoed out into the apartment. I turned to see a pour of rain outside as the droplets of water pounded against the glass windows.

If the Soldier isn't home now, he will be soon.

Tapping my nails against the counter top, I leant on the surface once again. Besides the rain it's awfully quiet. This is what it'd be like almost all the time if I were actually allowed to move into a place of my own. I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't such a bad arrangement after all. I think all this quietness would slowly drive me insane over time.

Jumping in fright, the front door slammed open with a thud "Hey" spoke Steve with huff as he supported the staggering Soldier from falling to the ground "I thought I'd return him to safety for the night"

Frozen stiff with a shocked expression on my face, it quickly changed to worry once I looked the Soldier up and down. Barely able to stand, his head slumped down and his metal arm is thrown over Steve's shoulder for support "What happened?" I asked while assessing the dry exercising clothes he wore.

"Don't worry. He's just a bit under the table. He should be fine by the morning" explained Steve with a guilty smile. I think he gathered that I didn't know what the Soldier had really been up to all this time. Giving a cough he asked "Where's his bedroom?"

Keeping in my emotions, I nodded behind me "This way"

Listening to the incoherent protests of the Soldier, Steve guided him down the hallway "Sorry about all of this" said the blonde.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it wasn't your fault"

The sound of a buzzer rang out signalling that the rest of dinner is ready. Heading back to the kitchen, Steve made sure his friend is well situated and not in any danger of drowning in his own vomit during the night. Pulling open the oven, I slipped on the thick mittens before taking out the metal tray. Grabbing the tongs with one hand, I dished out the meat to the plates.

Steve walked around the corner with a groan "That smells great. I didn't know you learnt to cook" he said and I nodded in reply. Placing the empty tray back into the oven, I reached into the fridge to take out the salad bowl from earlier.

"Since I have extra, would you like to join me?" I asked hesitantly. I doubt the Soldier had enough motor function to be able to handle a knife and fork. Besides, I should thank Steve for bringing him back in one whole piece. Dishing out the salad, I'm impressed with how dinner had turned out.

Steve gave a small clap of his hands "I wouldn't mind, that's for sure. It's been a long time since I've had a home cooked meal. Everything here all tastes the same or plastic" giving a chuckle, I'm inclined to agree.

Despite the people that work here in Stark Tower, all the options food wise is either from the Café during the day or fast-food restaurants. Taking the plates over to the dining table, we both ate with a nice conversation. When we finished, I took the plates away.

"Thank you for keeping me company" giving Steve a genuine smile, we stood by the front door.

"Any time" he replied "Have a good night"

Packing the rest of the dishes into the dishwasher, I made sure everything's alright before checking on the Soldier one last time before I went to bed. Peeking through the small crack of the door, I found him passed out with a slight wheeze of a snore. The whole room stunk of alcohol. Quietly closing the door, I walked into my room and tucked myself under the fresh covers before dozing off.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

What was that?

Looking up from the frying pancake, a heavy thud had come from down the hallway followed by a muffled groan. Sighing, I turned down the heat of the pan before making a glass of water. Heading down to the Soldiers room, I opened the door to see him pushing himself up from the ground. He must have fallen off. Making my way over, the Soldier sat on his legs while trailing his eyes up the length of my own.

Groaning again, he turned his head away "Here" I said while lowering the glass of water into his view "You should drink this. You need to rehydrate after last night" staring at the glass, he eventually took it and downed the whole lot with a few gulps. Taking the glass back, I wrinkled my nose at wafting of alcohol still lingering on his clothes "Go take a shower and I'll make you some eggs"

I walked back to the kitchen as the Soldier stumbled his way to the bathroom. Finishing with the pancakes, I grabbed a few eggs out of the fridge and whisked them before pouring the yellow liquid into the same pan. Pushing the contents with a spatula, the Soldier didn't take long as he emerged into the open space of the apartment to sit down on a stool. He'd changed into a black shirt and his hair is still dripping wet.

Plating the scrambled eggs, I pushed it toward him with a fork before dishing up my own pancakes. Unloading a heavy shower of salt, it was for now particular reason other than to satisfy my abnormal cravings; which is to be expected. Eating our meals in relative silence, our cutlery made a slight grazing noise every now and then.

"What time is it?" mumbled the Soldier.

I glanced over to the clock hanging on the wall "Nearly ten" I replied before taking away the now empty dishes and wiping the bench "How come you went to Steve's last night?"

He sighed "I needed some time to relax alright" I wanted to scoff at the answer. Relax. How is getting drunk _relaxing_ in any way?

Getting up with a squeak of the chair, the Soldier grabbed his wallet and keys. Shrugging on a jacket, he opened the door "Where are you going?" I questioned with a confused look.

"I'll be back in a few hours. Don't leave the apartment" he replied. I scowled at the Soldiers retreating form before the front door closed with a thud. So much for wanting to keep a close eye on me. That man is extremely complicated to understand sometimes and it's annoys me to no end.

Sighing, I placed my hands on my hips while looking around the empty apartment. I'm all alone once again. Marching back into my room, I didn't care what the Soldier had told me as I changed into the appropriate clothing for the gym. If he can leave then so can I. Taking the spare key from on top of the fridge, I stepped through the front door and walked down the hallway.

Tuning into the soft music of the elevator after stepping in, I went down a couple of floor before a chime sounded out and the metal doors slid open. Looking up, a curvaceous and tall red head stepped in to join me. I knew her almost instantly. Pressing one of the buttons, she took a step back and crossed her arms. It was awkwardly quiet for a moment until she the Russian spoke "Do you remember me?"

I nodded "Yes"

"Considering how things ended last time, I think we should reintroduce ourselves" she replied before turning and holding out her hand "Natasha Romanoff"

I stared down at the invitation with a sceptical look. I wondered if it was a trick, but I decided to push those thoughts aside and return the favour "Katya"

Pulling away, it went back to silence as we stood in the elevator. I couldn't help but think about who the woman beside me really is and I have to admit, it bothers me. In the dark reaches of my brain, I know she's everything the Program wanted. She's everything that I was meant to be and perhaps even more. I'd be a liar if I said that I didn't feel jealous about the fact. It's hard to see someone else hold the title I'd worked so hard to earn; something I've killed for.

It made me a little curious as to what exactly it was like for her in the Red Room. I wonder if they made any changes to how they approached things. I wonder if she had to do everything I had to do; if not more or less. The bigger questions I asked myself is, what did they do to make it work? Why didn't it the first time? Those are the ones that plagued my mind every now and then – questions I'd probably never get the answers to.

Chiming out, the elevator doors opened again and I'd arrived to my floor. Not looking back to the red head, I stepped out and made my way down the hall. Pushing through the gym door, the lights immediately lit up with my presence and I found the place to be empty. Getting on the treadmill, I pushed a few buttons before setting an easy walking pace before eventually escalating to a calm running speed.

Feeling the heat bloom in my muscles and insides, my body never ached or hurt. Listening to some music, I'd zoned out too much and I didn't hear the person approaching. Snapping their fingers in front of my face, I stopped the machine before turning my head "Stark?" I questioned "What are you doing here?"

Holding a red candy in his hand, he gestured with a similar one "Lollipop?" he asked and I shook my head "So, what's the pregnant mutant teenager up to today? Jogging I assume" I raised an eyebrow "You know, that can't be good for the baby. You should probably lay off the ten miles a day thing you've got going on"

"I know what I'm doing. The doctor said I can continue my exercise without harming the baby, as long as it's light" turning back to the control panel of the treadmill, I went to start it back up when Stark continued to talk. I sighed. I don't have time for this.

"What about mister dark and brooding?" he questioned "I doubt he's happy that you left the apartment"

I paused "How did you –"

"Oh no, wait" Tony interjected with sarcasm "I meant to say he's _definitely_ not happy you left the apartment" sucking on his lollipop, he added "He came to me _demanding_ that I find you. I haven't told him where you are yet. I thought I'd pop in see how you're going first"

"How considerate of you" I spoke through clenched teeth. A sense of dread and anger mixed inside of me. Although I'm thankful for all that Stark has done for me, its times like these that make me livid "Where is he?" I asked.

"Oh, you know him" Tony said not so seriously "He's probably throwing a tantrum in the apartment and doing god knows what with my furniture" he tilted his head to the side "If I could make a suggestion for future reference, I'd say to leave a note next time you want to wander off. I think he scared off half my employees while making his way to my office" Tony then spoke a little louder "Alright Friday, let the beast out"

Giving me a salute on his way out, I was left in the empty gym with anxious breaths. The Soldier couldn't be that angry that I'd left. Stark is just exaggerating like he always does. Bracing my hands on either side of the treadmill bars, I glanced around the room full of exercise equipment. What should I do? Should I stay or should I hide?

Heaving out a sigh, I hesitantly restarted the machine. There's no point in me hiding anywhere. There isn't anywhere to run and he'd find me sooner or later. Warming up from a slow jog, it wasn't long before the gym door busted wide open and the Soldier came storming in with a cold expression on his face.

"What part of _don't leave the apartment_ did you not understand?" ignoring his words and the tone of his voice, I kept my mind focused elsewhere. At least Tony wasn't lying.

"I'm exercising" I stated obviously after deciding that maybe pure silence isn't a good idea. Flashing in front of me, a metal hand pulled the emergency stop button and the machine came to a sudden halt. Almost losing my balance, I caught myself in time with a scowl on my face "Why did you do that?"

The Soldier disregarded my question for one of his own "Why did you leave when I told you not to?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you or ask for permission" I retorted with a snap. Getting off on the other side of the machinery, I made sure that there's plenty of space between me and the Soldier. I wouldn't doubt that he's still feeling a few effects of the alcohol from last night. Heading to make my way around him, the Soldier side stepped to plant himself in front of me.

"Stop avoiding my question and answer me" he said.

I wanted to quick and scream "You left"

The Soldier raised an eyebrow "I left?"

"Yes" I said "You're _always_ leaving. You can't tell me that you care when all you do is disappear, to just get up and leave me alone and by myself – like last night. You went for a run and then didn't come back until the middle of the night, too drunk to even stand by yourself. And then there's today. Five minutes and you're gone. You can't expect me to stay locked up in that place because you're too afraid to let me leave. I'm sick of being left alone with _nothing_ to do but sit and stare at myself"

I sucked in a breath and gave the Soldier one last look before shoving past him. I need to get away before I say something I don't mean again. Hurrying back to the apartment, I slammed the front door with a bang before making my way into my room. Taking off my clothes, I slipped under the covers of my bed. The day has been exhausting and I'm starting not to feel so well.

* * *

 _The stinging sensation blossomed into a fiery burn as the Soldier backhanded me with his metal hand. Reeling my head to the side, I could taste the flavour of iron and salt as my lip had been split open. Ignoring the blood, I blocked his oncoming attack before punching him in the face. It's been eight days since we'd been given the Serum and we've resumed back to training with the Soldier._

 _The first time had not been a success on my part, but after the conditioning process I'd been made much more compliant. However, with this compliance came emptiness. Foreign and strange, I didn't understand it. The only way I could explain the feeling is that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and all that matters in the world is my duty – a duty to serve._

 _Hitting harder and faster, I'd discovered a growth in my skills and endurance. Everything is coming with an easiness that wasn't there before. Kicking the Soldier in the stomach, he took a step back before I ran and jumped up onto his shoulders. Reaching down, I attempted to strange him with my arms locked around his neck. Digging his blunt fingers into my thigh, I concentrated on my hold as he took several steps back._

 _Slamming my back against the black metal bars of the cage that surrounded us, I gasped from impact. Letting go of my thighs, the Soldier began to pry my fingers away from his throat as he slammed me against the metal bars every now and then. Finally managing to free himself, the Soldier bent all the way forward to throw me off of his shoulders._

 _I can tell something isn't right._

 _Closing my eyes as I felt myself weightlessly falling, I waited for the hard impact that never came. Instead of the hard concrete flooring I'd been expecting, I'd landed on something soft and slightly bouncy. What happened? Opening my eyes, I found myself staring into the cold eyes of the Soldier as he crawled his way on top of me in an almost predator-like way. He wore his black military uniform besides the mask._

 _"What's happening?" I asked. Everything is starting to come clear now and I realised this isn't a real memory; even though it had started off that way._

 _Glancing around, I found my surroundings to be unfamiliar. I don't know where I am. Turning my attention, I looked up to see the Soldier still situated above me. He hadn't answered my question and as I kept repeating myself, he made no reply. Feeling the heavy weight of his body on top of mine, I could feel the scratchy and also smooth fabric of his uniform along my bare skin. I shivered once I realised I'm naked._

 _The Soldier rocked himself against me and the metal springs of the bed creaked in my ears. I opened my mouth to speak and ask him what he's doing when I felt it; a searing burn coming from between my legs. I tried to squirm away but I can't move. It's as if I've been paralysed. I can hear myself screaming as I closed my eyes. The pain only became worse and I wished it would all go away – and it did._

 _The pain vanished along with my screams and when I opened my eyes again, I found the Soldier had gone and I'm now lying on some sort of examination table; dressed in a thin blue gown. Blinking, the room appeared incredibly dark apart from the bright light beaming down above me. Squinting, I held my arm out to shield my eyes._

 _"Stay very still Katya. This will all be over soon"_

 _I know that voice. But where did he come from? Lowering my arm, I glanced down the length of my body to see my legs propped on metal stirrups. The end of my gown had been pushed up and I can see blood seeping through the fabric. The voice is Pavlov._

 _"What are you doing to me?" I questioned as my voice trembled. He's supposed to be dead. There all supposed to be dead. How is he here?_

 _"He's just assisting with the procedure" I turned my head to see doctor Cho standing on my right "You have nothing to worry about" she smiled._

 _"Please" I begged "Please, help me"_

 _Reaching out a hand I tried to grab at her, but even though I knows she's standing right there I can't seem to reach. It's as if she's far away. Looking into the woman's face, Cho continued to smile before her lips began to move. She sung the lyrics of a Russian poem; one that Krupin used to sing to himself and the girls when we were younger. I hated it._

 _"Раз, два три четыре пять. Вышел зайчик пагулять" (one, two, three, four, five. A hare went out for a walk)_

 _"Вдруг охотник выбегает._ _Прямо в зайчика стреляет" (Suddenly a hunter appeared. And shot the hare) Pavlov sung the next few lines and I closed my eyes. This is just a dream._

 _Shivering, a cold touch caressed itself from my knee and all the way down to my ankle. A familiar deep voice began to hum the song and I dared to open my eyes. Pavlov and Cho had disappeared in seemingly thin air, and the person who'd taken their place is none other than the Soldier. He stood between my parted legs; dressed in the same uniform as before._

 _I felt a pressure and tug pulling from my stomach followed by an emptiness and sharp pain. Crying out, I knew it hadn't come from the Soldier – it's something else. Continuing to hum, he finished the poem "Пиф Паф. Умирает зайчик мой. Прмвезли его домой. Оказался он живой" (Bang bang. My hare is going to die. He was brought home. And he turned out to be alive)_

 _Sweat began to form on my brow and skin. Panting laboured breaths, I felt incredibly tired as the Soldier walked toward me while rocking a bundle of flesh in bloodied blanket. Leaning down beside me, he showed me the face I know is there but can't see. A tear slipped from my eye as sadness and pain rippled through me._

 _"He's going to be just like me" spoke the Soldier "You're going to be a good mother, you'll see"_

* * *

I gasped into the night air.

Swallowing dryly as sweat clung to my skin, I whimpered before holding my stomach in agony. A sharp pain kept throbbing in my abdomen and groin, and it had tears beginning to pool in my eyes. I've never felt something like this before. Rubbing my legs together, I felt a wet stickiness coating my thighs. My breath hitched.

Quickly reaching over, I flicked on the lamp light with a squint before peeling away the blanket. My eyes immediately went wide and panic quickly overtook the shock. I can feel my stomach starting to churn as my vision narrowed down at the site of the blood soaked sheets. My breaths became laboured and I was too frightened to move, and so instead – I screamed.


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

With my eyes and attention too absorbed on the bloodied scene, I barely heard the bedroom the door as it slammed wide open. The Soldier immediately called my name as he came rushing to my side. Shaking as I clutched the sheets in a white knuckled grip, I felt a heavy weight on my chest as hot tears began to drip down my cheeks. I don't understand.

Turning my head, the Soldier had tugged my arm to make me look at him. Clutching the sides of my face, he tried to talk to me but I can barely focus "Look at me" he said "Come on, look at me"

I glanced up into those grey eyes of his and that's all it took for me to burst into a fit of tears. I can still see the Soldier in my head; the dream. I can still hear the echo of that awful song bouncing around in my ears. Prying my fingers from the tightly clutched sheets, I looked away as he took in the smudges and pooling of deep red.

"What did you do Katya?" he asked worriedly.

The pain throbbed once again and I whimpered as a flush of warmth trickled down my legs. The Soldier immediately sprung to action as he pulled the covers the rest of the way off. Pulling me toward him, he picked me up off the bed to hold me in his arms. Wrapping my own around the Soldiers neck, he quickly carried me out of the apartment.

Rushing down the hallway, my head lolled to rest on his shoulder. I can smell the familiar stench of blood. It's sticking to my fingers and probably everywhere else. Heading toward the medical bay, a door swung open wide and before he began to talk, but the Soldiers voice quickly faded as I grew too tired to stay awake any longer.

* * *

 _An hour had passed since Bucky had taken Katya to the medical ward. It happened to be a mix of luck and firm knowledge of the doctors' time schedule that he was able to locate Cho at such a late hour. Standing outside in the corridor, Bucky leant against the wall with a blank face and crossed arms. From the moment he stepped into her room he knew what had happened. Bucky only hoped that he was in time and everything_ _would be alright._

 _Looking up from his gaze on the floor, Bucky stood straight when Cho approached him; dressed in her usual outfit and pinned hair "She's fine"_

 _"Are you sure?" replied Bucky with uncertainty. After what he saw, there's a part of him that didn't agree. There was so much blood._

 _Cho nodded her head with a weak smile "Yes, I'm sure. Both of them are perfectly alright"_

 _"The baby's okay" Bucky breathed a sigh of relief and tried to hold his composure in front of the woman._

 _"They're very lucky" she replied "If it had been anyone else then I'm not sure either of them would have survived"_

 _Rubbing a hand down his face, he asked "What happened exactly?" things like this don't occur for no reason at all._

 _"It's can be common during gestation. I would say it's most likely from stress or harsh activity. I recommend Katya stay in the ward for a couple of days for observation. After that she's free to leave" replied Cho before adding "Please make sure she cuts down on anything excessive, including exercise. Katya has a high metabolism so she'll need to eat more healthy and frequently. I think it might have been one of the causes. She_ _wasn't getting enough nutrition to replace the energy she was burning off. She is eating for two now"_

 _"Alright" Bucky nodded his head in understanding and memorised every word that left the doctors' lips. But he can't help but wonder if this is partially his fault. Bucky and Katya didn't exactly part on good terms before this whole scenario had happened._

 _"You should get some rest. You look tired" said Cho as she looked the exhausted man up and down._

 _Taking another glance through the glass screen, Bucky took in the site of the unconscious girl as she lay asleep. Katya isn't in any danger now, hopefully. Taking a solid breath, Bucky nodded his head and started to make his way back to the apartment. Closing the door behind him, he leant back against the wooden surface before glancing down at his blood stained shirt and hands._

 _Making his way to Katya's room he peered in to see the tussled red soaked sheets. Bucky immediately searched the house for some cleaning supplies. Filling a bucket with soapy water, he collected a few tea towels, some bleach and cleaning rags. Making his way back into the room, the soldier went to work and started to strip the bed of its sheets. He could hear the footsteps before they fell silent by the door of the bedroom._

 _"I heard what happened" spoke Steve as Bucky continued to scrub at a blotch of red on the carpet._

 _"Yeah well, she's fine now. They're both okay" he grumbled with a sigh. Scrubbing harder, he eventually managed to get the stain out._

 _"Buck, you need to get some rest. I can find someone to care of this for you" replied Steve but his friend simply ignored the offer and continued to clean "Just, please don't beat yourself up over it"_

 _"I shouldn't have left her" the soldier suddenly admitted. Squeezing the cloth in his hand, Bucky glanced around the room "Katya's right. I'm always leaving. I was supposed to look after her and I didn't. No she's in there" there's guilt in his voice._

 _"None of this is anyone's fault" replied Steve "I spoke with the doctor and I know you heard the same thing. No one could have prevented it. And if you think you did something wrong, then fix it – be with her. Look after her. She needs you now more than ever" giving one last look at his friend, Steve left knowing Bucky needs time to himself._

 _After hearing the front door close with a thud, Bucky threw the rag into the pink coloured water sitting in the bucket. Everything in the room is perfect. It's as if nothing had ever happened. It's a skill the soldier still has._

* * *

Resting for three days straight, I'd only just managed to keep myself awake for more than an hour. Watching the television situated on the wall, I feel somewhat different now. No matter what I do, whether it be eating or going to the bathroom, I feel more alert than ever. I'm too petrified that any sort of contact might hurt the baby inside of me.

"Are you ready?" asked the Soldier as he walked into the room whilst pushing the wheelchair. It wasn't too long ago that the doctor had cleared me to leave. Apart of me is afraid of going back. I don't want to see that room. I don't want to sleep in that bed. I'm not ready, but I nodded my head anyway. Sometimes you just have to move on even if you don't want to.

Turning off the television, I sat up slowly with a little groan; the ache still present in my groin. Swinging my legs over the edge, the Soldier helped me get down to sit on the chair. Hugging the soft warm robe closer to my body, I'm still dressed in the standard clinical white top and pants. Wheeling me out of the room and down the corridor, we headed to the apartment and he opened the front door before pushing me inside.

"I don't want to go back in there" I said quickly as he started moving me down the hallway.

"The doctor said you need to rest for another week" he replied

"Then I'll rest on the couch"

"You're not sleeping on the couch Katya" he said with a slight sigh before stepping around me and opening up his bedroom door "You can stay in here"

Pushing me in, the Soldier stopped at the side of the bed. Unlike the house, his mattress sits on a proper bedframe. I think he's starting to get used to everything now. Using the palm of my hands, I got up from the seat while he pulled back the covers. Shrugging off my robe, I crawled into the bed and laid down. Pulling up the covers again, the Soldier then wheeled the chair into the corner.

"I'll be outside if you need me" he said, to which I nodded. Getting comfortable, he flicked off the lights before leaving. Closing my eyes, I eventually drifted off to sleep as I heard the faint echo of the television down the hall.

A brief blank moment later, I woke up to a warm hand rubbing up and down my arm. Fluttering my eyes open, I immediately smelt the freshly cooked meal. The scent made my insides twist. Sitting up in the bed, the ceiling light had been turned on and the Soldier held out a plate containing a small steak and vegetables. Grimacing at the site, he sat the dish down on my lap before handing me a knife and fork.

"You need to get some iron" he said.

Wrinkling my nose, I stared down at the meal. Although I've had this plenty of times before, it smells putrid; as if it's rotten. Turning my head, I saw the Soldier standing by my bedside looking at me like a hawk "Are you going to watch me eat?" I asked.

"I need to make sure you don't flush it down the toilet, like last time" he replied "It's either this or supplements"

Grimacing, the Soldier exaggerated the scenario. I only did that _once_ and it was because he gave me this exact same thing. I politely told him not to make it again and now here it is. Hesitantly slicing a piece of meat, I had to stop myself from gagging as I placed it into my mouth. It doesn't taste any better than it smells.

Pushing the plate away, I shook my head. I can't do this. Getting up from the bed, I rushed out and into the bathroom before spitting out the chunk of chewed up meat "It's disgusting"

The Soldier followed me to lean against the door frame as I washed my mouth "I can't do anything about the taste or smell, you're just going to have to eat it"

"I'm not eating it" I replied firmly.

He can't make me and I'm not willingly doing it. I tried and I failed. Attempting to ignore my senses, the lingering stench of the meat is making me want to throw up. Clutching my stomach, I leant against the sink basin and closed my eyes. I can't keep being sick like this. I just have to take my mind off of it.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I nodded while keeping my mouth tightly closed. Opening my eyes a moment later, I stood up straight and took a step forward. As soon as I breathed in the smell hit me again and I couldn't hold it in any longer. Falling to my knees, the contents of my stomach rushed up to empty into the ceramic bowl. I can feel the Soldier as he rubbed my back and held back the loose strands of hair.

These last few days, have been a living hell.


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Peeking my eyes open, I turned to see the clock that hung from the wall. It's been a month's since the accident and only a week ago did I manage to finally find the courage to move back into my old room. Even though I didn't want to, I thought it to be foolish and selfish to stay in the Soldiers room any longer; as he continued to sleep on the sofa in the living room.

Sighing, I saw the time to be still early morning. Pushing off the warm covers from my body, I slowly got up using the palm of my hands. As the days passed, my struggle to do anything by myself have become almost unbearable. The roundness of my stomach has caused problems and sleeping is the most uncomfortable of them all.

Slowly getting up from my bed, I walked over to the full length mirror installed on the sliding doors of my wardrobe. Standing with my arms by my side, I turned this way and that as I stared at my reflection. I almost don't recognise myself anymore. I look so different, but it's all contained in my belly area; which I suppose is a blessing or so I've heard.

Placing a hand on the shirt glad and swollen stomach, I rubbed it a little before standing on my side; running my hand from the top of my belly to the very underneath. Although I haven't reached the peak size of pregnancy, I'm almost certainly there. Lifting my shirt up, I have no stretchmarks to speak off; which would look hideous considering the growth rate of the baby. Shaking my head with a small sigh, I tugged my clothes off to get change into something more comfortable and decent.

Exiting my room, I made my way down the hall and into the kitchen. Looking around the main part of the house, I found it to be empty. I assumed the Soldier is still asleep. Since everything happened he's refused to leave my side. At first I thought his sudden change in attitude was rather odd, but as time ticked by I came to be glad. I don't want to be alone, especially now, being the way I am. Everything is getting close and frightening.

Opening the fridge, I pulled out a container of blue berries before sitting down on the lounge to get comfortable. Turning on the television, I made sure the volume is low as I watched the morning news. So far I've rarely seen anything good in the world. There's always some type of anarchy happening and I wonder why I bother watching it at times.

Crunching away on the cold blue berries, I turned my head to glance out the windows. It's a beautiful sunny day with not a cloud in the sky. It'd be perfect to go out and enjoy the sun, which is something I haven't done it what feels like a small eternity "You're awake early" mumbled the Soldier as he finished putting on a charcoal grey shirt.

Fumbling around in the kitchen, I heard the familiar beep of the coffee machine. It's the first thing he darts for whenever he wakes up. However, I hate the taste of it. To me it's like drinking black tar and I don't have the stomach for it, but he seems to like the substance for some strange reason. Placing down my blue berries and switching off the television, I turned to look at the Soldier.

"Will you take me outside?" I asked as he leant against the counter.

Furrowing his brows, he continued to stare at the coffee machine as it brewed "What for?"

"It's a nice day. I haven't been outside since we left the house" I argued "I don't want you to take me anywhere special, just somewhere quiet where I can sit and breath the air"

Letting out a low grumble, the Soldier raked his fingers through his hair. He'd yet to cut it again after I'd done it and so it'd grown back to how it used to be. If I'm being truthful, he looks much better this way. I didn't like the way he looked so clean and professional when it was short. It made him look like he used to, back when he was the _ladies' man_ as Steve once told me.

The machine beeped as the Soldier grabbed a mug to pour some coffee "I don't know" he said while taking a long sip. Picking up the morning paper he flipped through a few pages "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere" I replied hoping that he's considering the idea and not completely shutting me down "How about the park? It's not that far away. There's barely any people around"

The Soldier eventually nodded his head before closing the paper and taking another sip of his coffee "Alright, fine" staring for a moment, I wondered if I heard correctly. Turning to look at me, he gestured with his mug in hand "Are you going to get up, or are you going to stare me like I just killed someone?"

Nodding my head, I got up from the couch as fast as possible. Grabbing a few of his things, he placed the same blue cap onto his head while shrugging on his jacket; the weather is starting to get slightly chilly lately and it's also to cover his metal arm. Slipping on some shoes, I followed behind him as we made our way out of the apartment and several floors down.

Getting out of the elevator, I've never been in the main ground administration part of Stark Tower. It all looks incredibly modern with stylish tiles and glass walls. Staring in front of me, the large double doors that led to the outside world stood not a few meters away; all sorts of people walking past on the other side. My heart leapt a little at the notion of being _free_.

"Alright, time to set some rules" spoke the Soldier "Don't talk to anybody, keep close and don't go running off. Simple" he said while holding the glass door open for me "If you don't follow them, then I'll drag you right back here and that'll be the end of it. No second chances"

I nodded my head "Okay"

Walking down the side walk next to him, I'd never seen so many people in all my life. Everything is so overwhelming. The buildings are taller and grander, the fashion ever changing and the smell of food wafted past with all sorts of enticing flavours. Walking with the smile on my face, I looked over to see the Soldier with a passive face. He always looks as if someone is going to jump out at any minute, but I suppose I can't blame him.

Continuing on, we crossed the road and started up the last length of the street before taking a turn directing for the park. Feeling a dull ache start in my lower back, I breathed a sigh of slight exhaustion and pain. Managing to keep pace, I glanced over to see a woman as she stood talking on her phone whilst leaning against a wall. I didn't think much of her until she looked down at my stomach and then to the Soldier beside me. An expression of disdain morphed her face

A hand suddenly rest on my lower back as the Soldier muttered "Ignore it"

Keeping my lips shut, I kept moving forward until we reached the park. For some reason the disturbed look of the woman makes me feel something I can't explain. Perhaps it was anger, for being judged without ever communicating a single word to each other. That woman doesn't know me and I don't know her. How is that fair?

Sitting down on a lonely bench, the park is quiet besides the background noise of a few cars and the rustling of trees. Breathing in a breath of fresh air as the breeze rushed past, I can't help but smile again. Forgetting the earlier ordeal, my mind was soon replaced with the feeling of liberty. Watching a man and woman jog not far from us, they both laughed at something one of them had said.

Leaning forward and being mindful of my stomach, I sat with my head in my hands as they rested on the bench table. Turning my head, I looked at the Soldier as he sat beside me with his forearms in front of him "Thank you" I said.

He nodded his head "You're welcome"

Enjoying the rays of sunlight that decided to grace me with its presents, I closed my eyes to listen to the birds as they chirped above me. For a moment I forgot where or who I am. I feel at peace. My eyes opened at the sound of shifting beside me. Getting up from his seat, the Soldier held out his hand for me.

"Come on" he said.

"Where are we going?"

"I want to show you a place. You'll like it" he replied. Hesitantly giving him my hand, he helped me off of the bench seat and we started walking out of the park.

Turning along streets, I noticed by the firm but still gentle hold that he'd yet to let go of my hand. Not saying a word, I didn't want to ruin the small moment. Eventually stopping out the front of a café, he held the door open and we made our way inside. A small shop with a calm vintage style to it, he guided us through to reach a booth at the far back corner.

"What are we doing here?" I asked while we sat opposite of one another.

"Steve brought me here once" he replied "I make it a habit to visit every now and then. It gives me a place to get away and clear my head"

I nodded my head in understanding. Coming over to the table a moment later, a waiter stood in her black apron and uniform "Welcome, what can I get you?" she asked with a high pitched voice.

"Just a coffee, hot chocolate and special cheesecake" he replied. Nodding her head, the blonde took off with our order and we sat in silence again.

Looking around the café, I can't help but observe the handful of people around. One man, young in age, sat dressed in a business suit with an uneasy habit of jogging his leg up and down under the table. Watching him glance around and down at his watch, the slight sheen of sweat on his collar makes me assume he's supposed to be meeting someone fairly important; a colleague or woman.

Flickering my line of sight to a booth at the front of the café tucked in the corner, I spotted a women with her two children; both boys, smiling as they drank their milkshakes. I could assume by the solemn look on her face and the fact she's bought nothing for herself, that perhaps she has financial issues. Snapping out of my observation, I faintly smiled as the waitress from earlier sat down the two drinks and cake.

After the blonde left, I asked "What is it?"

"It's cake" replied the Soldier while scooping a chunk with his fork and holding it out for me "Try it"

Leaning in, I ate the bit on the fork and an explosion of sweet and rich flavours coated the inside of my mouth. It tastes wonderful and chocolatey "Good, isn't it?" he asked before taking a bite of his own.

"It's better than good" I said while licking my lips "I could eat nothing but this"

A small smirk of a smile lifted the edges of the Soldiers mouth "I'd like to see you try"


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Shivering as the cold gel touched my belly, my eyes moved from the roof to the machine sitting beside me "There it is" said Cho before tilting the screen toward me. Roaming my eyes over the monitor, I can't believe how much the baby's grown. Flicking a switch, a patter sound echoed into the room "That's its heart beat" smiling, I squeezed the warm hand of the Soldier as he stood beside me to watch.

"Is it healthy?" I asked.

She nodded her head "A hundred percent. Everything's going according to plan" pressing a few more buttons, Cho turned off the monitor before handing me a small square black and white image "Here's a picture you can keep" staring down at the image, I held it out so that me and the Soldier can both see "If you'd like, I can tell you the gender"

Cleaning my stomach of gel, the Soldier helped me sit back up. I glanced from the doctor to the man beside me "It's up to you" he said, answering my silent question.

Thinking a moment longer, I was about to answer when the group arrived. They said they'll be checking in to see me after the bulk of the tests "What's the verdict?" asked Tony with his hands in his pockets.

"I'm not sure" I replied "We haven't decided if we want to know the gender or wait"

Looking back down at the picture in my hands, I passed it to Wanda who stood with a giant smile as I gave it to her. After taking a good look, she passed it over to Steve "Wow" he said teasingly "It looks just like you Buck. The resemblance is uncanny"

"Very funny" retorted the Soldier as he crossed his arms.

Passing the picture to Stark, the man grumbled "Children, babies, it's not my thing. But for the record, I think you two are going to be great parents" giving a faint smile, I thanked him. These are the types of moment where I like Stark; when he has something genuine an un-sarcastic to say.

"You know" said Wanda suggestively "You could always have a surprise gender reveal. Most people I know have done something similar" she went on to explain "The doctor gives you an envelope with the gender inside and you take it to the bakery. They'll make you a cake filled with either blue or pink frosting inside"

"Sounds like a plan" replied Tony while rubbing his hands together "Think of it as a revealing slash baby shower. It'll be perfect. That way I can unload all the things Pepper's bought, and you two can start decorating the room while arguing over what colour the wallpapers going to be"

Ignoring the last comment I nodded my head. The suggestion isn't a bad idea. I think I rather like it "Alright" I agreed "We'll do it that way"

* * *

After collecting the envelope from the doctor, Wanda was happy to take it to the bakery as I can't walk very far as of late. Standing in the kitchen, I tuned in to the sound of the television as I rolled the dough out onto the counter. Since everyone wants the party to be tonight, I decided to make a few treats. Of course, the Soldier's been monitoring my eating habits and he's been very strict on what I consume. Although, I'm hoping that tonight I'll be able to get away with it.

Cutting out circles of the dough, I placed them in the cupcake tray to make the base of the caramel tarts. Following the instructions on the magazine I've been looking at, I pushed the tray into the oven to let them cook. Turning my head, the Soldier opened the front door and walked in with some mail he'd collected.

"Smells good" he said before heading down the hallway and into the bathroom. When I heard the shower start, I sighed before looking around to see if there's any type of mess I can clean before everyone arrives. I've never done anything like this before and I admit, I'm a little nervous. I hope everything goes according to plan.

Picking up a few stray glasses and tidying up some misplaced objects, I sat down on the couch with a sigh. Playing with a few strands of my hair, I continued to watch the television. The Soldier eventually made his way out a few minutes later and I looked over to see him poring a glass of orange juice "I was wondering" I said.

"Of you were, were you?" he replied with a slight tilt of his head. Giving a narrowed look, I got up from the couch and went into the kitchen. Opening the cupboard, I searched for something to eat. The cravings make me constantly hungry and it's always for something salty.

Grabbing a packet of peanuts, I turned to face him "What do you want it to be?" I eventually asked "A boy or a girl?" popping a few peanuts into my mouth, I heard the crunch as I chewed. Lately I've been curious about the question, but I've never gotten around to asking until now.

"I don't know" he replied "As long as it's healthy and you're safe, that's all I care about"

Reaching over, I watched as the Soldier gently pressed his flesh hand against my belly. I stared a little transfixed at the site. He's never done that before, been so close or touched it. Brought out of the moment, I sniffed the air and remembered the tarts are still in the oven. Stepping around him, I hurriedly slipped on a pair of oven mitts. Pulling the tray out, I placed it on the bench to let them cool. They're not burnt which is a relief.

Pressing up against me from behind, the Soldier muttered over my shoulder "Looks like I don't have to cook anymore" elbowing him lightly, I chuckled.

I guess not.

* * *

Glancing over to the phone dock, I checked the time to see it's slowly creeping up to six-thirty. Everyone will be here shortly. Plating up the tarts and the few other small things I'd made along with crackers and some dip, a knock sounded on the door. Taking a quick glance around, I made my way over since the soldier had disappeared into his room to get changed.

Smiling, Wanda held up some sort of green coloured dip "I made it. It's a Sokovian dish" looking beside her, I noticed Vision stood with an awkward look on his face "I hope you don't mind"

"Of course not" I quickly replied "The more the better" taking a step back, I pointed to the kitchen "The other food is right over there" letting the couple in, I nodded to Steve as he held a cake box while following suit behind the others. Shutting the door, I headed over "I made a few snacks, nothing big"

"It's looks delicious" replied Wanda as she sat down her dip bowl to pick up a tart. Taking a bite, she hummed before covering her mouth to speak "You should come live with me. I could use someone who knows how to cook" she said jokingly while casting an eye to Vision. Chuckling at the jest, the Soldier came out a minute later to give Steve a short hug.

"Well, I guess were just waiting on Stark" spoke Steve.

Busying themselves with the assortment of foods on the kitchen bench, Steve and the Soldier opened some beers for diving into their own conversation while Wanda sipped on a glass of white wine. Unfortunately I'm the only sober person with a glass of lemonade. Talking with Wanda and Vision in a slight conversation, the front door busted open to announce Stark and Pepper as they both carted in a bundle of wrapped gifts – too many if you ask me.

"Sorry to keep you waiting" apologised Pepper. Putting the gifts down in a pile in the lounge room, she immediately came over to give me a side hug "Congratulation. I should have said it sooner but I've been busy cleaning up this one's mess" she said while gesturing to Stark who only rolled in his eyes in return.

Coming to join us in the kitchen, Tony and Pepper grabbed a drink before Steve announced "A toast to our host! First, I'd like to thank you for inviting us all. I know it's only been a short time since we've met, but I hope to have many more years of friendship. Tonight we celebrate the soon to be parents of both you and my best pal, and I just know that both of you are going to be great for the job" Steve raised his glass "To a happy future and no sleep"

I smiled before we clinked out glasses and drank "Well then" spoke Tony "That just leaves the main event" lifting the lid on the cake, I looked to the Soldier nervously as he handed me a knife.

Clasping it with my hands, he placed his own over top while pressing into from behind. Pointing the tip into the centre of the cake, we cut straight down with one swift stroke. Dragging the blade back, it revealed a smear of frosting – the colour of light blue. Everyone clapped and cheered, and I can't help but realise we're going to have a baby boy.

Letting go of my hand, the Soldier placed his hands on either sides of my hips before reach over and planting a kiss on my lips. For a moment I was stunned. It's been so long since he's done that, let alone in front of anyone. Taking in a breath, I continued to cut a piece of cake. Plating up the slices, everyone ate with a clink of their forks.

Once the cake was gone, we made our way from the kitchen to the lounge room. Sitting down on the middle of the couch, the Soldier sat on my left and Wanda on my right. Taking a few chairs from the dining room table, Stark and Pepper sat on one side while Vision sat on the other. Huddled around, Tony passed me a gift with an added wink of mischief.

"Here" he said "Open this one"

Tearing the paper, it revealed a full piece of baby clothing "Your kidding me, right?" asked Steve with a chuckle as he looked at what I'm holding. It's a baby onesie with a Captain America shield printed on the centre. Smiling, I wondered where Stark managed to find this. I'm certainly keeping it.

Opening the rest of the gifts with the Soldiers help, they revealed themselves to be more clothes, a sophisticated looking pram, Tupperware, supplies, a changing table and white cot. I didn't realise how much they'd bout us until it was laid all out in the open. Now that I think about it, I don't think we'd actually need to buy anything substantial. Everything I can think of is right here in front of me.

"Thank you Tony, Pepper" I said with a smile "We appreciate it"

After much banter and laughter, I ended up being taught a few card games and soon with a couple more drinks and snacks, the night drew to an end. Standing by the door, everyone slowly made their way out of the apartment; some more tipsy than others. Looking behind me, Steve and the Soldier are still talking to each other in hushed whispers.

Patting the brunette man on the back, Steve walked toward me "Have a good night. Thanks again for inviting me"

"Of course" I smiled. Closing the door after he left, I leant against the wooden surface with an exhausted sigh before walking back over to the kitchen. Grabbing a fork, I scooped a piece of left over cake into my mouth "That turned out well"

"It did" replied the Soldier as he collected the glasses and plates to start packing the dishwasher. Unhanding the fork from my fingers, he turned me around to face him before planting a kiss on my lips. I can't help but notice how oddly affectionate he's being "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself" raising an eyebrow, he kissed me again with a sliver more force.

Getting a hold on myself, I pulled away "What's gotten into you?" I asked while looking at him. He certainly isn't drunk. I'd only seen him have a single drink the entire night.

The Soldiers face became serious but sincere and I sucked in a breath when the words fell into the air "I want you to marry me Katya"

Frozen.

That's what I imagine I look like. Squinting at the Soldier, I caught my breath before nudging him away. Walking around, I rushed to the safety of my bedroom in order to hide. Shutting the door behind me, I closed my eyes as the thought of marriage came to mind. Why would he want to ask a thing like that? Why me?

Listening to the door knob jiggle, a knock vibrated against my back "Katya, let me in" spoke the Soldier. Ignoring him, I stood still and pressed my weight against the entrance. I don't know what to say to him or how to react. It's too sudden "Come on, I just want to talk" he said. I know I can't avoid him and so I swung the door open "Why did you run away?"

"What did you expect me to do?" I questioned "Jump up and down and say yes?"

Nervous butterflies entered my stomach as I stood not knowing what to do. One minute were having fun and celebrating, and the next he's asking me a question I don't understand. It's only been a few months since I was let out and so far I've been doing well in adjusting to everything that's happened, but this is it. I don't know how to handle this.

"I didn't expect you to run away either" heaving a sigh, the Soldier raked his fingers through his hair "Tell me what the problem is?"

"You can't ask me to marry you" I replied with a shake of my head. I went to close the door, but he forcefully pushed it open with the palm of his hand. Walking in, I took several steps back as he shut the entry way behind him.

"Why not? We're having a baby?" he said with a gesture to my stomach. So that's his explanation for this sudden proposal – _were having a baby_.

" _I'm_ having a baby, not you. We can't get married" turning around, I walked over to the edge of my bed and sat down. Placing my hand over my stomach, I can feel a slight sort of movement underneath. I've noticed whenever my heart rate goes up, the baby always starts to move "It's not right"

The Soldiers shadow loomed in my peripheral before he knelt down in front of me, his hands on my knees "What do you mean?" he asked "What's not right?"

"This" I gestured to him and myself "You and me, in this world. This can't happen. It won't"

Surely the Soldier understands how things work now. It should have crossed his mind at some point that he's a _twenty-six_ year old man, and I'm a _sixteen_ year old girl. It won't work how he wants it too, at least not yet. He sighed "What if I said that I love you"

"Then I would say you're lying"

"Am I?" he asked "What you and I have is different. We both know that. In my time we did things differently. We don't go running when things happen. I'll always be here to care and protect you. Marriage is no different"

"Then why do it?" I asked "If it's not any different, what's the point?"

"The point is it shows that I love you" sighing, he bowed his head for a second before reaching a hand behind his back. Searching his pockets, the Soldier pulled out a simple yet elegant ring "Katya, will you marry me?"

I stared at the ring glittering in front of me. Looking into those steel grey eyes, I know I need to make a decision. There's no denying that I have feelings for this man, but I'm still confused. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this type of commitment or normalcy. I hope that my answer is the right one. Hesitantly nodding my head, I replied "Yes"


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

It's been a few weeks since the party and the agreement of the Soldiers marriage proposal. Since then we've both agreed on not telling anyone until after the baby is born. That way we can take it as it comes and figure out the rest along the way. Sitting on the couch in the lounge room, I flipped over another swatch of colour palettes. Tony had given me the _go for gold_ speech and I'd asked Wanda if she could help me design the scheme for the nursery room.

I pointed to a blue tone and asked "What about this one?"

"Do you want to keep it one colour? We can always find a wallpaper with a design" nodding at the suggestion, I thought about it as I pulled over another catalogue showing some wallpapers. Flipping through, I can't decide what colour or whether or not I want a theme. I think I'll prefer something simple.

"I don't want a lot of blue, something soft and warm"

Sifting through the catalogue, I found a tree like design that I liked with a few outlines of birds. Composing a few idea's with Wanda, I agreed on a warm cream coloured wall with a slightly dark brown shade to make the tree design in the middle. So far it looks quite nice. Sophisticated but simple, which is what I wanted.

Grabbing a couple of salted peanuts that I'd poured into a bowel for snacks, I sat back on the couch to get comfortable. A sudden wave of fatigue struck me "Now that we have that sorted, there's something else" looking over at Wanda, I raised an eyebrow.

"A name" she stated simply. The crunch of peanuts halted and I nodded. She's right, I need to start thinking of names now that I know the gender "Have you thought of any?"

"No" I replied.

In truth, the subject hadn't crossed my mind. Quickly thinking back to my heritage, I thought of all the Russian names but none of them struck my fancy. American names are all too original and the same. I wanted something normal but old at the same time. Maybe I should name him after his father, James. I shook my head. That'll be too confusing. Sighing, I can't think of anything at this point in time. I'm sure it'll come to me though.

"I'll have to keep thinking of one" I said "I can't decide just yet"

"If only it were a girl" spoke the Sokovian with a jest "Wanda is a beautiful name" laughing alongside her, I suddenly stopped with a sharp gasp "What is it? What's wrong?" asked Wanda with panic in her voice.

Hurriedly grabbing her hand, I placed it over the bump "Feel" I said "He's kicking" I watched as Wanda's face morphed from worry to astonishment and I can't help but chuckle. Hearing the front door open, the Soldier walked in holding a medium sized cardboard box. Turning, we both looked at him and Wanda gave a cough before pulling her hand away and standing up.

"I should be going" announced the brunette with a smile as I walked her to the door "Let me know about your decision"

"I will and thank you for the help"

"Anytime" giving a small wave, I closed the door and headed over to the kitchen bench where the Soldier stood sifting through the mystery box of things.

"What's that?" I asked "Did you buy something?" I peeked inside to see baby things.

"Stark gave it to me. Apparently Barton doesn't need it anymore. He said we can have them since it's a boy and everything" plucking out several clothes, they all look fairly new. Searching through the box there's all sorts of things in there, including; more bottles, plates and bed covers. Heaving a sigh, the Soldier looked over to the pile of gifts stored in the corner of the apartment "You're going to have to move into my room. We need a place to put all this and there's only two rooms"

"Now?"

He nodded "The sooner you move the sooner you can start decorating. Speaking of which, have you decided on anything yet?" grabbing the magazine and booklets I showed him "Looks good. I was hoping you wouldn't go all out with the blue"

"You could have joined us" I replied suggestively. I'm sure I can squeeze in any requests he might have. It would be nice for him to choose a few things.

"I don't think so" he said with a light shake of his head "I'm leaving that all up to you" grabbing the box full of things, he made his way down the hall to put them in my room "I'll get Steve to help me move all the stuff we don't need from your room tomorrow"

Nodding my head even though the Soldier can't see, I turned and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. Filling it up with some water I took a large gulp. Rubbing my stomach, I groaned slightly as I felt the baby kick harder than normal. Breathing in a large breath, I creased my brow. A warm hand suddenly rested on my lower back.

"I'm okay" I said "He's just kicking again. I'm going to go rest for a few hours" nodding in agreement, I stumbled off to my room and tucked myself under the comfy sheets.

* * *

 _Tossing and turning._

 _Hearing a loud grunted scream, I soon realised the noise had come from me. My throat has gone dry and raw as I held my breath and pushed with all my might. Clutching the sides of the bed, I looked down at my naked stomach. My eyes went wide as I saw the baby moving inside of my swollen belly. It looks horrifying, as if it's going to burst from me at any moment._

 _Looking around, the room is dark besides the beaming white light from above. Instead of being on a gurney like the last dream, I'm lying down on a bed; similar to the cots we were given to sleep on in the Facility. Pushing again, a warm breath brisked past my right ear and a tall muscular figure clad in a familiar black uniform appeared in site._

 _Walking down the length of the bed to stop at the end, the Soldier spoke "Разве это не красиво" (Isn't it beautiful). Thrusting my head back, I clutched the fabric sheets under my hands as tight as I could. The pain rippled through me like a raging fire and I let out another scream. I don't want to do this. I want to wake up._

 _"Get it out of me" I begged as the baby shifted inside of my womb. Panting, my chest rose and fell at a fast rate. I can feel something but I don't know what. It's as if the baby is trying to claw its way out of me, as if it's going to die if it doesn't "Get it out!"_

 _I can hear my flesh tear and a sudden emptiness took over me. The baby had slipped out of my body and it's finally over. Looking down at my stomach, the largess flattened only a little "Яблоко от яблони" (Like father like son) the Soldier said._

 _Briefly looking at him, he held a bundle in his arms; wrapped in bloodied blanket. My eyes fluttered closed. I don't want to see anymore. I just want this nightmare to stop. I want to leave this place. Opening my eyes, I turned my head to see a young boy standing by my bedside. He's a mirror image of the Soldier, with blue eyes and dark brown hair. Standing behind the boy, the Soldier stared down at me.._

 _"Вот увидишь" (You'll see)_

* * *

Gasping, my eyes snapped wide open. Searching around in the darkness of my room, I reached over to flick the light switch on. I must have slept longer than I thought. Wandering my eyes around the dimly lit space, I sat up against the headboard of my bed. Glancing down at my stomach, my hand rest on the bump protectively while wiping the sheen of sweat from my brow.

I thought the nightmares had gone away. I haven't had one for a month. Now that I'm getting close to my due date, I suppose they've come back. I can never understand what there about. As soon as I wake it clears from my mind and I'm left with just ghostly traces of the memory. Apart of me thinks that maybe I'm frightened about becoming a parent, but then the darker side takes over. It tells me that I'm more frightened of what this baby will turn out to be – just like its father.

A killer.

I knew from the very moment I'd been told, that this child will never be normal. He'll always be different somehow and it scares me not knowing in what way. I want him to lead a normal life and I want him to have friends. I'm going to try my best to give him all of those things, but I wonder if my efforts will be enough.

Pushing the clinging sheets from my skin, I got out of the bed and headed into the bathroom. Turning on the faucet for the bathtub, I added some soap before undressing. Settling in once the water is nice and high, I hummed with relief at the envelopment of warmth. Tying my hair up and out of the way, a few strands fell down to soak up the water as I slid further down; the water levelling with my shoulders.

Blowing at the thick layer of white bubbles, I swirled them around with my hands while humming a small tune. Tilting my head to the side, I continued to hum when my mind slowly began to drift asleep. Falling into a black void, I lowered further into the water until I'd gone completely under. I don't know how long it was until a hand suddenly pulled me from the tub with some force. Chocking from the fluid in my lungs, I heard the bellowing voice of the Soldier.

"Jesus Christ" he said as I wiped my face "What the hell were you doing?"

Coughing, I sucked in a breath before leaning back with a sigh. Glancing at the Soldier, I eventually asked "How did you know I was in here?"

"You stopped humming. I thought I'd check, and here you are _drowning_ " he said with a gesture before adding "From now on, no more baths. You need to be more careful Katya"

"I know"

Releasing my death grip on his sleeve, I sat further up "Come on. I'll help you" frowning, I didn't make a move to leave the tub "What's wrong?" he asked, but I didn't reply "It's only me. Come on. The waters cold and you'll get sick if you just sit here"

Grabbing my upper arm, he gently pulled me out of the tub. Stepping out onto the tiled floor, a towel was wrapped around my shoulders. Opening the door, the Solder nudged me out while he cleaned the puddled bathroom. Drying myself off and getting dress, I made my way out to the kitchen. Heaving myself up, I sat on one of the stools.

When the Soldier came back out, I spoke up "Thank you, for saving me"

I watched as he finished making dinner, a simple meal of pasta "Don't worry about it" reaching into one of the draw, he unscrewed the lid off of a small white bottle before handing me a pill and glass of water "Bottoms up"

Quickly swallowing the supplement, I hated the after taste of iron. But since I can't stomach beef, I don't have much of a choice. After making sure I'd taken it, the Soldier handed me my bowel of dinner and we ate while watching television.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

The sound of wooden slats hitting together echoed out into the apartment. Sitting on the couch watching television, Steve and the Soldier hauled several items of furniture out of my room in different parts. Sitting back, I looked down at my stomach when I felt the little shifts of movement. Raising an eyebrow, I've wondered for a few days if a theory of mine would work.

Placing a peanut on the peak of my belly, I waited patiently and still until a thump bumped up from within. The baby kicked up the peanut and it tumbled off of my stomach and onto the couch. Picking it up with a smile, a chuckle escaped me at the childish moment. The small but amusing things in life are mostly the best.

Turning my attention, Steve gave me a smile as he carried what's supposed to be a very heavy wardrobe out of the apartment as if it were a bouquet of roses. Flicking my vision from the blonde, it landed on the Soldier who's also carrying out several thick and heavy wooden slats over his shoulder. I admit, there's time where I sometimes forget and underestimate their strength.

"Well, I think that's everything" said Steve with a dust of his hands.

"Thanks for helping" replied the Soldier.

Zoning out of their conversation, they stood murmuring to each other again and I have a reasonable idea as to what it's about. Waiting for Steve to leave and the Soldier to shut the door, I turned off the television before getting up from the couch "Is that what you two were _secretl_ y mumbling about at the party?" I questioned "Steve knows about the engagement, doesn't he?"

A faint smile lifted the corners of my mouth as I watched him eye me from across the room "Yes, he does" admitted the Soldier, not bothering to hide the fact.

Walking over he picked up the large piece of tarp he'd gotten from the Warehouse store. Taking the tarp to my room, I followed behind and leant against the doorframe as he spread the sheet out to cover the floor. After moving all of my things out of the place, were going to start painting the nursery. He didn't look up at me from where he'd crouched down.

"Does that bother you?" he asked.

I shook my head "No, of course not. He's your friend"

Leaving the man to his own vices, I went back out to the living room and grabbed the paint tins. I'd ordered the soft beige and light cream from the swatches I'd chosen. Taking them to the room, he'd finished with the tarp. Taking the tins, he emptied an amount onto a tray before handing me a brush. Dipping it into the paint I started coating the door frame while he used the roller to paint three of the walls.

A few hours later and we'd managed to do two coats of paint. Taking a look around, I smiled as the roomed turned out to look almost exactly how I'd imagined. Heading to the bathroom, I washed my hands of the paint before coming back out. Peering out of the bedroom window, I saw the sky turning a purple colour as the sun began to set.

Previously preparing a lamb roast to slow cook, the mouth-watering scent now filled the air and my belly growled. All that's left to do is the vegetables. Starting on the potatoes, I peeled and washed before cutting. Repeating the process, I took out the roast and placed the vegetables around the meat with a bit of oil. Placing the tray back in, the Soldier had finished having a shower by then.

His hair is still wet on the ends, but he smells good "Will you ever cut your hair again?" I asked curiously.

"Do you want me too?" I shrugged in response. I want to know what he thinks "It feels different to have it short, but I'll get rid of it if that's what you want"

"I don't. I like it this way"

A moment passed when the Soldier asked me a question of his own and a rather uncomfortable one at that "When will you start saying my name?"

My chest tightened "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean" he replied "I've never heard you say my name. Why won't you?"

Looking down at my feet, I used my hand to lean against the bench "I'm not used to it" I replied with a sigh "If I say your name then I accept you for being someone I don't know"

"We've lived together for months. We've been through a lot of things. You know me. I'm not that person anymore"

Standing a few steps away from me on the opposite end of the kitchen, I feel cornered in a sense "But you are" I replied softly "You've _change_ d since then but you're still the Soldier. That's the only person I see. I don't know James Barnes" I sighed "Do you understand?'

"No, I don't" he replied a little coldly before adding "Is that why you're afraid of me?" I looked at him in confusion. I was about to speak when he continued "You've been screaming in your sleep. You're always screaming, telling me not to hurt you – the baby" he took in a sharp breath, his fingers running through his hair.

"Why didn't you wake me up" I asked "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know what to do" he replied "I don't want you to be scared of me. I'm better and I want you to see that. I've been _trying_ to make you see that"

Standing paused, I want to say that I'm not at all scared of him. I keep telling myself that lie but deep down I know the truth. I wish I can tell him about the nightmares and alleviate some of the burden. I'm scared that the baby's going to be like him, even though I know it's an irrational and improbable thought. I just can't help it when it keeps drilling into my skull every night and day.

Hearing the buzzer sound with a sharp ring, I busied my brain with the task of plating up dinner. Getting the Soldier to set the table, I finished making everything and brought it over to the table. Eating in all most silence, I don't know what else to say on the matter. That conversation made me seize up vocally and I feel nervousness settle into my veins.

Quickly finishing my meal, I cleaned up the mess "I'm going for a shower"

Not waiting for a reply, the Soldier sat at the table sipping on a glass of water as he watched me walk away. I can feel his eyes all over me. Hurrying into the main bathroom, I took my time showering. In here I feel safe and calm. I almost don't want go back outside, but I have to sooner or later. Getting out and drying off, my skin smells like vanilla and coconut.

Freezing with my hand on the door knob of the bathroom, I thought about the way the Soldier spoke. He sounded as if h were trying to convince himself more than me, that he's okay. I've never really considered my mental health. I know that everything is behind me now. But the Soldier, he makes a good show of acting normal. He makes everyone think that he's back on track, but he's hiding something and I'm not sure I want to be there when it explodes. As stable as we all want to believe he is, the Soldier has done things that no one ever fully recovers from.

Slipping between the covers of the bed, I left my side lamp light on and rested my head against the pillow. This is the first night I'll be sleeping with him and I feel uncomfortable. Its' a ridiculous thing when I think about it, after all we've done, but it's been so long. Lying I stared up at the wall in front of me when the door opened and the Soldier followed in.

"You're going to bed early" he said.

"I've had a long day. I'm just tired" I replied, trying to lightly brush it off. I was hoping to get a couple minutes more of privacy, at least fall asleep without him right there watching me; probably waiting for the screaming to start. The thought sent a shiver down my spine.

The mattress dipped on his side of the bed as the Soldier climbed in beside me. Turning off the light on my bed, which left only his to illuminate the room "Good night" he said.

"Goodnight"

* * *

Getting up earlier than usual, I glanced at the Soldiers still sleeping form; his metal arm buried under the pillow while lying on his stomach. Quietly exiting the room and heading into the Nursery, I smelt the familiar chemical waft of paint. Grabbing the stickers I'd bought for the trees and birds, I placed it onto the beige coloured wall next to the window. Lining up to make sure it's nice and straight, I pressed firmly to scrape out all the bubbles. Doing the same with the small birds, I eventually stepped back to admire my work with a smile.

Grabbing the tarp off of the floor and rolling it up, I carted it outside so stand it against a wall. Picking up the baby blue curtains, I took them into the room and hooked them up. Spreading the fabric out, I kept it to the sides to let the light in. Between the beige, cream colour and baby blue, this room is looking almost perfect.

Gasping with a jolt, a pair of solid hands settled on my waist "It's just me" mumbled the Soldier as he rested his chin on the top of my head "You've been busy this morning. Looks good"

"Thank you" reaching down, my fingertips ran over the cold metal grooves of his plated arm "All we have to do it put in the furniture and were done" taking a quick look around, I mentally placed the missing items of the room. I need a rough idea of where I want all the things to be.

Letting go, the Soldier disappeared from the room only to come back with a large cardboard box. Placing it down on the ground, he snapped the white zip ties before taking out all of the wooden pieces and screws. Handing me the instruction manual, I leant against the wall and folded it out. It didn't look all too complicated. Heaving a sigh, I got started with a instructing him how to assemble the cot.

Scratching the back of my neck, I'd decided to sit down on the floor after the two hours it'd taken us to get the cot together. Apparently the instructions aren't as clear as I'd originally been led to be believe and we were also missing a few essential screws, but lucky enough someone was able to get us some matching ones from the warehouse store.

"Just a little to the left" I said with a gesture as the Soldier placed the last item against the wall "Perfect"

The cot stood pressed up against the wall made with fresh blankets and fittings. The changing table is situated just beneath the window with the blue curtains, and the wardrobe is pressing against the opposite wall of the cot with a small white chair beside it in the corner; a printed rug decorated the floor. After all those hard spent hours, the room is finally complete.

I laughed when the baby kicked "What's funny?" asked the Soldier. Shaking my head, I reached out for his flesh hand and pressed it against my belly. The Soldier smiled after a moment "Like father like son. He's definitely an active little guy" the smile melted from my face when the Soldier spoke those familiar words from my nightmare "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired" I replied with a faint smile in return.

Heading to the kitchen I got a glass of water before turning to the small box of baby products sitting on the bench. Searching through, I started unpacking the bottles and plates into the cupboards. I blew a puff of air when I'd finished. Sitting down on one of the stool to catch my breath, I rubbed my lower spine as it started to ache.

Finding a pile of catalogues and newspapers, I flipped through them when the Soldier shortly came into the kitchen. Starting the process of making dinner, I hadn't realised how late it'd gotten until I glanced at the clock. I feel as if lately time seems to be flying incredibly fast – perhaps a little _too_ fast for my liking.

The sound of chopping sounded as the Soldier sliced vegetables "You have another appointment tomorrow"

"Oh?" I said with a slight tilt of my head "Did she call again?" scratching my wrist, I looked up when he didn't reply. I found him staring at me instead. The cutting of vegetables had ceased "What's wrong?" I asked when I noticed the firm stare he's giving me.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, to which I hesitantly nodded my head. The Soldier paused before sighing and resuming dinner "I don't know what it is with you lately, but you've been acting strange"

"In what way?"

"I don't know" he replied "It could be me, but you seem distant. Every time I touch you, you flinch and when I talk you freeze up. Am I doing something wrong?"

"It's not you. Nothing's wrong. I just haven't been getting enough sleep lately. The baby keeps kicking" I added. I want to change the subject. I nodded "Do you need some help with that?"

"No, I've got it" he replied before setting down the knife and reaching into a draw. Pushing across a familiar pill bottle, I grabbed it "In case you forget" he said before I popped the lid and swallowed the hateful iron tablet.

Pursing my lips, there's something I want to ask the Soldier. It's not anything serious, but I think it could help with what's going on between us and benefit the baby as well "I have a question" I started, to which he gave a nod of his head "Would you do Lamaze with me?"

He ceased cutting "You want me to do what?"


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

It's been another month.

At first I was surprised that the Soldier had agreed to my offer of going to Lamaze. I think it's partially due to the further _research_ and consultation of the doctor that got him on board. Since then he's been taking me twice every week for half an hour each session. So far I'm learning a few new things and it's nice to have an excuse to leave the Tower. The practice is also quite relaxing and the Soldier picked up on it quickly, compared to the other men in the class.

"Breath in, slow and deep" spoke the middle aged woman as she stood at the front, a calm and tranquil tone laced with every word. With curly black hair and green eyes, I can see the signs of aging along her skin and the small wrinkles.

Sitting on the yoga mat we'd bought with us, I'd been positioned between the Soldiers bent legs. Clutching his hands either side, he'd been forced to wear a thinner jumped and gloves to cover us his metal arm. I suppose that's just life from now on. I remember he'd let the fact slip when we were living in the house, but now that there's more eyes around us he's being more cautious.

Following the woman's instruction, I breathed in deep and slow before exhaling in time with the instructor. A giggle of laughter on my left caught my attention. A young couple nipped around each other before she told him to stop with a grin. Of course there'd been a few bumps with my idea of Lamaze. The main ones being the _odd_ looks we received on the first day, and the fact that the place the classes are held in is almost two hours away from the Tower.

"Now, I want you to focus on something you find peaceful" spoke the instructor "Picture something distracting"

Another giggle came from my left and I immediately thought _they_ are distracting. Ignoring the two of them as much as possible, I closed my eyes and concentrated on finding some place pleasant before opening my eyes again. I pictured the garden back in Wakanda and all of its beautiful and exotic flowers.

"Good" she said while making her way around us "Gentlemen, this is your time to shine. I want you to place your hands on your partner's shoulders" the Soldiers hands shifted to the right place "In rhythmic motions, I want you to massage the nerves between her shoulder blades. Remember, we went over this last lesson"

Giving a nod of her head in encouragement, the Soldiers fingers worked away at my muscles. Relaxing, my body instantly began to relax nice and easy. It feels awfully good and my lips parted as I felt a sudden bout of drowsiness "You alright?" he asked. I nodded.

After a couple more minutes, the woman spoke up with a friendly smile and light clap of her hands "Alright, this concludes today's lesson. I hope you all learnt something valuable from today and remember, there's always time to do some more breathing exercises at home. Thanking you for coming and I'll see you all next week"

Nodding our head, the Soldier got up first before gently helping me from the floor. It feels like such a long way now. Handing me the water bottle, I took large sips as I'm always thirsty after the classes. Watching as he rolled up the mat, we headed out to the four-wheel drive. Chucking the mat into the backseat he helped me in the car before walking around to the driver's side.

Turning on the engine the radio sprung to life as we pulled out onto the main road. The radio man spoke " _News reporting live from over the Valley. For those of you heading south on your way home from work, expect heavy delays along I-84. A severe car crash on the far left lane is currently being cleared away. So far there's no sign of movement along traffic. As always, please be cautious and drive safely"_

Sighing, I changed the channel. This is the second time this week a major accident has occurred on the road. Staring ahead of me the Soldier turned left instead of right. I suppose were taking a backroad so we can avoid the traffic. Cruising down the road we pulled up at a red light. Pulling off his cap, he threw it on the backseat before running his fingers through his hair.

"Did you talk to Steve before we left?" I asked, just remembering that I'd asked the Soldier to talk to the man about our dinner plans for tonight. So far I'd invited the usual suspects and even Natasha, although I still haven't heard from her yet. Apparently she'd been away on a mission when we had the baby shower.

Since our _talk_ in the elevator, I'd wondered if Natasha is trying to avoid me. She always keeps out of my road and barely ever speaks. At first I assumed it was only for the fact that I'd tried to kill her and we didn't have much business in talking to each other. I'd asked Steve and he'd told me not to worry about it, that she's a very reserved person; which I understand.

"Yeah, he'll be there" putting his foot on the gas, we turned a corner.

"Do you ever talk to Natasha?" I questioned curiously. Glancing down at my lap, I turned to look at him as he focused on driving "Has she ever said anything about me?"

"Why do you want to know? Did she say something to you?" the Soldiers gaze flickered over to me and I shook my head.

"That's what I mean. She barely acknowledges that I exist and when I try to talk to her she's always on missions or away. Did I do something wrong?" I asked sceptically. Maybe the Russian simply doesn't like me.

The Soldier sighed, his hands gripping the steering wheel "It's not that she doesn't like you. It's complicated" he replied "Me and Natasha, we've been through things together. No one knows except us. When she was still training in the red room I was there, just like when I was _you_ in the Facility. Times had changed and I barely remembered who or where I was half the time. I –"

"You have feelings for you" I finished with a little shock.

"Not anymore" he added firmly.

Slumping in the chair a little, I feel rather uncomfortable with the situation. I would never have guessed, but I somehow still knew deep down there was something going on. It made me laugh a little. I'm round and big and she's someone older – better. I wonder all the time how this happened. How did I end up with the Soldier when I barely looked at him sideways in the Facility? Why didn't things work out between him and Romanoff?

"What happened between me and her, it was a long time ago" he said "It wouldn't have worked. None of that matters any more – just you"

I tilted my head, my brows knitted together "Why _did_ you come back for me?" I questioned "After all those years you should have forgotten. You should have moved on" adjusting my position, my stomach is starting to become a little sore.

"I don't know" he replied "My brain was all over the place after I saved Steve. I started to remember things. I started to remember you. I don't know why, but you've always been important – important to _me_. The more I dug around, the more things I found and the more I knew that I needed to find you"

"You could have had a different life. If you had just left me, things would have been better for you"

"But I didn't and I don't regret it" taking another turn, I saw that we'd pulled into a gas station "Just need to get fuel. Won't be long" nodding, I sat in the passenger seat as he stood at the pump.

Clutching the side of the door handle, I shifted my position as the ache that had settled in my stomach turned to a dull pain. Taking a deep breath, I eventually got out of the car and walked around to the other side "I'm going to the bathroom" not waiting for a reply, I made my way over to the public toilets behind the gas station.

Stepping inside and closing the door, it stunk of chlorine filtered water and the usual smell of urine. Looking into the mirror, I rested the palm of my hands against the sink. A sharp pain struck my stomach and I gripped the ceramic basin with a tight grip. Groaning, I saw a sheen of sweat quickly forming on my forehead. Breathing in slowly like in Lamaze, I thought maybe it would help.

Slowly the ache began to ebb away and I straightened my body. I should head back to the car, the Soldiers probably waiting for me. Turning to reach for the handle, I was about to twist when a wet rush of liquid dribbled down my leg to pool onto the floor. Looking down wide eyed, my pants are soaked and the clear fluid is still trickling down.

Staring down at it, it didn't smell like urine and it didn't have a yellow tinge to it at all. I jolted at the sound of a knock on the bathroom door "Hold on, I'll be out in a minute" I called whilst looking around for something to clean up the mess and cover myself.

"Katya?" came the voice of the Soldier. Breathing a sigh of relief, I swung the door open and he stood on the other side. Pausing, his grey eyes looked me all over for any problem until he spotted my soaked pants and puddle "Come on" he said with a firm tone. Clutching my arm, he gently guided me to the car he'd parked around closer to the toilets.

"What happened?" I asked as he opened the door. Another sharp pain in my abdomen caused me to suck in a breath with a wince.

"You're water broke" he replied "I need to get you to a hospital"

Easing me into the car, I shook my head "It's too far away. Where out of town and it'll take too long to get to Starks"

Placing my hands on my knees, my legs are slightly parted as I breathed. It's nothing like how it is in class. I'm finding it hard to control anything. Trying to hold in the whines and whimpers, I couldn't help the few that would slip "Alright, just hold on" he said before rounding the car and getting in.

Driving for what seemed like hours, we'd eventually pulled into the parking lot of a hotel. Getting out, he opened my door and helped me out. Walking me up the stairs I became confused as he unlocked a room and nudged me inside.

"Why are we here?" I asked with a tremble in my voice.

"We thought it would be a good idea to have a place to go if this sort of thing happened. Turned out not to be a bad idea" he said with a huff. Moving me over to the bed, I sat down on the edge while he knelt in front of me. Taking my shoes off, the Soldier undid the button of my pants "Lay down" doing as he said, he pulled my pants off.

Getting up from the floor and taking his phone out, he dialled a number. I heard him mumbling on the phone to someone else. Moving around the apartment room, he collected some towels before coming back "Alright" he said. Putting the phone down on the bed, he turned the loud speaker on and a familiar voice echoed out.

"Katya?" called Cho.

"Yeah" I muttered loud enough for her to hear. My fingers clutched the bed sheets.

"We can't reach you right now but there's people on their way. I'm going to talk with James and we'll figure out how were going to do this"

"Alright" I replied.

"Don't worry, you're in good hands. He knows what he's doing and I'll be right there" before I had time to retort the fact, another contraction hit me and I groaned. I don't care at this point.

"Please, just get it out" I pleased. I can feel him moving inside me. I feel like he might tear me apart. Everything from the waist down is burning with fiery pain.

"Just breathe" spoke Cho with a calm tone.

I wanted to scream a string of curses but I held it in. I know she's only trying to help me. Closing my eyes I focused on the something calming, something that will make me forget. But all that's flashing in my mind are the nightmares and I shook my head. I can't think about that now – not now.

"I need you to check if she's dilated" ignoring her voice, I gasped when I felt the Soldiers fingers pushing up inside of me. My eyes snapped open and I glared at the man kneeling at the foot of the bed. Taking them out, he spoke to the doctor while placing towels around and underneath me "Katya, the babies coming a lot faster than we'd like. It's going to take another hour for us to reach you"

"What are you saying? You're not going to make it?" I asked frantically. Staring at the phone as if it were the doctor herself, I couldn't believe this "I can wait. It's fine"

"This can't _wait_ any longer than the baby allows. You need to listen to me" she said "Your cervix is dilating at an abnormal rate. In another few minutes you're going to be ready to push. When that's happens James will be right there with you"

Another contraction struck my groin and belly and I groaned. Resting my head back against the pillow, I willed myself through the pain as the Soldier stood to keep a firm eye on me "Alright"

Standing around the room, minute by minute went past and I wondered for each second how they couldn't be here by now. Getting off of the bed some time ago, I'm now pacing around while trying to control my breathing. Taking a sip of water, I put the cup down and whimpered as a longer more painful spasm crippled my body.

Looking up, the Soldier stood staring at his watch "Alright, you need to get back on the bed"

Doing as he instructed, I rested down against the pillows to give me support. Angling my knees, my body began to shake and I'm filled with dread. Wiping away the sweat from my brow, I glanced up at the roof. There's nothing here to comfort me except for him – the Soldier. This is it. Now the real work begins.

A fleeting moment passed the baby shifted inside of me and a stinging pain burned my crotch. Instead of trying to fight the contraction and seize up, my body is telling me to push instead; as if it were a foreign object that I needed to get rid of. A brush of fabric touched my thighs and I looked down to see the Soldier kneeling at the foot of the bed.

"You have to start pushing now" he said "Ready, one, two, three – push" my voice trembled and crackled as I whined loudly. The burning became awful and almost unbearable as I stretched. Tears streaked down my cheek and I can't hold it in. Pushing again, my lungs are heavy and my insides hurt.

"I can't do it" I cried "Please, just get it out of me"

"You can't stop. You have to keep going. Come on – push" he replied firmly.

My body ripped and teared like knifes splicing me open. I can feel him moving, the warmth of his little body creeping out from my belly and down. It's gone numb but I still feel everything. Sucking in a breath, my fingernails dug red indents into my palms. My mouth tastes like pennies as I bit my lip and tongue amidst all of my screaming.

"You're doing great" I can barely hear his voice.

Pressing the souls of my feet into the mattress, I pushed again before slumping down. Darkness is creeping into the corners of my eyes and I feel so incredibly tired "Katya?" he called after I stopped pushing. It hurts more to do nothing "You're almost there" lacing his cold metal fingers with mine, I jolted a little "One more time"

Lying there limp and fatigued, all I can see is flashes of thought and images. I'm having a baby and in a few more minutes I'll be made a mother. A rush of emotions surged through me, waking me up. I can feel my hair sticking to my skin. Leaning up on my elbows, I took a deep breath in before giving one hard squeeze.

Screaming, I thought the sound was my own until I recognised the high pitched tone and hiccup. An emptiness filled me and the pain in my groin and belly dialled down. Wailing into the room, I peeked down through the gap of my parted thighs to see the Soldier holding a twitching bundle in his arms – a beautiful baby boy.

Lowering myself down to rest against the pillows, my legs shook before collapsing to the side. I feel exhausted. Struggling to keep my eyes open, I listened to the cries of the baby as the Soldier got up from the floor to carry him over. With sheer force of will, I sat up with a wince before he handed me the towel wrapped infant. Resting him against my chest, the little boy latched his toothless mouth around my breast for milk and the crying stopped.

His tiny face is smooth and beautiful with a cute nose, wisps of dark brown hair, small fingers and toes and most importantly, his shocking eyes. He has his father's eyes. Even now when he's so young the two look so completely alike "Johnathan James Barnes" I said "That's his name"

"I like it" agreed the Soldier as he knelt by the side of the bed.

Turning my gaze to him, I admitted the heart filled truth "I love you, James"


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 _"Mister Corvin?"_

 _Jogging down one of the less busier street of New York, Bucky halted his pace at the call of a false name and the site of a young girl with red hair and green eyes. Raising her finger with a hesitant look, Bucky glanced around before looking back at the teen. A small smile etched on the girls features as her eyes lit with recognition. Of course, Bucky knew straight away who she is but wondered as to why he'd met her all the way in New York._

 _"It's me, Cassidy" explained the girl._

 _He nodded his head "Hi" he replied none too enthusiastically. It seems the Soldier with just have to play along._

 _Flickering her eyes down, Cassidy looked uncomfortable and nervous before she spoke again "I went to your house a few months ago but there was a for sale sign out the front. I didn't know you guy's moved. Amelia_ _never told me about it either and she hasn't been to school since. I'm just worried. Is she okay? Is she coming ba –"_

 _"No" replied Bucky. He knew the questions the girl was going to ask and he knows that Cassidy is the type of person to become easily attached. It was a good idea at the time for Katya to make friends, but he didn't expect the accident that came nor the news that followed. Now the Soldiers thinking maybe is wasn't such a good idea after all "Amelia won't be going back to school"_

 _"Is she alright? Can I –" shaking his head, Bucky let out a sigh. He doesn't have time for this._

 _"She's fine. She's moved on" he said before taking a glance down the street and adding "I have to get going. Have a good day"_

 _Giving a nod of his head Bucky took one last glance at the girl as she lowered her head to the ground. Cassidy is clearly upset over the situation. There's a million and one thoughts going through her teenage brain, but it doesn't seem like she's going to get much from the Soldier. Continuing his jog back to the Tower, Bucky left the red head to her own thoughts. She'll eventually get the message and move on._

 _That part of Katya's life is over._

 _Coming to a slow, Bucky looked up at the tall Tower building before entering through the large glass doors. Heading past the main desk and getting into the elevated, he watched the outside world become lower and larger as he ascended to one of the top floors. So far it's been five weeks since Katya gave birth to their son and there's only been a few minor complications; none of which they needed to worry about._

 _Making his way down the hallway and into the apartment, Bucky looked around to see the place empty. The quietness gave an eerie vibe and it disturbed the Soldier, as he's so used to having Katya by his side. Taking off his shoes and heading into the bathroom to take a quick shower, Bucky dressed before making his way to the medical bay._

 _Coming up to Katya's room, Bucky saw Steve only just leaving "Did you drop by for another visit?" teased Bucky._

 _Ever since they'd come back with the baby, Steve and the others were more than overwhelmed. Steve gave a slight shake of his head "I still can't get over it" he said "You're a father Buck. It's incredible. The boy's a_ _charmer for sure"_

 _"I appreciate it" replied the Soldier with a smile. He couldn't be more proud of the fact._

* * *

The door to my room opened again before a quiet whisper echoed in "Hey" looking up from the sleeping bundle in my arms, I smiled when I saw that it's James. Closing the door quietly behind him he came over to look at the little baby. A small rasp puffed out with some of Johnathan's breaths as he laid against my chest "How's he doing?"

"Good" I nodded while pulling the edge of the blanket up. I always make sure he's nice and warm "He went to sleep not long ago" I glanced over when the door clicked again and Cho entered with a medical chart.

"Finally asleep is he?" she asked and I nodded in response "Well, the good news is that the tests all came back positive. You can leave whenever you feel up to it" a small sigh of relief flooded me with the excitement of leaving back for home "I'll leave you two be" giving a nod of her head, the doctor left the room.

Watching James as he watched the baby, I can't help but feel different. I've decided that this is the time to change and to push the past behind me completely to start over. Johnathan is my new beginning and I'm going to make it worth wild. In truth, I've never been more close to James than I do now. He'd been there with me through the entire birth and he made sure I kept going even when I'd given up.

"Do you want to hold him?" I asked, but James gave me a worried and sceptical look. Lifting the baby, I nodded "It's alright. Here, just like this" I instructed him before slowly handing Johnathan over. Watching James cradle his son in his arms, he stood straight to look down at the resting little face.

Sitting there in the bed, I continued to watch as James cradled him close "Are you ready to head home?" he asked after a couple of minutes.

"Yeah" pulling off the blankets, I slowly got up from the bed. My body is still saw and tender, and my belly still a little swollen. Sitting down on the wheelchair that was already in the room, James handed me back the quiet bundle.

"All good to go?" he asked, to which I nodded my head.

Pushing us out of the medical bay and all the way back to the apartment, I got up and stretched my legs a little once we arrived. Taking a deep breath, I took in the familiar scent of home and I feel at peace. Heading down the hallway and into the nursery, I placed Johnathan down onto his crib. Making sure the blankets are nice and snug, I lightly traced my finger down the side of his smooth cheek as he slept.

He looks so silent and peaceful.

A sudden wash of fatigue hit me and my eyes began to droop. I still feel dirty after everything and so I went and took a shower before getting dressed into some comfortable clothes. Heading into the living room, I saw James watching the television "I'm going to bed" I announced while standing near him.

He nodded before standing up. Stepping toward me, his arms slipped around my waist and warm lips pressed against my forehead and then to my lips for a brief kiss "I'm glad your home"

"Me too" I nodded "Goodnight" gently untwisting myself from James' hold, I made my way into the bedroom before slipping under the soft covers. Turning off my bed side lamp, my head hit the pillow and I almost instantly fell into the numbing abyss of sleep.

* * *

Waking up the next morning, I rolled over to feel a warm body next to mine. James is still fast asleep on his side and I took the opportunity to glance over his resting features. He'd grown a slight scruff of stubble along his chin, but his hair still remained just above shoulder length. I can't help but take notice of how relaxed he seems. All those worries and that firm gaze of his is all washed away when he's asleep.

Carefully getting out bed, I made my way into the nursery to find Johnathan awake; staring up at me with those steel blue eyes. Touching the fluffy wisps of his brown hair, I lifted him up before patting his bottom. Setting him down on the changing table, I got him cleaned for the morning before slipping on a new change of clothes; adding a pair of blue socks to make sure his feet are nice and cozzie.

Setting him down on a pillow like cushion made for small infants on the couch, I kept an eye on him while I made his baby formula. Feeding and then burping with a couple of pats to the back, I sat him in a _comfy chair_ for babies while I prepared my own breakfast. Chewing on some crunchy flakes, my eyes remained pinned on the little boy as he sucked his pacifier.

The sound of dripping water started and stopped before James made his way out to dart straight for Johnathan. I smiled at the little muttering talk James made with his son before coming over to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee "How are you this morning?" he asked.

"Better" I nodded "I slept good last night" finishing my last bit of breakfast, I placed my dirty dishes away "I organised to have dinner with everyone tonight. I think it'll be nice"

James sipped on his coffee "Do you need anything?"

"No, I've got it all" I smiled as he grabbed his cap before adjusting it onto his head "I'm going out with Steve for a bit. Will you be alright here by yourself?"

"Yeah" I replied with some reassurance. Giving me a light peck on the cheek and heading to the door, it closed a moment later and I was left alone with Johnathan. Heading over, I crouched in front of him before touching his soft cheek "You're my beautiful baby boy"

Lounging around the apartment and attending to Johnathan, the day faded past and soon it was time for the dinner "He's so handsome" cooed Wanda as she held Johnathan in her arms. No matter what, she can't manage to keep away. Smiling, I hoped that one day she'll have children of her own. Although I wonder if that's at all possible considering her current partner. The notion made me a little sad.

Biting into a water cracker, so far Wanda, Vision and Steve have made it to the dinner. Stark and Pepper are on their own romantic date for tonight, and I can't help but grin at Starks romantic gesture. He can be suave when he wants to be.

Making preparations for a dinner, a sudden knock sounded on the front door and wondered who it might be. Everyone stopped talking and I glanced over to James as he shifted on his spot on the couch. Opening the front door, an unexpected guest revealed themselves "Natasha" I said with some surprise "You came"

"I'm sorry that I'm late" she said, sounding a little quiet and odd.

I opened the door wider and gave a welcoming smile "Don't worry, please come in"

Walking past me, Natasha looked around at everyone before turning to face me "I want to thank you for inviting me"

"Of course" I nodded my head while closing the door and stepped past her. I saw her eyes peering over my shoulder to glance at the baby boy in Wanda's arms. I gestured "Would you like to hold him"

Natasha glanced at me hesitantly before nodding "Yes, please"

Wanda came over and they exchanged Johnathan. I watched the gentle reaction on Natasha's face as she stared down at those same familiar eyes. She swallowed "He's a very handsome boy" she smiled "I'm happy for you – _both_ of you"

"Thank you" I replied with honesty.


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Wailing.

Groaning, I pulled the blanket over my head to try and block out the sound. This is the second time tonight and I can't bear it any more. Keeping my eyes closed, I tried to get back to sleep but the more I tried the louder the screaming became. Letting out a sigh, I pushed the blanket down and rolled over.

"James" I said croakily while nudging the solid man beside me "James, get up" pushing him harder, he groaned in response "He's screaming again"

"What do you want me to do about it?" he mumbled under his breath. Pushing his head further into the pillow, I knew he'd gone back to sleep.

"James!" I whined before pushing him "I've done if for a month. It's your turn" he didn't move and I snapped "Get up!"

Another deep groaned rumbled out "Fine, alright. I'm going" he replied sluggishly before sitting up and pulling on a pair of track suit pants. Stumbling out of the room, I closed my eyes and the crying soon stopped. Sighing in relief, I settled back into the bed with blissful quietness.

Drifting off to sleep, it seemed as if only a few minutes had passed when my eyes snapped open from a sudden ringing noise to my left. I knew straight away it wasn't the cries of the baby, but the beeping noise of the alarm I'd set. Slapping it off, I groaned in almost pain at the lack of sleep I've gotten. It wasn't like this in the beginning. Johnathan was always asleep and calm and now he's constantly crying for attention.

How do people function?

Pulling the blankets back up over my head, I rested my eyes for only a moment when I drifted off once again; only to be brought back by a sudden shove of the mattress "Katya" called James "Wake up"

"What?" I mumbled through the blanket "Five more minutes. I promise I'll get up" taking a deep breath, I relaxed when he rocked the bed again with a nudge of his knee "Jesus, what is it?" I snapped with frustration "What's wrong?" I know I shouldn't be getting angry, but I can't help it.

"It's nine-thirty and he needs to eat"

Sticking my hand out under the blanket, I waved and gestured sluggishly "There's bottles in the fridge. I pumped yesterday. There's plenty and if he doesn't like it, there's formula in the top cupboard"

"He won't drink the milk and we ran out of formula two days ago" he replied. Groaning, I can't believe this and I know it isn't going to be my day. Rubbing my eyes, I shoved off the blanket.

"Okay" I said while getting up "Just give me a minute" heading into the bathroom, I relieved myself before tapping my cheeks to try and jolt myself awake. Brushing my teeth and hair, I glanced in the mirror to see an awfully tired face staring back at me.

Making my way into the living room, James stood rocking Johnathan back forth before turning to look at me. Stretching my arms out, he passed me the baby who started to wail again because of the shift in movement. Hushing the infant, I took him over to the couch and sat down. Propping him up, I pulled down my top before wincing. Everything is sensitive including my breasts, and Johnathan had pinched them more than twice before.

After he'd finally finished, the little bub went off to sleep and I sighed inwardly in fear of disturbing his once again. Coming over, James leant in and took Johnathan "I'll take him to bed"

I didn't argue and instead fixed my shirt before sitting back. Closing my eyes, I heard the sound of cars and voices faintly from the large glass windows. Even at this early hour people bustle in the streets, going to either their jobs or lunch dates. Feeling a pair of hands resting on my shoulders, they gave a squeeze before massaging the tender area.

"You should get some more sleep" said James "I'll keep an eye on him"

As much as the offers sounds extremely irresistible, I shook my head "No, it's alright. I should stay awake" opening my eyes, I got up from the couch "I'm gonna go to the shops to get a few things" heading into the bedroom to get properly dressed, I tossed on a pair of sunglasses before grabbing an apple from the kitchen for a simple breakfast "I'll be back soon"

Nodding his head, James sat on one of the bench stools typing away on his computer. Lately he's been using his free time to catch up on various things on the internet. Tugging on my boots, I headed all the way down to the main lobby of the tower. As time had passed and I'd given birth to Johnathan, James had allowed me much more freedom. First it was simple things such as leaving the apartment to see Wanda, but now I'm able to leave the Tower on my own; as long as it isn't too far.

Heading down the street, a block away is a small corner shop and the bell rang when I stepped in. Going straight for the baby isle, I searched for the right formula tin. Grabbing two containers along with some bread and milk, I made my way to the front counter. I had to refrain from gasping in shock.

"Amelia?" spoke the familiar voice of Cassidy "It's you"

I took off my sunglasses "Cassidy. What a surprise" I replied before asking "When did you start working here, so far away?"

"A month ago" she answered "I thought your dad would have told you. I bumped into him when he was jogging on the other. I was just on my way from an interview for the job" I nodded my head with a smile, whilst wondering inside why James hadn't told me "You haven't been at school. Is everything okay? Your house was up for sale when I last checked"

"Yes, it was a last minute decision. As for school, I won't be going back. I've discovered a better suited pathway" I replied hesitantly.

"That's a shame" Cassidy replied with saddened tone. Grabbing my items, it didn't take her long to realise what she held "Baby formula?" she questioned confused.

I was silent for a moment before I came up with a story "It's for my Aunt. We've moved in with her and she has a baby boy" I spoke with a wide smile.

"Oh!" gleamed the red head.

"Thank you" I nodded. After scanning the other things, I paid and grabbed the bags before wishing her well "I have a good day Cassidy. It was nice to meet you again"

"Yeah, I was hoping we could catch up some time"

Perhaps I couch see her again but I doubt James would like it, especially if he _failed_ to mention anything about their encounter nearly a month ago. I have no idea what his excuse for that would be. Putting on my sunglasses, I headed back to the Tower and stopped on my way when a flash of colour and earthly scents caught my attention.

Flowers.

Pursing my lips as I touch the pink petals, I don't see how it would hurt to by a bouquet. The apartment could use with some added colour and a scent other than baby powder and musky cologne. Purchasing a rather vibrant bunch, I quickly made my way through the Tower lobby and up to the apartment.

Closing the front door behind me, I saw James still sitting at the counter as he scrolled through his laptop; however he must have taken Johnathan back to his cot earlier on. Putting down the bags on the counter, I grabbed a vase from one of the cupboards and filled it with some water. Lying the flowers down, I grabbed a pair of scissors "They look nice" spoke James.

"I thought it might liven the place" I replied while snipping the ends of the stems and placing them in the vase.

"What are you trying to say?" he joked "Aren't I cheerful or exciting enough?" shaking my head with a grin, I emptied the sachet of _flower food_ in with the water.

"I like the smell better"

"Now you're saying I stink" he said with a light chuckle and shake of his head "I'm hurt" he added mockingly while placing a hand over his heart.

Raising an eyebrow, I sat the vase over to the side and walked over to him "I'm sure you'll survive" patting him on the back, I went to walk away when he tugged me back. Pulling me close, James wrapped his arms around my waist. The feeling of his warm embrace felt nice "I have a question" I said to which he groaned and buried his face into my chest "What was that for?"

"Every time you have a question, it's never any good" he mumbled. I suppose I can't deny it. In fact, I was just about to ask him as to why he'd never mentioned Cassidy. I'm assuming that it would have ended up in an argument no doubt.

James sighed and I gently tugged on his hair to make him look at me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my lips against his in a firm kiss. I know it's been a while since we've been intimate. Slipping his tongue into my mouth, the moment grew heated and I was soon lifted from the floor. Wrapping my legs around his waist, James sat me on the bench and I moaned when I felt him press against me hard and ready.

Unbuttoning my pants and tugging them down, his hand wedged between my legs to rub at my sensitive bundle of nerves. Biting my lip with a moan, I pulled him closer to pepper kisses along his neck. Dipping his finger in all the way, a pool of warm rushed to my groin before he added another. The way his digits rubbed up inside of me made my inside twist with pleasure. It's been _far_ too long.

Leaning back from me, James unbuckled his jeans before tugging me closer to the edge of the bench. Pressing the tip of his throbbing member along my entrance he slowly sunk himself into me. A gasp escaped from my lips along with a wince as my walls stretched to accommodate his size. Pushing into me slow at first, the pain eased to be replaced with a coiling pressure.

Moaning into his shoulder as I clutched him tight, James picked up his speed with a sudden ram of his hips. Giving a sharp whimper, I can feel him nudging up against my uterus; so incredibly deep. Nearing the edge of a rather intense orgasm, James gripped my hips tight as he gave deep guttural moans above me. Suddenly a high-pitched wailing scream echoed out from down the hallway and I stiffened.

"The baby" I said with a hard swallow as James continued to thrust into me.

"He's fine"

Kissing along my neck and then up toward my face, he planted his warm lips on my mine. Holding onto me tight so I didn't move too much, my fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt but I couldn't manage to grab back that winding pleasure from before; it had dulled with Johnathan's screams. I shook my head when I couldn't take the sound any more "Stop"

"What?" nudging James away, he let go of me with a frustrated groan. Quickly pulling on my underwear for some form of coverage, I darted straight for the nursery. Leaning over Johnathan's cot with a coo, his face had scrunched a pinkish red as I held him.

"It's okay" I spoke softly "Mummy's here"

Rocking the little infant in my arms, his diaper didn't feel warm or heavy so he mustn't need a diaper change. Instead, I think our loud ruckus had woken him up. Pacing up and down the room, Johnathan eventually stopped crying as I hummed and patted his little back "Is he alright?" turning to look at James, he stood leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

"Yeah, he's okay" I replied. James' eyes wandered down to the now sleeping and calm baby in my arms before sighing and walking off to the bedroom. After doing a few more laps in the room to make sure he's alright, I settled Johnathan back down in his cot.

Heading into the main bedroom I saw James sitting on the edge of the mattress. Stalking over, I ran my fingers through his hair "I'm tired" he said "I'm going to bed"

My brows furrowed in confusion and I knelt down to look at him "You weren't tired before. What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm just tired" he huffed.

Glancing down, I can see the straining bulge in his pants and knew he's lying "Then you can sit there" I replied softly before undoing his pants. James didn't stop me in the slightest as I took him in my mouth, sucking and swirling my tongue in all the right ways. Giving a light groan, his hand clutched my hair to press me down harder.

Gagging, my hands tightened on his jean clad thighs. I've only ever done this once, much earlier on when we were still living in the house. He seemed to like it, even though I was going off of knowledge instead of experience. A moment longer and the passion from before seemed to ignite when he pulled me away, only to pick me up from the floor and drop me onto the bed.

Quickly kicking off my underwear, I rolled over onto all fours and arched my back. With my backside in the air and my legs spread wide, James' warm hands placed themselves on my hips "Close the door" I spoke over my shoulder. I don't want Johnathan to wake up again.

I felt the swollen tip pressing into me before slipping past to sink deep down "Just keep quiet" he said as my mouth parted with a hitched gasp. Clutching the twisted sheets beneath me, my walls clenched around him as he thrusted into me with a rock of his hips.

It's going to be a very long night.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Another month and a half had passed us by and I can't help but realise how big Johnathan has grown. Rocking the baby in my arms, he continued to shriek out with a red face. Reaching up with his stubby fingers, he wrapped them into a lock of my brown hair and pulled. Quickly untangling them with a wince, I pushed my hair behind my shoulder before picking up the bag James had packed for the baby.

Pulling the strap onto my shoulder, I made my way out to the kitchen. James had already left for his morning run with Steve and so I'm left alone for a few hours. Mentally checking a list I'd made, I placed the bag into the back pouch of the stroller before tucking Johnathan in his seat. I'd made an appointment with the doctor today.

It seems that no matter what I try to do, Johnathan won't stop crying and it's been this way for three days straight. At first I thought it was usual. He has his moment and then he's fine, but this time is different. He looks as if he's in pain and I can't manage to find anything physically wrong. I decided that if he didn't stop by this morning, then I'd take him to see Cho.

Pushing the stroller down the hall, I opened the glass door of the medical room and headed in "Good morning" I announced while clipping the brakes and giving the doctor a smile.

"Morning. How has he been?" she asked while snapping on a pair of white gloves "I see he still hasn't stopped crying" shaking my head, I took Johnathan and positioned him so that Cho can get a clear view. Bending down, she examined his tiny body "Has he been eating normal?"

"Usually. Sometimes he's crying too much and I can't get him to stop" I frowned at the site of his little face turning pink again as he clutched his fingers and kicked his legs "Is it something I gave him?" I asked curiously, hoping this isn't my fault.

"I don't think so. But I _do_ know he's hit his three month mark" she stated whilst looking into the babies month "By what I can see he's teething. It's completely normal at this age. A simple solution would be to get Bonjela from the store, or teething necklaces. It'll take away the pain and make him more comfortable. Also, no more breast feeding"

I nodded my head with a relieved sigh "Okay. That's good"

Giving me a smile, Cho took off her gloves "How have you been? Getting enough sleep?"

"As much as possible. It's hard some night. He wakes up four or five times"

"Having a baby isn't easy. It takes team work" sitting Johnathan back into the stroller, I grabbed the handle and unhooked the brakes. He seems to have calmed down a little.

"I'm glad I had Johnathan. There's just times where I think I'm not ready" I said while looking down. Having this baby has put some pressure on me these last few months. Between no sleep and no time to myself, I can feel my personal bubble slowly shrivelling away.

"For someone who thinks that, you're doing an amazing job" I gave the doctor a smile "Take a night off. I'm sure Wanda won't mind babysitting for a few hours. Have some times for yourself. Trust me, you'll feel better afterwards"

I nodded "I'll think about it, but thank you for everything"

Parting ways, it was rather coincidental that Cho had mentioned Wanda. After the appointment we'd organised to have lunch together at the park. Nice and quiet. Wheeling the stroller down the hall, we headed down to the main Lobby where the Sokovian stood waiting with a picnic basket in hand "Ready?" she asked, to which I nodded. Walking together we headed down the road "How was the appointment?"

"Good" I replied "Nothing seriously wrong, he's just teething. You don't mind if we stop at the shop do you?"

"Of course not"

Passing a few more places, I left Wanda with Johnathan in the stroller while I went inside. Turning my head, I hoped Cassidy isn't working today and I'm glad to not see her familiar face in site. Searching the isles for the gel as well as more formula, I finally found the items and paid at the counter. Coming outside and tucking away the bag in the back, I gestured and Wanda happily pushed the stroller. I know she likes to do it.

Continuing on our walk, we made our way onto the grassy field and sat down. Helping her with the setup, I fluffed the red picnic blanket she'd brought and laid it onto the ground. Sitting down, Wanda opened the containers of food in her basket and handed me a small plate. Sitting there in the warm bask of sun light, we talked about an array of things.

"How are you and Vision getting along?"

"Were doing well. It's complicated some days, but were managing" she said with a smile. Biting into an almond, I looked over at Johnathan as he sucked on a bottle I'd prepared for him "And you and James? Have you spent any time together other than in the apartment?"

I shook my head "No, not since he was born. We have our own complications. I'm too busy fussing over the little one or too tired. We've stopped having dinner together. We usually sit by ourselves now. I know James gets restless with it all. He helps, but I know he wants more"

"More?" she questioned "He has everything he could ever want. A beautiful partner and a healthy child. I know that isn't a possibility with me and Vision, but we've both made peace with the fact. Were happy with just ourselves. Every relationship has their ups and downs, but you make the most of what you have. Although, I understand being a parent must be hard"

"As I knew it would be. I wasn't sure if I wanted Johnathan, but I knew James did and that it would make him happy. Now that he's here, I think he's realised there's more to it than he thinks. I'm always the one looking after Johnathan while he and Steve go out together, which is another think I've noticed. James isn't around as much as he used to be"

"Have you talked to him?" she asked while taking a sip of her water.

"No, I haven't. I've tried to, but I know it's only going to end in an argument. I don't bother anymore" I replied "Cho said I should take some time off for myself, but I hate leaving Johnathan alone and I doubt the time would make a difference"

"I can watch him, it's no trouble. Maybe you shoulder have dinner with each other. Be together. He's probably restless after all those months of your pregnancy" I almost chocked a little before covering my mouth. Wanda laughed at the site.

"I'm sure it's not _that_. Everything in that area, I think is fine" I replied. Sitting in silence for a moment, I stared at the lake a few meters away before admitting "Okay, you may be right"

"I knew it" she exclaimed before clasping her hands together.

"It isn't my fault, it's –"

"The baby's?" she finished with an arched brow.

"It doesn't happen often, twice, and barely. I swear he just _knows_ and then he screams. By the time I finish calming him down the moods gone and were back to being in our own solitary space in the apartment"

"Drop Johnathan off tonight and have dinner with James. I'm sure it'll patch a lot of things and give you freedom for a night"

Thinking about it for a moment, I nodded "Alright, I'll drop him off this afternoon" finishing our lunch, I helped with the picnic stuff before we made our way back to the Tower. Heading up the elevator, we stepped out "Is five-thirty alright?"

"Perfect" she replied.

Parting ways and heading back to the apartment, I parked the stroller in the corner. Picking up the bag of items from the shop, I placed it on the bench where I saw James' keys and wallet sitting in the bowel. I heard him coming down the hallway and he went straight for Johnathan "How's my baby boy?" he cooed before picking him up "How did his check-up go? Everything alright?"

"Yeah" I replied while holding up the gel "He's teething, so I think from now on its formula. I got a few more containers while I was out" putting the tins into the cupboard, I grabbed and unboxed the Bonjela.

"Probably better we use the formula anyway"

My brows knitted at the response. Since when does he worry about what I feed the baby "Why?" I asked while reading the directions. It says just to rub it on the gums.

"Apparently it could be bad to give him breast milk. The toxins from your body could be in it"

"Are you saying I'm toxic?"

"I'm just saying" he said in defence "I read it online somewhere. It's a good change"

Putting an amount onto my finger, I didn't argue about the situation "Can you hold him still?" leaning over I rubbed the gel onto his gums. Making a few whimpering sounds, Johnathan started to calm down afterwards. Grabbing the baby bag from the stroller I started unpacking it in the kitchen "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Whys that?"

"I was thinking I could drop off Johnathan with Wanda and we could, have a night alone. Dinner?" I suggested. Putting my hands on my waist, I stood waiting for his answer.

"Dinner?" he questioned as if it were strange "Tonight?"

"Yes" I nodded "Is that okay?"

Scratching the back of his neck with his free hand, James continued to rock the baby "Sure. Yeah, that would be great"

Nodding my head, we both stood with some awkward tension. Looking around, I headed down the hallway not knowing what to do. Having a shower and getting dressed, I came back into the living room to see James sitting on the couch watching television alone "He fell asleep" I said.

James looked down at his son "I'll go put him to bed"

Standing in the middle of the apartment, I'd never felt more out of place than I do now. After looking at the clock, I decided to start making dinner. Nothing too fancy, but enough to make it look as if I'd put in some effort. Once the time rolled over to five-thirty and James continued to sit on the couch, I grabbed a now wide awake Johnathan from his cot and sat him in the stroller.

"I'm just dropping him off. I'll be back soon" I said before grabbing Johnathan's overnight bag and heading over to Wanda's.

Knocking on the familiar door, I waited a minute before the Sokovian gave me a large smile "Please come in" opening the door wider, I pushed the stroller.

"Alright" I said while setting the bag down onto the table. I pointed to explain "Diapers are in here as well as formula. Use two scoops and he likes it like warm. The bottles are in here. He likes birds and bird sounds and being rocked. The Bonjela is in this pocket, just rub a little bit on his gums and he'll be okay. If you need to change him, make sure to use the cream and powder, he gets a rash otherwise – and I think that's it. Oh, and the pacifiers and toys are in here"

Wanda gave a light chuckle "Don't worry, everything will be alright" she said with a smile "Have a good night"

"Thank you, again" I said before giving Johnathan a kiss and heading back to the apartment.

After preparing the rest of dinner and plating it up, James had made the table. Sitting down we had a few candles and glass of wine; he has beer. Sipping away, we ate quietly and awkwardly. Not at all relaxing or romantic. Leaning back in my chair with my glass of wine in hand, I found James staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Why do you want to be alone all of a sudden, and with a _romantic_ dinner" he said with a gesture of his knife to the candles.

"I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together"

Sipping my wine, it's my six glass for the night and I'm starting to feel the tingle in my fingers. Getting up from his chair, James walked over to a vinyl recorder and placed in a disk. Coming back over, I heard the sound of jazz music waft through the air. Standing before me, he held out his hand for me to take.

"Dance with me" he said.

I'm sure it was supposed to be more of a question rather than a demand. Taking another mouthful of my drink, I eyed him up and down. My mind is going hazy and I began wondering what exactly he's up to. We rarely talk to each other and now he wants to suddenly dance. It seem miraculous. James sighed before prying my glass away from my hands.

"Stop drinking and dance with me" setting down the glass he took my hand and tugged me up from my seat to lead me into the living room.

Pulling me toward him, I bumped into his chest. I'm not too accurate with my footing as of now. Listening to the soft jazz, we started to gently sway and his hands rested on my waist "I don't know what I'm doing" I mumbled.

"Well, I happen to be a great teacher"

I can feel the rumble of his voice coming from within his chest. Resting my cheek against it, the warmth of his body calmed me. Swaying back and forth, it's all starting to feel nice and relaxing. The awkwardness from before is ebbing away and I'm relaxing, maybe a little _to_ o much. Falling asleep, I almost dropped to the floor but James caught me.

"Am I really that boring?" he jested.

"Sorry" I mumbled in reply. Standing up straight, I braced the palm of my hands on his chest to steady myself "James"

"Yeah" he said

Reaching up, I wrapped my arms around his neck and tugged him down for a rough kiss. Returning the favour, heat rose between my thighs but was quickly cut short when he pulled away "Alright, I think you should go to bed. Come on" he said while tugging me, but I didn't budge.

Shaking my head, I went to kiss him again but he moved out of the way. He's being confusing. One minute he wants to do it anywhere and everywhere with no care of who's around or if their _crying_ , but now suddenly he's acting as if he doesn't like it "Why?" I asked "What's wrong"

"You're drunk" he stated blandly.

I scoffed "I'm fine. Really" resting my head against his chest, I erupted with a sudden fit of giggles "Come on. Have some fun" I looked up into those grey eyes of his and smiled. Something is oddly funny about the situation but I don't know what.

Biting my lip, I got down on my knees; my hands trailing down his torso. Quickly grabbing me by the forearms, he pulled me up "Oh no you don't" he said while holding me up "Come on"

"Ты знаешь чего хочешь" (You know you want to)

"Не сегодня солнышко" (Not today Sweetheart) he replied before bending down to pick me up and marching me to the bedroom.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N Another update! Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Shifting to the left I must have rolled over too much, as the next thing I know I'd landed on the cold carpet floor. Groaning and lifting my head, I rolled onto my back while trying to blink the fuzziness from my eyes. My brain is slowly trying to work and piece everything together. How did I get here and why does everything hurt?

Glancing up at the roof of the bedroom, my eyes squinted and my ears rang. Wincing, a sharp ache thumped in my skull and right behind my eyes. Reaching to clutch my sore head with my hands, I found that I can't move my arms. Looking down, I saw myself wrapped up in a large shirt that'd been made into a makeshift straight jacket.

"You kept trying to undo my pants" came a voice by the door. I looked over to see James standing near me with a cup of coffee in his hands "You've been asleep for most of the day. It's nearly lunch"

Squinting up at him, it took me a moment to register everything he'd said. When the information finally processed, I thumped my head back against the carpet floor. I feel stupid. I'd ruined my chance last night "Please, get me out of this"

Setting down his mug on the nightstand, he bent down to pick me up. Setting me up right on my feet, James turned me around and untied the shirt. My arms loosened and I took off the shirt to see the clothes I'd been wearing last night. My hands rubbed my temples, trying to somehow ease the pain. Taking a deep breath I headed past him and into the shower. I feel dirty.

Closing the door and turning on the water taps, I waited for the steam before getting in. I immediately wondered what had happened last night and what I was thinking. Trying to think back to the events of the not-so-romantic-dinner, I can't seem to get anything. The only memory that I can manage it when James asked me to dance. After that it's all blank.

Hopping out of the shower and drying myself, I bushed my teeth before walking out to the kitchen in order to face my shame. I suppose James isn't the only one able to get drunk. Sitting down at the bench, James held out two pills for me "Here, take these"

Grabbing them, I downed the pills with a glass of water. Now that I don't breast feed, I can take medication and not have to worry about making Johnathan sick. However, just because he's teething and not feeding from me it doesn't mean I stop producing milk. I can feel the familiar ache and fullness in my chest and they look swollen; which James never seems to mind.

Getting up and heading into the nursery, I sifted through the draws to try and find the pump. I wonder where I placed it. I just hope it's not lost "What are you looking for?" slamming a draw a little too loud, I winced from the noise.

"The pump. I can't find it anywhere" I replied. James sighed before grabbing it out of the cupboard and handing it to me "Thank you" I said before sitting down on the chair in the room. James had left and I closed my eyes as the device did its job with a mechanic hum.

Once the bottle had been filled and the swelling had gone down, I set myself free from the pump and disposed of the milk. Tipping it down the drink, I washed the bottle and pump before placing it on the rack to dry. I turned around to see James sitting at the dinner room table flicking through something on his laptop. I can't see what it is because he's facing toward me.

"Are you mad?" I asked quietly. He didn't seem too happy a minute ago.

James didn't look up from his laptop as he shook his head "No, I'm not bad" he said before later adding "I have to go out for a bit with Steve. I'll be back before dinner" closing his laptop lid, he got up with a little hurry in his step. Planting a kiss on my forehead, he was quickly out the door and I was left a little stunned by the flurry of motion. What was that all about?

Frowning, I glanced over to his computer as it sat on the table. Shaking my head, I immediately scolded myself for the thought of even looking. I shouldn't pry, but he's been on it non-stop for the past month. I took a shaky breath, I sat down at the same chair and opened the lid of the computer. Watching the screen light up, I knew James was up to something.

I just didn't think it would be this.

* * *

 _The duo stood inside Steve's apartment "Are you sure you really want to start doing this" asked Steve as he crossed his arms. They'd discussed the matter in the past, but now it's time for a proper answer. Steve isn't sure if Bucky should be getting back into this "Have you told Katya?"_

 _Bucky sighed with agitation. He knows he should have. The decision doesn't just affect him anymore, it affects his family "I know what I'm doing. I'll tell her when the time is right. She's just going to have to accept it"_

 _"I know you think that Buck, but going back onto the field is dangerous. You've read the mission reports. We're going after Hydra. It could turn bad and with you there – I don't want you falling back into their hands. Especially now with your condition – your family" argued Steve._

 _"It's under control. What happened in Berlin isn't going to happen again. I'll be careful" Bucky wanted to believe the words he's say but he knows there's a chance, no matter how small. He thought beforehand that everything was past him, but what happened in Berlin proved him wrong._

 _"You don't know that. You said it yourself. Whatever they put inside of you, it's still there I'm just trying to look out for you"_

 _"I know"_

* * *

Stripping Johnathan's cot of the dirty sheets, I'd started to clean up the nursery. Placing them into the wash pile in the laundry, I wiped down the sides of the cot as well as the changing table. I may as well clean since the baby's away. He always hates the noise the vacuum makes. Grabbing said device out of the cupboard, I zoomed around the apartment quickly. Tony hired us cleaners to come every Friday, but sometimes I prefer to do it myself. It helps take my mind off of things, especially after this morning.

I still can't believe it, even when it's right there in front of me. I had my doubts when he said all he'd been doing was researching. At first I assumed it might have been about Steve or himself, but after a month one would think you'd have found everything there is to know.

I realise we don't have the best communications skills. James doesn't tell me everything that's on his mind and neither do I. I suppose it's because neither of us have ever really had the luxury to talk about things beforehand. We were both taught to keep whatever we felt bottled inside. In saying all of that, it's not that I've never tried, because I have. But James is a hard person to read. He's good at hiding his emotions as well as secrets. Which is why I never had a clue as to what was going on until now.

I didn't think he'd do that to me.

Finishing with my brisk few hours of cleaning, I made my way down to Wanda's apartment. Knocking on the door, I decided it's time to pick Johnathan up and resume the role of _mother_. Standing still, it didn't take long for an answer "Good morning. It's good to see you again" Vision gave a smile.

"You too" stepping into their apartment, I immediately spotted Johnathan dribbling in his stroller while playing with a yellow rattle. Kneeling down, I ticked the infant as he recognised my face with a smile "Hello my handsome baby boy" turning my head, Wanda came down the hall "Thank you again for watching him"

"Anytime. He's a very good boy" she said while zipping the baby bag "If you ever need some alone time, I'll be happy to look after him again" nodding my head, I got up from the floor and tucked the bag into the back of the stroller. I wheeled him out into the hallway "I'll see you later" said Wanda with a little wave at Johnathan.

I gave another smile before we headed back to our own apartment. Walking through the front door, I sighed "Well, we're back home" I said more to myself than the baby.

Hearing him kick with his feet and let out bubbling puffs of air, I grabbed the bag from the stroller and placed it on the bench. Picking Johnathan up and placing him in the pen, I gave him a couple of wooden blocks and toys to play with. He grabbed it from my hands and banged it around before looking up at me. I can't help but be mesmerised by those similar steel blue eyes.

"You're looking more like your father everyday"

Keeping an eye on the boy, I cleaned up the few dishes lying around as well as the used formula bottles. Peering outside the large glass window, my eyes raked over the view of the city. I'm feeling a little more energetic than this morning. Plucking Johnathan from his play pen and setting him back into the stroller, we made our way down to the lobby and down the street. It's a lot less cramped outside with fresh air and the sound of life.

Walking through the doors of a large building called _Baby Warehouse_ , the immediate smell of new furniture and the odd scent of children wafted past me. Wandering down several isles, I scanned the shelves to find the teething necklaces Cho had recommended. Being absorbed in my search I didn't hear the young man approach me.

"Can I help you with anything today?" snapping my head up, I smiled at the brunette who stood beside me.

"Yeah, I'm trying to find teething necklaces" I replied, although it sounded more of a question. I'm not quite sure on what I'm doing. Flickering my gaze to the name tag, I noticed it read Mathew.

He nodded before directing me to a place behind him. His hazel eyes caught the light "You're not far off, there just over here" nodding, I followed the man while pushing the stroller.

Halting still, I watched him as he gestured to the different varieties of necklaces; some of them multi-coloured while other are a plain dirty yellow like stone. Picking up two different ones, he explained "There's different choices and there all perfectly safe and healthy. This one is raw, which means it has more succinic acid and it works better. This doesn't have the same high level of acid, so it's not as strong. Personally, I'd go with raw"

I nodded, he seems to know what he's talking about "I think I'll trust you on this one" handing me the necklace I felt the cold amber beads in my hand.

"Good choice" he said with a smile "Is that all you need?"

"Yeah"

"I'll put you through then" following Mathew back to the checkout, he scanned the item "He's a cute little guy" he complimented while gesturing to Johnathan who sat looking none too bothered by anything.

"Thank you" I replied. I can somehow tell the silent question he's trying to ask – of whether or not Johnathan is mine. I don't mind giving them the answer. Giving a smile, he handed me the necklace.

"Have a nice day"

"You too" pushing Johnathan out of the store we made our way back home.


End file.
